Returning Home
by love marely
Summary: What if Katniss had never thought of using the berries in the hunger games. What if Peeta had DIED while they tried to come up with a solution. What if none of this mattered because the capital purposely found a way to keep Peeta alive in order to use Katniss in the war that was now about to form. What if Katniss became the mockingjay for the capital. Katniss POV
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so this chap is kinda just to inform whats been going on in her life but the juicy stuff will start in the next chap.**

I know now that I loved him. I know now for sure that what I felt when he was around...it was love. Not the same love I feel for Prim or Gale. It was true love. I was truly in love with Peeta, but none of that matters now. It's over. Peeta is gone now. I wish nothing more than to have known the love I feel for him now while he was still around. Now everyday for the fest of my life I will have to live with his blood in my hands. Becuase I let him die. I should have saved him. I should have done everything I possibly could to save his life, but instead I just held his hand until his body became lifeless. Everyone and everything around me has felt like a blur since the moment his hand went limp in mine. It was like being in a coma. I knew what was happening around me, I knew people were talking to me, but I was unable to register a response.

The days flew by after the games. All the interviews were over. The interviews were the only thing I managed to put a smile on my face for. I did it for Effie and Haymitch and Cinna. I did it because that's what they wanted me to do and Icouldn't let them down. They deserved better. I smiled and laughed with Caeser joke with him and gave the crowd what they wanted, but none of it felt real, I watched myself do all those silly things as though it wasn't me. After the interviews I saw doctors they helped a little... or at least they tried. No one else could see the blood stained on my hands. The blood of the man I now knew I loved. No amount of soap and showers could wash off his blood. I went to several doctors... and none of them could prescribe a medicine strong enough to mend a broken heart. So I was sent home. The first time I saw my sister is when I gave my first sincere smile.. When I saw her I ran to her and she jumped in my arm's. Seeing her is my only relief. When she's around I can smile, and I can laugh, and I can feel myself again, BUt the moment she leaves it's over. I stare at my hand's. I dont cry anymore, not because Im not sad anymore, but because no amount of tears would bring him back.

I spent most of my time with Prim. In the morning she would wake me up and I would shower and she would braid my hair for me while I ate breakfast in our new kitchen. She would leave to school and I would return back to my room and close all the shades. Sometimes I would nap or stare out the window, but no matter everyday an hour before Prim got home I would enlighten my room, I would make her lunch and wait for her arrival. It was the only part of my day I looked forward to. I would help her with her school work or we would play games or just talk. She was the only person that I trusted enough to talk to about what had happened.  
Gale had made himself unavailable to me. It was as if he was angry at me but I don't understand. He and I were never together and we were never romantic with each other. We were friends up until the games and now when I needed him most is when he decides to abandon me. Ofcourse I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't look me in the eyes and that hurt more than not talking at all. When I returned of course he congratulated me and hugged me and smiled at me, but the moment he saw that what Peeta's death did to me is when he began to resent me. I now understand that we did have something special between us. We had a bond that formed when our father's died and since them it only got stronger. We grew up together and helped each other because we both had similar problems, but when I went to the hunger games I faced a problem that we didn't share. So I bonded with Peeta, and each day as my and Peeta's bond got stronger... the one I had with Gale drifted away. My days became so empty. I didn't have my best friend anymore. I didn't have the man who was forced onto me but soon I began to fall in love. Every second of my days I spent thinking of the two men in my life that had been taken away from me.

Then one day I received a phone call, and the voice on the other end made my heart speed up and my nerves to awaken. It was the most amazing sound I could ever hear and it made my days worth everything. After that phone call I cleaned up and put the pieces of myself back together, but in the end it wasn't just for that voice that I fixed myself. It was for myself and Prim and Gale. It was because of his voice that I realized they also needed me. It was all because of Peeta's voice that I decided to do everything I can to put my life back to the way it needs to be.

**Ok so review my story and I will post another chap as soon as I see that people will actually read this. Thanks for reading**  
**-Love Marely**


	2. Chapter 2 The arena

_**In the arena on the last day of the 74th Hunger Games**_

**Claudius Templesmith's voice boom's into the arena. "Greetings to the final contestants of the seventy-fourth HUnger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."  
**I stare at Peeta as he stare's back at me. I can feel the arrow in my hand burning my finger's as I try to figure out what to do with it. Peeta take's a step closer to me his hand reaching for the knife in his belt. I grip the arrow in my hand and just as Im about to load my bow and point it at his heart He tosses his knife in the lake. I drop my weapons immediately and I feel them fall by my feet.  
"Im sorry I just... I wasn't thinking." I stutter unsure of how I feel about this whole thing. It all makes sense they never intended for their to be two victor's all they wanted was a good show, and I let them play me into believing it was true.  
"No it's fine. Do it. I have nothing to go home to, you made a promise to your sister. You need to get back to her." He said as he picked up my bow and arrow and placed them in my hands.  
"No you have me to go home to! I didn't nurse you back to health so that you would help me. I knew I would be better off by myself but I wanted to be there with you." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I tossed my bow in the lake and watched it sink slowly. I shouldn't have done that. I should have killed him. He's right I made promise to my sister, and to rue that I would win. But now the thought of having to kill him makes my fingers go numb.  
"Please Katniss this needs to end. You need to go home!"He yells at me desperatly.  
"I don't want to go anywhere without you there has to be another way I can't lose you. Not after all we have been through."  
"That's fine but we both know I can only hold on for so long. So please do me the favor of putting me out of my misery." He says as he sits on the ground his bleeding leg layed out in front of him. His wound opened and it was bleeding immensely.

I picked up the arrow off the floor and quickly fixed his tourniquet. But as I look at his leg I know he's right. It's pointless for me to try and save him he need's extreme medical help. Something I can't offer him without killing myself. I get up and walk to our bags next to the lake.  
"What are you doing?" He ask's watching me closely.  
"Looking for something that might help you." I say as I turn my back to him and search through the bag my eyes set out for the small pouch that will save his life. I find the pouch and take a few berries out of the bag. I take a deep breath and pretend to continue rusting through the bag as if I was still looking for something. I close my eyes and hold the berries up to my mouth and just as their about to go past my lips I feel them being knocked out of my hand. I watched motionlessly as Peeta threw the rest in the lake out of my reach.

"Why did you do that." I say emotionlessley. staring at him as he crawls back to me.  
"I told you. You are not killing your self for me! you are not doing me any favors by doing this!" He yelled at me as he gripped my hand. I take a deep breath and pull his head into my lap. There was nothing left to do...except...

"Let me try to tighten your tourniquet." I say setting his head back of the ground and crawling to his leg loosening his tourniquet and slipping the arrow out. without thinking I take the arrow and make a deep cut from my wrist to my elbow. The blood now pouring from my arm. I didn't have the guts to stab myself knowing prim is watching me, but the blood flowing from my cut might be enough to allow me to die before him.  
"Katniss NO!" He yells Yankng the arrow from my bloody fingers.  
"Im sorry but I had to. I can't let you die. Maybe we will both die and we can both be together." I say tightening the tourniquet. Peeta lays down hopelessly on the ground staring at the rising sun. I pulled his head back into my lap with my good arm. I watched his face. Pushing the hair out of his pale face. My arm was throbbing and I could feel the warm blood dripping down my arm and onto the ground beside me.  
"Katniss?"  
"Yes Peeta?" I say stroking his cheek.  
"Kiss me." He say's softly. I lean down and I give him one soft sweet kiss on the lips my tears dripping down onto his face. My heart skipped a beat and I wish this kiss would never end. But of course I have to pull away and as I stare into his eyes he softly whispers to me.  
"I love you Katnisss Everdeen." I dont even have a chance to register what he has said to me before he slips a single berry into his mouth and swallows.  
"PEETA NO!" I yell shoving my fingers in his mouth trying to make him throw up, but it was too late. I pull out my hand and watch as his eyes drift close and a second later I hear the cannon.

"PEEETAA NOO!" I scream repedetly shaking him as if I can shake the life back into him.  
"PLEASE PEETA NO PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO ME!" I scream suddenly I feel hands grab me from behind pulling me away but I grip onto his lifeless body unwilling to let go. A peacekeeper comes and tears my hands off Peeta. I scream struggling to get away from them to get back to holding him in my arms. but they hand cuff me and place my hand and feet on the ladder that freezes my hands in place.  
"PEETA IM SORRY! PLEASE PEETA I LOVE YOU TOO!" I scream as im lifted into the hover craft. I watch as he lies on the floor.  
"I LOVE YOU PEETA! PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE!" I yell hopelessly as i watch his body be lifted off the ground by the hovercraft. I watched as disappeared forever.  
"Peeta please... Peeta come back... please." I say as im layed down onto a table while doctor's work over me.  
"Peeta I love you... come back." I whisper as I feel my eyes slowly drift close I struggle to fight it but in the end darkness overcomes me.

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Ok so review!  
-love Marely


	3. Chapter 3 Making Ammendments

Okay so here is another chapter! Yaaaayy read and review please !

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I had woken up late today. It was past noon and I probably would have slept longer if the sunlight streaming in from the windows wasn't shinning directly in my face. I traced the slight scar on my forearm. It was nearly impossible to see but I could feel it and i could feel the failure it left behind. I should have dug the arrow in deeper. I should have stabbed myself directly in the throat. There is nothing I shouldn't have tried to do. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling for what seems like seconds when the alarm alerting me that prim will soon get out of school. I tell myself its time to take a shower for prim and I manage to drag myself out of my bed. I take a quick shower and dress in my usual black pants and long-sleeved white shirt. I tell myself need to start making Prim food now so that it will be ready by the time Prim comes home. I walk slowly down stairs and begin to make a simple turkey soup. I put water to boil on the coal stove and starts dicing vegetables. I have just poured the chunks of meat in the boiling water when the phone rings. I don't ever answer the phone but since it seems I'm the only one home and only a handful of people have this number and if there calling it has to be an emergency...not that I care, but i force myself to answer the phone anyways.

"Hello?" I say in a scratchy voice since this is the first time I said anything all day after a night of dry sobbing.

"Katniss?"Say's a beautiful soft voice. It take's me only a second to register who's voice it is.

"Peeta! Peeta is it really you! Where are you?" I say frantically gripping the phone closely to my ear not wanting to miss a word he says.

"Im fine Katniss everything is going to be," and suddenly his voice is cut off and Im left all alone once again.

"Peeta!" I scream into the dial. slamming the phone into the receiver and pulling it back to my ear hoping to hear his voice on the other line again. "Peeta..." I slay sliding down the wall to the floor clutching the phone to my chest as the tears drip down my cheeks and onto the wooden floors. I sit on the floor for a minute letting the tears form a puddle on the ground. i finally get off the ground and place the phone softly in the receiver as if it was made of glass. I walk to the kitchen ready to turn off the stove and head back to my room to cry in my room. Then i catch a glimpse of a women through the glass window. Her eyes were red a and puffy. Her hair was a tangles mess. You can tell by the pale yellow tint of her skin that she had not seen the sun in weeks. I take a step closer trying to figure out who the beastly women in the window is. When i look into her eyes, and once i look past the crazy and sadness that had over taken her, I recognize her. If you look past all her self hate and regret she resembles a young girl. A girl who only a few months ago was only concerned for keeping her little sister alive. A girl who worked herself to the bone to put food on her little sisters plate, a girl who signed up to be slaughtered to ensure her sisters safety. That girl would have looked at who she is now and would have seen her as weak. The way she saw her mother the weeks after her father had died.

"WHO ARE YOU!" I scream to her just before my fist collides into the mirror smashing it to pieces. I take a long slow deep breath before I realize that i know what i have to do. I can't be that poor weak girl anymore. It has gotten me nowhere so far, and Im ready for a fight. I run my now bleeding hand under the faucet letting the cold water awaken my stiff fingers and wash away the bloody mess enough to be able to assess the damage. The cuts aren't very deep but i wrap my hand in a bandage so that i can finish the soup without getting any blood in it. I give the soup a quick stir before I head to a closet that holds all our cleaning supplies and grab a broom to clean up the bloody broken glass before Prim gets home. Once im finished i once again check the soup even though it most definitely smells done. I check the turkey to make sure its white all the way through before I turn off the stove and make my way to the bathroom. I wash my face washing away all my sadness. I brush out my hair which takes longer since this is the first time in weeks i completely brushed it instead of just braiding it into a tangled mess. Once i finish i see that it has grown about two or three inches since the games. It must have liked the new shampoos I receive from the capital. I neatly braid it down my back and dress in clothes that are less baggy.

I finally notice how much I had actually let myself go. I'm thinner from the lack of appetite my sadness had given me, and even though Cinna was constantly sending in beautiful outfits from the capital I never wore anything that wasnt made of cotton, or any shirt that wasn't long enough to cover the non visible scar on my forearm, because for some reason seeing it reminded me of the failure. But now I'm determined to use it to remind myself that no matter what i have to do i am going to get him back because I know he is out there and that he would be willing to do the same for me. When im done i look at myself in the full length mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I look clean and refreshed. I look better than I have in weeks. I feel better than i have in weeks because I have something I didn't have before... hope. Just then I heard the front door open and I shut the door to my room suddenly embarrassed by the mess in it. I walk down stairs and see Prim taking off her boots and coat and putting them in the closet by the door.

"Hey Prim how was school?" She looks startled at first by my appearance and then a wide smile spreads across her face and without saying a word she embraces me in a warm hug.

"It's good to have you back Katniss"She says softly and it only makes me hold her tighter.

"I sware I'm not going anywhere this time," i say as I pull away and pull her towards the kitchen. As she sets up the table and I pour us both a bowl of soup - for the first time deciding to eat lunch with her - I tell her of the phone call and the window. I had decided not to tell her but when i saw the happiness it brought her just to see me looking like my old self again, i couldn't bare to lie to her. I talked and she listened taking slow sips of her soup as she listened.

"I'm going to change Prim. I promise, and it's not just for him it's us. It's for you. I never want you to see me like that again." I say holding her hand from across the table. "I sware im going to protect you.

"It's okay Katniss i understand what you were going through and I'm just glad to know that you are better now."She squeezez my hand.

"Let's finish eating before our soup gets cold."I say pulling are hands apart.

"What are we going to do about the window?"She ask's as a cold breeze comes in. Winter should be starting any day now and we would freeze if i don't get it fixed soon.

"I don't know am I supposed to call someone to have it fixed or do I fix it myself." Since this is the victor's village and I don't really know the rules for it. There's a grounds keeper that takes care of the outside of the house such as the grass and plant's.

"I think I will ask the grounds keeper what I should do." I say finally.

"tomorrow is Friday so he should be here to cut the grass and take the can ask him then" She say's standing and putting her empty bowl in the sink. I stand and do the same.

"Where is mom I feel as though i havent seen her in days."I say Putting all the dirty dishes in the sink as Prim starts washing them.

"She get's home late and by then you are already in bed. She is at our old house. She is having it cleaned and fix and she's going to make it her new work space to treat her patients when it's done. She hired a few young men from town to help fix it." She tells me.

"It's great that she found a way to help."I say cleaning off our small round wooden table.

"I'm going to help too. When its finished I will be heading there after school to help her treat patients."She say's excitedly finishing off the last dishes. "Actually im going to head over there right now I ran into her on my way from school and she asked me to bring a box of supplies she left behind this morning. Do you want to come with me?"

"Actually I would rather wait until its finished, and i better start cleaning my room or else i will never finish." I didn't want to tell her that im actually a bit upset over the fact that they have taken apart our old house. I don't understand how they could throw all our memories away like that. But I decide not to spoil her excitement.

When she leaves i immediately start cleaning my bathroom which is probably all ill be able to finish today since its so filthy. The sink and bath tub are covered in layers of dust which seemed to have glued itself to the ceramic. By the time I finish the tub and sink the sun is already going down which means it must be somewhere around seven. I start right away on the toilet which really isn't that dirty but i decide to take my time scrubbing it down anyways. After I finish I begin to mop the white tile floor which takes a long time because its covered in layers of dried water and dust and even a few small blood stains that must have been from my wild nights of crying and scratching myself in my sleep. It takes a long time but by the time I'm finished it's ten o'clock and my bathroom looks brand new. I quickly change out of my now filthy clothes and put on a pair of silky pajamas. I go downstairs suddenly feeling starving after all the labor ive done. Just as I am looking through the pantry the front door opens and I hear my mother and Prim walk in.

"Mom?" I say shutting the pantry and walking towards the door. She takes one look at me and drops all the bags she was carrying to the floor and pulls me into a tight hug. This time I don't push her away because this time I don't resent her because now I understand how she felt. So this time I squeeze her tighter than ever. When she pulls away she grabs my face and I look into her teary eyes and I know that she understands that I have finally forgiven her.

"Prim told me everything and I want you to know that we will both stand behind you in whatever you need to do to get Peeta back." She say's looking at me right in the eye to let me know how serious she really was.

"Thank you mother." I say pulling her and Prim into a tight embrace.

We stand there in front of the door holding each other so tightly for a while until our stomachs begin to growl. We all laugh and finally pull away from our warm embrace. We pick up the bags off the ground and take them to the kitchen. We look though them and luckily the bread took most of the fall and although it was slightly smushed it avoided the crisp apples from bruising. The cheese which had been sitting right on top was also perfectly fine.

We all sat at the table eating slices of fresh bread smeared with creamy goat cheese and slices of crunchy blood-red apples. We talked about the old times and how much easier it seems now. Because even though we struggled to eat, we never had to worry about anything else but that. We laughed at how easy we always thought this life would be, and we laughed even harder about how much worse it was going to get. Even though it wasn't funny it made me feel so much better. I know if someone walked in and saw us laughing at all these horrible things they would think we were crazy but for some reason I feel more relieved than I have since the games started.

eventually Prim yawns and we all head to our rooms to sleep. I lay in bed and for a while i think of how crazy this all is,and just as I see how impossible it is I see how much that doesn't matter. I would never be able to move on if I don't try. I roll over on my huge bed and lay on my side. I remember those last few night's at the arena that I spent with Peeta and then i can almost feel his arms wrapping around me now. For the first time I have a full undisturbed night sleep.

The next morning I awake at the same time the sun begins to rise its six thirty and I take a shower right away washing all that's left of my pain. I get out and dress in my old hunting clothes. Today i want to go talk to Gale, he and I never talked the way we needed to and i want to fix things between us because I need my best friend back. Once I finish getting ready I walk into Prim's room knowing she will be getting ready for school. I walk in and find her in the bathroom brushing out her hair.

"Good morning little duck." I say walking in behind her and immediately begin braiding her soft blonde hair. " Your room is very nice." This is the first time I have been in her room, and i find it to be very clean and well kept. Her walls, furniture, and carpet are all a crisp clean white, but her bed sheets are a soft pale pink which still gives the room a girlish vibe.

"Thank you." She says patiently waiting for me to finish.

"You have done a lot better at keeping it clean than i have." She giggles.

"I don't want to mess it up. It's so beautiful." She says running her hand along the pink toilet seat cover. Most of her bathroom is pick except for the white ceramic of the sink, toilet and,tub are all white.

"Come on,"I say as I finish her braid a tie a pink bow to the end."I will walk you to school. I'm heading to the woods to look for Gale."

"Actually Gale is probably in the mines today, he started working there soon after you got back."She says lacing up her boots.

"I didn't know..." I say not sure of what to do with my day now. " How have they been eating?" I say suddenly scared for his little brother and sister.

"He hunts on Saturday's its his only free day. He hunts in the morning and in the afternoon he helps mom at our old house. It's the only way she could get him to take our money. They are barely getting by though." She says sadly.

"I'll still go hunting I'll bring them watch I catch maybe it will help." I say as we walk down stairs where I put on my hunting boots that were put away in the closet. Their brand new since I havent left the house since I first came in. We walked hand in hand to her school it was beginning to get very cold which reminded me of the back window that needs to be fixed soon. When we reach her school I give her a big hug.

"Be careful out there"She says giving me a kiss on the cheek.

I make my way to the woods passing through the hob on my way there. People were barely setting up their stands and don't even seem to notice me which im glad for. I pull my hood over my head and walk quickly out of the hob without anyone noticing me. Im not ready for everyone to be so excited to see me again. When I get to the woods it almost feels as though im home again. The air has never been fresher and the sun has never seemed brighter. I grab my old bow and arrows from the hollow log where i hide them and immediately find a fat squirrel as a target. It's been a while so I don't get my usual clean shot through the eye but I still get a good head shot. After a few hours I have a wild turkey, three fat squirrels, and a handful of rabbits. It's barely noon but I already feel as though I have worked all day. My muscles have weakened and my bones are stiff from not being used like this in so long. I start to make my way back to Gale's house cutting through back yards to get there. When i arrive to his small house his mother, Hazelle is there scrubbing clothes.

"Hazelle?" I say approaching her. She turns to me slightly startled that someone had come in through the back instead of the front door.

"Ohh Katniss!" She says throwing her arms around my neck. I hug her back tightly realizing how much I actually missed her. "Its great to see you Katniss how are feeling?"

"I'm feeling much better," I say pulling away from her." and how is Posy and Rory and Vick?"

"There doing... good. They really miss you though. It's too bad they are in school right now, they would love to see you." She says drying off her hands on the apron hanging around her this waste.

"I will have to come back another time to see them." I say sitting on one of the chairs at their table.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" She asks already poring some water in the pot.

"Actually i was just passing through to bring you this," I say placing my game bag on the table and opening it.

"Oh Katniss you didn't have to do that." She says pulling out the turkey.

"I wanted to, really I missed the woods it was nice being able to catch something for someone who can really use it."I say putting my hand on top of her's. "Dont worry im going to help you and Gale."

"Thank you Katniss. Things have gotten a bit harder now that Gale isnt hunting during the week anymore. He has worked so hard..."I can hear the words of guilt in her voice. I stand up and give her another hug.

"Can you tell Gale to meet me in the woods tomorrow? I really need to talk to him."I say pulling away and grabbing my now empty bag.

"Ofcourse. Be careful Katniss." She says giving me a kiss on the cheek. "and thank you so much."

"I will come back tomorrow to see the kids."I say making my way out the front door and into the fresh air. I make my way to the hob, this time ready to see everyone. It felt strange-looking at all the beautiful things and knowing I can afford to buy them. I try to buy something from everyone, and they all seem thrilled to see me. I think my mother had told them what was going on because no one seems to ask why they havent seen me around. By the time i pass through the entire hob i have my game bag once again filled with all kinds of things ribbons, bracelets and candy for Prim. Earings and different fabrics for my mother. I even bought a bottle of white liquor for when I go talk to Haymitch later. Then I reach the bakery I havent spoken to Peeta's parents at all since I got back, and I decide not to tell them of the phone call I received. But I do decide that I need to talk to Peeta's dad to thank him for taking care of Prim while I was away. I walk in slowly afraid of what he might say to me or if he hates me for being alive instead of his son. I walk in and find the baker icing a cake. The moment he sees me he walks over teary eyed and hug's me. It's so unexpected but I hug him back. I can feel his tears running down his face and landing on my shoulder which only makes me also become teary eyed.

"I'm so sorry..." I whisper.

"It's alright Katniss i understand that it's not your fault." He says pulling away.

" May I ask you something?" I say after a brief silence knowing he is a quiet man. He nods not looking me in the eye. "Is it true... what he said about the first day of school?" He once again nods getting teary eyed. We sits on a small bench together for a few minutes and i hold one of his hands on mine while tears silently run down his face. We don't talk even though there is so much I need to say. eventually he stands and wipes away his tears.

"May I buy a few cakes?" I say. He leaves the front of the store and heads to the back without saying a word. He is gone for a few minutes but when he returns he is holding a white iced cake. It's about the size of my head and he holds it out for me to see. On the face of the cake is a very delicately place gold mockingjay identical to the one on my pin. The cake has very intricate designs around the bird and it has to be one of the most beautiful cakes I've seen. I pull out a hand full of coins and lay it on the counter knowing it will be more than enough.

"No" he say's "I made it as a thank you for taking care of my son." He places the cake in a pink box and hands it to me.

"Thank you" I say taking the box and leaving the coins on the counter. I walk home carefully afraid of damaging the beautiful cake. When I get home I see the grounds keeper's wagon is out front but i do not see him so I head inside to kitchen and find that he is already placing in a new window. He doesn't seen to realize I am here so I decide not to disturb him. I Place the cake on the table and head up stairs with my bag. I take out the gifts I bought for my mother and Prim and place them in their rooms, before I head to my filthy room. It's about three o'clock at this point and i decide to immediately clean my room since no one else is home. I was the sheets and clean the dusty furniture, I mop the wooden floors and take out the dirty clothes and trash, and by eight o'clock im done and my room is sparkling. It's a large room with dark wooden floors and furniture. The bed has simple white sheets which are hanging outside drying. My room over all is very simple and somewhat mature.

I head down stairs after a quick shower and find my mother and Prim sitting at the table eating rabbit legs and greens.

"Hello Katniss we got home while you were in the shower. We served you a plate its on the stove." Prim say's.

"Thank you," I say grabbing my plate and sitting at the table with them. "How was school?"

"Good we learned about coal dust. DId you go hunting?"

"Yes I caught a few different animals and I took them to Hazelle." I say taking a bite of greens.

"Yes she told me to once again thank you she really appreciated your help." My mother says. Just then the phone rings. We all stare at each other and after a few seconds I stand up and walk to the phone... I take a deep breath ... and I answer it.

"Hello?" I say my voice soft and shaky.

"Hello Katniss."It was a man who's voice I didn't recognize but sounded somehow familiar.

"May I ask who is speaking?" I say formally knowing the only people who call this phone are from the capital.

"President Snow" He says in a matter of fact tone. As if he and I speak so much. In fact besides the crowning he and i have never spoken before. I only know him from what I've seen on television.

" I'm sure you received a phone call from Peeta yesterday." He says when I don't reply. " and im sure you realized that he is still alive."

"Yes I figured that out, but what I don't understand is why he isn't dead." I say my voice now growing firm even though I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"Well its a long story,but the berry he ate wasn't real and we managed to save him. This is the first time we have done this, and we only did it because we need you to do something for us. If you succeed you and your family and Peeta can all run away and live in the woods and we will never bother you again as long as nobody knows about where you are. Do you understand so far?" He asks.

"Yes. What is it that you want me to do?" I say.

"Its several things but for now i need you to go through your victory tour. I need you to appear happy and better than ever." He says.

"Why is it so important?"

"because the second Rue died rumors of ran uprising have been spread around district eleven. You provided the districts with a spark that, left unattended would grow into an inferno that could destroy us all."He says calmly. " I need to put that spark out. Your reaction to Peeta's death however left an open flame in the capital. Which is even more delicate than the one in the districts. The capital people have always been easier to control since they never had anything to complain for, but seeing your heart-break on national television made them realize how truly terrible the games are which has led them to believe that we are terrible. Are you understanding why this is important to be taken care of right away?."

"Yes I understand." I say emotionless. I don't want him to feel the panic in my voice.

"Good, because I would hate to have to kill Peeta ... He was such a nice kid." He says just before he hangs up.

I hold the phone up to my ear waiting for my body to react. Finally I gain control of my muscles again and i lower the phone to receiver softly.

"Is everything alright Katniss?" I hear my mom call from the kitchen.

"Yes i say everything is fine." I can't tell them about the call without worrying. "It was just Effie Trinket. Letting me know that they have begun to make preparations for the tour and that i need to be ready." I say looking at them in the eyes so that they don't think Im lying.

"Well its a good thing your better now." My mother says holding me my hand across the table. I smile at her and continue eating my food. they both were tired so I told them I would clean up since they cooked. They went to bed and I cleaned the table and washed the dishes quickly. When I was done i grabbed the bottle of white liquor and I put on my boots and jacket and i quietly left and made my way over to Haymitch's house. I didn't knock because the door was unlocked and the light in the kitchen was on. I knew he would be awake because he doesn't like to sleep at night.

"Haymitch?" I say stepping in. The odor of his house made my eyes water,because i wasn't ready. I left the door open hoping it would let some fresh air in. I walk into the kitchen and find him sitting staring out the back window with a bottle in his hand. He turns around when i set the bottle on the table.

"Hey sweetheart long time no see." He says completely drunk.

"Hey Haymitch we need to talk." I say putting water to boil for coffee.

"What do you want?" He says annoyed.

"It's about Peeta..." I say cutting a loaf of stale bread he had on his counter. It reminded me of him and how he said his family only ate bread once it became stale.

"What about him?" He was barely paying attention to me it was making me mad, but i tried pushing my anger to the side as i set the cup of hot coffee in front of him.

"Peeta is alive, he called me yesterday and today i received a phone call from President Snow. He said I need to help him stop the uprisings that are forming in the districts and in the capital. He said if i do this he would let us all run away and that he would never bother us again." The moment i said it he burst out laughing. He laughed so hard tears were running down his face. It infuriated me and i ripped the half empty bottle from his hand but he barely noticed. I was planning on pouring the liquor down the sink but his laughter drove me to the edge. I took the bottle and I threw it at his head. Unfortunately he dodged it and the bottle crashed into the wall behind him and shattered. The liquor left white streaks running down the wall as it cleaned it.

"I'm serious Haymitch! This isn't a joke we have to save Peeta!"I yell at him.

"How can you believe anything they say? Even if it is true and Peeta is alive do you honestly think that they will leave you alone so easily?" He says getting serious.

"It doesn't matter its something to hope for! At least I will have Peeta back..." I look down at the filth covered floor trying to hide my watery eyes.

" I'm sorry Katniss but it's the truth and you need to hear it now before things get worse."

"I know what can happen im not stupid I just really need to try. I can't lose him again... Hearing his voice... It was so beutiful..."I feel him come up to me and lay his hand on my shoulder.

"I will help you with whatever I can. I promise."

"Thank you..." I say before I walk out. Outside snow had begun to fall and the other victors houses had already gathered a thin white coat on top of them. I took my time walking back to my house. I was enjoying the way the breeze dried my tears as I walked. When I reached my house I wasn't ready to go inside yet so I layed down on the cold grass and looked up at the full moon. The sky was covered in dark clouds that made the moon look even brighter in comparison. I could feel the light snow falling on my face ad melting and I was beginning to feel cold, but i stayed because it reminded me of the way Peeta and I would keep each other warm at night. Eventually the cold became mind numbing so I got up and went inside. I took off my boots and coat and made my way upstairs. I stopped by Prim's room and saw that she was fast asleep, I kissed her forehead and pulled the blankets up to her shoulders. When I got to my room I shut the door and took off my now wet clothes. I got in bed in only my under clothes and quickly fell asleep.

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OKay so while I was writing my spel check kept trying to change "Katniss" into "Fatness" I just thought it was funny :P

I deleted my other story it wasn't coming out the way I wanted to so im going to take a couple of weeks to rewrite the chapters and then I will post it again. Im also thinking of writing a twilight fanfic, im probably going to start pretty soon on it but I want to get a few chapters done before I post the first one.

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REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4 Geting help

Ok so heres the next chapter. Sorry is been while but my laptop is being super slow!

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I awoke before the sun started rising. I quickly took a shower and got dressed before I made my way down stairs where I heated tea and filled my bag with food for the day before I made my way out of the house and to the woods. I passed by the empty hob. It felt strange walking through it while it was all quiet. I reached the edge of the woods and the sun was just about to rise. I knew Gale would arrive at any moment so I crawled under the fence and sat under a tree leaning against the trunk. After about five minutes of biting my nails Gale's figure appears just over the fence. When I see him I can't help but smile. He looked just the way I remember him. The second he crawls under the fence he pulls me into a tight hug. We stand there for a while holding each other close. When he finally let's go of me an orange haze has just set in the sky.

"How have you been?" I ask him not wanting to talk to him about anything yet.

"Thing's haven't be easy since I started working in the mines, but we have been good. Your mom really helped by giving me that job." He says as we walk further into the woods.

"I brought breakfast let's eat." I grab his hand and pull him to the boulder were we sat so many days eating and drinking tea waiting for game to come by. I take out the tea and pour some in his flask it's still hot and he blows into it cooling off. I take out the bread, cheese and fruit and he pulls out the blanket in which we wrapped ourselves in so many times. I scoot closer to him and he wraps the blanket around us while I spread the cheese over the bread and hand him a slice. While we eat I find myself leaning more and more into his side. Eventually he wraps his arm around my shoulders and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" He says after a long pause.

"It's about Peeta.." I say.

"Your dead boyfriend?" He says unwrapping his arm from around my shoulder. I immediately feel cold without it.

"He's not my boyfriend...and he's not dead." He turns to look at me with unbelieving eyes.

"He's alive I spoke to him he called me!"

"Are you stupid Katniss? Do you honestly think he's alive?" He gets off the rock leaving the blanket and food behind. "Who are you?! because the Katniss I knew was smart enough to know when she was being played with!"

"I'm sorry if I'm not the Katniss you remember but I changed and I know this is real! I can feel it! I know its crazy and stupid and pointless but im going to get him back no matter what. If you don't want to help me that's fine but I am going to save him even if it kills me!" I yell at him throwing the blanket To the ground when I stand. "But it would be so much better if I had your support. It would mean the world to me Gale! You're the one person that knows me and you know I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know it was real... I could really use your help Gale..." I say tears running down my eyes. I realize then that he was right I did change. I was always this strong person who was always afraid of showing my real feelings and looking weak. But now im an emotional wreck. I am weak.

"I'm sorry but it just doesn't make any sense about why they would keep him alive for you." He say's calming down.

"The president called and he fears there's going to be an uprising in the districts and in the capital and he said if I fix it if I extinguish the flame I left behind then he will let us all disappear and we can do what you said live in the woods."

"There's been uprisings?! That changes everything Katniss we need to help we need to fight back this is our chance to take control to fix all this. We need to stay and help them!"

"There is no uprisings! Not yet at least and I'm not doing anything that would get Peeta killed." I say lowering my voice as I say his name.

"You don't even know him Katniss! You spent your whole life with me in these woods and you never saw me as something other than a good friend or maybe even your brother!But you know him for three weeks and suddenly your going to sacrifice all our freedoms just for him!" He yells at me. I can hear the hurt in his voice as he talks of us.

"It's not just him Gale! He isn't the only one that could get hurt! Do you think that he will stop at killing Peeta! He could kill you and my sister and my mom, and he could leave me here all alone with nothing to do is drown my sorrows with liquor like Haymitch..."

"It doesn't matter he can't hurt us if we all fight!" He say's as if it's the only option.

"Yes he can we don't have anything here! we don't make nuclear weapons and guns. We don't even have enough people! Even if we were to convince everyone to fight we still wouldn't be able to stop them from blowing us all to shreds!" I say exasperated by his ridiculous idea's.

"Have some faith Katniss this is the only chance we have. You should be proud that you had the ability to influence so many people."

"We dont even know if that's true!Do you honestly think the people of the capital will honestly rebel? They live happy care free lives why would they give all that up for problems that don't even effect them!" I say.

"If the president wasn't so worried why would he need you! You need to help Katniss if people were so influenced by something you did self consciously Imagine what you could do if you really try!" He says grabbing me by the shoulders and begging me with his eyes.

"I'm not doing anything until I know you guys are safe" I say pulling myself out of his hand and turning to gather the rest of the food not wanting to waste a single berry.

"Fine do whatever you want but I'm not going to help you destroy our only chance at finally having freedom." He said turning away and leaving into the woods.

"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT!" I yell after him, but he was already gone.

I Make my way through the woods and manage to catch a wild turkey and a fat beaver. I take them and leave to Gale's house to drop them off. Maybe I can even talk to Hazelle about all this and she can help talk some sense into him. He's going to be mad that I did this but it doesn't matter I tell myself. As long as he is safe. When I reach her house it's probably somewhere between eight and nine. She is making some sort of soup for breakfast when I appear at her back door. She wipes her hands on her apron and opens the door for me and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Good morning Katniss how are you? I though you were going to talk to Gale today I figured you two would be gone all day." She says when she let's go.

"That's why I'm here actually." I say pulling the turkey and beaver out of my bag. "We got into a bit of a discussion, and I'm worried about him. I think he is going to do something stupid."  
"What do you mean?" She says taking the turkey and plucking off its feathers.

"I told him that there has been talk of uprisings and now he thinks we should all fight the capital. It's a stupid idea he's not thinking right he's going get himself killed." She nods not looking at me.

"Maybe he's right Katniss." She says serving me a cup of tea.

"What do you mean he's going to get himself killed and you will be left with o one to help the kids go hungry or sick." I say standing up from the chair in which I was sitting. I can't understand why nobody understand's how dangerous and delicate this all is. If they find out that I'm helping them in any way I could get my family killed too.

"I'm not saying its a safe choice, but he is right Katniss we can't just stand by while the world goes into war around us."

"There is no war! nothing has happened yet and I'm going to make sure nothing does! Do you know how many innocent people will die!" I say grabbing my bag getting ready to leave.

"Do you know how many people have already died because of them? How many people have died of hunger... All the innocent kids that died in the games? They all died for nothing and it has to stop. We at least have to try. Maybe we will fail but at least we have put up a fight. My kids can't keep living like this... This isnt life Katniss... this is torture." She say's almost begging me to understand.

"Maybe your right but my job is to take care of my family and by the looks of it both of you are going to do your best to get them both killed." I say leaving her house. I run home not wanting to see anyone else.

When I reach my house I walk in taking off my snow-covered boots and coat. I hear talking coming from the kitchen but it wasn't just my mother and Prim.

"Katniss?" I hear my mother say as I walk towards the kitchen.

"Yes? Is everything alright?" I say walking in and seeing a family crowded around the kitchen table.

"We have a patient right now Katniss you might want to head up to the room." Prim says grabbing my hand and turning me towards the stairs before I see who it is. I didn't recognize the family so I decided to leave and head to my room. I sat at the edge of my bed and looked around not sure what to do now. I sit for a while but I decide to head to the office to find a book to read. I walk in to the room there's a mahogany desk in the center with a big fluffy chair in front of it. The wall behind it is a large book shelf containing several books. On the wall to my left there is the capital seal in the dead center and a small table under it with a bouquet of fresh roses and a white porcelain telephone. On the wall to my right there is a large painting of me and Peeta in the arena. Ive never been in here before and this is the first time I have seen the painting. The painting was from we were still in the cave I was sleeping and the sun was shining in through the cracks and it was glistening on my face and hair. Peeta was sitting next to me staring down at my face and one of his hands was brushing away the hair on my glowing face. Even though we were filthy and way to skinny and Peeta's hand was covered in dried blood the painting couldn't be anymore perfect. I took a step closer to get a better look and that's when I see it. In the bottom left corner the artist had signed his name with soft straight brushstrokes. Peeta Mellark. He had painted this I run my fingers over his brushstrokes. It had to be real. Who else would remember my face so clearly. I've seen other paintings of my self but none of them showed the emotion of my face so clearly as this one. None of them seemed to show who I was or how I felt while I was there. THey showed me fierce and determined I was always shooting an arrow or climbing trees and dodging fire balls. But this photo showed how worried and scarred I truly was. Ofcourse Peeta had painted this because only someone who was in the games could understand because he would have felt the same way. I turn the desk and rotate it so that it faces the painting around it there were small screen shots of us together. We were sitting around the fire roasting squirrels, and sitting by the lake waiting for Cato or even me washing his wounded body. I sit in the fluffy chair staring at the painting and photos. I don't know how long I sit there appreciating the painting but suddenly the phone begins to ring. I turn in the chair and stare at the phone for a minute before I realize it might be Peeta and I jump to pick it up.

"Hello?" I whisper in a soft cautious tone.

"Katniss? Oh it's great to hear from you!" Effie say's in her usual cheerful tone and funny accident's.

"Hello Effie, How are you?" I say trying to sound cheerful to cover up my disappointment.

"Everything is absolutely wonderful dear. I'm just calling to let you know that we will all be there in a week for your victory tour I can only imagine how exciting this must all be for you!" She says genuinely excited.

"I can't wait." I say trying to mimic her tone.

"Well we will be there next thursday at noon your prep team will also be there to prepare you so make sure you are ready for them. Also I sent over a list of hobbies so that you can choose one. It doesn't have to be one of those but it is just to give yu an idea of what you want to do. Usually they require the winner to have their hobby by now but the capital has been very understanding of the state you were in so they allowed you to be a little late. They will require you to be ready to present your hobby by christmas so you will have to make another trip to the capital. I do recommend you know what you want to do by next week so that you can announce it on tour."

"Ok that's fine I will make my decision by then." I say wanting to sound enthusiastic but the most I can do is not sound bored.

"Alright Katniss so I will see you next thursday take care and tell your family I said hello."She say's hanging up not waiting for my response. I set the phone down on the receiver and walk over to the book shelf. There was a lot of books but as I read the titles I find that they are all capital related. I check all of them shelf by shelf but its not until I reach the bottom shelf that I find actual story books. I have read a few of them in school and I heard of others but I did really find any interest in them. I grabbed the Romeo an Juliet book and took it to my room. I knew the story and we learned about Shakespeare but we never really looked into it because it wasn't coal related. In my room there is a bay window seat on the far wall with plush light blue pillows. I take a throw blanket and I sit down on it with my back pressed against the wall. Outside snow has begun to fall and the sun will begin to set in about two hours. I read the book and half way through I begin to drift off until I eventually fall asleep.

When I awake its dark out and im still on the window seat. I sit up and stretch my neck is a bit sore from sleeping at such a weird angle. I get up and check the little clock on my night stand. It's ten O'clock. I take a quick hot shower to soothe my sore muscles and when I'm done I dress in a silky green night-gown. When I step outside my room the house is dark I check my sister and moms room and find them both fast asleep. they must have been very tired. I head to the kitchen and find a plate of food sitting on the counter with a small note next to it. It read ,_ Katniss didn't want to wake you and we were too hungry to wait - love Prim. _I lift the towel that was over the plate and find turkey, potatoes and green salad. I take the plate and grab a fork and sit on the floor in front of the fire. The food is still a little warm and I take my time enjoy my delicious meal. When im done I set the dirty plate in the sink and cut two slices of the beautiful cake the baker had made me. Clearly Prim and my mother already had some because half of it was missing I grab two fork and put on my boots and a thick long jacket and walk across the snow-covered grass to Haymitch's house. I walk right in and find the house dark except for the flickering orange from the fire while he is at the table with a bottle of white liquor.

"I brought you a slice of cake Peeta's father made for me." I say setting a slice in front of him. and sitting in a chair across from him.

"What do you need?" He says ignoring the cake and taking another drink from the bottle.

"I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright." I lie.

"No you don't you want something from me."

"Your right I Need to get Peeta back and I need to know how." I give in taking a small bite of the delicious cake.

"I don't know Katniss I can't help you with this." He say's staring out the window behind me.

"Well you're my only option so you are going to have to try to think of something."

"Well then your screwed!" He say's laughing.

"Haymitch I need you to take this seriously." I say slamming my hand down on the table making the dishes jump and slam down into the table.

"What do you want me to say Katniss! Dont be yourself! There's obviously something about you that speaks of rebellion! Your going to fuel them more no matter how hard you try! Then you expect me to coach you? I'm not exactly what a model citizen should look like!" He yells back.

"Well then your going to have to change because you already let him die once and you can't let it happen again!" I yank the bottle from his grip and slam it down into the sink. It breaks and the liquor floods out.

"I did what I had to do Katniss. I KEPT YOU ALIVE!" He yells grabbing another bottle from under the table.

"I DIDNT ASK YOU TO! YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN HIM! HE SHOULLD HAVE LIVED!" I say grabbing the next bottle out of his hand I rip off the cap and take a long drip from it. It burns going down my throat but the pain keeps the tears that are threatening to escape my eyes. I set the bottle back down on the table and find him staring at me.

"I had to choose one of you. I figured if he died by the river it would be better because you wouldn't have to be stuck killing him."

"Well now is your chance to save him." I say as the heat settles into my stomach I already regret the drink as it burns me from the inside out. I sit back down at the table and we both eat the cake in silence. When I'm done I pick out the broken glass from the sink and put it in the trash can. I grab both of our plates and head to the door.

"Its time for your life to change Haymitch. Ill help you if you help me." He nods yes to me and I leave. I walk back to my house and take off my boots and coat before I set the plates back in the kitchen and head to my room. The second my head touches the pillow I fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

OK here is another chapter!

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The next morning I awoke late and even when I did I layed in bed staring at the ceiling. No one was home today since Prim had school and my mother was still fixing the house. It was around noon when the door bell rung and that's finally when I got up. Gale was working by now so I knew he wasn't here to apologize and Haymitch sleeps during the day so Its obviously not him either. When I answer the door its a peacekeeper. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and holding a large package in his arms.

"These are for you from the capital." He say's handing me the flowers and the package before turning around and leaving. I shut the door behind him and smell the flowers. I didn't recognize them they were strange and in an array of colors but they smelled like the woods. I set them down on the kitchen counter before sitting on the small cushioned seat in front of the fire. Outside it was snowing and opening the door in only my pajamas left me chilled to the bone. After I let the fire reheat my body I opened the package. It was light and seemed to be holding something stiff. I rip off the top and find two letters inside and another squared object wrapped in an orange tissue paper. I rip off the paper and find a portrait inside. Another paining but this one was smaller about a foot long on each side. It was a painting of me looking down at a dyeing Rue in my arms. It brought tears to my arms seeing Rues beautiful face. It was so clear so perfect it felt as though I was actually there. In the painting my tears were running down my face and onto hers. My mouth was slightly open as though I was singing and her eyes were closed. I run my fingers over the name in the bottom right corner. Peeta Mellark. I flip the painting over . On the back in his perfect print was written. **_To my love Katniss._** I quickly grab the letters and find one with his name printed on the envelop stamped shut with the capitals seal. I Rip it open and read the words written in his perfect script.

**_Dear Katniss,_**

**_I want you to know that I love you and that I am alive. I want you to remember that I will never stop loving you and that even though that last week in the arena was filled with pain, I treasure every moment of it. I don't want you to do anything stupid. Protect yourself. I would rather die or live a life of suffering and loneliness than to know that you died for me. I love you and I long for you to be here with me, but nothing is worth loosing you forever. I want you to know I am safe and healthy. My last wish is for you to live a life of happiness._**

**_I will be waiting for your response._**

**_I love you. -Peeta._**

When I'm finished I hold the letter against my heart, and I let the tears run freely down my face. I almost laugh at how he would think I would put my life before his. I wipe always my tears and open the next envelop which has no name written on it but seems to be holding some sort of long thin metal object. Inside it holds to pieces of paper folded and a long pen. I unfold the papers and find that one is blank and the other has one sentence written in a deep red ink.

**Katniss,**

**Don't forget our deal.**

**-Snow**

I quickly drop the sheet of thick paper into the fire and watch it turn to ashes before staring down at the other blank paper. What was I supposed to write? That I love him? I'm not good at expressing my feelings and I want it to be as perfect as his... Just then there is a knock at the door. I stand up and set the letter and painting down on the counter face down. I pull on my coat before answering the door. Its Haymitch. He stands there with snow covered hair and no coat or shoes. He is blue from the cold but he's clutching a letter in his hand.

"You were right." He says his voice shaky from the cold. "He is alive."

"Come in its freezing outside." I say stepping to the side to let him in. I walk him towards the fire where he sits on the floor with his feet inched away from the flame. I put more coal in the fire and put a pot of tea to boil before I sit with him.

"Did you receive a letter from him?" I say warming my hands near the fire.

"Yeah a peacekeeper dropped it off this morning." He says not looking away from the fire.

"What did he say?" I ask him staring at the damp letter in his hand. The ink was smudging and bleeding through so I couldn't make out a single word.

"He wanted to make sure I would protect you. He said to keep you from doing anything stupid that would get you killed." This makes me laugh.

"He said the same thing to me, among other things of course." I say.

"I love you so much Katniss." He says mimicking a teenage girl in love and pursing his lips for a kiss. I laugh and push him away.

"How are we going to save him?" I ask after a few minutes of silence.

"I have been thinking a lot about it... I think the only chance we have is to make the people of the capital and the districts hate you." He says finally.

"What do you mean how am I supposed to do that?" I ask confused by what he means and how that would even help.

"Well right now they look at you as an inspiration or a role model. They all want to be like you and follow in your foot steps because they think your strong and smart an fearless. So you act triumphant and cocky. Rub in the fact that you one and now your rich while they just lost two kids from their districts. Talk about your fake love for Peeta and how much your glad that You lived instead of him. Its not going to be easy since you can barely show them your real personality but it's the our only chance so we are going to at least have to try." He explains.

"So you want me to be cruel and stuck up so that they will hate me and not want to look up to me?" I ask still slightly confused.

"Yes, maybe they wont believe you at first but money does things to people it changes them so if you keep up the act then they will move on and forget about you."

"But what if that only makes them more angry at the capital?"

"Look sweetheart it's the only idea I got if you can think of something better than go ahead but you asked for my help and I'm giving it to you! "He says annoyed. I think but he's right there's nothing else I can think of that wont make them angrier. Even if it does make them hate the capital at least they wont look at me as a leader and none of this will be my fault it will be the capitals fault.

"Ok I'll try I just don't know how I'm going to make it believable. They all saw my reaction to how Peeta died." I say finally.

"Well maybe we will have to get you another boyfriend or an admirer of some sort." I nod. I don't like the idea but my heart aches for Peeta and I cant wait much longer without him. A boyfriend would infuriate the people of the capital who were so fond of me and Peeta that they are now considering leaving there luxurious homes to probably end up somewhere living off the land.

"Ok but your going to have to teach me to be more like you." He laughs probably remembering the last time he tried to help me with my personality.

"Well this time it's not just my life at stake."

"I should probably go get ready now. I want to go ask Hazel if she would clean your house." I say standing up.

"Why?" He asks also standing up.

"Because its disgusting in there and I can't help you if I can't breath." I say laughing.

"Here" He says pulling a handful of coins out of his pocket. "Consider it a deposit." He say's leaving and shutting the door behind him.

I head upstairs and take a hot shower and dress in a long sleeved black sweater and tight black pants I also grab a long black jacket with gloves and knee high leather boots before I head downstairs. I grab some money out of the drawer were we keep it and pore some hot tea into a metal flask before. I make my way outside. Its snowing lightly but there's a strong cold wind blowing. I pull my coat around me tighter and make my way into the city. I hold the flask tightly in my hands letting it warm me before it goes cold and I take a long sip. It burns my tongue and throat but the warmth travels throughout my body and I begin to sweat under my coat while my face feels completely frozen. I make to gale's house and knock on the front door. Its only around one or two o'clock so the kids and gale aren't home but Hazel is. I'm still upset but I'm leaving in less than a week and I don't want to leave things the way they are. She answers the door she looks blue from the cold.

"Hello Katniss come in it's cold outside." She says stepping aside to let me in. I feel strange walking in through the front with all these fancy capital clothes on. Its so warm in her house from her fire that my body can no longer take the heat in my coat but I leave it on not wanting to stay to long anyways.

"I'm here for Haymitch. He needs someone to clean his house for him and I suggested that maybe you would be willing to do it. I warn you though it's absolutely grotesque but he will pay you very well of course. In fact he gave me a deposit." I say pulling out the handful of coins and setting it on her table.

"Of course I will do it. At least I will be able to get out of the house for once." She say's looking longingly at the coins on the table.

"I should get going I need to stop by and grab some food to make lunch for Prim..." I say after an unusually awkward silence since neither of us know what to say now.

"Ok I will stop by tomorrow morning at Haymitch's house." She say's walking me to the door.

"I will make sure he leaves his door open for you, and don't worry about supplies we have plenty at my house. "I Take a look at her trembling body and take off my coat. "Here take this. it will keep you warm on the walk there." I say handing her my coat.

"Oh no Katniss how are you going to get home in this weather you will get sick." She say's handing me back the coat.

"Trust me you will be doing me a favor I'm sweating underneath all this clothes, and this sweater is so thick I will be fine." I say not grabbing the coat from her hand.

"I cant take this from you..."

"Then consider it a loan you can give it back when the weather get's better I have lots of coat's and Im sure Cinna is just itching to send me more." I say opening the door and stepping outside. I realize then how truly cold it is but i just grip my flask tighter and walk out.

"Thank you so much Katniss." She say's before she shuts the door to avoid the cold. I walk to the hob and take a long sip from the flask It's not as hot as it was when I first walked out but it's still warm and heats my body up slightly. The wind is blowing so strong that it almost knocks me down. When I reach the hob I'm out of tea and chilled to the bone. I go over to the bakery to pick up some bread. When I walk in one of Peeta's older brothers was helping another costumer. When she leaves I take a step closer to the counter and he looks at me with sadness in his eyes.

" I just came to grab some loaves of bread.." I say looking down at the counter away from his gaze which was making me uncomfortable.

"What kind?" He say's not looking away from me. I could feel his gaze burning into me.

"Just give me three of everything." I say taking out enough coins. He doesn't say anything else and hands me the bag filled with bread.

"You know it's true." He say's just as I'm leaving out the door. I stop and turn around.

"What was?"

"Everything he said about you and how he felt about you. He always talked of you, and i swear to god he enjoyed eating those squirrels more than anything. "He gives me a small smile." Thank you for protecting him and making his last few days so wonderful" It brings tears to my eyes knowing that while I was pretending he was so sincere.

"He made my days wonderful." I say as I leave. I make a few stops to the butcher and buy some squirrel meat and some vegtables and fruit. I even buy a few bags of candy before I head home. I clutch the bags close to my body to keep warm.

When I reach the house I feel completely frozen I can barely move my arms and legs. I set down the bags and put some tea to heat up before I sit in front of the fire letting it bring my body back to life. Prim walks in just as I get up off the floor. I grab the letter and painting off the table and set it in one of the bags from the food and set it aside. I didn't want her to see it. It was to personal.

"Hey Prim how was school?" I ask as she walks into the kitchen as I serve her and myself a cup of tea.

"It was fine its very cold outside." She says grabbing her cup and sitting on the seat next to the fire.

"I'm just about to make some soup." I say putting a pot of water to boil as I unwrap the squirrel meat and set it inside the pot to cook while I cut the vegetables.

"Do you need any help?" She asks getting off the chair and setting her cup down on the counter.

"No I'm fine you should probably go change before you get sick." I say putting the cut vegetables into the pot. She head's upstairs as I continue cutting. When I'm done I put the lid on the pot ad let it stew. I grab the bag with the letter and painting and take it upstairs to my room. When I come back Prim is setting all the bread on a dish at the center of the table.

"Did anything interesting happen today?" She asks me setting the lip over the bread.

"Haymitch came over and we decided how I'm going to get Peeta back." I say as I explain it all to her. The president's call and our plan and the painting in the office.

"Some one dropped it off yesterday morning while your were out. Mother and I were so occupied though we didn't see it." She says when I ask how they didn't notice it before.

"Well I don't know how I'm going to do it. I can barely express my real personality how am I supposed to fake another." I say.

"Well it's not like you have a choice. Just no matter what you have to do don't forget who you really are." She says checking the soup. I sneak up behind her and just as she sets the lid down I hug her from behind and spin her around. She squeals and giggles until I set her back down. She smiles at me and I smile back at her. I can see in her eyes how much she really missed me.

"C'mon little duck set the table I'm starving." I say giving her a little push toward the table. While I serve two bowls of soup which actually smells really good. I set the bowls down on the table and we both begin eating.

"Why did you buy so much bread." She asks taking out a loaf and slicing it.

"I felt strange and I didn't want to seem demanding or bossy." I say even though now I realize how silly it sounds. We finish eating and I begin to wash the dishes.

"I'm going to head over to our old house to see if mom need's any help." She says putting on a big fluffy white coat and matching gloves. "They made an announcement about a storm that should be here by tomorrow so I want to help her make sure the house will be alright since its still being fixed."

"Okay be careful and hurry back with mom don't stay there to late." I say giving her a kiss on her forehead. When she leave I fill a container with soup and grab a few plastic bags before I head over to Haymitch's house. When I get there the door is open but Haymitch isn't in the kitchen. But I hear running water upstairs so I guess he's in the shower.

"HAYMITCH IM DOWNSTAIR'S" I yell at the bottom of the stairs so that he knows I'm here.

"OKAY." I hear his muffled yell. I set the soup on the counter and begin picking up all the trash off the floor. I know I don't have to but Hazel is going to need all the help she can get. Haymitch walks down the stairs just as I finish I set the bags filled with trash aside.

"You don't smell so bad when you actually shower." I say looking at this freshly shaved face and brushed hair.

"Well I figured you were right it's time to change, but I'm not going to stop drinking so don't even bother asking." I shrug it off knowing he was right. There's only so much I can do.

"I brought you some soup." I say setting it down on the table with a spoon.

"So we better start now we don't have much time. "He say's sitting down and eating the soup.

"I agree so what should we focus on first. " I say sitting in a chair in front of him and sipping a cup of tea that I just brewed.

"Well I made a few calls to some from friends and found that Finnick Odair has a strange interest in you. I don't know why but I think he should be your "boyfriend" his reputation will make you look worse."Finnick Odair was handsome and we one the games at only fourteen years old since then he fools around with rich capital women. He's perfect.

"He's a little old for me though.." I say unsure if I can trust him.

"He is as good as it's going to get."

"Okay how can I talk to him?" I say after considering all of it for a while.

"I already did I asked him to come see me. He agreed he will be here tomorrow morning. He's on a train over here right now."

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ooh Finnick is here I wonder if he will fall inlove hint hint


	6. Chapter 6 Changing

Okay so I know I said I would have this chapter out like yesterday but I had to rewrite because I wasn't happy with it but here it is. YAAAAAAY READ AND REVIEW.

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I was running through a forest panting with sweat running down my neck and forehead. I was trying to run faster but the suit I was wearing was constricting me and it felt as though it was shrinking the faster I went. Suddenly Gale appeared in front of me. He was yelling and pointing in the direction I should go but I couldn't hear a thing. Suddenly i look over to my left and I see Peeta standing there ushering me to come over. I don't know where I should run or why I'm running at all so I stop and turn to look at both of them. Then they walk towards each other and they start to slowly disappear. I'm about to start running again knowing I have to choose one before I loose both of them when something heavy falls on top of me. I fall on my back and I'm pinned down by Finnick who is holding a trident and just as he lifts it to slice my neck open I awake. I'm panting and covered in sweat just as I was in the dream. I get up and run to the bathroom as I feel last nights dinner coming up. I throw up into the toilet until my throat is raw. After I'm sure nothing else will come up I get off the floor and wash my face and brush my teeth. Outside the sun is barely starting to make its appearance and I decide to go back to sleep even though I'm supposed to wake in an hour or so. The second I get back in bed I fall asleep.

I Awake to a loud knocking sound. At first I thought I was dreaming but the knocking persisted. So I opened my eyes and realized someone was knocking on the door. I check the clock and realize it's noon and Finnick was supposed to be here hour's ago. My head was throbbing and my throat was sore. I was sick. Perfect. I jump up besides my throbbing head and I run down stairs. I reach the door and I'm just about to open it when I realize I'm only in my night gown. I quickly pull on Prim's fluffy coat and open the door. Finnick must have been sitting with his back against the door because when I open it he falls back. I can't help but laugh at his surprised face.

"I'm sorry how long have you been waiting?" I say offering my hand to help him up.

"About three hours. Haymitch told me to come to your house because he doesn't wake up early and I tried knocking on his door after you didn't answer, but clearly he was just as asleep as you were. " He says grabbing my hand and picking up his bag off the floor and walking in. I realize then there is a full on storm outside. And Finnicks hand was completely frozen.

"I'm sorry I woke up really early and decided to go back to sleep. I think I got a cold from walking around yesterday without a coat." I say shutting the door and leading him to the kitchen were I start a fire in the chimney and put a pot or tea to boil.

"It's alright. I was beginning to worry. I thought maybe you were passed out or dead." This makes me laugh. He sits in front of the fire. while i grab the bread and two cups of tea and move to sit with him. I hand him a cup which he gladly gulps down besides the fact that its boiling hot. I hand him my cup and grab his to refill it. I feel horrible over the fact that he's been sitting all morning in this freezing weather.

"So why am I here?" He asks after a few minutes of sipping tea and rubbing the warmth back in his body.

" I need your help..." I say unsure of what story to tell him. "I need to do something to upset the people of the capital and those of the districts, and I need your help..." I say deciding to tell him the truth... in moderation.

"Why do you want to do that?" He says confused. " and how am I supposed to help."

"I don't know!" I say exasperated. " My family is being threatened and it's all my fault because apparently I inspired everyone to rebel. So I need to make them hate me and it's going to be impossible!" I say curling up into a ball on the floor and hugging my knees.

"Okay I understand you don't need to explain to me... but I do need to know what I have to do in order to help." He says placing his still cold on my shoulder giving me an awkward pat.

"I need you to be my boyfriend or lover or to at least flirt with me or something. I need to convince everyone that Peeta meant nothing to me. " I laugh at the foolishness of it all. Just weeks ago I was trying to convince everyone that he meant the world to me and now its all a complete mess. He nods at me considering this.

"Okay... I can do it. I will help you." He says rubbing my shoulder.

"Thank you." I say standing up.

"At least your not completely ugly." He says drinking his tea. I kick him lightly with my foot and notice his hair is covered in melting snow.

"Whatever you say frosty the snow man." I say and we both laugh as he shakes with hair and drops of water come falling out. "I'm going to go change and then we can go see if Haymitch is up yet. "I say heading up stairs. I change quickly into a big white fluffy sweater and thick grey pants and new lacy knee high boots made of a fluffy white fabric. I grab a long coat and head downstairs. Finnick has changed and is wear a black coat and pants.

"You look fluffy." He says heading over to the door.

"Shut up and lets go." I pick up the set of keys that have Haymitch's spare and we head outside and over to his house. I realize then that Hazel was supposed to come over this morning but she probably couldn't because of the weather. Even the coat I gave her wouldn't give her enough warmth to get here.

"Brace yourself its not pretty." I say as I unlock the door and step in. The place was just as messing as it was yesterday after I left, but at least some of the smell went away since I picked up all the trash.

"Doesn't he have someone to clean it for him?" He says not hiding the disgust in his voice.

"I don't think he likes having people from the capital in his house. I agree we clean our own house. " I say laughing at his reaction.

" Well the least he could do is take better care of it then." I laugh even harder.

"It was a lot worse but I picked up some of the trash so it doesn't smell as bad as it does now. A friend of mine was supposed to come over today to clean it but she probably got snowed in." I say making my way into the kitchen were Haymitch is passed out. I grab a glass of water and pour it on his head then begin making a cup of coffee. He jumps out of his chair pushing the chair he was sitting on back and knocking it over.  
"Was that really necessary." he says rubbing his eyes and wiping his wet face on his shirt.

"Well It's the easiest way to wake you." I say handing him the cup of coffee.

"Hey Haymitch." Finnick says from his spot leaning on the wall. Haymitch turns suddenly noticing that he's here. I hand him a cup of coffee and sit on a chair at the table to drink mine.

"I explained Finnick of how he needs to help me and he understands and he has agreed." I say looking Haymitch in the eyes to let him know that I didn't tell him everything. He nods and I can see that he understands.

"Good. I think you should come with us on the tour. You can present yourself as her date. It will make it all the more believable." I nod and look over at Finnick who is now sitting on the counter. He looks at me and shrugs.

"It's not like I got anything better to do." He say's sipping his coffee.

"What about my talent I need something girly but it has to be something I can actually do." I say biting my nails. I don't have any talents. I hunt but I don't think that's a good option since I'm trying to appear like I play by the rules.

"How about dancing?" Finnick offers. I almost laugh at the thought.

"Not in a million years. " I say.

"How about singing you sung to Rue in the games and you weren't that bad it was actually kind of nice." He say's trying again.

"No that's to personal and it will only remind them of Rue." I say. Singing to me is special something I enjoyed with my father its filled with memories and the capital can't take that away too.

"What about modeling its about as girly and flirty as you can get. It's the complete opposite of who you are." He says.

"Yeah right! Like I could pull that off, the only pictures I have ever taken in my life were because of the games." I say laughing its so absurd.

"No it's good he's right it's something that you don't need to do in public it's private just you and a camera. Your pretty good at hiding your emotions and that's all you will need to do." Haymitch says. Maybe he is right. I don't need to know a lot to model right? I just smile and wear nice clothes or something. Anything else would involve creativity and practice. I know how to smile and I can be patient enough.

"Okay." I say after a few minutes of consideration.

"Alright so now we just need to work on making your new personality believable." He says finishing his coffee.

"What do I need to do first?" I say taking a deep breath and preparing myself.

"We should fix her speeches. rehearse them that way you know exactly what to say. It will make it easier." Finnick suggests.

"Okay so District Eleven is my first stop and I think they are showing the most signs of rebellion. So we will need to focus a lot on what you are going to say. It has to be selfish but not cruel we don't want them to get suspicious you just talk about your self and the capital tell them how unbelievably amazing it is and how much you appreciated the games and the wealth that came with winning." Haymitch says.

"Talk about how you recommend more people to volunteer for the games!" Finnick says excitedly.

"My problem isn't what I'm going to say I can repeat word for word what you guys are talking about but that's not an issue. The issues is making it sound like it's true and it isn't." I say.

"Well lets try. tell us how much you love the capital and how you think the games are so amazing. Say that they were a dream come true." Finnick say's. I take a deep breath trying to figure out how I need to come off.

"The capital is just great. It's so beautiful. It's magical. "I say putting on my winning smile. But I know as the words leave my mouth that it sucks.

"That was awful not only were you unbelievably but you could tell how hard your trying." Finnick say's and I know he's right. "Try sounding flirty flip your hair and bat your eyelashes. Tilt your head up a little and run your hands through you hair. Don't make eye contact with anyone. Talk slowly."

"I love the capital." I say slowly flipping my hair over my shoulder in slow movements. " It couldn't be more amazing." I giggle a little and tilt my head up a little. " The money I received from winning the games has made my life unbelievably" I say exaggerating the word unbelievably by closing my eyes and throwing my head back." luxurious and I couldn't be more thankful!" I say excitedly throwing my head back and giving a small laugh. I bend over slightly and look them both through my lashes. "My life couldn't be more amazing at this point." I give a soft sigh and shrug my shoulders a little. "Ofcourse I was sad when Peeta died but I found someone who has made me realize that Peeta wasn't the only guy that could make me happy." I bite my lip a little and look down pretending to be modest." I'm sure if he saw me now he would see that him sacrificing himself was really truly worth it." I say giving a soft smile and tilting my head to the side a little. I gave it my all and if I didn't pull it off then there is nothing left for me to do.

"Well well well sweetheart that was actually not that bad." He says shrugging it off but I can see in his eyes that he honestly thinks I might be able to pull it off.

"Haymitch is right it has potential. We just need to make your speech the longer and for each district change it slightly." He says nodding at me impressed. I can't help the fact that I'm happy. We just might get him back.

We spend the next three days preparing my speeches for each district. I rehearse them all and by the end of the day three I have twelve perfect speeches, and my acting is almost flawless. It took time and practice but I was determined to get Peeta back. My week goes by so fast and before I know it I'm taking a hot bath waiting for my stylist to come in and prepare. I hate that I'm going to have to pretend in front of them to. I can't tell them the truth of course and I don't want them spreading rumors about how truly different I am behind the cameras. Cinna though it took a lot of convincing Haymitch but I finally got him to agree that I'm going to need His help to make sure my outfits go with my new personality. I have yet to tell him and I made a deal with Haymitch that I wont tell him why I need to do this but I know he will understand that it has to do with the capital. I'm soaking in the water using a loofah to scrub away at my skin when I hear a knock at my door.

"Katniss your stylists are here they are on there way up." My mother says. I told her and my sister not to believe anything they hear or see me do on tv and they promised they would follow along. I quickly wash off the soap and dry myself off. I wait naked for them with my hair dripping small drops of water down my back. They walk in without knocking. It's been so long since I have seen them and I almost forgot how ridiculous they look.

"Oh Katniss!" They squeal pulling me into a hug It's uncomfortable since I'm naked and there outfits scratch me but I let them.

"I have missed you all so much! My hair and nails miss your care." I lie sadly. I have stopped biting my nails and i have taken better care of my skin. I need to make it believable that I care about my looks if want to pull off the whole modeling thing.

"Well don't you worry about a thing sweetheart we will have you looking fabulous soon enough." They say handing me a fluffy rob to wrap around me. I sit in the chair they bring in and they quickly get to work.

"So how have you been dealing with your loss of Peeta. It's all anyone in the capital has been talking about they are all truly heart broken." Octavia asks as she works on putting fake nails on me. Let the show begin I think before I begin my act.

"Well of course I was heart broken over everything that happened...but I got over it. I realized I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life mourning over some guy I knew for less than a month! I know Peeta wouldn't want that and he didn't give up his life for me to watch me throw it all away!" I say giving a small laugh. "Of course he will always have a special spot in my heart reserved just for him and I will never forget what he did for me... but I have met someone new and he has helped me realize how truly fabulous this life can be if I know how to live it right." Its a lot harder pulling it off without the use off my body but by there stunned looks I know I have manage to still keep it believable even though I only imagine I twill take a lot more convincing.

"well... that's great we are all very happy for you.." Flavius says as he trims away at the ends of my hair. He sounds unsure and confused.

"Aren't you going to ask me who he is!" I say laughing slightly after a few minutes of silence.

"Of course who is it?" Venia asks plucking away at my eye brows.

I take a deep breath. "Finnick Odair! It's not official so don't go around telling everyone." I say knowing they will. "We have only just talked and he is actually coming on the tour with me, and I really like him.." I say giggling.

"Wow. We would have never seen it coming he is just so different..." Flavius says after a minute of silence.

"I know what your thinking he is the complete opposite of Peeta but that's what I love about him! He makes me feel different and I love how much he has taught me. I think he might be the one!" I say acting like the girls I over hear at school.

"In that case we are happy for you." Octavia says painting my nails and giving me a smile. They finish working on me without saying another word but I'm determined to keep up the act by saying silly little comments to them like "don't cut my hair to short finnick likes it long' or 'make my makeup look natural and mature I don't want him to think of me as to young!' By the time they finnish I can tell there completely confused but I'm surprised to see that they don't like me more now that I'm more like them. When Cinna comes in and dismisses them I wait until they are completely gone and the door shuts behind them before I throw my self into his arm's.

"I have missed you so much!" I say when I finally let go.

"Well you could always call me!" He says pulling out an outfit from a large garment bag.

"I have so much I want to tell you." I say before I begin to explain what an awful person I have to pretend to be in front of everyone. When he asks me why I simply say how much I wish I could tell him but I don't want him getting hurt. He dresses me and doesn't say much but that he will do everything he can to help me and by the time I'm done explaining to him my fears and worries. I'm dressed and my hair is done big and wavy. My outfit is tight and black it hugs my body in a way that exaggerates my figure, which is hard since I have to layer so much to keep worm in the freezing weather outside. When I look in the mirror I don't see myself. I see a mature flirty girl. I see the girl that is about to make the world hate her in order to get one man back. I take a deep breath and give Cinna a big hug. He kisses me on the cheek and whispers in my ear that nothing I say or do will ever make him think less of me... he will always see me as the scarred yet fierce girl he met months ago.

I step down stairs and find my sister and mother dressed nicely as well. They smile sadly at me knowing how difficult it will all be.

"How do I look?" I say excitedly giving them a little twirl since my team is sitting at the table sipping tea and nibbling on bakery cookies.

"Beautiful." Prim say's smiling brightly at me and pulling me into a hug. " Don't forget who you are." She whispers.

" I love you both so much!" I say pulling my mother into our hug.

"Cmon Katniss he crowd awaits!" Effie says. I give them both a kiss on the cheek before I head to the door. Were a team of camera men wait for me outside. I take a deep breath and take one last look at my precious little sister before I step out side into the flashing lights. I'm blinded by all the lights as I step out of the house but I smile brightly knowing I'm being broadcasted. I see Haymitch and Finnick Standing off to the side and I walk over to them. Finnick puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek. I look down as if to hide my embarrassment but its really to hide my anger. We discussed this we would share one public kiss and it wasn't going to be until the capital. I haven't even had the chance to explain all this to Peeta and now he's probably watching me now! I playfully push him away a little to talk to the interviewer. She asks me questions about my new life and my relationship. I tell her how great it all is and she buys it then I switch he conversation to my decision to make modeling as my new talent.. Finally we make to the train and I can somewhat relax. My cheeks are numb from all the smiling and fake laughing. I take off my coat which suddenly feels to tight and I throw myself on the couch to relax.

"You were great sweetheart keep it up." Haymitch says disappearing into his room. Finnick comes to sit next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder again. Since my crew and Effie are still here and the act never stops from now on.

"I'm sorry about the kiss. I know that's not what we discussed..." He whispers in my ear. I giggle like what he's saying delights me.

"Okay lets go eat I'm starving." I say standing up and sitting at the table. He sits next to me but all I can think of is Peeta. What he thinks of me now that I'm doing this. Does he understand what I'm trying to do. I would like to think he knows me well enough to understand what I'm doing but the truth is we only knew each other for a few weeks. Even if he does know what I'm doing does he think its disgraceful? Is he disgusted of the person I'm pretending to be because I sure am.

"Are you excited about seeing all the districts?" Effie asks me as we eat my favorite lamb stew. It's delicious but it feels thick going down my throat and I have to drink half a glass of my water to finally get it to go down.

"Oh yes I couldn't be more thrilled!" I say taking a large mouth to avoid talking further. Suddenly for the first time I realize how I must look to everyone that actually know me. Everyone is watching me. Gale and Hazel... Greasy Sae they all must look at me and see a real spoiled brat. Suddenly I'm ashamed of this even though I know I have to do this for Peeta I'm disgusted in myself. In this person I have begun. Not just who I'm pretending to be but this hopeless romantic who is risking loosing the respect of all the people she grew up with for one man. No I am not doing this to have him for him to be my boyfriend. I'm doing this because he is my friend and his family deserves to see him again, because he is such a sweet caring person. That's why I need to do this...

"Katniss is everything alright?"Octavia asks me. I geuss I spaced out.

"Yeah I'm fine I was just thinking of what kind of weather District Eleven will have, I need to know what kind of outfit I should wear. I say smiling. That's all it takes for me to say for them to go rambling off. I try to pay attention but I can't help wondering were Peeta is. He's waiting for my letter. He's waiting for an explanation.

"I'm sorry but I'm full may I be excused I want to take long hot bath." I say standing up and placing my napkin on the table.

"Ofcourse everything you need is in your room right down that hall way on the left." Effie tells me.

"Thank you." I say to her. " Ill talk to you later?" I say to Finnick running my hand through the hair on the back of his head.

"Of course I will be waiting." He say's smiling up at me. By the awkward silence that fills the room I know that I'm doing my job right. They aren't comfortable with my so called relationship. I head off to my room and find the small bag of personal belongings that I got to bring with me. I take out the sheet of paper and pen they had sent me and I sit on the bathroom floor with the water running. What do I say? I know what I want to say but how do I say it? How do I express how desperate I am to get him back? Or how much I long to be in his arm's again. I don't know how to say it. I don't even think I would be able to say it to him in person let alone in a letter. But he's waiting for me to explain to reply... I have to do this it's not something I can just push aside who knows how long it will be until I get to see him again. Maybe not until after the Quarter Quell. The President said we could run away that I would get him back but he didn't say when. The thought of this only makes my need to write this letter more important. So I decide to write the words as they come out no matter how terrible they sound it will be better than nothing and I will never be able to get it perfect anyways so I might as well get it over with.

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_Dear Peeta,_

_I don't really know what to_ say._ I'm not good with words like you are. I want you to know that I'm sorry for everything that you are going through. I don't want you to believe anything you might see on the television. Haymitch is helping me out, I'm trying to make the districts hate me so that they wont look up to me as a role model . I don't know if it will work but it's too late to back down now. I wish you were here, things would be so much easier if I had you here. Finnick knows he's helping me out. He doesn't know why I'm doing this I haven't told him but he understands. I think maybe something similar happened to him. Whatever the reason that he is doing this I appreciate it. I hope you understand that I'm doing this for you, but not just for you for your family. They need you. About a week and a half ago I went into the bakery for the first time. Your father he made me a cake. I wish you could have seen it, it was so beautiful. It was a gold mockingjay on it. It was delicious. I also saw one of your brothers the oldest one - I wish I knew his name - he told me that everything you said was true. About the first time you saw me and how you had feelings for me since then. I wish I had payed more attention to you. Truth is i didn't really know you until that day with the bread. I know it must seem silly to you but you gave me something no other gift has given me. You gave me hope. After that I wanted to say something to you but it always seemed like it meant nothing to you, and I don't know I guess I was embarrassed. I regret not talking to you then when I had the chance. Maybe things would have turned out different if I had. Maybe it would have only made things worse. I don't know. Things haven't been easy. I miss you. It's pathetic really. I only knew for such a short time and the truth is I don't know that much about you at all. I want to know more about you and I can't wait for the day that I can really get to know everything about you. Until then don't worry about me. I'm fine, I'm untouchable for now. The districts and capital know me so well I can't be killed. You on the other hand are technically dead. Please be careful. Wherever you are take care don't YOU do anything stupid. Don't make all that I'm doing a waste of time if your trying to get yourself killed._

_I love you Peeta - Katniss._

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My tears had dripped on the paper and its a bit smudged in some places, and I know my letter isn't great and I didn't get to say all that I wanted to say but I ran out of room. I look at the letter. My words are a bit scribbled because I couldn't manage to control the shaking in my hand, but I think that will show Peeta that it isn't a fake becuase it's imperfect. I fold the letter delicately and put it in the envelope that it came in. Then I get an idea. I pull out a candle and a match that had been sitting on the counter and I melt the candle and drip the melted wax on the envelope and press my mockingjay pin on it, and its perfect. I set it aside and wipe off the wax on my pin when I realize I can't wear it in public anymore. It can be mistaken as a rebellion. I will need a new token... I push my thoughts aside and get into the now cold bathtub. The cold water although uncomfortable it reminds me of home. where the only warm water we ever had had to be boiled. I wash the makeup, hair products and scents off my body in the cold water. I dry off and stare at myself in the mirror. I brush my hair never looking away from my face I braid my hair and try to get a good look at myself. This is how I want to remember myself, this is who I have always been. I unbraid it and leave it down. I dress in green silky pajamas and hide my letter and pin in a pocket in my bag. I step out of my room and find Finnick and Cinna talking on the couch drinking tea. The moment I step in the room they grow silent.

"Hey what's going on?" I ask sitting next to Cinna who begins rebraiding my hair.

"Nothing just talking." He says.

"About?" I ask unsure why they are being so discreet.

"Just talking about home." Finnick answers handing me a cup of tea.

"Okay." I say letting it go. We drink our tea in silence for a minute before Cinna stands.

"I'm going to bed we have a big day tomorrow. Don't stay up to late. " He say's kissing my forehead. Finnick and I remain quiet for a moment.

"We should probably get to bed." I say standing up. I didn't know what to say to him and I didn't want to risk anyone over hearing us.

"Yeah we should... can i have a goodnight hug?" He asks before pulling me into a tight embrace not waiting for my answer at first I'm stunned but I give him a light pat on his back unsure what else to do.

"I have an idea leave your door unlocked tonight." He whispers in my ears before pulling away and disappearing down a hallway that must lead to his room. I don't know why but I listen to him and leave my door unlocked before I crawl into bed and fall asleep.

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Ok so I have a bit of a dilemma. In the book it never say's Peeta's brother's name's and I plan to make on of them very important in the future so if you have an name ideas put tem In a review it all so much easier. Also I don't know if I am comfortable with how this chapter came out so lt me know if I need to rewrite it cause it sucked.

-Love Marely.


	7. Chapter 7 Disrict Eleven

Okay here is another chapter! Thanks for all the reviews and support.!

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I awake to a lot of noise and rustling outside my door. I hear the faint voice of a man apologizing before opening my bedroom door. It's Finnick he looks at me and I pull the blanket up to my neck startled by his appearance.

"Are you awake? " He whispers as he makes his way over to sit at the edge of my bed.

"I am now." I say sitting up and rubbing my eyes. " What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" I whisper.

"Yeah I managed to wake up one of your stylists on the way here I think it was the one with green skin. She seemed so startled I get by the time we reach District Eleven the whole capital will be spreading around the rumor" He says laughing softly. Before he see's the look on my face. " I'm sorry. I guess I should have asked you first before I gave off such a rash impression of what's going on between us." He say's suddenly not so sure of himself.

"It's alright..." I sigh after a minute of consideration. This is what he is here to do. " I was just taken by surprise. Next time just let me know. It was a good idea." I say reminded by how mad I was with Peeta when he told the world he was in love with me.

"Okay" He says crawling into the bed next to me and laying down over the covers.

"What are you doing!" I say.

"I'm going to sleep I can't leave now I have to sneak out in the morning when some one wakes up." He says rolling over onto his side to face away with me. The bed was big enough to the point where I could extend my arms fully and still not reach him but I scoot over to the edge of the bed and turn my back to him. I lay there for a while tracing circles on the red sheets. It appeared to be some time around midnight and I was tired but the longer it took for me to fall asleep the more I began thinking of what Peeta and everyone from my District will think if they hear that Finnick snuck into my room. I begin to cry when I think of Prim hearing all this about me. She knows it's not true but what kind of impression am I making on her. I finally cry myself to sleep.

I was walking on desert sand with hot sun beating down on my face making sweat run down my neck and forehead. There was nothing around me except for big boulders that were twice my size. I look around desperately for something or someone anyone but there is no one. I feel my tongue begin to crack and my bones become so weak to the point were I finally fall to the ground face down. I lay there unable to stand or move until suddenly I'm flipped over onto my back. I look up but nothings there. Suddenly President snow appears dripping with blood he lunges on top of me and just as he is about to rip off my throat with his teeth I awake to some one shaking me.

"Hey Katniss are you alright?" Its Finnick I look at his face that illuminated with an orange glow from the rising sun. I shake my head head.

"I'm fine it was just a nightmare." I say standing up and washing away the tears from my face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks sitting on the bed watching me.

"No I'm fine." I say heading back to bed. SUddenly I notice a red mark on the side of his face. "What happened to your face." I say laying down but not feeling tired.

"You pushed me off the bed and when I tried waking you up you smacked me right across the face." He says laughing slightly.

"I'm sorry." I say laughing at the sight of his not so pretty face.

"It's ok. I understand I had a lot of nightmares after my games too. " He say's laying down next to me. He sits a little close for comfort. I'm about to scoot away when I realize I'm already at the edge of the bed.

"What did you do?" I ask.

"Nothing..." He say's after a while.

"Did they ever go away?" I ask not satisfied with his answer.

"Not fully but I learned not to let them bother me, and I began to have them less and less often and now they are rare but when I have them there ten times worse. It's as if they build up.

"Good thing I didn't kill as many people as you I say taking a sip of water off my bedside table. "So maybe I wont be as worse off as you." This makes him laugh.

"Oh please!" He laughs. "You killed just as many people as I did!"

" I did not! If you think about it I technically only killed one person! The guy that killed Rue." I say matter of factly.

"What about the two girls you killed by dropping the trackerjacker nest on them."

"That was to escape and I had no idea they would die it was unintentional the only thing I was thinking of was escaping!" I say defensively.

"What about Cato I'm pretty sure you shot to kill." He says refusing to let me off that easily.

"I did it out of mercy! There was no saving him now and you know it he would have had a long suffering death."

"WHat about that red-headed girl." He say's not giving up but he knows my list isn't long and most were accidental.

"Technically Peeta killed her and not even because she killed herself when she stole our poisoned food." I say laughing at Peeta's deadly ignorance.

"Well I fought in defense too!" He say's knowing he lost this battle.

"You fought to kill. You hunted every last tribute the second that trident landed in your hands. Those nets you set up were not accidental." I say but the moment I say it I know I pushed to far because I can see his face drop in realization. "Hey I didn't mean it like that." I say grabbing one of his hands in both of mine. "You did it to survive the same way we all did those things. To survive. It's not your fault and you know it." I say nudging him.

"I know I just guess I never realized how lethal I must have looked to everyone else." He says.

"Hey not everyone just to me. Everyone else was to busy admiring your pretty face." I say nudging him with my shoulder playfully.

"Oh please! Theres a reason you picked me to help you. because you couldn't wait to trick me into getting in your bed." I want to say we chose him because he will get with anyone and dump them after they shower him in money and gifts, but I hold my tongue. Knowing It would push him over the edge again.

"Well it certainly wasn't for your intelligence." I say playfully instead. He just laughs. We lay with his hand still in mine staring at the ceiling. I never thought he and I could be friends but im beginning to realize that he is actually not as bad as they made him seem. Suddenly there's a knock at the door silently he takes off his shirt and tosses it across the room and pulls my head to his chest. We both close our eyes and pretend to be asleep.

"Katniss!" I hear Effie say as she cracks open the door. She makes a small gasp then clears her throat and steps in. "Katniss!" She says with a stronger voice. "It's time to wake up! You have a big day today! Breakfast is served meet us in the dining room."She says before stepping out of the room. I quickly get off his chest feeling uncomfortable.

"Alright I will see you for breakfast." I say getting out of bed entirely and walking into the bathroom shutting the door behind me.

When I walk into the dining room Finnick has saved the seat next to him. I take the seat and he wraps his arm around my shoulders and gives me a kiss on the cheek as I'm served a heaping plate of eggs, potatoes, and rolls and at the center of the table there was fruit on ice to keep it cold. I grab a roll and rip chunks off it and dip it in my hot chocolate the way I remember Peeta eating it. I need to send out my letter to Peeta but I don't know how and I know now more than ever Peeta is waiting for my reply. Suddenly Finnicks arm around me feels like it weighs a ton. I wiggle slightly and he lifts it off my shoulders and we eat.

"What time will we be getting to district eleven?" I ask since no one else felt like talking. I could tell that my stylists were too tired to talk but Cinna and Effie appeared to be wide awake. Haymitch on the other hand was no where to be found.

"In just two hours we are supposed to arrive so eat with haste." She says pulling out a folder filled with what I assume to be our schedule. After we finish I'm rushed to take a quick shower, and just as I am stepping out there is a sudden jolt as the train come to a stop. It is so sudden I lose my balance and slip on the wet floor landing on my back. The pain is so blinding as I hit my head on the hard floor. I hear someone knocking on the door as I try to stand but my head is spinning and I can only manage a moan.

"Katniss!" I hear someone ask as they pick me up off the floor. I than feel a whole bunch of yelling as I am being set down on something soft which I assume to be my bed. I can hear people fussing over me. The last thing I remember is Finnick lifting my head and a pain shoots down my neck and body so strong I pass out.

When I awake my head is throbbing and I'm laying on a bed which appears to be the same as the one on the train. I lift my hand and find that my head is bandaged up. Finnick walks in carrying a bowl of broth and some fruit.

"What happened?" I ask confused.

"The engine on the train broke down and we stopped. The stop knocked you down and you hit your head on the floor. The doctor on the train said you were fine despite the bump on your head. The train is being fixed as we speak but we wont arrive in District eleven until tomorrow." He says sitting in a chair beside the bed.

"My head hurts." I whine like a small child.

"I know would you like me to get you some ice?" He asks standing up to cover my feet with the blanket.

"Yes but why don't you get someone else to do it you dont need to take care of me."

"I actually told everyone to leave. I should be the one to take care of you. Peeta would have." He says already heading out the door. When he comes back he sets a cloth filled with ice on my head and I relax as some of the pain fades away.

"You are really taking this whole thing so seriously." I say as he feeds me spoonfuls of broth.

"I want your family to be safe." He says softly. "You dont deserve what has happened to you."He says feeding me another spoonful.

"Why are you doing this? I told myself I wouldn't ask but I need to know."

"I lost my family." He says simply. "I know how important they are." I let it drop knowing whatever happened to his family must have been awful. It doesn't matter how it happened, I am just happy to known that he is doing this sincerely.

"Thank you." I say grabbing his hand and squeezing it." Not many people would have done what your doing and you really have taken it to the next level. I am so happy to have you on my side." I say and kiss the back of his hand before letting go and opening my mouth for another spoonful.

"Well I'm glad you trust me. Dont worry I will do anything to help." He laughs feeding me the last spoonful of broth.

"Well since you offered can I get some honey to go with my fruit?" He just laughs and disappears to get the honey. While I wait one of the many people from the capital come in.

"I was told to retrieve a letter from you." He says standing patiently by the door.

"Ofcourse!" I say completely forgetting and jumping up to get my bag off the floor and take out the envelope. I hand it to him and he just nods and leaves. My head is throbbing and I feel so dizzy but I lay in bed as if nothing happened and wait for Finnick. When he comes back with a small pot that must be filled with honey I realize the drapes are pulled over the windows and I dont see any light.

"What time is it?" I ask as he pours some honey on the fruit and feeds it to me.

"About ten o'clock." He says. "Everyone else ate but since it got late and you didn't wake up the doctor said I should awake you so that you can eat but when I got here you were already awake."

"So I was sleeping the whole day?" I ask as he sticks a cube of melon covered in honey in my mouth.

"Yea the only problem is, you are going to be up all night and you are going to keep me up with you." He laughs.

"Actually I feel rather tired Already." I say as I finish off the last strawberry.

"Alright then lets tuck you in." He say's helping me scoot dont on the bed and he tucks the covers around me like a little kid. "Goodnight." He say's making his way to the door.

"Wait." I say just as he is about to close the door behind him.

"Do you need something." Truth is I don't know why I called him. Then I realize I don't want to sleep alone. Would it be inappropriate to ask him to say. I consider this. Gale had never slept with me but I never needed him to. Peeta slept with me but that was under different circumstances. Then I realize he and I also share similar circumstances.

"Maybe you should stay..." I say hesitantly.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asks stepping in the room.

"Well they would believe it more if they thought you were sleeping with me to take care of me." I say, but then I realize i don't need to lie he would understand. " I don't feel like staying alone tonight." I say finally letting it out.

"Okay..." he says giving me a small smile. "I'll just go drop off the tray and change. I'll be right back." I wait for him and realize what Peeta would think of this. He shouldn't think anything of it. Finnick has become my friend. He is protecting me and my family. When Finnick walks in he is wearing pajamas identical to the dark red ones I was wearing. They were thin and silky and kept me very cool. He comes over to me and take off the bag of melted ice off my head and set's it in the bathroom sink before he crawls under the covers next to me.

"If you wanted me to sleep with me you could have just asked." He say's in his seductive voice.

"Shut up don't make me regret it." I say. He just laughs.

"Why do you want me here?"

"I don't know I feel far away from home. From my family. I have felt lonely ever since I won the games... and my sister was the one that gave me comfort but she is not here. You turned out to not be such bad company as I though you would." I say a minute of considering why I did want him here.

"Well I'm glad you feel comfortable around me. I admire what you did. Saving your sister like that. Not many people would volunteer as willingly as you did." He says.

"I spent the past five years protecting her, feeding her, making sure she didn't suffer the way I did. I wasn't going to stop then. She's the sweetest person I have ever met. Anyone that meets her falls in love with her. She's the opposite of me. The world should have more people like her and I wasnt going to let her get killed. She wouldn't have made it out of the Cornucopia." I say smiling at the thought of my sweet little sister.

"How did you do it? How did you win? Your district always dies off within a matter of days. Why didn't you?"

"I think it has to do with the fact that all the other District's begin working so young and ours doesn't start until we reach the age of eighteen. We would learn so many helpful things if we worked at a younger age."

"How did you do it? It was so effortless for you." He says.

"My father died about five year's ago. He was killed in a mine explosion. My mom she became paralyzed with depression. She didn't do anything while me and Prim to slowly starve to death. I had to step up. I began to go hunting in the woods. My father showed me how but I had never killed anything without his help. At first I was scarred to go more then a few yards away from the fence, but I was determined to feed my little sister. Eventually i took out my first rabbit and before i knew it I was taking down dozens of squirrels and rabbits and fish. I met my friend gale an he showed me how to set up snares and I showed him how to hunt with a bow and arrow. Together we took down even deers we began to catch so much we began selling anything we wouldnt eat. We learned tricks too Peeta's father the baker loved squirrels and the mayor enjoyed fresh strawberries and now it all comes so naturally. When he came to see me after the reaping he told me I could win that I knew how to hunt that I had real practice. I told him these were different animals they could fight back. He said 'How different can it be, really' and it wasnt till I really took down the boy from District one that I realized he was right." I say telling him of all the things I should keep secret things that should get me killed, but I trust him to keep my secret.

"You had a hard life." He says after a moment of silence as he considered all U had just told him.

"Maybe but I'm almost grateful for it. If I hadn't gone through all that I would be dead at this point."I say realizing for the first time how true it all is.

"Like Peeta..." He says hesitantly.

"Yeah just like him..." I say thinking how wrong he is. How strong Peeta really is.

"Did you really love him? Were all those things that happened in the arena true?"

"At first they weren't. We weren't even friends before all this began. I cared for him I didn't want to loose him and I knew no matter what he would always be part of my life, but it wasn't until i lost him that I realized how much I needed him. How much I grew to love him. He is like Prim... anyone that meets him can't help but to love him..." I say smiling.

"Do you miss him?" He asks after a long pause. I think about him. How much I wish he was here to just give me a hug... I would give anything to see him smile one more time.

"Ofcourse." I say simply.

"I'm sorry this happened to you." He say's back and I can tell he means it.

"Don't worry it will all get better." I say before closing my eyes. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Katniss." He says before we both drift off to sleep.

We awake to another jolt of the train. Finnick snaps up and grabs me making sure I don't do anymore damage to my head, but all that happens is I get dizzy from the sudden movement.

"Are you alright?" He asks after making sure my bandage is still in place.

"I'm fine just a little dizzy. What do you think happened?" I say as he helps me sit up to drink some water.

"I don't know." HE says standing up and walking over to the window. When he lifts the curtain to look outside I can tell it's still night. "WE aren't in District Eleven yet and it doesn't look like we are in the same spot as yesterday so the train must have broke down again after they got it working."He says as he closes the curtains and the room goes dark again. He turns the light on from the night stand. "How is your head feeling?" He asks kneeling down beside me.

"Better but it feels sore and it kind of hurts." I reply. The truth is my head is more than sore but I can tell its nothing serious so I don't want to worry him.

"Do you want me to get you some medicine for the pain?" He asks standing up and already heading towards the door.

"Yes please." I say slowly sitting up.

He comes back after a few minutes holding a few pills in the palm of his hand a new glass of water. He stands over me as I take the pills and drink the glass of water before he lays back down next to me. We both try to go back to sleep but the train makes repeated jerks before finally speeding down the track at normal pace. By then we are already fully awake. Effie knocks on the door and Finnick scoots closer to me before letting her in. She walks in in a silly night-gown that is covered in some sort of animal fur. Her hair is covered in some sort of skin tight cap that is dripping some sort of hair glue down her forehead.

"I have just been told that we will be arriving at noon which is a bit of a set back but I have made calls to District Eleven and everything will be ready by the time we get there. Katniss make sure you are awake by seven for a quick breakfast before your prep team begins to work. I already spoke to the doctor and he said you will be fine by morning, and Cinna has already assured me your bump will be hidden away." She say's pulling out her little notebook and going down her list making sure everything will go perfectly.

"Okay thank you Effie. Goodnight." I say giving her a small smile.

"Goodnight Katniss make sure you get lots of sleep." She says eyeing Finnick before she closes the door behind her. I turn to Finnick and we both laugh knowing everything so far is working out perfectly.

"Do you think you can get me some sleeping syrup. I don't think I am going to able to fall asleep on my own anytime soon." I say after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah I don't think I can sleep on my own either. Especially not with all your snoring." He jokes as he makes his way towards the door. I grab his pillow and throw it at the back of his head. We both laugh. He comes back and gives me a small spoon full of the sleeping syrup,but only enough to get me to sleep for about two maybe three hours. He does the same but I can barely feel him getting into bed next to me because I am already drifting off.

When Finnick awakes me I can barely keep my eyes open. The light shinning in through the window is so bright I make him close it before I get up. We both head to eat breakfast together even though I can tell he only wants to go back to sleep. Even though I can move around my head still throbs so Finnick gives me another pill. I don't have much of an appetite so I just drink hot chocolate and eat a small loaf of bread. Finnick on the other serves himself a heaping plate of fruit and eggs. When I finish I am rushed into the bathroom and Octavia immediately helps me in to the bath tub to gently wash out my hair. Her hands are gentle as she slowly brushes the knots out of my hair. Once she finishes Venia and Flavius come in still groggy and they work on my nails and makeup. By ten o'clock they are finished my eye makeup is dark but put on in soft strokes and my nails are painted a beautiful sparkling red and my hair is curled and is big enough so that my bump which has already begun to go down is completely hidden. They all give me a kiss on the cheek before they leave to prepare them selves and Cinna comes in holding a short red gown. When he places it on me I see that the dress stops just above my knees and its the same color of my nails. Its fitted and hugs my body in a way that makes me appear to have curves. It has some sort of ruffle going down the right side off my body and the whole dress is covered in silver sparkles. He helps me into shoes that have a similar ruffle that begins at my toe and works its way up until it wraps around my ankle. It's a nice dress but I feel off in it. It fits right and looks nice but I dont see myself in it. I feel older... more mature and flirty. All in all its perfect and flashy and I would never wear it under normal circumstances.

"You look beautiful." Cinna says reassuring me before placing a dazzling diamond neckless around my neck. Its thick and chokes my neck slightly. "Your new token, make sure you mention it." He says adjusting my dress and hair.

When I step out of the room fully dressed and right on time I find Haymitch and Finnick also dressed and groomed. This is the first time I have seen Haymitch ever since we got on the train and I can tell that even though he is not drunk now he has spent most of the time on the train being drunk.

"You look perfect now let's go and get this thing over with." Haymitch says walking past me and stepping out of the train.

"You do look great. A little over dressed but I guess that's the point." Finnick says holding my hand in his and leading me down the steps out onto the gravel road where a ragged cart awaits with Peacekeepers guarding it with their guns. They help me in the cart where I feel even more out of place in this dress. While Effie rambles on and on about how we should be treated with more respect I stare out into the fields. When I spot the orchard fields I imagine Rue hopping through those tree's and signaling the other workers with her sweet little melody. When we arrive at the justice building we are let out and surrounded by Peacekeepers as we are lead into the justice building. I barely have a chance to register the mixed smells of mildew and food before I am rushed out to the front entrance of the justice building. Finnick lets go of me and pulls me into a hug.

"Dont look at the other tributes families." He whispers in my ear before pulling away. Cinna fixes my hair and makes sure my dress is perfect before he kisses my cheek and wishes me good luck. Effie reminds me to smile and Even Haymitch gives me a small reassuring smile. I take a deep breath as I hear the anthem playing outside the doors. I take a step closer to them and when they open I put on my winning smile before stepping out into the sunlight. I know once I step out that Rue and Thresh's families are sitting to the left of the stage and I will my eyes to continue looking straight. There's a loud applause from the crowd. When it's over the mayor gives a speech and I am handed a bouquet of flower's. I pretend to ignore the mayor's speech by spotting Finnick in the crowd and blowing him a kiss which he pretends to catch and I giggle. The mayor looks at me confused and the crowd remains silent unsure of what to make of me. When It's time for me to make a speech I begin to feel nervous but I find the words flowing out of me.

"I would like to thank you all for welcoming me to your...cute little town." I say pretending to hide my grimace behind a smile. "I am so grateful to be standing here alive and healthy and rich! I never in a million years could have seen myself living this new glamorous for the games has truly been the best decision of my life. Although I wish I had let my sister go so that she could be able to live the life I am living. I hope all your beautiful children make the same choice I did and volunteer for the games. I hope to recognize some of the faces I am seeing here today at the games next year!" I say excitedly. " I wish I had waited to volunteer for this years Quarter Quell! I cant wait to see two of your faces at the Quell fighting to win. Who knows maybe one of you will be smart enough and you will turn out like me! That is of course if you can manage to take down District twelve!" I say playfully. I laugh but I am the only one who finds this funny. Everyone looks at me some with hatred and some with disappointment, but I smile brightly at them. "May the odds be in your favor. " I say with a wink. The crowd stays quiet. No body claps or yells for me to get off the stage they just stand there with disgust on there faces. The last part was maybe over the top and it most definitely pushed those who were reluctant to believe me over the edge. The mayor steps up to the microphone and presents me a plaque so big I doubt I can carry it with the flowers in my hand so it gives me an Idea. When the mayor offers it to me I give a big squeal and throw the flowers to the ground as though it meant nothing, before gripping the plaque in my arms. It brings a look of disgust to even the mayors face. None of the other victors have ever acted like this even those who were cocky and arrogant from the start remained composed and gave their speeches with grace. He congratulates me one last time even though I know it's forced and then I am lead back out the same way I came in.

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Okay let me knowhow I was and if it totally sucked!

-Love Marely


	8. Chapter 8 The Capital

Touring through most of the districts went by uneventfully. It was all the same ceremony and same diners. I gave the same speeches and no one ever applauded. Not all the districts seem to fully believe the act but it pushed them enough in that direction that they didn't really question it. District four was the only district that I got to actually leave the Justice Building. That day we had arrived early and the ceremony began early also. After somewhere between the speech and the dinner I received Peeta's letter.

**Katniss,**

**_I am so sorry you have to do this. When I tried to die I thought your life would be easier. I was wrong. I wish I could be there to help you. I hate what they have made you do, This person you are pretending to be... I know you are not her. At first I believed it I didn't receive your letter until district seven and by then I was already convinced what a horrible person you had become. Then I received your letter and I understand. I love you and nothing will ever change that. I wish you coud tell Finnick how grateful I am for what he is doing. Even though it hurts to see you two together I know it is all my fault. I brought this on you. I wish I could tell you to stop but it is already too late. I hope all your friends from district twelve somehow find a way to understand why you are doing this. I'm sorry._**

**_I want you to know that I am well. I can't tell you were I am but I can tell you that I am safe and no one is hurting me. In fact I am not alone. I have made friends and if you met them I am sure you would like them. I love you Katniss. I can't wait until the day I can hold you in my arms once again._**

**_-Peeta._**

It was ridiculous that he thought this was his fault. If he hadn't died things would have probably been worse. It would have been more complicated. I am grateful he doesn't have to endure this. After the dinner and the flirting and the faking was over since we had arrived hours ahead of time we were allowed to spend the night in District Four. Finnick and I sneaked out of our room in the train and he took me to a beach. The moon was shinning bright that night which illuminated the ocean water.

"I couldn't imagine a world without beaches."He said when I asked why he didn't just stay here living on the beach. We layed there on the sand all night. He had brought a large blanket which we layed on and when the wind became cold he pulled me into his side. At first I was reluctant but by then Finnick had somehow become more than a friend. So I layed there snuggle up against his warm body, and for the first time since I left Prim I felt at home. When it became so cold that even sharing body heat wasn't enough he left me on the beach to go get us another blanket after I refused to leave the beach. When He left I decided to walk along the shore. I took off my shoes and socks and let the cool water brush along my toes. I had never been to a place like this and I wish I had grown up here in District Four. What is there to worry about when you live in a place so beautiful. When Finnick came back he had brought cups of hot chocolate which we sipped as we walked along shore. HE told me about growing up here. How great it was, even though his family was one of the poorer families and he grew up working he enjoyed it. Then he decided the only way I could uflly feel how amazing it was to grow up on a beach would be if we got in the water. so we took off our pajamas and got in in only our underclothes. We got in waist deep and up until then he had kept me close probably to make sure the waves didn't take me away. Finally I got tired of being treated like a child and I pulled away from him and before he could object I dove in. The water truly did feel magical as I cut through it. I swam until my body objected and I needed to breath. When I rise up out of the water Finnick is no were to be found. The waves are pushing me and it makes it a little harder to tread water. Just as I feel the waves pushing me to far out in the ocean Finnick appears behind me startling me.

"Where did you learn to swim?" He says tickling me for not mentioning it. " and why didn't you to tell me?"

"You didn't ask." I say laughing. "My father taught me in a small lake out in the woods outside my district." I say once he stops tickling me and I can control my laughter.

We swam until the sun came up. We laughed and played. We splashed each other and we played silly little kids games. He would pick me up and throw me into the water. Or we would see who could hold their breath longer and obviously he won but we still had fun. By the time the sun showed it was somewhere around six a.m we decided to get out and head back to the train which was supposed to leave at seven. We rushed back both of us too tired to object. We got in the train just as it was about to leave and we both were dripping so much water onto the floors. We ran to my room not caring who heard us. We laughed and slipped our way into my bathroom where we took a shower together with our clothes on of course. We got into bed in our wet clothes and fell asleep. It was the most fun I had ever had. Gale and I never played like that, how could we play when we had families to worry about. Peeta and I were to busy trying to stay alive and faking a romance that we didn't have fun like that either. From that night on Finnick and I were inseparable. But this time it wasn't because we had to it was because we actually enjoyed each others company. He managed to bring out such a fun person out of me.

When we reach the capital I am exhausted. I can't keep up the act any longer but I know I have too because fooling the capital will not only be the most important but it will be the hardest. Finnick and Haymitch and I make a plan for how everything is going to be and we have it all so well worked out that I don't even feel nervous when I awake on the morning of my interview. I spend the entire day getting ready My hair is styled up and flows elegantly my makeup is soft and illuminates my face my skin glows and sparkles and my dress could not have been more perfect if it was made by angels. Cinna dressed me in a beautiful gown which was long and hugged my body it was the color of champagne and hugged my body all the way down until it reached my calves were it flowed out elegantly and left a train behind me as I walked. My neckless sparkled and I looked beautiful and elegant. I looked sexy and glamorous and the dress practically did my whole job for me. Cinna fussed over me making sure everything looked perfect and Finnick reassured me that I couldn't look more perfect. Even Haymitch told me he knew I could do this. My prep team on the other hand just smiled. They have seen the person I became and they didn't like me. I guess they truly appreciated the person I was and now that I am not that person I no longer hold there interest. They smile and we still talk on occasion but it feels different somehow, and I never thought loosing them would actually bring me sadness but it did. Standing back stage waiting to make my big entrance I begin to feel nervous. I try to relax but my palms begin to sweat and I quickly brush it off on my dress and give them a shake trying to work the feeling back into my fingers. I hear Caesar introduces me as the girl on fire and I put on a smile and step out onto the stage. He pulls me in for a small hug before we sit down i chairs. The stage lights hurt my eyes at first but they adjust. I sit with my ankles crossed and my back straight and a big smile on my face as we both wait for the crowd to quiet down.

"So Katniss may i just say that you look absolutely stunning!" He says and the crowd gives a roar of agreement.

"Thank you Caesar and I must say you look handsome as well." I say giggling.

"Thank you. Speaking of handsome tell me about that delicious new boyfriend you have." He says.

"Well I can't exactly call him my boyfriend."I laugh." But I can say that I hope to someday call him my boyfriend." I say blushing.

"Well can I just speak for all of Panem when I say that we were all shocked that you moved on so quickly. A love like Peeta is hard to get over." He says when the crowd doesn't respond very enthusiastically to my confession.

"Well in all honesty Peeta and I weren't truly in love. I mean we really cared for each other and who wouldn't in the situation we were in, but lets be real we only knew each other for a short amount of time and half that time we spent away from each other fighting for our lives!" I say. "But I do believe he would be proud to see me as I am now. He would have wanted me to enjoy the life he gave me."

"How has your life been since the games ended." He says changing the subject when the crowd doesn't respond to my answer.

"It has been absolutely wonderful. I am living in a beautiful home with my family we enjoy every minute of it. It so much easier not having to worry about how you are going to feed yourself the next day. I wish everyone could live my fabulous life. Not only are you rich but you get to travel through all the districts and meet so many people and they are all so ...kind. I couldn't be more thrilled."

"What was your favorite place to visit?" He asks.

"The capital of course! It changed my life its like no other place on earth." I lie. Even though it truly is like no place on earth,, but in a bad way. This though brings another round of applause from the audience. They enjoyed that answer.

"We really are something!" He say's laughing. "Now tell me are you excited over the Quarter Quell?"

"I couldn't be more excited to help my tributes win!" The crowd begins to get excited." I can't wait to find out what new fun obstacle will be added this year! I can definitely say that Haymitch and I will not go down without a fight." I say laughing as thought this is something delightful.

"Well we can't wait to see that." He say's.

"I am so excited to go against Finnick I already told him that Haymitch and I already know we are going to win. He's also going to be one of my main targets." I say laughing.

"Well Finnick and you will make a very interesting couple we would have never imagined you two together. Tell me how has that been working for you two? He is so different from Peeta." He says.

"Well Peeta wasn't the only guy in the world that I have ever cared for." I say snapping back slightly acting as though I am annoyed at the fact that he keeps comparing them. "Finnick just makes me feel soo... alive, and when it doesn't work out I cant wait to get out there and look for someone even better. There is always room for improvement!" I laugh playful but I can tell even Caesar didn't like that comment.

"Well do you hear that Finnick if I wer you I would hold on tight to her for as long as you can." He says laughing as the cameras turn to finnick sitting with Haymitch and Cinna but he just waves it off as if I would never consider leaving him. He blows me a kiss and I do the same and we all laugh. The crowd is either not believing it or they don't really care. Maybe some of them like who I have become and this worry me. I do the best I can to insult them but it's not easy to find things that are sensitive to them. They don't care about hunger or money they don't worry about their kids going into the games and even when I insult their ridiculous costumes they just laugh it off. By the end of the interview I know they believe I have changed but I am not sure it really matters to them. When it's over I am rushed back to cinna who helps me get in to the next dress for the after party. My hair and makeup stay the same since we don't have time to change it. My next dress is just as beautiful its short and not as tight my guess is so that I can dance and move around. It's the color of evergreen my favorite color and it is my favorite dress because the color reminds me of being in the woods. Its silky and sort of plain compared to my other extravagant dresses. The top of my dress is very fitted and swoops down low. Too low for comfort but I know I have to endure showing so much skin. The back also cuts low somewhere in my lower back and it is very easily seen since my hair is up. The shoes are sparkling and they are the highest shoes I have worn. It is so dramatic yet simple and very uncomfortable but I have no choice but to wear it. Finnick escorts me to the car in a dark suit and green bow tie the color of my I have to say that he looks even more handsome than usual. When we step out of the car and into the Presidents house the sun has already gone down but its hard to tell from all the flashing lights from the cameras trying to catch a picture of Finnick and I together. He holds onto my hand tightly and pulls me in side to the salon where the party is. Its dark and has glowing lights everywhere that brightens the room. Food surrounds the large room and I cant even begin to explain how much food there is. Finnick and I are pulled everywhere because everyone wants to talk to me and tak ea picture with me and by the time finnick and I can sneak away to eat we are both starving. I want to try everything so Finnick and I share plates of food. We feed each other playfully and we try to take a few bites of all the delicious food but we barely make it through the first few tables and neither of us can hold one more bite of food. So we decide to try to work some of it off on the dance floor so that we can eat some more later. I have never been much of a dancer and especially now that the dances are so foreign to me, but Finnick makes a scene of trying to teach me and I actually begin to have fun and we forget about all the cameras watching. Eventually I get the hang of it and we dance for a while until a slow song starts playing and he pulls me close. It feels strange being so close to him like this. This isn't like the hugs we have shared because this feels so intimate with the lights pointed at us and everyone watching us. I begin to feel uncomfortable and self-conscious especially when I think of the kiss he and I had planned to share later in the evening. I begin to feel as though my sister and Gale and Peeta are watching down on me disappointed by betrayal. I hide my face and Finnicks chest which must seem romantic but the truth is I just don't want anyone to see the discomfort in my eyes. When the song is over Finnick pulls away gives me a twirl and kisses me on the cheek and I blush and everyone claps excitedly. After our slow dance we both head over to the food tables and feed our appetites until once again we cant hold anymore. Haymitch then appears laughing like the drunk idiot he is. He pulls me into a big hug.

"Congratulations sweetheart! I knew you could do it!" He yells and gives me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. I knew he was talking about my performance but everyone else must assume he is talking about the games and they just laugh. I push him off me and laugh even though I am disgusted by the wetness on my cheek. I wipe it off and decide to have a drink with him. I am served a glass of bubbling champagne which is actually kind of good Finnick and I finish our glass before heading back on the dance floor. This time I feel a lot less worried if Haymitch thinks I did good then I should just relax and try to truly have fun. FInnick and I dance and I drink another glass of champagne this time enjoying the fizzy feeling in my head and even welcoming it.

I have had a few drinks of champagne by the time Plutarch the new head game maker asks Finnick permission to have a dance with me. This snaps my mind right back into reality and suddenly the buzz that had set over y mind begins to fade. This is the man that helped kill so many innocent people. We dance in silence not intimately like Finnick and I but it still makes me uncomfortable. We dont talk much even though he constantly tries to joke about last years training incident and I realize he is the one that fell in the punch. This relaxes me a little and I focus on the dancing until the song is over. When it ends he pulls out a small pocket watch and when he opens it a holographic mockingjay appears. This is confusing because he must know that is becoming the symbol of rebellion. Maybe he was trying to fit in with the capital styles. Or maybe he was trying to tell me none of it mattered because things are already calming down.

I push it to the back off my mind with the help of another glass of campaign I continue to enjoy the party with Finnick. We dance and eat, we take pictures with people and talk with my stylist and there friends. I even make a scene to flirt with some of the guys when it seems like Finnick isn't paying attention. I even have a few dances with a very drunk Haymitch but at that point I am acting just s silly as he is so it turns out to be fun. When it comes down to Finnick and I sharing our first kiss he leads me to the center of the dance floor and another slow song begins. I wrap my arms around his neck and he bends over slightly until his forehead is pressed against mine. At this point I don't feel so self-conscious thanks to the countless drinks I have had and when he bends down to give me a soft kiss I lean in to let him. It didn't compare to the last kiss Peeta and I shared but it was nice, and I actually enjoy having his soft lips pressed into mine. As the evening goes by I continue drinking and so does Finnick by the time we leave we are both as drunk as Haymitch. The drive to our room is fun we laugh and stare out at the glowing city around us. It's the first time I truly admire how beautiful it truly is. Finnick and I stumble up to our separate rooms and I take off my dress and toss it on the counter and put of a soft silky night gown. I am so tired that I don't even wash the makeup off my face and I leave my hair up. I am just about to get in bed when a stumbling Finnick walks in to my room and throws himself on my bed before pulling me down with him. We both laugh and roll around trying to get comfortable for a while until we end up lying on our sides our faces inches apart.

"Tonight was nice." He says.

"It was not as bad as I thought it would be." I say back my words slurred.

"Your not as bad of a kisser as I imagined." He jokes. We both laugh for a minute before he stares into my eyes. He starts to move in and it takes me a second to realize he is about to kiss me. I let him and his lips are just as gentle as they were at the party. I kiss him back and when he pulls away neither of us say anything and I just snuggle into his side and we both fall asleep.


	9. Chapter 9 Gale

Just realize a Katniss and Finnick couple should be named Fatniss :P

* * *

When I awoke my throat was sore and my eyes were groggy even though I can tell from the light shining through the window it is sometime in the late afternoon. My body was sore and my head was spinning. I was going to get up when I realized Finnicks arms were wrapped tightly around me. I can feel last night's food coming up and I had no choice but to rip his arms off me and run to the bathroom shutting the door behind me. As I spilled my guts into the toilet I could hear Finnick getting up and knocking on my door. When I'm finished I flush the toilet and open the door to let him in. He is standing there with his hair all messed up and he's wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. He walks in without saying a word and throws up in the toilet the same way I was a few moments ago. I stare at my face and find my hair in a tangled mess on top of my head and my makeup is smeared. I wash my face and let my hair down. I brush my teeth and by the time I'm done Finnick is just barely getting off the floor. I want nothing more than to go back to bed and sleep through my horrible head ache but I know the train will be leaving soon and I need to be on it. I step out of the bathroom as Finnick washes his face and teeth. I step out into the dining room and find no one. When I return to the room Finnick is laying in bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey" I say in my groggy voice. I lay down beside him.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

"absolutely terrible. I don't know how Haymitch does this everyday."

"He never gets a hangover because he never stops drinking." He says and we both laugh despite our throbbing heads.

"Last night did we kiss? Like here in this room...privatly" I ask my head was spinning and I wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't real.

"Yeah I think so..." He says after a minute of silence.

"Oh." I say not sure what to say next.

"I'm sorry. We were so drunk and I love you just not it that way." He says after a few minutes of awkward silence. I let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Oh I feel the exact same way!." We laugh and he pulls me into a hug. It's such a relief knowing we are both on the same page. I love Peeta and even if I didn't Finnick wouldn't be my next choice. Not that he wouldn't be great but he and I are too alike its like we know each other to well.

"Are you hungry?" He asks when we pull apart.

"No I think im going to take a shower and wash off all the memories of last night's party."I say standing up and heading towards the bathroom.

"Okay I will go take one too."He leaves and we each take a shower. When I'm in the shower I can't help thinking of our kiss. He was tender yet firm. He was a good kisser. At least I think the only person I can compare him to is Peeta. His kiss was different than Peeta's it made me feel different I felt loved when I kissed Peeta. Not the first few times but our last ones they were so loving and soft they made my knees shake and my heart burst on fire. But Finnicks kiss was different, I'm not sure exactly what I felt but I know I didn't feel that way. By the time I'm finished I'm more confused than ever so I push it to the back of my head.

I dress in simple clothes and when I step out of my room Haymitch , Effie and Finnick are waiting for me. Finnick hands me a cup of tea which I gladly take.

"ALright let's go! Katniss you and Finnick can eat something on the train although I doubt you will want to eat anything after all the drinking you all did last night."She say's firmly as if we have disappointed her.

"Correct me if I am wrong but I do remember seeing you last night with a few glasses of champagne in your hand." I reply annoyed by her tone.

"I don't have the world watching over me!" She snaps back before heading into the elevator and leaving us there. to wait for the next one.

"Whats wrong with her did we do something wrong last night?" I ask Haymitch.

"She is probably just irritated by the way you have been acting." He says putting on a pair of dark sunglasses before stepping into the elevator. Finnick holds my hand and the elevator ride is so fast I stumble a bit. When we step out there is a crowd around us trying to catch a picture of our departing. They are so loud my ears feel like they are about to explode. This is the price you pay for one night of forgetting your troubles. I try not to show how much pain I'm in but I can't manage a smile so I just keep a straight face until we step outside into the blinding light. Which turns out to be just as bad as the noises the cars on the streets make. We all rush into the car that is taking us into the train station. No one say's anything and Haymitch actually falls asleep on the way there so all we hear is his snoring. I feel bad having Effie mad at me and I want to apologize and tell her the truth but i know I cant I already risked to much telling Haymitch and my family and even Finnick even though he doesn't know the whole story I have put him in danger. I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. The thought of loosing him now is too much it brings tears to my eyes. I almost wish I hadn't met him that way he could be safe. We have grown to be such good friends, it's ironic because me and Gale used to talk badly about him, the same way people are probably talking about me. Gale... what could he be thinking about me. Does he know it's all an act? Has he figured that out? He knows me better than anyone and I know he has figured it out. But does he approve? I doubt it he thinks I'm doing it all for Peeta but I'm not it's for him too and my sister and my mother and his family and Peeta's family and now Haymitch and even Finnick. They wouldn't stop at just killing Peeta. Gale and his family would probably be next on the list. It wouldn't even be hard, they could kill Gale in a mining accident and then leave his family to slowly starve to death. Then they would kill Haymitch say it was alcohol poisoning everyone would believe it. Then maybe my mother and they would leave Prim for last. I don't know how they would kill her and I don't even want to think about it. I feel Finnick squeeze my hand and I know I must be crying. He wipes away my tear and I try to compose myself knowing there will be more cameras at the train station and even letting Effie see me like this can ruin everything.

When we reach the train station I am better my eyes are a little red but that might be just because of the sun. Either way I take off Haymitch's sunglasses before I step out. I'm glad I do because the flashes from the cameras are even brighter than the sun. As I step on the train I turn around and blow one last kiss to the crowd. In the train Haymitch heads straight to his room and Finnick and I do the same. I know Finnick wants to know why I was crying but even in the privacy of our room I can't. Even trying to say it brings another round of tears to my eyes. So he just pulls me into a hug and he lets me cry it out.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispers to me when I calm down a little. At this point I'm sitting on his ;ap while he cradles me like a small child. I just shake my head that's buried in his chest.

"Ok that's fine." He say's and hugs me tighter. At some point I fall asleep in his arms.

I wake up almost startled there's no light coming in from the windows so That means I slept the entire day. Finnick is next to me and I can tell that my movement had woke him up to. He rubs his eyes and sit's up.

"Good morning sleepy head." he say's to me. My head ache is gone and I feel a lot better except for the fact that my throat is dry.

"C'mon, I'm hungry." I say getting up. We both leave the comfort of our room and head into the dining cart. Were an array of food is layed out on the table. We both sit down and eat. It's clear that Effie and my crew and maybe even Haymitch had already eaten because the food looks picked over but it doesn't slow Finnick and I down. We eat our days worth of food. When we both finish it's late. Somewhere around midnight but neither of us is tired anymore so we lay on the couch and talk. He talks about how great I did and how he can tell that I really pulled it off but all I can think about is how I'm going to try and fool District Twelve there the ones who really know who I am. While he and I talk we order warm milk and when our server brings it in he also brings Peeta's letter with him. Peeta and I had been writting back and forth and they have been coming in a few days apart but we both managed to send about four letters and this will be his fifth. Finnick hasn't seen me writing the letters or even received them I have been so secretive about them.

"What is it?" He asks expecting me to open it.

"It's probably just a letter from my family I'll open it later." I say setting it aside.

"Why don't you want me to see it?" He ask's growing suspicion.

"It's from my sister" I lie. "there personal."

"Why? Do you talk about me and how madly in love you are with me." He say's giving me a playful shove but I end up spilling milk on the letter. I get up grab the letter and storm out into my room. I'm not really mad but I'm dying to see what the letter says and it's a good excuse. When I open it I find that only a small corned of the letter had gotten wet. I read it we don't talk about much he tells me a lot about the people he has met and I tell him a lot about Finnick and all the different districts. He also talks a lot about his family. His dad Paulo who he claims loves me and my sister. His mother Nessa who he says gives them tough love. His oldest brother Parker which is the one that talked to me at the bakery. He says they have always been very close even though there six years apart. His other older brother Asher who had always been more like his mother so they don't get along that well. I tell him about Prim and My mother and even my father at some point. He talks about how he cant wait to meet them. He doesn't say much in this letter. he tells me he got into a fight with another guy that apparently said something bad about me when he saw me on tv. He says there both fine. They pulled them apart before they could even hit each other. He can never give me names just personalities. I want to write back but I decide to wait until I get home. I could barely concentrate on the note over Finnicks knocking on my door. I let him in and he apologizes I tell him it's fine I over reacted and we both get in bed.

"When are you leaving?" I ask him finally. I don't want him to leave but I know he needs to get back home now that the tours over.

"The day after tomorrow... I'll come and visit when I get permission." he say's. "but we will get to hangout during the Quarter Quell. When we sponsor our tributes."

"Is it hard?" I say scarred of seeing kids I know die.

"Only when you know them." He says and we both remain quiet after that.

The next day Effie woke us up and rushed me to get ready and by the time we reached District Twelve I was ready for the ceremony. It was harder lying to my district so I stayed quiet and when my speech came up I just thanked everyone for their support and remained quiet. When I was asked why I didn't give a great speech to the place that started it all I told them I was hung over and they left me alone. The day went by in a blur. All I wanted to do was go home and see prim and my mother and Gale. I missed him and I wanted to fix things between us.

It was around ten right now and Prim my mother and I were huddled by the fire sipping tea and eating bakery bread. The one with the cheese onto my favorite. Prim was sitting in my lap and I had my arms wrapped around her and chin on her shoulder. My mother had her arm around us. It's the closest I have ever felt to her. I told them about all the different districts. WHat they looked like and how beautiful some of them were. District Eleven with their endless fields, District seven with their tree's that reach up for miles. All the smokey air and factories of district three. They listened and when I finished they told me about what had happened while I was gone. Hazel had talked to my mother who talked to Prim who talked to Gale. I don't know how she did it but she convinced him to put the revolution he was planning on hold. She wouldn't tell me how she did it and I didn't care I was glad that I had a chance to get Gale back. We went to sleep around midnight and I was tired but Sleep wouldn't come. I had gotten used to feeling Finnicks warmth in the bed next to me and now I felt scarred. After about an hour of tossing and turning around in bed I give up and head over to Prim's room I snuggle up next to her and finally fall asleep.

I awoke the next day alone in Prim's bed. She had probably already left for school. I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard knocking at the door. I quickly dressed and headed down stairs. It was Finnick and he had all his bags packed.

"Are you leaving already?' I ask dreading his answer.

"Yeah I came to say goodbye." He say's pulling me into a tight hug.

"I'll walk you to the train center." I say not wanting to let go yet. i step outside and even though its not snowing the air is freezing against my wet hair and moist skin. He puts his warm hat on my head and put's his arm around me. The hat is made of a soft fabric and covers my ears.

"What are you going to do without me here." he say's tickling my side playfully.

"Oh please I'll be fine I'm more worried about you being all alone on those beautiful beaches." I say pushing him gently. He had become such a good friend and I didn't want him to leave.

"I'm going to miss you." He admits just as we arrive at the train ready to take him to district four.

"I know you will." He laughs and pulls me into another hug. I give him a kiss on the cheek despite all the people around us, and he does the same. I give him another hug not ready to let go. He picks me up easily and spins me around the way he did at the beach. I laugh and when he set me down I mess up his hair and he gives me one last goodbye hug before he leaves. I know I will have to see him again whether I like it or not but it feels like that's a life time away.

I walk back home feeling cold without Finnick's warmth. When I walk in I find Gale sitting at the table.

"Gale what are you doing here aren't you supposed to be working at the mines its only like one o'clock?" I ask confused by seeing him here I quickly take off Finnicks hat which suddenly feels like its squeezing my head.

"We got out early today. There was bad air but don't worry we all managed to get out before anyone died. I saw you with him when I was walking here... is he really your new boyfriend?" He asks never looking up at my face.

"Dont be ridiculous Gale... you know me better than anyone do you honestly think I'm that person you saw on tv?" I ask angered by him even asking me that. It's as if he hasn't known me for the past five years.

"Well I didn't think any of it was true until I saw you two today hugging and kissing and laughing your way to the train." He snaps back becoming angered himself.

"Gale he's my friend he was helping me and I care about him for that! I don't love him and I don't even like him atleast not in that way. He helped me in a way you refused to!" I yell suddenly wishing it had been him instead of Finnick.

"I refused because it was wrong Katniss! I understand you wont to save Peeta but how do you know it was really him on that phone? Maybe it was all just some stupid trick." He yells back.

"I know it was him why won't you believe me! It doesn't matter if it wasn't him anyways he didn't just threaten him he threatened you too and my mom and my sister! He was just a bonus.. I did this for you so why can't you just thank me and shutup!"I yell at him letting out all my anger. He doesn't say anything for a moment and suddenly he stands from his chair and just as I think he is about to leave me here he pulls me into a hug.

"I'm sorry." He whispers I hug him back. I missed him so badly. I dont even remember what we were fighting about anymore. "seeing you with him and with Peeta. Watching you kiss both of them it... it made me realize how much I really care about you. Katnss I love you." Then he pulls me into a kiss.

His lips were warm and soft but the kiss was rough almost as if he needed it like he was scared I would pull away, but I don't. I love him too maybe not in the same way he meant it but I knew I loved him and this kiss was to sudden for me to comprehend how it really made me feel. When he pulls away he looks at me in the eyes waiting for me to respond but I just stammer. I don't know what to say. It was all so confusing and so sudden that I had no idea what to say to him.

"I'm sorry I just couldn't let you do anything else until you knew how I felt about you." he says before he makes his way toward the door. I want to stop him but I don't because I am still not sure what I can say. So he leaves me standing there shocked. He and I have always been so close he became more than a friend he became family and I never though of him in a different way. He was handsome and protective, I feel safe when I'm around him. I never saw him in that way. I push it to the back of my head the way I do with all my feelings and I focus on making Prim food. I eat a few slices of bread while I cook not being able to wait any longer. When Prim arrives I allow my self to tell her what happened while we eat.

"I don't know up until now I never thought about him like that. He's always just been my best friend Gale. He and I practically grew up around eachother." I say after a moment of consideration. I still couldn't think of a better response.

"Well what about Peeta you didn't know how you felt about him until you felt you lost him. When the time is right you will know." She say's. It doesn't sound like the best idea but I have nothing else to try so I go along with it anyways.

"Are you going over to help out at our old house?" I ask as we are cleaning up.

"Yes We are almost done everything is looking great." She says excitedly.

"Can I come with you?" I finally feel ready to see it.

"course your going to love it I promise!" She says grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the door. Outside the wind has gone down a bt but I still pull on Finnicks hat. He's been gone less than a day and I already miss him... Prim talks excitedly about the house and how she can't wait to really help people. They have more than just herbs now they can afford real medicine. Not real expensive stuff like the burn medicine I used in the games, but medicine for simple sicknesses and even a few antibiotics. Despite the fact that I am sad about losing the house that reminds me so much of my father, I know this will be a good thing for district Twelve. It will help stop so many deaths even if we cant help everyone we can do a lot better than we had been previously. When we arrive at the house I'm shocked by what I find. It's our house. Nothing has changed except the floors don't creak when you walk on them and the walls are freshly painted I run my hands along the wooden walls. They feel different somehow sturdier but the house has the same feeling. It's clean and I can still smell the paint from the walls but it's still my house. As I walk around I cant help but to feel the walls and embrace the clean smells. In the back there is a small fence for Lady who moans happily and continues eating. Buttercup is also walking around the house and I find a small pillow by the fire which she gladly hops on. he is a lot cleaner and better groomed than she was before but she still has the same bad attitude and hisses at me whenever we come close. It feels great to be home despite all the working people around me I cant help but to just sit by the fire and embrace how truly great it feels to be so close to all our memories. My dad hugging me close singing to me. His songs filled our house with music. I sit around for a few minutes until I realize I'm in the way of so many working people so I head back to our new house. I was about to stop by the bakery when I saw that Peeta's mother Nessa was there and I had a feeling she might not be as accepting as her husband and son where so I keep going and head home. When I get there I dont know what to do. I have nothing else to do. I would go hunting but the sun will be going down soon and by the time I got there the sun would already be down. This must be why every victor has to have a talent unfortunately modeling isn't really something I'm interested in and it's not really something I know how to practice either. I had already sent out my letter to Peeta last night. So I literally have nothing else to do. I think about heading over with Haymitch, but I dont feel like dealing with him right now. Just as I give up on trying to find something else to do and I sit by the fire nibbling of bread the phone rings. I get up suspecting it to be Effie or Cinna to talk about when they will be arriving to help with my modeling or maybe they will take me to the capital for it.

"Hello?" I say taking a bite of the bread as I do.

"Katniss I must say you did a very interesting job." His voice startles me. I have only heard it a handful of times despite all the times I have heard it on tv, but hearing it those few times was enough to never let me forget. It was President Snow.

"Did I do it?" I ask trying to hide the shakiness from my voice.

"It look's as though what you did worked." My heart begins to beat again and I let out the breath I had been holding in. "but don't get to excited. Just because they have calmed down for now doesn't mean things wont start back again."

"When will I get to see Peeta." I say ignoring him.

"Did you not hear what I said? Things are fine for now but I wont give him up until I see real results. So he's safe for now and maybe he will even be able to make another phone call to you. That is of course if everything continues to work out." He says before hanging up the phone. I slam the phone down into the receiver and just as I'm about to rip it out of the wall and throw it out the window his words sink in. I may not have won yet but I am one step closer. So I take a deep breath and let the anger wash out of my brain. I pick up the bread I had dropped at the sound of his voice and throw it away. I decide that I should go talk to Haymitch now and tell him the some-what good news.

The air has somehow got colder and I pull the jacket around me tighter. When I step inside Haymitchs clean house I breathe in a sigh of relief. Seeing it so clean and warm is such a relief. Haymitch may not be my favorite person in the world but I'm glad to see him living better. I walk into the kitchen and I'm surprised to actually see him eating. Nothing special just af ew slices of bread and some cheese and fruit but it's more than I have seen him eat on his own.

"What happened?" He says just as I walk in.

"What do you mean?" I'm surprised to find that he doesn't have his usual drunk slur or his irritated hung over voice.

"You only come to see me when you need something or when you have bad news." He says taking a bite of an apple.

"Well actually today I have neither." I say annoyed by his attitude even though it's true. I take a few berries of his plate and pop them in my mouth.

"You want me to believe you actually want to spend time with me?"

"No but I just don't have any bad news and I don't need your help." I say superior.

"Then what could you possibly have to tell me that wont completely waste my time?" he says annoyed clearly he was in a bad mood. which probably had to do with his attempt at withdrawal.

"I got a call from President Snow and he said I did good. I think we are going to get Peeta back soon." I say excitedly ignoring his attitude.

"That's great Sweet heart. Now get out I'm going to bed." He says and gets up and heads up stairs before I can object. I take another deep breath and leave. It's already beginning to get dark but it's technically still early. I have nothing to do and no one to talk to. I'm sitting around sipping tea and nibbling on bread. I miss Finnick and Peeta and Gale and Prim. I wish one of them were here to talk to. I could go look for Gale but I'm not ready to talk about our kiss and feelings again. I would call Finnick I have his number but he wont be home until tomorrow. Most of all I wish I could talk to Peeta. I miss his voice, his soothing soft voice. After a while I decide there is nothing left for me to do but to go to sleep.

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Oh Oh another kiss! Not only that but Peeta is on the verge of coming home what the hell is she going to do! I don't even know so good luck figuring it out. Ahhh I am so excited. I have the next three chapter typed and ready to be posted so if I get a lot of reviews I will post them early!


	10. Chapter 10 The kiss

I posted the chapter even though some of y'all don't deserve it.

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Days went by uneventfully, they passed by so slowly it became torture I have been waiting for a call from President Snow telling me I failed or telling me Peeta was on his way here, but nothing came and no one called. Finnick would call often but his calls began becoming less frequent since neither of us had anything to talk about. Gale and I hadn't spoken over what happened and we both sort of avoided the topic completely when we were together. I began helping my mother at our old house but once it was finished and patients began swarming in I was of no use. At first I stayed around trying to learn but I couldn't handle it. Seeing so many people in pain like that was just unbearable. I was hunting for Gale in the morning's but it was becoming to easy. Gale had managed to create so many great snare that they pretty much do all the work for me and it only takes two or three hours at the most to collect the and reset the traps. Occasionally I find a reason to pull out my bow and shoot a few squirrels but it all seems so easy and it doesn't fulfill my hunger to actually do something. I take the load to Hazel and we talk for a while and I even help her wash some clothes but even she and Gale appear to be doing better with money. Maybe it was Haymitch's large pay that he gave her for cleaning his house or maybe it had to do with Gale working so hard in the mines. I tied to look for some sort of work around the hob but no matter how many people I tried to help no body seemed to really need my help. Sometimes I would make packages of breads and fruits and meats and leave it at the door steps of those families that I knew were going through a hard time but as much as I wanted to do it more often. I realized how dangerous it would be if I got caught. So I would only do it every once in a while. I tried helping out at the bakery but only when Nessa- Peeta's mother- wasn't around.I had gotten to know Peeta's oldest brother and we he reminded me so much of Peeta that I couldn't help to enjoy his company. I turned out to be no help at all to them though. I would burn the bread and even though I knew they didn't mind I would end up buying it and we had such a surplus of burned bread at my house that I couldn't continue making things worse for them. I was useless there was nothing left for me to do. Everyone around me was moving on and I was left behind. I began to understand why Haymitch began to drink to fill in the emptiness I felt. I refused to turn into him though. I tried spending time with him but he was unbearable. Especially now that he has cut down on his drinking. I would make him food and we would eat together but we had nothing to talk about and it began to be even worse than not having anyone around at all.

I had given up and finally time came around and Effie and Cinna and my crew were supposed to be here for a photo shoot. Even though I wasn't very excited to take a bunch of pictures,I was excited to at least have something to do other than sit around at home making food for Haymitch. I Had already showered and dressed in simple clothes knowing I would have to take it all off later. My hair had grown back and I knew today was going to be painful. I was putting a pot of tea to boil when I heard knocking on the door. When I opened it and saw Cinna I jumped up to hug. It was such a relief to see him. I have been so emotional lately all I could think about was how I was going to end up like Haymitch some day and the only relief I had was when He called me for the first time.

"Its good to see you." He says hugging me back. "How have you been?" he asks when I bring him in an serve him a cup of tea.

"Things have been okay..." I say.

"Whats wrong?" He says knowing I was hiding something. So I have no choice but to tell him.

"Things will get better trust me you wont end up like Haymitch. Maybe one day you can come live with me and we can design outfits together for your tributes." We laugh at the thought. When the rest of our crew arrives we get right down to business. They immediately start pulling out my hair and washing my skin. Cinna shows me all the high fashion dresses that are very dramatic with crazy colors and patterns. It doesn't compare to what the people wear in the capital but it is more than even I had gotten used to. While Effie is down stairs with al the workers who are setting up the background for my pictures I have to get ready. The more time passes and the closer I get to taking pictures the more nervous I get. This isn;t smile big and place you hand on your hip photos. These are pose and do other stuff that I don't even know how to explain. By the time Cinna places the first gown on me I'm a mess. I can barely control he shaking in my knees and hands and the gown is so heavy it's hard to hold myself out.

"Don't worry Katniss just do what the photographer says and you will be fine. You look beautiful." He says. The gown is blue the color of the water in district four. It flows and glistens just as the water did. This is the first dress I have worn that completely covers me. The neck line of the dress trails up in laces all the way up to my chin and it makes me feel as though I'm being choked. My hair is braided up around my head. Not in the way my mother did for the reaping but in a way that is tight and forms somewhat of a crown above my head. In all honesty I look ridiculous. Cinna and Flavius help me make my way down stairs. The dress is so tight I can barely move my legs. Cinna promises the next change will be down stairs so I wont have to be coming up and down the stairs in the ten pound dresses. A table had been layed out in our dining room. Its white and long and covered in platters of fruit. They werent the fruits that I was familiar with though these didn't grow in the forest. They were grapes and mangoes and pineapples fruits I had only seen in the capital. There were bright lights pointed at the table and it made me feel as though I was outdoors. There were tons of people placing even more fruits on the table and a man ordering them around.

"Ok Katniss I want you to climb up on the table." He says to me when I approach the table.

"but it's covered in fruit?" I say confused. Everyone just laughs as if the climbing onto of fruit was a usual thing.

"SOmeone make room for her to sit." He says to them and they stumble over each other to clear the fruit from the corner of the table they help me to sit on it with my feet dangling off the side and then they proceed to lay fruit on my lap. I was so confused, was I supposed to eat it?

"Okay now I want you to take a bunch of grapes and eat them." So I take off a green grape and pop into my mouth the juice was so sweet and foreign it felt amazing on my tongue. Everyone just laughs. A women approaches me and places the whole bunch of grapes in my hand. She tilts my head back so that I'm staring at the ceiling than lifts my hand so that a grape is hanging just above my lips.

"not pretend to take a bite of the that grape and close your eyes as if it is so delicious. I Place my teeth around the tip of it and close my eyes. I feel the flash of the camera but I don't open my eyes. That is how the rest of the day goes the woman will move me into a position and I would wait till the picture was taken then I'm moved in a different position. I do crazy things crawl over the fruit in the ridiculous dress take large bites of different fruits at one point I lay on al the fruit and they drape more over me. With every dress comes something different. I dress in a dark feathered dress and they actually take me out side and place colorful little birds on my head and shoulders. I roll around in grass and mud and they soak me in water by the end of the day by body had been covered in so many dresses and each dress was ruined in its own individual way. My body was sore from all the different positions I was in and my skin was sensitive from the waxing and the mud and the itchy grass. I was pecked at by birds and scratched by trees they had me climb in ridiculously heavy dresses. after it all Cinna allowed me to soak myself in a bath of some sort of creamy water. It tingled my skin but It was warm and relaxing. tomorrow would be the same and even though Cinna and Effie and my mother and sister assured me I did great I felt as though I did nothing. Cinna came to get me for a dinner that was prepared for my family and I and I wasn't ready yet but he somehow pulled me out of the bath washed the stuff from my body and dressed me in a soft cotton dress. Eating dinner with my family was nice, they had not gotten to eat any of the delicious food from the capital yet and they enjoyed every last bite. I have to agree that the food tonight was especially delicious. My sister had such a fun time watching me today and she was so excited over wanting to see the pictures and listening to her made me excited to too nd by the time we were eating desert of fruit dipped in chocolate I have become completely relaxed. There is a knock at the door which I offer to get expecting it to be Hyamitch wondering why I never f=brought him food. When I open the door I'm shocked to find Finnick. He doesn't wait to see my response he picks me up and hugs me tight.

"What are you doing here!" I say laughing with excitement.

"Effie called me she said the President asked for us to take a few pictures together so tomorrow is all about you and I. I'm sorry you have to share the spot light." He says playfully pulling on my braid.

"C'mon we were just having dessert." I say pulling him in the house. "This is My mother and my sister Prim." I say when we walk into the dinning room.

"It's nice to meet you Katniss has told me so much about both of you." He says shaking my mother and Prim's hand.

"It's nice to meet you too." They say. He sits next to me and he takes off the banana I had dipped in chocolate when the he knocked on the door off my plate and eats it.

"So how was the photo shoot so far?" He asks when no one else say's anything. This get's Prim talking.

"You should have seen her she looked so beautiful. I bet the pictures are going to be amazing." She say's enthusiastically.

"Really?" He say's surprised.

"What are you trying to say." I say giving him a little shove.

"Well your not exactly the girliest person I know." Prim and my mother laugh.

"Hey everyone in Panem believes I am!" I say fighting back even though I know he's right.

"Only because I taught you well. You were a mess before." He says laughing along with Cinna and my family. Even I can't help but laugh because I know he has won. They all begin to laugh at my expense. Finnick tells them the story of when I slipped and hit my head on the floor which they all find hilarious. He also has a few other's of when we were at the beach and times I tripped before going on stage. Prim and my mother don't have any stories about me to tell and that's when I realize I had never really had that much fun until I started hanging out with Finnick. I guess I had always been so serious because I always had a battle to fight. My mother probably does have a few stories of when I was younger and while my dad was alive but she knew they would be to painful to bring up.

"Well it's late I should get going." Finnick say's standing up from the table as we finish.

"Are you staying at Haymitch's house?" I ask wanting to ask him to stay here but with my sister and my mom in the house I know it wouldn't be right.

"Yeah I dropped my stuff off earlier. I will see you all in the morning." He smiles and walks himself out.

"I better get going too." Cinna say's standing up.

"Where are you staying?" I ask confused.

"They opened up one of the victors houses and we are all staying there."He says giving me a kiss. We all say our goodbyes and Prim gives him a hug which he gladly accepts.

"We should all get some rest." My mother says standing from the table which was already being cleaned. We all head off to bed and tonight I'm so tired I fall right to sleep.

I awoke to a bunch of rustling down stairs. There was a knock at my door and Cinna came in.

"Good morning Katniss time to get to work." He says pulling me out of bed and pushing me into the shower. When I step out I dry off and he steps in.

"Where is everyone else?" I ask curious I usually don't see him until my hair and nails are done.

"I let them go home they have somewhere to be and I don't need there help anymore." He says brushing out my mother comes in and hands me a plate with slices of bread and fruit and eggs I while Cinna drys and curls my hair and when he is done he focuses on my makeup today its different there are no crazy colors or dramatic blacks is soft and simple similar to the way he had me before the games. He covers my body in glitter something I always seem to have on. and when it comes to putting on my dress I am almost excited to wear it. Its not big of fancy. It is not covered in jewels and when I put it on its light and flows around me loosely. It was a dark blue and glistened softly it flowed behind me when I walked and draped over a single shoulder. I felt comfortable and free. Cinna once again helped me down the stairs Where Finnick stood dressed in dark dress pants and blue button up shirt in a color similar to my dress but not as vibrant.

"You look nice." He say's giving me a smile. Naturally I blush.

"Thanks. You dont look that bad either." We are led outside were a canopy had been built and was weaved with flowers of every color. The sun was out and it was warm but a cool breeze was blowing which made my dress flow gracefully around me. We do all sorts of poses together, hugging, and laughing he will hug me from behind and make funny noises in my ear so that I will laugh. We played around so much I dont know how they could get any good shots. At one point he tickled me and we ran around as he chased me. They didnt stop us though and I had almost forgotten they were there until it was time to switch scenes and outfits. Cinna took me upstairs and helped me into a short yellow dress it was also loose and flowed was just as light as the other one. I put on silver flats and he placed a big flowing hat on my head. it was made of woven straw and had a blue ribbon tied around it. When I stepped outside, Finnick had changed into shorts and a simple white shirt and a sort of picnic was set up in the grass.

"I like your hat." Prim tells me. She had just arrived from school and she was sitting in a chair off to the side. She gives me a big smile and I blow her a kiss. Finnick and I sit on the grass and he pretends to feed me fruit. This time I feel uncomfortable with Prim's eyes on me but after I pretend to feed him a strawberry covered in a sweet cream and when the picture is taken I smear the cream all over his face I relax at the sound of her laughter. In return he tackles me to the ground and tickles me until tears run down my face.

"Okay now I need you two to show me love." The photographer say's after a countless amount of pictures were taken of us playing. I wasn't really sure what he ment but Finnick pulled me closer to him and I was sitting in between his legs. I took off my hat and a woman came to take it from my hands. I leaned back into him and let his arms wrap around me. he would kiss me on the cheek and whisper things in my ear that would make me blush. The sun was beginning to go down when it was time for another outfit change. It was pink and didnt flow like the other dresses but it wasnt tight either. It was short it barely reached my knees. He curled my hair again and I go back outside to find lights hanging over my head they twinkle like stars and the sun had completely gone down. Prim was still sitting off to the side wearing the hat I worn earlier and she was eating slices of bread smeared with jam. Finnick had yet to show up so I go over to her.

"Can I steal a slice I am starving." the last thing I ate was breakfast and a few pieces of the fruit from the picnic but I was no were near satisfied and I could smell the aroma of food coming in from the kitchen and it only made my stomach growl more.

"Sure." She say's handing me half.

"You look better in that hat than I did." I say flicking it with my empty hand. She just giggles and tells me how beautiful I looked. When Finnick shows up he is wearing dark pants and another button up shirt. We take our places in the center of the grass and he pulls out a single flower and offers it to me. I pretend to giggle and take it from him even though flower is a weed and it only reminds me of Rue. We take a bunch of pictures dancing and laughing and playing around. At some point Prim leaves and I'm glad because it's dark out and Finnick and I have yet to have another kiss and it wouldn't feel right with Prim there. Finally we are asked to kiss. Finnick looks at me for permission even though it's not like I really have a choice. I nod him the okay and wrap my arms around his neck. I feel his hands wrap around my waist and I let my body fall gently into his. He leans down to my height and just presses his smooth lips to mine. The kiss is so soft and feathery it sends tingles down my spine. It reminded me of Peeta and the last kiss we shared, and just for a second he parts away and I pull him back. I think of Peeta and it's almost as if I was kissing him and I dont want it to end. I lean in more until I feel Finnick's lean muscles against my own and that's when I snap back into reality. This isn't Peeta he's the complete opposite big, and strong, muscular, and tough. Not that Peeta wasn't strong and he had a few muscle's of his own but they didn't feel like Finnick's. I pull out of the kiss and push him away until I remember we have Effie and all the capital people staring at us so I smile playfully.

"Later." I say giving him a wink. He just gives me a playful smile, but it's different. It doesn't reach his eyes. I turn looking for the camera man for our next instruction but instead I find another face. It was Gale watching me closely.

"Gale what are you doing here?" I stutter. Embarrassed by having him and Finnick here at the same time. I knew he had seen our kiss the look in his eyes said it all. I take a step away from Finnick pulling my hand out of his.

"Prim came to invite my family over for dinner tonight but my mother had already eaten and put the kids to bed and I had just gotten home so I came to have dinner with you." He say's almost accusingly. I try to make it seem like his appearance doesn't affect me but I'm sure my uncomfort is plastered on my face.

"Great." I say smiling at him. " Are we done?" I ask the camera man.

"Almost I want to get a few more pictures of you two going in for the kiss and a few of you laying down together." He says filing the camera with a new roll of film.

"Okay." I smile and try not to let it bother me, but when Finnick slides his arms back around my waist I nearly jump back. I try to relax my body and lean back into him but I can't it's almost as if someone were holding me back. I force myself to wrap my stiff arms around his neck and I take a deep breath.

"Okay Katniss I need you to relax your arm's a little and go ahead and lean back into his body the way you did earlier." I force his words to push me back against Finnick but when he leans down for another kiss I nearly faint. I could feel Gale's eyes burning into my skull and all I can hear is his words flowing over and over. I love you Katniss. I may not love him the same way but I would never want to rub this in his face. Then I realize how much he loves this, seeing my uncomfort is what he want's it's why he hasn't left it's why his eye's haven't left my face. I force myself to relax to not let him win. If he want's to play rough so can I. I tighten my arms around Finnicks neck, pulling him down closer to me. Then I fully relax my body and think only of Peeta. I close my eye's and imagine holding him in my arms just like this. I can almost feel his warmth and his soft cool breath against my face. I allow my hands to play with the hair on Peeta's neck and before I know it I'm pulling him down for another soft kiss. It was so soft I wasn't even sure if our lips ever touched but just the idea sent tingles flowing through my body all the way down to the tips of my toes.

"That's perfect Katniss." I hear him say through the clicks of the camera this pulls me back out of Peeta's arms and i am back in reality. "I think that is enough pictures." He say's and everyone claps. they were all tired from the long day and so was I. I am just about to unwrap myself from FInnick's arms when he tightens his grip on me pulling me closer and I feel his breath tickle my ear.

"We'll talk later." he whisper's before pulling away. A woman hands me a large coat wich I wrap around my numb shivering body. I turn to find Gale still staring at me. I couldn't tell the emotion in his eye's but I knew it wasn't happiness.

"C'mon lets go inside." I say giving him a small smile. I pray he can see the begging in my eyes. begging for him to forgive me, but if he saw it he definitely didn't show it. We walk into the house in a quiet silence. Everyone was picking up their things outside and I was surprised by how quickly everything was packed up. The table was still being set up and my mother was fussing over trying to help them while my sister and Finnick stood patiently to the side talking quietly. I' am just about to walk over to them when I hear the camera man call my name. I walk over to him and I feel Gale a few steps behind me following my every move.

"It was a pleasure working with you." He say's kissing me on the cheek.

"Thank you." I say kissing him back and giving him a small hug."You have made my wildest dreams come true." I hear Gale laugh behind me, and I pray he didn't hear.

"I look forward to working with you again." He say's giving my hand a small squeeze before he makes his way to the door. behind him follows his crew and they all give me a kiss on the cheek as they pass. When they all pass through the chefs come out and then the servers I thank them all they praise me as they go. Th house begins to empty and finally Cinna come down the stairs with a large case filled with all the supplies he had used on me.

"I restocked your closet with spring clothes and I left you the dresses. maybe you wont wear them but they will serve as good memories or maybe your sister will fit in them some day." He say's smiling he had clearly along with everyone else fallen in love with Prim.

"Thank you so much." I say pulling him into a hug. A tear rolls down my cheek because I have truly grown to love him.

"Hey don't worry this wont be the last time I see you." He say's hugging me tight. "I'll see you next time girl on fire." He says as he walks out the door. I blow him a kiss and we laugh. As I shut the door I finally relax. It's over. I walk into the dining room and find my family and Gale and Finnick all sitting down. They leave an open seat for me right in between Gale and Finnick. Great. My sister sit's next to Finnick as they chat away about who know's what, and my mother sits next to Gale as she asks about his family. I sit down and take a large bite of rice hoping to avoid any and all conversation, but of course it doesn't happen.

"So Finnick how did you and Katnniss meet?" Gale asks slurring his name as though it tasted disgusting. Finnick looks at me curiously asking me what he knows with his eye's.

"Finnick knows Gale." I say answering his question on what Gale knows. Which is more than what Finnick knows.

"So he's okay with making out with you so that you can get Peeta back?" My heart literally stops and I choke on my food.

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uh-oh someones in trouble. Poor Katniss she can't get a break. If I get five reviews by tomorrow morning I will post the next chapter at noon.I have the next four written already and if you are generous with your reviews I will be generous with my chapter.

Are they too sort?

Is anyone interested in being my beta?

Do you think I might have a shot at becoming a writer?

Thinking about doing a twilight fanfic waddaya think?

-love Marely


	11. Chapter 11

Ok here it is since you guys are so loyal. I got to warn you **Its about to go down.** Kinda...

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I had no idea what to say. Gale just threw me into the sharks he must have known Finnick didn't know everything he knows me well enough. This was his payback.

"What is he talking about?" Finnick say's looking at me accusingly and confused. Gale is just laughing next to me. I still can't find the words to reply and the meat forcing itself down my throat is so thick it felt like I had an entire chicken squeezing its way down my wind pipe.

"I thought you said he knew! Clearly you haven't had the chance to tell him so allow me to fill him in." He say's still laughing cruelly.

"Gale." My mother say's ready to step in, but unsure on how. This doesn't slow down Gale though.

"Peeta is alive it's the only reason she's doing all this. She want's him back and when she get's him you and I will be worth nothing to her anymore. Even though she has known us both longer it doesn't matter she will choose him. Or maybe you will have a chance she looked as though she enjoyed that kiss today enough. maybe you will get lucky and she'll let you stick around a little longer. None of it will matter though because all she wants is her precious Peeta." He say's. His word's are so cruel. So out of character it feels as though he has slapped me across the face.

"Gale!" My mother yells jumping out of her chair interrupting Gale just as he was about to say something else. He stands up places his napkin over his barely touched food and heads for the door.

"Thanks for dinner have a nice evening." He says slamming the door behind him.

I finally let the choked out cry. I'm gasping for air as the tears run down my face. I feel Finnick's arm on my back and it only makes the sounds worse. I push away his hand and bend over my plate covering my face as I make a horrible choking sound and I let out the tears that I had been holding back during his speech. I quickly jump out of my chair and run up to my room shutting the door behind me. I don't even make it to the bed before I collapse. Gale had never spoken to me like that. He had never sounded so disgusted in his life not even in his rant's about the capital. I understand he was upset and part of it is my fault. I had paused him over the edge with that kiss but even that couldn't have been worth throwing all our years of friendship out the window. I am so absorbed in my crying that I don't even notice the door open and my sister come in. I pull her into my lap when I feel her touch my hair and whisper my name. She places her face in my neck and I feel her warm tears trail down my glitter covered skin. She strokes my hair and I stroke her's and we both cry. She always cry's when I do but I know this time she is also so crying for the way she had seen Gale tonight. He wasn't just my friend he was her's too and even my mother's.

I felt the anger rush through me at the thought of him hurting my little sister. it as one thing to say all those thing's about me but it was unnecessary to say it in front of my sweet little Prim. I held her tighter in my arm's nd my tears had grown angry and eventually they stopped all together. I continued stroking her hair until I felt her grip around my neck begin to slowly soften and finally her breathing slowed and I knew she had fallen asleep. I carried her to her bed and shut the door behind me. It was time for me to explain to Finnick and I was scarred at the thought of him being mad at me. I headed over to my room and washed the dried tears from my face and dressed out of the flimsy tear stained dress. When I reached downstairs i found my mother and Finnick both sitting by the fire sipping tea and eating cookies. Finnick looked up at me sympathetically and I knew by that look that no matter what I told him he would somehow understand.

"Hey." I say in my horse voice. My mother looks up at me and stands up.

"I will let you two talk. Goodnight Finnick." She say's before coming over to me and giving me a kiss on the head and pushing a stray hand of hair behind my ear. "Goodnight." She say's to me before heading upstairs. I grab a cup and fill it with water from the sink before I take a seat in my mothers spot. They had both cleaned the kitchen and probably finished eating also. My plate was sitting on the counter untouched but I had lost my appetite.

"So today was interesting." He say's after a few moments of silence. I let out a small laugh.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything." I say finally finding the words.

"It's ok Katniss. I was shocked but I knew you weren't telling me everything from the beginning I could tell. I'm not mad. I understand." He says holding my hand in both of his.

" I just thought telling you everything would put you in danger and I didn't want that. I thought it would protect you. I'm sorry." I say ignoring him.

"Katniss really I am not mad. I understand." He say's squeezing my hand and I let out my sigh of relief. We sit there a few moment's. "Who was he?" He asked and I could hear the anger growing in his voice.

"A friend. the day you left he had... told me he loved me. He said seeing me with you and with Peeta had made him realize how much he cared about me. Thing's had never been like that between us and I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say. So we had been avoiding the conversation all this time. He never acted like that before..." I admit but for some reason I still feel the need to defend him.

"He shouldn't have done that. You deserve to be treated better." He says still angry.

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you like that today." I say.

"Is that why you did it? I have kissed you before and I might have been a bit drunk but this kiss was definitely different. I wont judge if you did it to make him jealous." He says. I feel the heat rise up to my cheeks at the memory of the kiss and how it must have looked.

"Of course not! I care about Gale. I don't want to hurt him. It all just happened." I say to embarrassed too admit the truth.

"Either way it's no excuse for how he acted." He says.

"Dont worry about it. I will handle it later..." I say taking a cookie off his plate.

"So the letter you received on the train..." He says drifting off.

"It was from Peeta." I answer his unfinu=ished question.

"Do you honestly think he is alive?"

"I know it I can feel it in his letters and his painting's."I say without a doubt." He is out there somewhere and I am going to get him back."

"Katniss there is something I need to tell you..."

"What is it?" I say eating another cookie.

"I haven't been completely honest with you either."He say's softly unsure.

"What do you mean?"I say confused.

"The capital... They have someone I care about too. That's why I have helped you..."

"What do you mean." I say confused.

"They took my mother away from me... years ago when I had gotten back from the Games. Ever since I have tried to get her back she was all I had left. A few years ago I fell in love with a girl. I stopped listening to the Capital I was convinced they had killed my mother and that they were just using me. I ignored all there requests and we were together a few months. One day I left her at home and when I returned she was gone. They took her and this time they never gave me an order. I have been doing my best for the past two years doing all the things they had asked me to do but they never said anything to me again. I know they are out there both of them and I need them. So when you told me I thought maybe that's what I had to do help you. Then when Effie called me and told me the President's request I knew I was right. I need to get them back." He says his voice broken at the memory.

"Than we are going to get them back." I say squeezing his hand. He gave me a small smile.

"I should go get some sleep." He says finally. When he leaves I head up to Prim's room and fall asleep with her in my arms.

I awake early to someone shaking me.

"Katniss wake up."He say's and the shaking continues. I force my sleepy eyes to open and find Finnick standing over me with his hands on my shoulders shaking me.

"Go away!" I say annoyed pushing his hands off me and rolling over away from him.

"Katniss its one in the afternoon and I am starving wake up." He says. I shoot right up at hearing the time.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier? How did you even get in my house!" I say getting out of Prim's bed.

"Your sister let me in when she left for school and I did try to wake you up. I have been trying for hours." He says exasperated.

"There's food in the kitchen you could have fed yourself."I say annoyed.

"I don't like to eat alone."He say's simply.

"I'll meet you down stairs." I say pushing him out. I quickly fix my sisters bed before heading over to my room to get ready. I put on a pair of tight black pants and a thin white shirt since it's probably hot outside. When I get down stairs I find Finnick waiting for me by the door.

"I want to go eat at that place that makes soups. The one you told me about." He say's patiently. I don't even argue because I still feel half asleep. I strap on my boots and we head out. I was right it was hot out. It was so hot I regret wearing these pants.

"So are you going to show me around today? Introduce me to all your friends?" He say's as we walk.

"You met my friend yesterday and there isn't really much to see here. I can show you around the hob...?"I say.

"You only have one friend?" He say's giving me a sympathetic look."and he's your cousin?" He says almost laughing.

"He's not my cousin, and yeah he's my only friends. Well I guess I have Madge but we haven't really spoken since the games so I don't know."

"Well why don't you take me to the woods and you can teach me how to hunt." He says. I think about it. Gale is really the only one I like to hunt with but after last night I don't want to see him.

"Okay. I guess we can try, but I don't have a trident so you are going to have to work with a bow and arrow." I say and he nods.

"I can learn." When we reach Greasy Sae's we both eat our soup. She doesn't seem to excited to see me and I am sure it has to do with what they saw on tv. Maybe she would have said something to me if it wasn't for Finnick being there. So we ate in silence and as we walked through the hob none of the people even looked me in the eyes. So I hurried out and rushed to the woods were I knew the tree's wouldn't hate me.

"People aren't very friendly here." He mutters to me when we reach the woods.

"They used to be but now they kinda hate me I guess it worked." I say and I crawl under the whole in the fence. He follows me through the woods and I am grateful for his light step. I imagine Peeta here scaring even the birds away. I find the hollow three were I hide my arrows and I continue until I find the other one my dad had left me with. I take out my knife and carve a little whole in the trunk of a tree.

"Okay there is your target." I say taking a few steps back untill I'm about five yards away. "Come here."

"Okay." He says coming over to me with the bow and sheath of arrows I had given him. I help him get into position which actually turns out to not be that hard. Finally he pulls back the string aims nd he lets the arrow fly. It lands a few inches away from the dot which is actually not to bad.

"Congratulations you just shot a squirrel in the but." I say and we laugh. I continue helping him and after about an hour he gets the hang of it he shi=oots the target or at least next to it and he does it all by him self.

"I bet you can't shoot the target as well as I can." He says impressed with himself. I step back a few more yards and get into a position and let the arrow fly until it lands right on the target.

"What was that you were saying?" I say giving him a light shove.

"I said I am way better than you with a trident."

We head out deeper into the woods and he manages to catch a rabbit. The poor rabbit get's a direct hit to the body but still its impressive for someone who just learned. I manage to take down a turkey and a few squirrels and by the end of the day we have a large load coming in from the traps Gale had set up. When we reach the fence and crawl under I convince Finnick to let me take the load over to Hazel. He is reluctant but I tell him about all his little brothers and sisters and he allows me to. I knock on her door with my arms full and Finnick stand behind me a few feet away. When she answers the door I just smile at her step in and drop off the bag and leave without a word. I am not mad at her but I decide it's best to let him decide whether or not he wants to tell her. We make our way to my house slowly talking. He tells me about his mother. When we walk into the kitchen my mother and sister are heating up the meal from yesterday that no one had really touched.  
"Where have you been Katniss." Prim asks me when she hears us coming in.

"In the woods Finnick wanted to learn how to hunt." I say as Finnick and I sit at the table drinking water.

"How are you?" My mother ask's cautiously.

"I'm fine."I say simply not wanting to be reminded of Gale.

"There is going to be a program to watch tonight I think its going to be your pictures!"Prim say's excitedly.

"Maybe..." I say but all I can think about is Gale. We eat and Prim and Finnick don't stop talking but I'm not listening because I'm haunted by Gale's words. I miss him already but I'm so mad. I'm not ready to forgive him. I can't even think about looking at him right now. When we finish eating we all gather around the tv and I sit next to finnick who sits next to Prim. "He puts his arm's around both of us and Prim just giggles. I lean into his warmth, and I know he can tell something is wrong but I stick around for Prim. My mother gives us all a slice of cake that she and Prim had picked up from the bakery and we all eat it while we wait to see the pictures. At exactly eight the capital symbol pops up and Caesar shows up on stage with a crowd of cheering fans. He gets the crowd all excited to see the pictures and finally a large banner drops behind him and a screen is shown. In the center is the picture of me and Finnick kissing under the twinkling lights. Off to the sides are pictures of finnick and i having the picnic feeding each other and dancing and hugging. The crowd loves it and caesar talks about what a great couple we make then the screen changes and its pictures of me. SOme were I'm covered in fruit or mud or birds. Theres one where I'm soaked in water. The crowds favorite seem's to be the one were I am laying on a tree branch and a dress flows down to the ground. My sister seems to love that one too.

"You look good." Finnick says tickling my side and I blush a little.

"Oh Katniss you look amazing." My mother squeals." You both look great."

When the crowd relaxes the President appears with a young boy holding a small box in his hands. Its time for them to pick the flavor of this years hunger games. The one thing that makes this hunger games ten times worse. The crowd is absolutely silent as he pulls a piece of paper from the box.

"This year to show that even beneath the wisest can fall even under the help of a leader. One tribute will be chosen from past victors, and two other tributes will be chosen from anyone over the age of eighteen." The world goes silent for a moment. Three tributes will be going in but one of them might be me. We all fall silent no ones knows what to say or what to do. So I do the only thing I can think of. I get up and I head over to Haymitch's house. When I step inside I hear him in the kitchen I walk over to him and find him sitting on the counter drinking from a bottle of white liquor. When he sees me he just laughs.

"It's either you or me sweet heart who do you think it's going to be?" He syas laughing so hard. I take the bottle from his hand and pour myself a glass I take a drink and sit up on the counter next to him.

"I know who it has to be." I say taking another drink. As much as I don't want to go. As much as I don't want my family to go through that again I know what I must do.

"Who?" He asks confused. This is the first time in weeks he's been drunk. He had just barely learned to control his drinking he didn't stop of course but he knew there was a time and place for it. This was obviously the time and place.

"You got me out of the games once. Your going to do it again."This sends him into hysterical laughing.

"Are you kidding everyone hates you!" He keeps laughing and there are tears running down his face. "Maybe I can get you a little help because your young but nobody will want to sponsor either of us!"

"Maybe your right but I need to go back." I say taking another drink. I don't want to tell him what I need to do and part of its because I'm not quite sh]ure but I know I need to do something. Gale was right it's time to fight if we don't do it now we will have to live another seventy-five years of suffering.

"Well it's a fifty-fifty shot." he says and pours me another glass we drink and somehow we end up laughing. I hear the door open and Finnick walks in.

"HEEY!" I yell at him when I see him. I hop off the counter and walk over to him. I throw my arms around his neck."Did you hear? You might have a chance at being star-crossed lovers with me!" I say laughing. "We should start practicing!" I say before I press my lips against his. I hear Haymitch laughing behind us and Finnick pushes me away softly after a moment.

"Are you alright Katniss?" He asks sitting me down on a chair.

"I'm great... are you ok?" I ask him.

"Katniss you should get some rest." He says picking me up.

"No I don't want to this might be my last chance to have fun and I want to share it with you!" I say kissing him again. "Have a drink Finnick you'll feel a lot better.I promise." He set's me down and takes my glass. He takes a small sip.

"Dont be such a girl Finnick!" Haymitch yells at him. Finnick takes the cup and downs it without a second thought. I laugh and give his head a shake to make it worse.. An hour later and we are all dancing on his counter. Eventually we begin to grow tired of course and I decide its time to go home. I am stumbling across our yards and when I reach my door it snaps open. Gale stands there staring at me with the cup in my hand as I stumble inside the door.

"Katniss..." he whispers taking in my appearance.

"Dont worry Gale it's all over you wont have to worry about me anymore because I'm never getting Peeta back. So you win!" I say throwing my arms around his neck."This is what you wanted right. Me? Well now you have me. Guess what?" I yell unwrapping my arms from his neck. "YOU LOST ME AGAIN!" I yell as I slap him across the face with all the strength I have. I stumble of course and he catches me unfazed by my hit he pulls me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Katniss." Just as I fall apart in his arm's I can't help the tears running down my face. I was scarred I was weak and I was about to compete against trained killers. He picks me up and carries me up to my bed as I sob against his chest. He sets me down on the bed and tucks me in.

"Dont leave." I say not letting go of his shirt. He sits down next to me and I cry against him until I fall asleep.

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Ok so five reviews and then I will post the next chapter.

As for the question of who Katniss is going to be with...I have no idea. She is going to try all of them and more. She wants this to be a Katniss/Peeta but I don't know I think she's getting a little to cuddly with Finnick. I haven't decided if Peeta will live or if he's even alive at all so I guess it could depend a lot on that but I don't plan on ending the story when she get's him back. I will make a sequel and I wil tell te story until she dies because I have a lot of troubles coming her way. Sorry I didn't really give you an answer but I don't have one so** stay tuned and see.**

-Love Marely


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry it took so long for me tog et the chapter out but my internet was messing up so we had someone come to fix it and I had to wait. Thanks or the reviews and here's the chapter!**

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There was a vile taste in my mouth and the light against my eyes wasn't helping. Suddenly the taste was revolting and I could feel my inside making their way up my throat. I run to the bathroom and I throw up until there is nothing else in me. I lay down against the cool tile floor and it feels good against my cheek. After a minute I fill the tub with cold water and crawl in. I lay in the cold water fully clothed. There's a knock at the door and my mother and Prim walk in. They undress me wash my skin and hair then help me dress and walk me back to my bed. My mother hands me a cup of tea and a slice of bread. I drink the tea and ignore the bread. they leave my room and I sit there trying to put together last nights memories. The fact that I am going back into the games is what forces me out f bed. I head down stairs and my mother and Prim are sitting at the table eating and talking quietly. When I walk in they stop which only confirms that they were talking about me.

"How are you feeling?" My mother asks as I pour myself more tea and sit down.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry about last night." I say ashamed at the thought of Prim seeing me like that.

"It's ok Katniss." My sister say's squeezing my hand.

"I need to talk to both of you." I say holding both of their hands. "I'm going back into the games no matter who's name is drawn."

"What do you mean... you want to go into the Games?" My mother asks confused.

"Katniss you can't Haymitch can go he's not living for anything you have us." Prim says desperately gripping my hand tighter.

"Katniss you need to think this through. You may be young and you have that advantage over all the other victors but you are going up against thirty-six people. This is different you can't win this time." My mother say's becoming angry.

"I have to do this you don't understand but I am going to end this I dont know how but I will." I say standing up.

"What about Peeta they will kill him." My sister says grabbing onto the one thing that could hold me back.

"They might kill him anyways I don't know but I have to try. Gale was right this is our chance. I have a plan." I lie."You will both have to trust me." I say gripping onto their hands. "I'm going to end this." My sister stands up and wraps her thin arms around me. I hug her close and I feel my mother wrap her arms around me. We stand there holding each other. I'm glad that somehow we had grown closer despite the circumstances.

"I trust you." I hear my sister whisper and I grip her tighter. My mother eventually let's go and runs upstairs. I hear her door slam and I feel bad about upsetting her but I know what I have to do.

"i'll go talk to her." Prim say's. I nod and kiss her head.

"Thank you." I say wiping away her tear she just smiles and heads upstairs. I take the pot of tea and head over to Haymitch's house. Where I find Haymitch on the ground passed out and Finnick sitting on the counter drinking coffee. He looks as though he just got out of the shower because his hair was dripping down his face.

"Hey..." I say sitting next to me. The house was a mess there were things smashed and broken glass and empty bottles.

"How are you?" He asks as I brush his hair back from his face.

"I'm okay...you?"

"I'm fine. I have to go." He says standing up.

"Your leaving?" I ask confused.

"My train will be here in an hour I want to stay but I can't." He says that's when I notice his bags by the door.

"I'll walk you there." I say and we leave Haymitch on the floor.

He takes my hand as we walk and I lean against him. I won't see him till the games and for some reason I know I will see him there. When we finally get there he pulls me into a tight hug.

"Good luck." He says kissing my head.

"you too." I mutter and all I can think about is all the kissing he and I did last night. He just steps on the train when he turns around and blows me a kiss. I smile and pretend to catch it. We laugh and then he is gone. I walk home slowly taking my time. When I get there my mother is waiting for me sitting in front of the door. When I get there and she doesn't say anything or move I sit down next to her. I let her wrap her arm wrap around my shoulders and I lean against her.

"Katniss I'm sorry. For everything all those years that I left you alone. I'm sorry you had to become the parent. I love you." She say's and that's when I realize she's crying.

"I know mom... I don't blame you... not anymore I understand." I say stroking her hair.

"I don't want you to die Katniss I still need you." She says desperately holding onto me.

"I wont! You have to trust me this is the only way I can fix things this is the only way we can live peacefully again." I say grabbing a hold of her and looking her right in the face.

"Fine but if you are going. You are going to train. You must. This time your are not going in unprepared. You have two months to gain weight and muscle and all that stuff do you promise me you will do that?" She says urgently squeezing my hands so hard that they hurt.

"Deal." I say squeezing her back. The rest of the day we spent setting up a schedule. We considered everything the food I will need for my diet. I will eat lots of bread -not that I don't already. Eating bread in a way makes me feel closer to Peeta- I will also eat grains and lots of meat. Haymitch showed up and he agreed to help me train and he tells me ways to get muscle by the end of the day we have my next two months planned out. We eat dinner and Haymitch is actually there. We talk about me and we joke around I suggest I wear all the heavy dresses Cinna left me. Maybe they would help. After dinner Haymitch decides to leave and when I walk him to the door Gale appears tired and dirty.

"I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart."Haymitch says walking to his house leaving us alone. I shut the door behind me and sit down on the grass with Gale.

"I'm sorry Katniss all those things I said I didn't mean them I was being stupid. I was jealous and angry at him and at you, but I know it's no excuse but please Katniss you have to forgive me..." He pleads gripping my hand in his. I want to be angry and I still sort of am but I have two months left with him and god forbid I don't come back. I don't want to regret not spending time with him now that I have the chance.

"it's alright Gale...let's just forget about it."I say not meeting his eyes. I decide I wont tell him. He doesn't need to know that I want to go to the games it will upset him, and right now I need his help.

"i'm so sorry about everything that has happened Katniss I promise I'm going to help no matter what you need I will do it." He says desperately.

"Stop working at the mines. We can support both of our families easily. I can't bear the thought of you being down there underground. Please Gale I'm begging you." He looks away from me looking out at the distant woods.

"Alright if that's what you want... but I wont just take your money Katniss I need to do something in return. I can help your mom at the little hospital she has built at least." I consider this trying to think of something else.

"Help me I need to get bigger...stronger for the games. Help me with that." I say finally. He considers this for a minute.

"Okay." He says and then pulls me into a hug.

"Last night... did you and I ...kiss?" I ask unsure I was almost positive we didn't but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.

"No of course not. Why were you doing a lot of kissing?" He asks and I can't help the blush that rises to my cheeks at the reminder of kissing Finnick.

"I just wanted to make sure." I said standing up. "I should go to sleep. Be here at eight." I say. He gives me one last hug before he makes his way home.

That night my mother, Prim, and I slept together in my room holding each other closely savoring every last second together. The next day I awoke with them and got ready and ate my hearty breakfast. It was a lot more food than I was used to eating in the mornings in fact sometimes I would skip break fast all together so by the time I'm done I feel sick but I force the food to stay down. Gale shows up right on time and I make him wait a while for my food to go down before we head out. Haymitch meets us outside. He looked tired but he forced himself to stay awake. We began running and Gale got the idea of stuffing backpacks with rocks and making us run with them on. Haymitch was slow and got tired easily, and even though I made it longer than him my body wasn't used to all this physical exertion. So even though I made it to the finish line It would take several minutes for me to recover. It took two weeks before I finally began to increase the amount of weight I carried and the second it would seem easy I would lit and carry more weight I would run farther and I pushed myself to the limit. Finnick would call every night and we would talk for a while he had also began to train and I was scarred he would end up going into the Games with me. My mother and Prim continued sleeping with me every night and I began taking cold baths at night to soothe my sore body. My mother asked me to slow down and even Gale had stopped pushing me so hard but I pushed myself harder. I lifted heavier weights and climbed taller trees I ran faster carrying a hundred pounds of rocks on my back. Nothing ever seemed to be enough. The more I worked the more time passed, and as time went on I began to get more scarred. I would stare around at the people around me hoping it wouldn't be anyone I knew I hoped it wouldn't be someone I loved. I pushed those thoughts aside and I focused on working harder. Time went by so fast before I knew it there was only a few days until the reaping. Today was the day I was going to have my last weighting. When I started off I weighed barely 110 with my shoes on. It was depressing compared to the two-hundred pound monsters that I'm going to see in the arena. I still haven't figured out my plans and my times running out but I will know when I get there. I hope.

I was waiting for my mother to come home and I couldn't stop my hands from shaking I was overcome by fear. I had two days until the reaping and I had no idea what would happen once I got in the arena. Peeta had stopped sending me letter and this morning I received what would most likely be his last because by the time he receives mine chances are I will already be in the arena. He made it obvious that he understood this was his last letter depending on what happened. I decided not to tell him I wanted to go in. He would only try to stop me the way Gale would. Haymitch told me during training today that he had also received a letter. Peeta had begged him to take my place but there's a fifty-fifty shot my name will get called and he will volunteer for me but I already explained to him what I wanted to do, but today he seemed so unsure and I am worried that whatever Peeta said had convinced him to reconsider. If his name got called I would volunteer and he would have no control but a part of me wishes that I wont have to do that. It would hurt Gale and Peeta to think I willingly went in for Haymitch. It would only make it harder for them. Peeta didn't say much in his letter. He talked about how much he loved me and how much he missed our days together. He said he wished we were back in the games just so that he could see me one last time. I had written my letter and I told him I love him and that no matter what happened to keep on trying to come home for me. I told him that no matter what happened he always be in my thoughts and he was. everything I did reminded me of him because every step I take would determine him coming home. My mother was supposed to be here two hours ago but she sent Prim to tell me she got a man from the mines who got burned and half of his skin was completely ruined so she would be late. I was sitting on the couch nibbling on bread trying to get a little extra weight before the I got my final results. I had been waiting ever since I would alternate between eating and lifting weights and I would just stare at myself in the mirror. I hadn't gained a lot of weight but I had gained a lot of muscle. I still didn't compare to the careers but I stood a much better chance than I had last year. I had also been focusing a lot on knives. They have seemed so much easier to hide and carry that I had put a lot of attention to them and I have gotten pretty good.

I had just bit into another loaf of bread when I heard a knocking at the door. I stood up and when I answered the door I was surprised to find the same man that dropped off Peetas letters. He handed me a note and walked away quietly the same way he always did and I shut the door behind him. I didn't expect another letter from Peeta but maybe it was from the capital. The seal was different It was a squared stamp with intricate swirls I could almost make out a number three but I could just be imagining it. I unfolded the letter curiously and I was scarred of what I might find. But inside hand written in a black ink was a few simple sentences. The hand writing was written with a careful hand. I have never seen it before. I read the words over and over not understanding it at all.

**_Keep as many as you can alive, we know you can. We will take care of the_**_ rest._

Who is "we" and what do they mean keep them alive. Do they mean my family and friends or the tributes that are about to try and kill me. What are they going to take care of. My family? Peeta? The tributes? Maybe its just a joke a message from someone trying to start a war or someone who is trying to get me killed for following what it says. Maybe it's a capital trick to see if I am really trying to be loyal to them or if I am faking to get Peeta back and start a revolution against them. It did come from their messenger. I am just about to crumple it up knowing for sure it's a trick when I see it. It's so tiny and barely visible but it bottom right corner there is an imprint. Almost as if something was pressed so hard into the paper that it left dents. I could only see the words over the light of the flickering fire in front of me.

**District Thirteen**

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**Okay so I know the chapter was really short but I will post the next one by tomorow if I get some good reviews.**

**Reviews**

**ImaginationStation00-I am actual team Peeta and Katniss I believe opposites attract and I really love Peeta he is so sweet. I also like Katniss and Finnick I don't know why he just is so sexy. **

**THFAN- I LOVE THAT YOU US ALL CAPITALS. THANKS SO MUCH.**

**Guest- I already have planned who she is going in with let' see if you are right.**

**Lya200- Its three people for district.**

**And to the two other guest's and HG23- I have no idea why you dont want her to be with Peeta that s kinda what the story was about. You will have to wait and see who she does end up with. I don't even know so good luck guessing ;P**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW don't be shy! **

**-Love Marely**


	13. Chapter 13 The Reaping

I felt someone shaking me awake and I open my eyes slowly. it was my mother.

"Good morning." She says giving me a small smile.

"Good morning. What time is it?" I ask.

"It's nine o'clock right now. You need to get ready. Do you want me to make you breakfast? Or will you wait until you are on the train?" She says as I sit up.

"I will eat on the train can I have a cup of tea though and maybe a slice of bread with the jam you make?" I ask getting up and heading to the bathroom.

"Of course you go ahead and take a shower I will have it ready when you come out."She says smiling and walking out of my room. I take a quick shower and I use the hair dryer Cinna left me to try my hair since I will be on cameras soon. I pick a dark green sun dress that has white spots all over it and a red ribbon around my waist. I still need to keep up with my appearance for the cameras. I take a big flowly hat that is similar to the one I wore at the photo shoot but this one has a red ribbon around it. I look through the makeup Cinna left me but I have no idea what to do with it so I just leave without it. I do wear the diamond ring instead of the necklace because the necklace is very constricting and it makes me uncomfortable. When I look at the ring I realize that the band is actually engraved. Underneath the diamonds if you flip it over my mockingjay is engraved into it and around the band it says girl on fire. The ring is rond and it shines brightly in the light. It's almost impossible to miss. when I get down stairs my mother and sister are waiting for me.

"You look amazing Katniss." My sister says smiling at me. She was wearing a light blue dress with a lace collar. I had brought down a diamond necklace and a silver chain bracelet that had little sapphires hanging off it. I place the bracelet on Prim's wrist.

"You couldn't be more radiant." I say kissing her. Before I turn to my mother. I place the necklace around her neck. She was wearing a dark red dress that went past her knees. Today her name would be in the reaping ball but I didn't worry because when she was younger she never took tesserae so her name will only be entered once.

"You look beautiful too mom. Dad would have loved to see you." I say holding her hand she squeezes it and I sit down and we eat our bread in silence. We walked in silence and when we got to the stage where I will soon be standing we split up. Today Haymitch and I were being set a side to left of the stage where a small platform was placed. They took our blood before leading us to it. My sister was standing off to the side and I could see her worried face. My mother was standing in front of the stage along with all the other adults. I can see gale and his mother and she was holding his hand tightly. I could see now that prim was holding Posy in her arms. I couldn't see anyone else but I knew they were there. I took my place on the small platform with Haymitch he didn't look nervous because he knew what I was going to do. I can see the two bowls with a the little slips with names in them. Our bowl only held two slips but the other was larger and was filled almost to the rim. The mayor stepped up on stage and read the same speech he does every year. I don't pay attention until Effie steps u to the mic.

"Hello District twelve!" She says in her usual cheery voice. " Welcome to the seventy-fifth Hunger games, and may the odds be ever in you favor." She says smiling. I keep a straight face and I am glad that my hat covers my eyes. because I am nervous that Haymitch will ruin my plans. "Lets start with our Victors." She says walking over to the bowl filled with our names. She sticks her hand in and plays around with the two slips until finally she pulls one out.

"Katniss Everdeen." She say's smiling. I make my way onto the stage and I am glad that Haymitch doesn't say anything. I give a small smile and they all clap. "Alright let's choose our other two tributes. " She says walking to the other bowl. She dips her hand in and pulls a slip that was sitting right on top. I place the hat back on my head to hide any expression I might make. She opens the paper.

"Hazel Hawthrone." She says and my heart stops because I know what will happen next. I look for Gale but I dont see him. I see Gale emerge from the crowd and slowly make her way to the stage before I hear it.

"I volunteer as tribute." He says finally emerging from the large crowd. He comes out running and puts his hand on his mothers shoulder. She looks at him and gives him a small smile. There is no way she could have left her kids behind. Gale gives her a kiss and makes his way on stage. He comes over to stand next to me.

"What is your name?" Effie ask's him.

"Gale Hawthrone." He says in a strong voice. He clearly doesn't want to appear weak either.

"Well I bet that was your mother. What are the odds two years in a row a volunteer how exciting." The crowd does the exact same thing they did to me last year. The remain silent and then they all pay there respects. Gale looks ahead avoiding mine or anyone elses' eyes. I want to hug him and hold his hand to reassure him but I can't. Not here. I barely pay attention to Effie as she pulls out the next name but i snap back into reality when I hear the name.

"Parker Mellark." He emerges from the crowd and just like Peeta no one volunteers. He steps up on stage and everyone gives the polite applause and next thing I know we are all being escorted to a room for our goodbyes. My mother and sister emerge and we are given five minutes. We don't say a word and we hold each other until the peacekeeper arrives.

"I love you." I say giving them both a kiss.

"Be careful." They say as they are pulled out of the room. Hazel appears and she pulls me in for a tight hug.

"I will take care of him I promise. My mother she will help you and everything will be alright I promise." I whisper into her ear. I give her a kiss.

"Thank you Katniss." She says before they pull her out. I am waiting in the room for a long time. I wonder if maybe Gale and Parker were given more time to say goodbyes then I was. It was probably since I knew I could go in and they didn't. I worry that I can't take care of both but I realize I wont need to. They are both big and strong they put up a bigger threat than I do. Finally the Peace keepers come in and escort me to the train. Inside Gale and Parker are sitting on the couch silently. Neither of them look as though they cried and they dont even notice my appearance. I sit next to Gale and hold his hand and finally he looks up into my eyes.

"everything will work out." I say and kiss his cheek. Effie and Haymitch appear and Effie suggests we watch the other reaping's. We all sit down and once again I sit in between Gale and Parker. Gale is still holding my hand and I place my other over Parkers. he looks up into my eyes and I can see the worry in his eyes. I give him a reassuring smile but I don't know what to say to him. We watch the reaping but I don't think any of us are really paying attention. It's not until we watch district four when I really focus. I lean forward and let go of Gale's hand. When the Victor is drawn I let out a sigh of relief when it's not Finnick. It's an elder woman named Madge but then I see the look in Finnicks eyes. He had been holding her hand and he was looking down. As she slowly made her way to the stage with he help of her crane Finnick snaps up and volunteers. Madge protests but she knows there's nothing she can do. He helps her back to the podium before he makes his way on to the stage. She must have ment a lot to him if he volunteered when I asked him not to. Two other girls are drawn they are both young about nineteen or twenty they must be friends because they are holding each others hands while they cry. I stand up and walk away when they move on to another district I walk over to my room and shut the door behind me. I let out all my tears. All my worries come out. I don't have to only worry about keeping them and myself alive but I have to worry about Gale and Finnick killing each other. Then I think of my family and I cry even more and then I think of Hazel and it only makes it worse. I cry for everyone and everything that has happened. I cry for all the things I pushed to the back of mind because they were too painful to think about.

When I'm done I feel empty. I hear a knocking on my door and its Effie calling me in for dinner. I wash my face and get rid of all the sadness. My crying days are over I have cried way to much his last year and now I need to get my act together. I step out of my room and take my seat at the table with Gale and Haymitch. Effie turns out to be the only one talking she is talking to Parker and Gale telling them all of the great things they will see in the capital Gale couldn't care less but Parker does his best to put on a smile for her. Haymitch doesn't look me in the eyes. Gale barely even looks away from his food even he has to admit that it is delicious. When we finish I can tell that Gale and Parker are both sick from the food exactly the way Peeta and I were. I on the other hand didn't have much of an appetite and even if I did I have been eating this rich food the whole year now so my stomach can handle it. When we finish Effie excuses herself and goes to her room Haymitch on the other hand just sips his glass of wine.

"Hey." I say placing my hand over his. "Thank you."

"I know." He says before standing up grabbing the bottle of wine and leaving to his room. He knew what? That I was thankful? No it went much deeper than that. Maybe he knew why I needed to go in. I don't know.

"I'm going to bed." Gale says standing up. He has been avoiding me it's obvious.

"Goodnight." Parker and I say quietly. It was just he and I now.

"How are you?" I ask him as I take a drink of wine which I had actually grown to like.

"I'm ok a little bit worried but I'm glad it was me and not my parents or someone old and fragile." He say's looking out the window at all the land that is going so fast you can barely make out anything but colors.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's horrible. I though I was done. with all of it the tours the capital everything was over and now I'm back." I say tracing the rim of my glass.

"Same here... I was so relived when I turned nineteen. It was supposed to be over and now here I am. It's ok though. I had no life nothing that mattered. I don't have a girlfriend or a job I'm not going anywhere. I feel bad for Gale he does have a family and a job he has something to live for..." He say's sadly and I can't hep but smile. He is so worried over someone he doesn't even know.

"We should get some sleep tomorrow is going to be a long day of waxing and grooming. Maybe not as much for you but I am absolutely going to have some probblems."I say and he laughs. We both get up from the table and I walk him to his room.

"Goodnight. I will see you at breakfast." I say before turning to leave.

"Katniss?" He says. I turn round and he pulls me into a hug. "Goodnight." he says and turns around and closes the door. I leave to my room and get in bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling but all i can think about is Gale and why he refused to look at me. Finally I can't take it anymore and I head over to his room. I knock on the door but nobody answers. So I slowly open it Gale is sleeping I sit on the floor next to his bed. He is laying face down and he looks so peaceful. I push the hair out of his face and he slowly open his eyes.

"What are you doing here." he says waking up. He sits up and rubs his eyes. I get off the floor and sit at the edge of the bed.

"I don't know. I guess I came to see if you were ok?"

"I'm fine." he say's looking down.

"No you aren't. Gale its ok it's me. Talk to me." I say holding his hand.

"I just. I want to be with my family, but in order to do that I would have to kill you and I can't do that because you are my family." He says helplessly.

"Do you trust me?" I ask a few moments after.

"Of course."He says confused.

"Then trust me when I tell you the everything will work out. I don't know how but it will."

"Okay. It's not like I can do anything else." He says after a moment of consideration. I smile at him.

"Okay goodnight." I say kissing his head and leaving to my room. I relax now but I still don't fall asleep as easily. I miss my mother and my sister and It hasn't even been a day. I lay in bed for a while but I eventually fall asleep.

I wake up early. No one else is awake yet but I can't go back to sleep. I go into the dining cart and there is a bunch of capital people setting breakfast up. I grab a cup of hot chocolate and a small loaf of bread and sit down to eat it. Eventually Effie shows up in one of her ridiculous outfits then its Gale who is still wearing his pajamas. We sit down and start eating breakfast when Parker shows up dressed in an outfit similar to mine. Haymitch of course is the last one to show up.

"So what is going to be our strategy?" I ask him as we all eat in silence.

" I don't know what do I have to work with?" He asks eating.

"Gale is really good with a bow and arrow and a knife he has had as much practice as I have. He also makes amazing snares he is very clever." I say talking him up the way Peeta did with me.

"Okay what about you?" he asks Parker.

"I make bread." He says shrugging. I smile at the thought of Peeta and how he thought his only advantage was baking.

"Can you decorate as good as Peeta?" I ask him and he bursts out laughing.

"Yeah I guess I have had just as much practice as him but I don't know how it will help. " He say's when he is finished laughing.

"Peeta stayed alive for days hidden in a pile of rocks because he knew how to camouflage that can save your life as well." Haymitch say's.

"He is right don't underestimate yourself." I say.

"I guess." He say's shrugging.

"Alright so once again I don't want you to resist you'r stylists. Gale, Parker I need you two to do whatever it is they ask you to do. I mean it if you resist I wont help you." He says looking them straight in the eyes. They both agree.

"We are here!" Effie say's excitedly. Gale gets up to go change and Parker stairs out the window at the city. I go to my room to retrieve my ring. When I come out the train has stopped and we are about to be escorted into the building. Our stylists immediately meet us and we are split up. My team is happy to see me they give me hugs and kisses and they tell me how sorry they are to see me here again just sit their quietly while they wax me shower me it's not until Cinna shows up to lunch that I truly get happy. We eat a delicious lunch and Cinna tells me about the change in the ceremony. Gale and Parker will be dressed in the usual coal outfits and they will be put in a cart. I will be separated and instead of defining my district I will be defining myself. Once again I will be on fire. How exciting. When we are finished with lunch my team comes back and they begine working My makeup is dark and defines my face making my jaw look exaggerated and my nose seems long my eyes look stretched out and they place long fake sharp nails on my fingers. They look like claws. they braid my hair tightly into my head in a way that makes me look like I have no hair at all. When it comes to putting on my outfit I truly understand what they are doing. They are making me into a mockingjay. It's a black dress covered in feathers and reaches the floor my arms are covered in long feathers and when I lift my arms I realize they are supposed to be wings On my head they place a dark crown covered in more feathers. When i look at myself I look exactly like a mockingjay it's unbelievable. When they take me back stage I look around for Gale and Parker and when I see them I nearly laugh. They are wearing a blue minors outfit but it is unbuttoned so you can see there chests there faces are covered in black streaks that make them look dirty and they are wearing glowing hats which I guess are supposed to be their lights.

"Wow you guys look..." I say looking for an encouraging word.

"We look ridiculous." Gale says walking away. When he leaves Parker and I just laugh. Cinna had told me they had no control over what they were wearing and he was only in charge of me.

"You look amazing Katniss." He say's smiling at me.

"Thanks. I just wish this dress wasnt so heavy." I say.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Mockingjay." I hear a voice say behind me and when I turn around I find Finnick eating the sugar cubes they feed to the horses. I dont hold back I jump into his arm's and give him a big hug.

"I missed you so much." I say.

"I'm sorry I volunteered I know I promised that I wouldn't but I couldn't let Madge go in." He says hugging me tightly.

"It's okay I understand." I say pulling away and taking one of the cubes.

"You look amazing Katniss." He say's getting a god look at me. That's when I get a good look at him. He is covered in some sort of gold dust and there is a net wrapped around his waist and one of his shoulders his Hair looks gold and he looks as though he is glowing. He looks like Poseidon. With a big trident in his hand.

"You look really good too." I say trying to avoid looking at his muscular chest.

"Thank's." He says laughing. Just then Cinna shows up and leads me to the black cart with black horses that I will ride on. It looks like Parker and gale had already left and now all that's left are the victors. I can't see them from here and I wonder how they are doing. I can see Finnick getting in his white cart with blue and gold trim Then I see a man light his trident on fire. The fire was blue flames coming off the tip of the trident. I see a few other tributes dressed up a woman who looks like some sort of lion. A man in a suit with electric currents running all over his suit. Another woman with a pick dress and pony tails but when she turns and I get a look at her face I nearly jump back she looked evil with dark makeup and fierce eyes.

Cinna helps me into the cart and when I step on it he fixes my dress and flips a switch at the bottom of my dress and little flames appear at the tip of every feather on me.

"You look great. Dont wave at anyone okay? They are all beneath you." he says giving my hand a reassuring squeeze before stepping off. I wait and watch as the victors round me slowly disappear. I am the last one once again and I know my dress will leave a big impression. When the carriage rides out into the lights the crowd goes wild they scream my name and throw flowers at me but I don't move. I take a look at myself in the screen and I realize how amazing I do look. I look fierce and strong and beautiful all at the same time. I keep my chin held high until the end. I don't look around nd ignore my name being called. I do not pay attention to the President and it's not until I arrive back stage again that I relax. Cinna doesn't appear so I turn it off my self, and step off the cart I find gale and Parker talking in the corner and I am on my way to approach them when the girl with the pink dress bumps into me. She made it seem like an accident but it clearly wasn't.

"Oops." She say's and continues walking off. I ignore it.

"You looked amazing Katniss." Gale say's.

"Yes you did." I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders and I know it is Finnick.

"Thanks." I say uncomfortable. His arm feels like a hundred pounds. I step away and we all make our way to the elevator. When we step in the woman in the pink dress appears and squeezed herself inside.

"Ugh I feel like an idiot in the outfit." She say's loudly taking down her ponytails.

"Well if the shoe fit's." I say and I hear finnick and Gale and Parker laughing behind me. She looks at me and smirks before turning around and unzipping her dress. She stands there naked in the elevator. I try not to let it bother me but I am so uncomfortable because she is so close to me. Finnick is the first off the elevator and he smiles at me and tries to give me a kiss on the lips but i turn and he ends up kissing my cheek. I know he is trying to make Gale mad. He never got over what he said to me that night.

"Goodnight Katniss." he says and steps off. I take the chance to scoot back to the spot were he was standing but it seems like forever until she steps off. When she does and it's just us I feel exhausted my dress is so heavy and I can barely support it. I unclip my head piece which was beginning to give me a head ache. When we step off the elevator I am so relieved. I head over to my room and take off my outfit. When I take it off I feel a hundred pounds lighter. All the weight was literally taken off my shoulders. I dressed in pajamas and wash the makeup off, and pulled my hair out of the tight braid. It took awhile to find where they ended but when I finished my hair fell in a wavy mess around me. I ran my hand through it a few times and left it down before I stepped out of my room. They were all sitting at the table ating when I arrived. I say next to Parker and Haymitch and a big platter of food was served to me. No one said anything and for a while neither did I. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"So what do you want us to do tomorrow in the training center. Tell me now so that I can sleep in. Am I supposed to hide my talents... or should I show off?" I ask Haymitch hoping it will start some sort of conversation.

"Intimidate them. You are so small and look fragile but you are tough but don't focus too much on weapons you know how to work with weapons. You need to focus on other things like edible plants and how to set up snares." He says carelessly.

"What about Gale and Parker? Should they do the same?" I ask confused.

"Yeah you guys can make a nice team with Finnick very intimidating." He say's reassuringly." I am going to bed. Goodnight." He says with the bottle of wine.

"Is he always so careless?" Parker ask's when he is gone he is clearly upset.

"It could be worse." Effie say's. "At least he isn't drunk in public anymore." She says before standing. "I am also going to bed."

"You aren't staying for desert?" I ask confused.

"No I don't feel to well I will see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Okay..." I say still confused. Why were they avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?

"Are they always like that?" Parker asks.

"No I don't know why they are being like that... Well lets eat desert." I say trying to change the mood. An avox brings it in and he sets it down on the table It was a large cake covered in fruits and icing. We each get a slice and eat.

"So tomorrow do you want to go in as a team or are you more comfortable if we work separately?" I ask even though they need to be on my team if they want to live.

"Why wouldn't I be on your team?" Gale ask's.

"I don't want to go in alone. You know what it's like in there. I'm better off with you" He say's and I am relieved he want's to go in with me. I can't let him die.

"Ok good so we have a good team. " I say happily. "Do you know how to use any weapons?" I ask Parker. "I know Peeta was good with a knife.

"No I'm not I rarely even use a knife to cut fruit." He say's and Gale almost laughs.

"That's ok we can teach you. Can you wrestle?" I ask remembering Peeta on the mat wrestling the teacher.

"Yeah actually I taught my brothers everything they know." He says happily.

"Great I will trade you I will teach you how to work a few weapons and you can teach me to wrestle. Deal?"

"Yeah that sounds cool." He says smiling at me.

"We should get to bed it's late." Gale says standing up. I take a last bite of the cake before standing up too.

"I will see you in the morning." Parker says walking away to his room. Gale and I walk over to my room.

"Can I talk to you?" Gale say's.

"Yeah." I say and pull him into my room.

"Do you have feelings for Finnick? Be honest." He says looking me in the eyes. He didn't seem mad but more worried.

"No I don't. Why would you think that?" I say confused.

"I saw the way you hugged him today." He say's looking away from me.

"I don't. We are just close. try nd get to know him you will like him." I say giving him a small smile.

"Okay I believe you. Goodnight." He says opening the door.

"Goodnight." I say shutting the door behind him. I barely have time to turn around when the door opens again and he pulls me in for a kiss. His lips are sweet like the cake. I wrap my arm's around his neck and pull him closer. I didn't feel the tingle but It felt nice none the less.

"Goodnight." I say when he finally pulls away and I push him out. I shut the door and climb in bed, and I fall asleep quickly.

In the morning I cant help but to wake up early. I take a long hot shower and let all the different scents engulf me. When I am done I dress in the clothes Cinna left for me. It was a purple tunic and black pants with long leather boots. I brushed my hair and braided it and when I finally stepped out of my room Haymitch and Parker and Gale were all eating breakfast talking quietly. When I walk in they stop.

"Whats going on?" I ask confused. Parker and Gale wear matching in dark green tunics and I wonder why I wasn't.

"Nothing just discussing strategys."Haymitch say's but I can tell by the look on Gale's face that they were lying.

"What are you planning to kill me or something?" I say laughing but no one else does.

"Haymitch suggested we stay away from you." Parker finally says. I look at Haymitch for confirmation.

"Why would you say that." I ask confused clearly he didn't know what I know.

"Well no offense sweetheart. It's nothing personal but you are kinda the one everyone will want to kill first. You're the youngest out of all the tributes and sponsors like that. They will want to get rid of you first because that will leave more opportunities for them to get a sponsor." He say's.

"They also hate you. These are the parents of the kids you told should volunteer remember?" Gale say's honestly.

"So what now I have to go in alone? They will kill me for sure! This is ridiculous I can't believe you guys would agree to this!" I yell disgusted by al of them. Especially Haymitch for even thinking of such a plan.

"Ofcourse not Katniss I would never go in the Games without you knowing that you are a target." Gale say's laying his hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off.

"He's right we didn't agree, and when we told Haymitch he said we should at least stay away from you in training. That way we don't become targets at the cornucopia."Parker say's, but I am still infuriated. I stand up grab my plate and take it to my room.

"Do whatever you want. I know Finnick wont abandon me no matter what. Good luck in the games."I say as I shut the door. It all made sense now why I am wearing a different color than them. It's because they can be a team but no one can know that we are a team. It hurts to think that Gale would agree to that. I lost my appetite but I know I should eat something since we wont eat anything again for the next few hours. I nibble on some bread and drink some juice. Finally there is a knocking on my door. It's Effie saying it's time to go. I step out of my room leaving my full plate behind and step into the elevator without waiting for anyone else. I shut the doors and I head down alone. I am not ready to look at their faces yet. When I get to the training center there are only a few people there. I spot Finnick in the back talking to the two girls from his District.

"Hey Finnick." I say smiling at him brightly. He gives me a warm hug and I am relieved to know he isn't abandoning me too.

"Katniss these are the two girls from my district. Ariel and Bay." He say's and the two girls smile politely.

"Hello." I say smiling back. They look young maybe nineteen or twenty. They also look so sweet and innocent. They also look scared, but maybe that's just an act. Finally Atala begins her speech on the all the different training center she explains the same rules and the same stations so I let my eyes glide along all the people around me. I see Gale and Parker in the front but they don't make eye contact with me. Next to them I see the girl from yesterday that got naked in front of us all I see a lot of older women and by the looks of it there seem to be a lot more women then men. The few men we do have are old in their forties or fifties. Then I see the carrier tributes the are in their thirties or forties a tall slender man who doesn't appear to have much muscle but he has a clever look in his eyes. A short plump women with golden locks. they stand out at me by how close they are standing. They must have known each other in some ways. Then I realize what Haymitch ment. Finnick and I and Gale and Parker are so young compared to the rest. not only are we young but we are healthy well fed. They are all so tall and sturdy built and while I am much smaller the muscles on my legs show how much running I have been doing and my experience it has all still helped me look much tougher than I am. They also remember me the best. It was only last year that I won and I'm sure the memories of me blowing up the food supply and dropping the traker jacker nest is still fresh in their minds. Maybe Haymitch was right but it doesn't mean it hurt that they went so willingly with the plan. When Atala is done Finnick leads me to the fire making station. He living in such a humid area can make a fire out of almost anything. He helps me and finally with his help I manage to make a fire using no matches at all. We head over to the weapon station and he and I take turns I help him again with his bow and arrow and he is actually getting good. He helps me with a trident which I don't really like since you would have to be so close to your opponent in order to kill them. When we are done we head over to the wrestling mat. They somehow allow he and I took work together despite the rules but we are still being observed very closely. The instructor focuses a lot on me and shows me a way to use Finnicks weight against him. It takes a few tries but I manage to take Finnick down a few times. Evertime he just laughs and tells me he let me win but I know he didn't. When I finally get the hang of it the instructor lets us wrestle with out his help. The first time Finnick manages to pin me down by tickling me. I laugh and I try to get him off me but I can't stop squirming finally he stops and kisses my nose.

"I win." He say's but I take advantage and wrap my legs around him and flip us over so that I'm on top and then I begin to tickle him.

"It's not so fun when you're the one on the bottom is it?" I say and continue tickling him.

"Please!" He begs with tear running down his eyes.

"Say that I win!' I ay finally finding his extra ticklish spot and his squirming gets worse but I have him pinned down.

"You win!" He say's and I stop and roll of him and we both lay there laughing. He wipes away his tears and my abs hurts so much from laughing that I can barely move.

It's not until I get up and pull him up with me that I notice we had a little crowd around us.

"We need the mat too. So if you two could go play somewhere else we would appreciate it." The girl from last night say's.

"What's your problem Johanna?" Finnick say's wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk away. Johanna she's the girl who faked being innocent until there were only a few left then she began to kill everyone. I remember her now. "Don't listen to her she's just trying to intimidate you."

"I dont care." I say as we walk. I am barely paying attention so I don't even notice when Gale and Parker appear. I had told Finnick what happened when we were making fire's and I almost regret it because I don't want to start problems when we get in the arena.

"Katniss can we talk." Gale say's. usually I would remove Finnick's arm from around me but I leave it because I am still mad.

"Are you sure it won't put you in danger?" I snap at him and walk away. Finnick and I walk over to the painting station but we mostly fool around because neither of us are very good at it.

"Katniss I'm really sorry." I hear Parker say from behind me as I am trying to paint yellow flowers on Finnick's arm.

"It's fine." i sigh finally feeling the anger from me drift away. "I understand I just didn't think you guys would go through with that." i say turning to look at him.

"We weren't but Haymitch was insisting. " He says honestly. "Can I please get some help with the weapons from you? Gale was no help he's too upset." I turn to look at Gale and see him fidgeting trying to get his arrow straight and I can tell he is right.

"yeah ok let me just talk to Gale." I say and put down the paint.

"Katniss no. He shouldnt have treated you like that." Finnick says grabbing my arm.

"Gale's my friend Finnick. It doesn;t matter." I say pulling my arm away from him. He turns away and Parker picks up the paint I was using and fixes the flowers on Finnicks arm.

"Your never going to get the arrow straight if you don't stop shaking."I say to Gale touching his shoulder.

"Katniss I'm really sorry." He say's sighing.

"It's ok just forget it." I say but then I get an idea."I will forgive you if you promise to try to be friends with Finnick."

"I can try nut I do not understand why you like him so much." he says putting down the bow.

"It doesn't matter he is my friend." I say and we walk back over to Finnick and Parker. I look at Finnick's arm and it looks so real I can almost smell the flowers.

"That looks really great." I say tracing a flower with my finger. "Let's get you a weapon." I say and we all walk over to the weapon station. I try to teach him how to shoot a bow and arrow but he cant seem to even hold it right. So Finnick tries to teach him how to use the trident but he ends up dropping it constantly. Gale tries to help him with a knife but he never throws it hard enough to actually puncture the dummies. Finlay I pull out one of the spears that I had learned how to use last year and I actually turned out to be kind of good at and with the help of a trainer we teach him and he turns out to be really good. When he begins to get the hang of it we all split up leaving him there. Gale heads over to climb ropes and Finnick and I head to the knot tying station. I end up learning more from Finnick then the trainer and Finally he leaves us alone. Finnick is helping me how to tie a noose when Gale appears. Finnick at first steps to the side and helps me but when Gale is trying to tie a rope into some sort of strange knot he comes in and helps him. He tell's him where to place his hands and Gale manages to make the knot.

"Thanks."Gale say's giving him a small smile.

"You're welcome. Katniss you're not even trying anymore." He say's turning to me. He places his arm's around me and begins fixing it. To be honest I wasn't trying. He finishes it for me and set's it aside. "Let's go eat." He says finally. We each serve ourselves food and sit down at a table Parker joins us, and we eat in mostly silence. occasionally Finnick would ask Parker something and they would take for a while but other than that we finish our meal and get back to training. BY the end of the day Parker is almost as good with a spear as the trainer and Gale, Finnick and I are really good with the edible plants. Gale and Finnick have warmed up a bit but they still don't talk directly to each other but it's better than how we were this morning. The two girls from District four had actually joined us and they seem very nice. I was right about their age they are both only nineteen. They also didn't grow up on a boat like Finnick did and were completely clueless on everything. It seemed as though they lived their life hidden away. When Gale,Parker and I reach our floor we are all so exhausted. Haymitch and Effie question us on the other districts but none of us have much to say because we were all so focused. Parker tells us about the woman and man from District one. They seemed to be verry close and he tells us how good they were with knives. They never missed. Gale noticed a man from District Two that could throw a spear into a dummies heart from yards away. I hadn't noticed anyone at all but I tell Gale and Parker about the two Girls from Finnick's district something about them doesn't seem right. They seem innocent but there's a look in their eyes that tells me they have something planned and I am worried that they are like Johanna because they seem to know absolutely nothing. Haymitch helps us out a bit. He tells us about the victor's. Johanna is really good with an axe which is expected because she is from District Seven, lumber. Seeder is very clever and he will probably set up traps hidden away somewhere we can't see them. He tells us about the rest but they are all so old I hardly pay attention. Even the ones from district one and two can barely hold them selves up. I would almost feel bad killing them but I know I will if I have to, and I will have to if I want to save the people I care about. We all go to sleep exhausted and the moment I lay in bed I fall asleep.

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Ok here is the chapter review and I will post the next.

-Love Marely


	14. Chapter 14

Ok so here is the next chapter! Thanks for the reviews!

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The next day of training we really got down to business we all learned something and by the time we finished lunch there was nothing left to learn because at least two of us knew everything from a station. Finnick and Gale had learned all the knots and snares you could ever think of. Parker and I passed every edible plant and bug test and we even new certain plants that could be used for medicines. We all new how to build fires and we were ready. So we focused a lot on our weapons I focused on my knives and throwing and my aim was getting better. Gale was using a large sword which he was beginning to find handier then the bow. Finnick was working with his trident and Parker with his spear. My arm was beginning to get sore so I took a break to drink some water. As I was sipping my water I looked around. A lot of people were resting. Now that I think about it every time I look around I see people resting. Besides us no one really seemed to be focusing on learning new stuff. Then I wonder if we will even have to kill anyone. Maybe the arena will kill them first.

"You know Finnick is already in love." I hear a voice say behind me. Johanna.

"I know." I say.

"Then why are you trying to take him away from her. "She say's annoyed.

"I am not taking him away from anyone." Then I remember I am." He is the one that chose me." I say and walk off. It was weak but it was all I could thin of. I walk back over to the weapons and pull out a bow and a sheath of arrows. When I pull back the string I feel like I am at home again. Like I am in the woods which is the only place that I truly belong in. I let the arrow fly from my bow and it shoots right into the dummies heart. I shoot another and I continue to shoot until all the dummies have been in both the heart and in the head.

"You are really good at that." The trainer say's.

"Thanks." I say.

"Let's try something else." He says walking off he pulls out a box off little stuffed birds. He tosses one up in the air and I shoot it easily with the arrow. He throws up another and I take the knife I had strapped to my belt and send it straight through the bird and it sticks to the wall behind it. We continue the little game and Gale joins me. The poor man is throwing tons of the little birds in the air and Gale and I are shooting down as many as we can with one arrow.

"Next one to shoot down the most birds wins." He murmurs just as the man throws up a dozen birds. I wait until enough are lined up and send my arrow flying when the arrow falls I count six birds on it. Gale has four.

"I win." I say waving the arrow with the birds on it in front of him. I hear Finnick and Parker clapping behind me and I turn around and give a little bow. Until I notice how many people were watching.

"Get ready." I say giving a wink." District Twelve isn't going down without a fight." I say and toss the bow back on the rack. They all watch me with hate and I realize how much worse I probably made things. It doesn't matter I am ready for them.

"You are really good with that bow. I guess I should have known your squirrels are the best." Parker says handing me a water. We both drink for a while.

"Practice makes perfect. "I say looking up at the game makers. I hope they saw my shooting. I want a high intimidating score.

"He's right your were very good." A man says walking up to us. He had glasses and I recognized him as the Victor from district three Beetee.

"Thank you." I say. We all head over to the painting station and Parker shows us how to make paint out of flower petals.

"Can I be honest with you?" Beetee say's while I am painting leaves on his arm.

"Okay." I say unsure.

"I need to be teamed up with you." He says firmly.

"Why?" I ask confused by his determination.

"Protection you and I can help each other. I may not be strong or powerful like you and your little team but I am smart. I need to know now that I can count on you. Time is running out. Tick tock." He say's and it catches my attention. I had completely forgotten until now. He knew what I needed to do. I don't know why but he was helping me. I continue painting his arm's not wanting anyone to get suspicious. I am sure they didn't the way he did it was playful almost funny. It would seem just like careless chatter to warm me up to him.

"We will see." I say and look him in the eyes and give him a small smile. "What can you tell me that will prove your knowledge." I say but I know he can see that I understand, but if I give in to easily Parker might get suspicious or worse.

"Well." He say's looking around through his glasses which he rarely looks through. "The Game makers have put up a force field in front of them." He say's pointing up to them. I glance up at it but I don't see anything beside them eating and socializing.

"How can you tell?"

"In the top left corner." he say's and I look at first I see nothing but then I notice it a small vibrating square.

"Do they all have that?" I ask and continue painting his arm.

"Yes. everything has it's faults."He say's. I nod. I have to trust him and it's not hard he is nice although he doesn't talk very much. He is also very observant. He makes comments about all the tributes. He notices a limp in the women from district eleven. and a weak shoulder from a man in district seven. I listen to him and Parker helps me with the leaves on his arms and when we are done they are completely unnoticeable in the bushes. When we finish our last training day is over. Gale and Finnick actually looked like they were having fun in some sort of competition. When they come over to us they are laughing and I give them a bright smile. We all get into the elevator and when finnick reaches his floor he pulls me into a hug.

"Meet me on the roof at midnight." I whisper in his ear and he pulls away and nods before he leaves.

"What was that?" Gale asks curiously.

"Nothing I said goodnight." I lie. The truth is I want to talk to him without them here. I just miss him and I can show Gale the roof tomorrow. Gale ignores it and we all get off the elevator. We sit down to eat and we all stuff our faces. Tonight isn't as tense as yesterday and we all talk a little more freely.

"So I had a few requests today Katniss. Which is odd considering that you aren't a very charming person." Haymitch say's as we eat desert.

"I think she can be charming." Parker say's smiling at me. I laugh knowing that's not true.

"What do you mean?" I ask Haymitch.

"A few people want to be allied with you. What did you do?" he say's accusingly.

"She used the bow and arrow you should have seen her it was amazing! She took down six of those little bird's with one arrow it was really cool." Parker say's excitedly. "I would request her too if I wasn't already on her team." He say's proudly.

"So you are SO good that even the Careers want you?" Haymitch say's not quite believing the story.

"Maybe they like her attitude because I shot down a few birds too and I didn't get any requests. So it was probably what she said after that got them either worried or excited." Gale say's eating his cake.

"Well it looks as though your attitude got you very far!" Effie say's excitedly. "Last year that's how you got your eleven and now its how you got allies!"

"How did you get an eleven last year?" Gale asks curiously. Haymitch bursts out laughing.

"She did the craziest thing I ever heard of I don't know how she didn't get arrested or killed!" He say's laughing.

"What did you do?" Parker asks leaning in as if it were a secret.

"I shot an arrow at the Game makers pig. Shot the apple right out of its mouth. It was their fault they provoked me by paying more attention to that stupid pig than me." I say ignoring Haymitch.

"Wow." Parker say's. "And they liked it?"

"I guess but not in a way that they would want me to do it again they put up a force field in front of them this year." I say laughing at the thought of Plutarch falling back into the punch. He got what he deserved.

"So what do you want me to do about all the requests?" Haymitch asks.

"Turn them down I only want Finnick and Beetee."I say.

"Why do you want Beetee?" Haymitch asks confused.

"He's smart. He could be useful." I say but to only make it more believable I add. "He is also and easy target to get rid of when the time comes."

"Fine but are you sure you don't want anyone else? Johanna requested you and she would be a good edition." I laugh at the thought.

"I especially don't want her."

"Why would you say that?" Effie say's. Gale and Parker laugh. They were probably thinking of her being naked in the elevator.

"I don't like her." I say ignoring them.

"Whatever." Haymitch say's finishing his glass of wine. "Goodnight." He say's as he leaves.

"I am going to bed too." I say also taking the last sip of my wine. "I will see you all in the morning." I say and make my way to my room. It's eleven right now so I have just enough time to shower. When I am done I dry my hair and braid it back. I dress in silky green pajamas and I order a few cups of tea. When they arrive I grab two blankets and quietly make my way to the roof with both cups of tea. When I get there Finnick is waiting for me and is leaning over the railing to look at the ceiling.

"Hey." I say coming up behind him. He turns around and takes one of the cups.

"Hey. I have never been up here. Are we allowed to be here?" he asks looking around.

"Do you always play by the rules?" I say trying to sound seductive. I spread out one of the blanket's I had brought. He laugh's, and we both sit down and I wrap the other blanket I brought around us."Cinna showed Peeta this place last year. He brought me up here."

"It's beautiful." He say's and I lean against his side sipping my tea.

"It's cold." I say shivering. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I lean even more into his warmth. He pulls the blanket around us tighter and we are both engulfed in our body heat.

"Why did you bring me up here?" He asks after a while of staring up at the stars.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I missed you and this may be our last chance." I say honestly.

"I missed you too." He say's and holds me tighter. "I need to be honest with you."

"About what?" I say sipping my tea.

"About us." He say's and turns to look me in the eyes.

"Okay..." I say waiting for him to continue.

"I like you Katniss." He say's.

"Well I like you too." I say laughing at his seriousness but also because I am scarred of what he might say next.

"No I mean I really like you. As in more than a friend." He say's trying to look me in the eye, but I look down.

"Oh." I say unsure of what else I can say.

"I know I'm sorry I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it Katniss. I'm in love with you." He say's desperately looking out at the city light glowing around us.

"Don't say that Finnick you have a love and she is out there somewhere waiting for you." I say holding his hand.

"Now I have a love that is sitting right in front of me." He say's holding my hand in both of his.

"Finnick I love you too but I can't do this! Not now. I can't do it with you and I can't do it with Gale or even Peeta. I care so much about all of you I really do but I can't! I need to focus on finding a way to get you all out of this mess first! I refuse to love anyone until you are all safe!" I say frustrated. I stand up leaving my warm embrace behind.

"I'm sorry Katniss. you're right, but know that when the time comes I will be waiting." He says and he pulls me in for a kiss. I can't help it but I melt into him. His warmth engulfs me and his kiss send warm tingles down my spine. When he pulls away I want more but I turn around to stop myself. "Goodnight Katniss." He whispers into my ear and his warmth breath sends another chill down my spine. My name sounds like velvet on his tongue and I want to hear him say it again, but I wait until he's gone.

"You have really made a mess of thing's." I hear a voice say behind me. I turn around shocked and find Parker walking through the garden.

"How long were you up here?" I asked shocked.

"I guess I was here first, but honestly I didn't notice until you started yelling and I didn't want to get in the way so I waited. I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop." he say's honestly.

"It's ok..." I say sitting down on the blanket and pulling the other around me. He sit's down next to me.

"I saw you the other night... with Gale." He say's embarrassed.

"How?" I ask confused everyone was sleeping.

"I have been coming up here every night. I can't sleep. I was passing by and I saw you two kissing. I guess you were ton preoccupied to notice." He say's giving me a small smile. I hide my face in my blanket covered hands to hide my embarrassment.

"I really have made a mess of things haven't I?"

"Hey it's not your fault. No one can help but to love you." he say's and I laugh at the thought.

"It's true my dad loves you, and not just because of your squirrels. I love you, and it's definitely not because of your baking skills." He say's and I laugh. " Even my mother who doesn't love easily. Well she doesn't love you but she admires and respects you. Well she is a little mad about Peeta dying but I don't think even that made her loose respect for you."

"I just don't understand. I didn't ask for this. I don't want to love or to get married and have kids. I don't want to be alone either but that's why I had friends and now I don't even have that." I say desperately.

"I am your friend, and I promise I wont fall in love with you." He say's wrapping his arm around me and rubbing my arm.

"Thanks." I say giving him a small smile. "We should get some sleep. We have a big big day tomorrow!" I say mimicking Effie. He laughs and we both make our way to our rooms. When I lay in bed all I can think about is Finnick. I love him maybe more than a friend but not in the way I love Peeta. I don't just love Peeta I need him. He is like the air I breathe. Is that love though? Is need different than love? I think of my mother. She loved my father. She left her family behind to live in the seam. She could have been married to Peeta's father. Her life would have been different, but she didn't care because she loved him. Would I give up my life for one of them? All the money and fame of course I would give that away for free, but being with one of them will most likely mean losing the other two. They wouldn't want to stick around to see me live with someone else, and I wouldn't want them too. I don't even know why I am thinking of this I am seventeen. Even if I did get married I wouldn't do it for another ten of fifteen years! I have time. Then I remember tick tock. I don't have time because I may not want to get married not but I can lose them now. I don't know why my life has become so complicated. I got myself in this mess. I don't know what I can do. I don't want to lose them and then realize I do love one unconditionally. I wish Peeta was here. Maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. Finnick wouldn't love me because he has his lover. Gale might have loved me but maybe he only loves me because he doesn't want to lose me to someone else. The same way I would get jealous when girls would talk about him because I didn't want to lose my best friend. Maybe it was always love. Everyone around us seemed to think it was. Finnick didn't start loving me until I had told him about Gale. Maybe that's what it was. Jealousy disguised as love. They didn't want to lose me and they knew that love was a way to keep me. Then there's Peeta. I still don't know why he loved me. Maybe it was from the first day of school and I had made a acting impression. Maybe young love never dies off. I smile at the thought. I wish I had known him. I wish he had been my friend growing up. I wish he had the nerve to talk to me when we were little maybe things would be different. I wish I had the nerve to thank him when he gave me the bread. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered. Or it would only have made things harder. My father would have still died and I would have still met Gale. Prim would still have been called at the reaping and so would he. He and I may have been friends turned lovers and Gale would have still got jealous Peeta would have died and I would have suffered even more because I wouldn't have just lost a lover I would have lost a friend. Things could have still turned out the same. I wish more than anything Peeta were here now, or that I could at least here his voice or read his letters. He would know what to do and what to say. He always did. All those nights in the games when he would hold me close. That was real maybe the talking on my side wasn't but sleeping in his arms with him caressing my face. All of that couldn't have been anymore real. That's how I fall asleep thinking of him.

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Ok so I was thinking of making a chapter on what Peeta is doing and what kind of trouble he is going through and what he isn't telling Katniss. Maybe I will make it into separate story? I don't know let me know what you think. Ten reviews and I will post the next chapter.

By the way thanks for letting me now I put madge instead of Mags. Ooops.

-Love Marely.


	15. Chapter 15

The next day I wake up and we all get ready eat breakfast and head down to the room in which we will be waiting in. In the room everyone shows up of course. It's almost silent. All the non-victor tribute go first in order of their districts, and since we are from twelve Gale and Parker and I have plenty of time to talk.

"Do you know what you are going to do?" Parker ask's me. He had been fidgetting and I notice how nervous he can get. I had been trying to avoid talking to Finnick but he doesn't stop looking over at me every minute and I feel uncomfortable.

"No. I don't know what I can do that will top off what I did last year." I say and it's true I havent really learned anything new. I could shoot some arrows throw some knives paint myself into a tree but none of it seem's good enough. I don't want to do anything reckless this year. I have a string hanging over me with Peeta's life on it and I don't want them to cut that very thin string. I can't take to many chances but I want a high score so that I can prove myself to all the tributes that I am not a little girl.

"I don't think any of us can top that off."Finnick says next to me. The last boy from district eleven goes in and next is Gale since they are going my age instead of gender.

"Do you know what you are doing Gale?"I ask him to avoid Finnick.

"I have no idea. Maybe I should make a scary face and they can give me whatever score they want." He say's carelessly.

"You need to take this seriously Gale."I say.

"I know I just hate feeling like I am some sort of toy that they are playing with." He say's annoyed.

When he is called in. I become nervous for him and Parker. If I get a high score and they don't we will seem like an easy group because they will think they have me and Finnick as their body guards.

"Do you know what you are doing Finnick?" Parker asks him.

"No I wish the Game makers were all women. That way I can just take my shirt off and they would give me a twelve." He say's winking at me. I can't help but laugh at the idea. Parker laughs too.

"I wish I could go in there and put icing on a cake." He say's giving a little nervous laugh.

"Why don't you do that? Peeta stayed alive for days hidden away I couldn't even see him in fact I would have walked right over him and never would have found him if he didn't tell me he was there. You could do the same thing. Peeta should have done it and he would have gotten a great score." I say and he gives me a nod.

"Your right I will paint my self into something." He says.

"Do a boulder or maybe a tree that would be so cool." I say encouragingly. Just then he is called in. I give him a reassuring thumbs up and he leaves.

"I wonder how he will do." Finnick say's.

"He will do fine. He worked really hard in training and Peeta barely tried anything new and he got a seven so Parker can only get a better score than him right?" I ask giving up on ignoring him now that it's just us and a room full of victor's.

"You compare him a lot to Peeta."He say's.

"I compare everyone to Peeta. Him especially because he is so much like Peeta was." I tell him honestly.

"Do you compare me to Peeta?"He ask's.

"I have but you two are so different theres really no point." I say honestly again.

"Yeah the difference is that Peeta's dead and Finnick isn't." Johanna snaps at me.

"What is your problem Johanna, Katniss didn't do anything to you!"Finnick snaps back at her.

"She's only mad because I dont want her as my allie."I tell him. She sit's back down and shuts up. We all sit in silence until Finnick leaves.

"Your a fake." She say's to me.

"You know I don't really care what you have to say because at the end of this game only one of us will be able to walk out and even if it's not me I am going to make sure it's definitely not you." I snap back at her. She chuckles.

"That's right because you are going to do what ever you can to keep your boyfriend safe! How romantic. To bad no one cares."She says mocking me.

"Go to hell." I say just as she is called in.

"I'll meet you there." She says stepping through the door. I sit back and try to calm my anger. I can't go in there and make a fool of myself again. I take deep breaths and watch all the victors go in one by one until finally I am alone. I pace around the room and try to think of something I can do that will impress them something that will shock them but wont make me look out of control. I can't paint myself into anything because Parker has done that and I don't compare to him. I have nothing decided by the time I step through the doors.

I take a deep breath and head to the bows and arrows. I pull back the string and aim up to one of the lights. When the arrow crashes into it sparks fly. It catches their attention. I pull back the string again and this time I aim at them. They all look shocked that I would try something like that again but I put down my bow and give them a wink. They all laugh and I walk over to the knives I grab half a dozen. I step back as many yards as I know I can throw and start chucking them at the dummies each one ends in a fatal hit. I take a step back and decide to get creative. I do the first thing that comes to my mind.

I pick up the bow and a single arrow and a long rope and walk over to a pipe that trails up the side of the gym and bends and flow along the ceiling. I climb up the pipe easily and when I get to the top I place my bow on my back and secure the rope to my wrist. With my arrow in my mouth I get a good grip of the pipe and start shimmying along the pipe with my hands until I am in the center of the gym with my feet dangling fifty feet off the ground. I check to make sure they are all still watching and they are. I quickly pull my self up on to the pipe I swing one leg over it and I pull up my pant legs up to the middle of my thigh. I wipe my hands on my shirt because I was sweating from my nerves. I need to prove myself. I shimmy along the pipe again until I am right over the soft wrestling mat. It wont help if I fall but when I jump down it will make for a softer landing. I tie the rope to the pipe using the tightest knot I know. I swing the rope over the side and I am glad to see that it almost touches the floor. I pull my bow off my back and hold it in my hands tightly before I swing my leg over the thin pipe so that I am sitting on it with both legs on one side. I take one last look at the game makers as they look at me confused but they refuse to look away. I take a deep breath before I lean back holding on to the pipe tightly with my hands and I squeeze it with the back of my knees tightly. I make sure my legs are holding tight before I let go of the pipe and I am dangling there with only my legs holding me up I relax my shoulders and put my arrow in place. I can feel the blood rushing to my face and mixing with my fright it was making me dizzy. I aim for a dummy and pull back the string I had never shot anything upside down and pray I don't miss. When I release the string and the arrow flies straight through the dummies heart I let out the breath I had been holding in. I quickly grab on to the pipe and pull myself back into a sitting position I look over at the gamemakers and smile before I grab onto the rope. I give it a tug to make sure it's secure. Then I decide to take this a step further. I grab onto the rope and wrap my legs around it then I begin to climb down it face down. I take my time becuase my hands were shaking and the blood in my head was pulsing in my ears finally I was only three feet off the ground face down. I flip over and release the rope and I feel the blood rush back down my face. I look up at the Game makers and they are all giving nervous laughs. Clearly they were worried they would loose a tribute. I take a small bow and they give me a round of appluase.

"You are excused Ms. Everdeen." Plutarch say's smiling. I set down my bow and walk into the elevator. I walk into our floor and everyone is waiting for me at the table with lunch set up.

"Well you didn't go running to the room crying so I expect that you did a good job." Haymitch say's watching me closely as I sit down.

"I did surprise them."I say giving a small laugh at the memory of their worried faces.

"Oh Katniss dont tell me you threw a knife at them or something." Effie say's worried.

"No I didn't. I think they were impressed." I say letting the tension build.

"Katniss what did you do." Cinna ask's leaning in closer.

"Let's see what score I get first and then I promise I will tell you."I say. There is still the chance that they wont give me a great score but I am praying that they will give me the eleven that I want. "What did you guys do?"

"I shot some arrows set up a few snares built a fire, threw a few knives nothing big. The ones that were actually watching seemed pleased but there wasn't very many of them paying attention."Gale say's.

"Same here they were all distracted by the food. I understand what provoked you last year."Parker say's.

"Did you paint yourself into something?"I ask him.

"Yeah I did a tree it came out pretty good too. Its like Gale said though, the ones that were watching seemed pleased."I nod.

"Were they even watching you Katniss, because whatever you did would mean nothing if they weren't watching? You were the last one after thirty-six tributes I would get tired of watching too." Cinna say's.

"'They were watching I shot an arrow up into a light when I first walked in to get their attention. They couldn't keep their eyes off me since then." I say proudly. We all eat and Effie once again complains about how unfair it is that they don't put equal attention to all the tributes. When we finish we all gather around the couch and I squeeze myself in between Cinna and Parker as we watch. The Female tribute from district one scored a nine and the two men scored an eight. Finnick scored a ten and the two girls from his district scored a four. Johanna scored a nine and Beetee a seven. I wonder what they all did. When district twelve comes around I am a complete wreck. What if I wasn't as impressive as I thought? Gale scored a ten and we all clapped and cheered. Parker scored a nine which was really good too. When my picture came up I became so nervous I was begging for that eleven. We all lean in to the tv and when they announce my number we all jump up and scream in joy. I got a perfect twelve. Haymitch hugs and spins me around.

"What the hell did you do sweet heart?" He say's excitedly.

"I hung myself from the ceiling by my legs and shot an arrow into a dummy then I climbed down the rope face down." I say laughing it sounds so ridiculous now that I said it out loud but I don't care because no one even got an eleven, but I got a twelve.

"Were did you come up with that idea?" Effie say's laughing.

"I don't know I just did it I guess." I say and we all laugh. Cinna pulls out a bottle a champagne and serves us all a glass.

"Congratulations to all of you we have our next victor right here in this very room." Effie cheers and we clink our glasses and take a drink. Parker nearly spits it out and Gale makes a grossed out face and I can't help but laugh. I had gotten used to the flavor and I was beginning to even enjoy it.

"You did great Parker a nine is just amazing." I say giving him a hug.

"Its nothing compared to your perfect score." He says messing up my hair.

"Congrats Catnip you won again." Gale say's giving me a hug. When I look around Haymitch has sat down and he wasn't even touching his glass.

"What's wrong?" I ask him worried that maybe I did do something wrong.

"A perfect score. A perfect target." He says and I realize what he ment. Everyone already had their spears and knives pointed at me, and now I have a perfect score. It will only make things worse. I sit down and drink the rest of my champagne. Somehow I managed to only make thing's worse for myself.

"Oh Katniss dont you worry about that."Effie says giving me an awkward pat on the back.

"Yeah Katniss it doesn't matter you are ready for them you are the toughest one of them all. Maybe some of them will target you but others will be to afraid to even come close. The ones that do come you can take them." Cinna say's trying to reassure me. I nod but I am still worried. I serve myself another glass and head to my room shutting the door behind me. I can hear them discussing in the living room but I don't care. I take off all my clothes shut out all the light from my windows and crawl into bed. I want to cry but I don't let myself. I have been weak for so long and now it's time to be tough. So I drink the rest of my glass and let the buzz it gives me take me to a deep sleep.

In the morning I wake up around eight but I decide to sleep in. Since no one calls me out I sleep until noon. When I do get up I take a nice hot bath and let the pressures from the jets relax all my muscles and it takes away all my stress. When I get out it's about three o'clock and I get dressed in soft cotton pants and a shirt and step out barefoot. I am starving so I order some of that amazing lamp stew and rice and while I wait for it to come out I walk into the living room were Gale and Haymitch are having a discussion.

"Whats going on?" I ask confused.

"Well sweetheart it looks like your friend Gale has as much personality as you did."Haymitch says and then I realize why no one came to get me. They were being trained for the interview tomorrow.

"I already told him I don't need to be charming or interesting and I don't need to tell them about my life they don't deserve to know." Gale say's frustrated. Just then an Avox brings in my food. She sets the tray of stew and rice and the glass of wine I ordered in front of me.

"Can I get some fruit and chocolates for desert please?" I ask him and he nods and walks away. I lean back into the couch and set the tray in my lap.

"Just pretend you are talking to me Gale." I say trying to help him the way Cinna helped me.

"That doesn't make any sense. You know everything about me."He says stealing a small loaf of bread from my tray. I eat and try to think of something.

"Than pretend you are talking to Parker he doesn't know much about you and you consider him enough of a friend to tell him. You can talk about me and talk about the capital and how great it is they love that stuff redirect it to those two things and you will be fine."I say taking a drink of my wine to force down the large bites of food I was shoving down my throat.

"Look Gale you need to do something you wont have a pretty dress with flames coming out the bottom to hide the fact that you have a dull personality." He says insulting me. I throw a small piece of bread at his head.

"He's right though Gale this is important. Whatever you do affects me and Parker and Finnick because we are a team and any gifts that might come in to you is for all of us and we need all the help we can get in there."I say pressuring him.

"Well you don't by any chance have an undying love for Katniss do you? because that helps you and her look better. Its what got her all those gift's last year." Haymitch says taking a drink from the glass in his hand laughing. Gale looks at me but I avoid his eyes and take a large bite of food so that I can't say anything. When Haymitch notices our expressions he stops laughing. " You do?" He asks and neither of us answers. He lets out another laugh.

"This is perfect tell them that! It's better than Katniss and Finnick being star crossed lovers. Now we have a love triangle. It's drama it's what they want. Its what they live for. This is perfect."He say's laughing.

"He is not going to say that because it isn't true." I tell him. "It wouldn't work anyways everyone thinks he is my cousin and saying otherwise will be bad for the capital and I can't do that."

"Your right." Haymitch say's thinking it through. He stands up and take his bottle with him."In that case you are screwed." he says and walks off.

"Don't listen to him. He thought I was a failure to but he was wrong. " I say giving him a reassuring pat.

"Okay." he says but doesn't meet my eyes.

"Dont you dare tell them you are in love with me Gale you will get us into more trouble than help." I say forcefully scared of what he might say.

"I know I wont I was just thinking about what you said. I do love you Katniss it's the truth. I have loved you for a long time now."He say's looking into me.

"I know I'm sorry I just wanted to get him out. I love you too." I say and take another big bite of my food to avoid saying anything else.

"I just want you to know that it's real." he say's. Just then my fruit and chocolate arrive.

"Come with me." I say picking up the tray and my glass of wine. I led him up to the roof.

"Why didn't you bring me up here before." He say's taking deep breaths of the fresh air when we get there. It doesn't compare to the air in the woods but it's better than the air inside.

"I don't know." I say pulling out a blanket from the place I left it yesterday.

"How did you find this place." He say's leaning over and watching the sun that was about to start making it's way down.

"Cinna showed it to Peeta and he showed it to me."I say sitting on the blanket and sipping my wine.

"Why are you drinking that?"He say's finally sitting down with me.

"I like it."

"It taste's awful." He says dipping a strawberry in the chocolate. I just shrug it off. Truth is it is awful but I like what it does. It keep's me from thinking about all my problems at once. It slows down my worries.

"Are you scarred?' he ask's as he pops it in his mouth.

"Not scarred. I am a little worried."I say thinking about it. I take a slice of a little green fruit called kiwi and dip it in the chocolate. "I am worried I will make a bad decision." He nods. We eat in silence but it's not awkward its relaxing. When we finish eating I end up leaning my head on his shoulder while he traces patterns on my hand. When Parker comes in I pull myself away from him and he releases my hand.

"It's time for dinner."he say's giving me a small smile. We get up and leave all the suff behind and when we reach the dining table I can already tell it's going to be quiet. Haymitch and Cinna and Effie must have really went at it earlier because no one will look at each other or talk.

"My dress for tomorrow what does it look like?" I ask Cinna trying to start up a conversation.

"Its green and long and very classic. It will really stand out against your skin." He say's quietly.

"Is there any fire?"I ask trying to keep the conversation going.

"Sort of." He says and that ends the conversation. We all finish eating quickly and I head straight to bed.

I am awaken to my prep team arousing me out of bed. They put me in the shower and they put all the settings for me because I am still practically asleep. I shower and they pull me out and do the rest. They bring me breakfast and I eat as they work on my hair. Cutting it drying it they even change the color a bit its still a brown but it's more red. They get to work on my nails and they place fake red nails with diamonds all over. They work on my makeup and they talk about the games and what they think will happen I dont really listen because I know they are wrong they think it will be in a dessert. They dust my entire body in gold dust and curl my hair which they pin all to one side. Cinna comes in and helps me into my dress and shoes before spinning me around to turn towards the mirror. The dress is tight all the way down it hugs my body and there is a slit that travels from the floor to just above my knee. My shoes are dazzling they are covered in diamonds but they look like diamond flames climbing up my ankle to the middle of my calf. When I walk I leave a small trail of fire behind me which really stands out against the green silk. I have long white gloves on my arms that glitter in the light. My reddish hair stands out against the dress and my makeup is very light but I have thick eye lashes and red lip stick which makes me look mature. I look different but somehow the same. Maybe its the color of the dress that reminds me of the woods. Or the hair color that stands out. I like the look. And I twirl around and a trail of fire swirls around me.

"You have out done your self Cinna." I say giving him a hug.

"Well your so beautiful anything would look great on you." He say's smiling at me.

He walks me out of the room with my arm hooked through his. The heels are higher than I am used to but I walk around in them for a while and I get used to them. Gale comes out with his hair all neat and his skin glowing. he was wearing a gray suit which made his grey eyes pop.

"You look nice." He say's coming over to me and Cinna fixes his tie.

"She looks beautiful." Parker say's stepping out with Haymitch he was wearing a dark blue suit that made his blue eyes pop. They both looked very handsome.

"Thanks." I say blushing. We all step into the elevator.

"I'm sorry for what I am about to do." I whisper in Gale's ear just as the elevator door opens. I give his hand a squeeze before I step out. Finnick is waiting for me by the door. He looks beautiful. His golden curls neatly styled and his golden skin glows underneath the black suit he is wearing. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it.

"You look absolutely breath taking." He says pulling me closer.

"You look very handsome."I say fixing the collar of his shirt. He unlike Gale and Parker wasn't wearing a tie and had the top few buttons of his shirt unbuttoned which made him look very casual. I take one last look at Gale and give him a small smile. He nods at me and I am glad he understands.

"Let's go so I can show you off."Finnick says holding my hand. I can feel the warm fire flickering behind me with every step I take. When we walk into the room. Finnick pulls me past all of them and I can feel them staring at me and at my flickering flame. I spot Johanna from the corner of my eye. She was wearing a nude see through dress with lace covering her from chin to wrist to ankle. I ignore her and we all wait to take our seats. Finnick leads me to my seat. and I am soon surrounded by Gale and Parker again. Parker appeared to be shaking and I placed my hand over his.

"You will be fine." I say and he holds my hand in his. Once again the tributes went first. I wasn't paying much attention and none of them caught my eye as something interesting. They are all very quiet some are upset. When Gale goes up I pray he will do a good job.

"Well Gale a little bird told me you are cousins with Katniss." Caesar says.

"Yeah we are." He say's politely.

"Tell us about how it was growing up with her."He asks him.

"Well she has always been temper mental. She was always very quiet she only had one friend." He say's making a face as if he felt bad for me. I roll my eyes and shrug it off because they have me on the screen. "She is also very sweet. Not in an obviuos way. She loves easily and she always wants to protect and take care of everyone she cares about."he say's and it makes me smile.

"Were you two close growing up?" He asks him.

"Yes we were especially the past five years. When our fathers died. We relied on each other. She's my best friend." He says and the crowd melts. Then the timer goes off. He shakes hands with Caesar and steps off the stage and returns to sit next to me as Parker stands up and releases my hand.

"So Parker Mellark you are Peeta's brother correct?" CAesar asks him once they sit down.

"Yes he was my youngest brother."

"Were you two close?" he asks him.

"Yes he and I are very a like." He say's politely.

"Do you have any love confessions for Ms. Everdeen?" he asks and the crowd laughs.

"No." He says chuckling. "Thats my brothers girl." The crowd awe's and I am put on the screen once again. I give a sheepful smile.

"How have you been dealing with his passing away?"

"I miss him. My whole family does. It hasn't been easy." he says and the crowd nearly burst's into tears.

"How do you feel about Katniss moving on so quickly?" Caesar ask's him and I stare at the ground.

"I can't blame her. Peeta is gone and she couldn't wait forever. She went into such a depression when he died. Nobody saw her for months. One day she just got up and started coming out. I guess she must have met Finnick. I am glad for her happiness."He say's smiling. I can't believe he told the world I was depressed but he covered it up.

"Well we wish you the best of luck." Caesar says as the buzzer goes off ending his time.

"Thank you." He say's and walks off stage. When the victor's go up it get's interesting. They all question the rules of the games and how they hate to be fighting against their friends, but I honestly don't think they care. When Finnick goes up the crowd melts away in his hand when he say's how much he has grown to love me and how much he will fight to keep me alive. He also comments on how stunningly beautiful I look tonight. He plays around with Caesar and they laugh and before you know it his time is up. Johanna doesn't complain about the game's. She threatens me in front of all of Panem and the crowd loves it. She jokes about her last game's and how this time everyone better be ready because she wont be playing sweet and innocent. The rest of the victors go up and when time comes for me I am actually feeling anxious to get it over with. I glide up to the stage confidently with my fire trickling behind me and the crowd loves it.

"Well I think I and the rest of Panem will have to agree with Finnick. You do indeed look absolutely fabulous."The crowd goes crazy in response.

"Thank you Caesar I would have to thank Cinna he never fails to make me look my best." I say and smile over to the platform that I know he is in.

"He has really out done himself this time. So Katniss tell us how are you feeling this year. A lot of contestants have been talking about you tonight." He say's

"I am actually feeling very good. I am ready to bring a crown home once again." I say smiling and the crowd goes wild.

"How are you feeling about Finnick and your cousin and even Peeta's brother going in with you?"He ask's.

"Well it's really such a shame and I truly wish there was something we can do but there isn't. I have really begun to care about Finnick and I was just ready to open my heart to him, but it seem's as though the capital doesn't want me to have a boyfriend because they keep taking them away." I joke and the crowd laughs.

"Do you have a response to what Johanna said today?" He asks as my time ticks away.

"Bring it on Johanna. Your nine doesn't even begin to compare to my twelve!" I say and the crowd laughs again.

"Well we are all itching to know what it is you are doing to get such high scores!" Caesar say's and the crowd agree's.

"Well I really wish I could tell you but that's between me and the Gamemakers. It's our little secret."I say seductively and the crowd cheers again.

"Well what can you tell us?" He ask's desperately. I consider this for a second.

"I don't think they saw it coming." I say leaving them with more questions than answers. My buzzer goes off and we both stand up.

"Well we wish you the best of luck and I am sure we will all be glued to our tv's to see what goes down with you and Johanna." He says taking my hand and shaking it. I place my hand over his.

"Thank you caesar I will see you soon again. As you can see my flame is still going." I say and the crowd laughs and as I am stepping off the stage I give a little twiel and I feel the fire wrap around my body and swirl up into thin air. The crowd goes nuts and I make my way over to my seat taking my time so that they can watch my flame. As I sit down Caesar begins his good-bye and the anthem plays and we are soon being led out.

"You did great." Finnick say's catching up to me and taking my hand.

"Thank you so did you." I say and we walk hand in hand back stage and to the elevator. Gale and Parker must have stayed behind because it is only Finnick and I in the elevator. He pulls me into a tight hug. I lean my body into his and rest my head on his chest. tomorrow I will see him again but in the arena. I hug him tightly until his door opens.

"Good luck Katniss. No matter were we are or what happens I got your back."He say's and he bends down to five me a single kiss on the lips, and then he is gone. I lean back and wait for my door to open. I wasnt ready at all. When I step out of the elevator I am surprised to find everyone already there waiting for me at the table. I take my seat and we all begin to eat.

"Katniss you were fabulous tonight." Effie says as she started up the conversation. I look over at Haymitch for confirmation.

"Was I hostile?" I ask and he smirk's.

"You did very well. Everyone has there eyes on you."He say;s and I smile.

"Gale you did good also." I say smiling at him.

"Yeah considering he is just as hostile as you are." Haymitch say's.

"We aren't hostile we are upset that we have to be here and parade around and wait to be slaughtered." Gale say's to him. We all shut up. I eat my food quietly and take in as much as I can hold. I drink what may be my last glass of wine and I head to bed without excusing myself. I crawl in bed and the day's exhaustion weighs down on me. I relax my body which had been held so tightly together in that dress and I feel free again. I fall asleep after about an hour of twisting and turning.

I was running again,but this time i wasn't moving. I had sweat beating down my face and my heart was racing. Peeta was so close. He was holding his hand out for me but I couldn't reach it. I was a fingertips grasp away from it and just as I was about to touch him a great force pulls me away. I am pinned down to the ground as Finnick and Gale hold me down. They smile at me but their feet are pressing down on my shoulders i try to get up but hey only put more weight on me. I look over at Peeta who is slowly getting further. I scream and I kick but they never let me go they just smile at me. I look around for something of someone.

"Parker!" I scream when I see him. "Help me!" I beg but he just watches me with a sad look.

"You really made a mess of things Katniss."He say's so quietly i can barely hear it. I beg for him to help me with tears running down my face but he keeps repeating it. His voice get's louder and louder and finally its a screech almost like a birds. That's what snaps me awake. My heart was still racing and sweat was still running down my face. I try to relax but the images of my dream keep returning and it only makes my heart speed up more. I get up and wash my face with cold water. I put on a silky cool night gown since my clothes were drenched in sweat and I drink about a gallon of cool water from the faucet. I crawl back in bed and rest my cheek against my cool pillow when there is a light knock at my door.

"Katniss." I hear a whisper as my door slowly opens. Gale pokes hs head and squints through the darkness to make out my face.

"What are you doing here."I say pulling the cover's over me.

"I cant sleep. I thought maybe you would be awake too." He say's stepping in and closing the door behind him.

"I just woke up. I had a nightmare."I say and he crawls on my bed and lays on top of the sheets.

"What was it about?" He ask's and my heart speeds up again.

"I forgot." I say not wanting to tell him.

"I can't sleep at all. All I can think about is tomorrow and were we will be or what we will have to do." He say's looking up at the ceiling.

"You should get some sleep Gale. It's two in the morning you need your rest for tomorow."I say stroking back his hair from his face to soothe his thoughts.

"I know but I can't. How did you fall asleep?" He ask's and I nod to the bottle and glass of wine next to my bed. I had drunk a glass at dinner and another after I realized I couldn't sleep.

"Here drink a glass. It will help." I say and pour some wine in the empty glass." He sit's up and I hand him the glass. He take's a small sip.

"Is that why you like it?" He ask's taking another drink.

"It clears my thoughts."I say running my hand through his hair. I continue this until he finishes the glass. I set it aside.

"Go get some sleep." I say removing my hand from his hair and turning off the small light next to me.

"Can I sleep here?" He ask's. I sigh.

"Alright but stay on that side of the bed. In the morning Cinna will be here and you are my cousin so stay over there." I say and he scoots away.

"Can you still stroke my hair? At least until I fall asleep?" He asks.

"Your such a baby." I tease and scoot closer to him and stroke back his hair. His eyes begin to fall after a minute and pretty soon he falls asleep completely.

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Alright there it is! The next chapter s waiting to be posted. since this is chapter fifteen I will post the next chapter after fifteen reviews. let me know what you think!

-Love Marely


	16. Chapter 16

I didn't get fifteen reviews but since they were all so nice and today is my Birthday I decided to post it anyways. So here it is!

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"Katniss." I hear someone say shaking my shoulder. I open my eyes and find my prep team standing over me. "Good morning Katniss let's get you ready." Octavius say's and I pull myself out of bed.

"Were is Gale?" I ask looking around.

"We already sent him back. What was he doing here?" Venia ask's as she pulls off my gown and leads me to the bathroom.

"He was nervous and he couldn't sleep so he came over to talk. Then we fell asleep by accident." I lie and step in the shower. The warm water awakens me and I rub the sleep from my eyes. I wash out my hair and scrub my body and step out of the shower. They dry me down and sit me in a chair. They remove my fake nails and dry my hair then they help me into a simple jumpsuit.

"It's been a pleasure working with you Katniss." They say with tears in their eyes.

"Hey don't worry I will win just so that I can spend more time with you guys." I say smiling at them and they pull me into a big hug. "I will see you at the victory tour." I say to reassure them. I don't think there will be a victory tour at all. They give me a small laugh and they tuck my hair behind my ear.

"We will look forward to it." Flavius say's and they leave. Cinna comes in and we are taken to the plane that will take us to the arena. When we get to the same room underneath the arena I begin to get nervous. All I have to do is keep them alive I think to reassure myself. Cinna helps me into my suit. It's a dark blue and grey color. It's a skin tight jumpsuit that covers me from neck to wrist to toe. I put on the rubber boots and Cinna pulls out my engraved ring and places it on my hand.

"I wish I had my pin." I say sadly looking at the diamond ring that isn't me at all. The ring reminded me of home.

"I wish you had it too." He say's braiding my hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Nervous. A little worried over were we will be." I say even though I know.

"I know you will do great."He say's reassuringly. We both sit down and I drink and eat as much as I can hold without feeling sick. He rubs my back and I begin to relax at his touch. When the buzzer goes off letting me know I need to get in the tub I begin to panic once again.

"I am still betting on you." He says kissing my cheek and hugging me tight before I step on the platform.

"Thank you for everything Cinna." I say giving him a small smile as the glass rises around me. I lift up my chin and stand as tall as I can. I feel sick. As the platform rises and I am lifted up I panic. The light is so blinding I shut my eyes and look down. I squint my eyes and try to look around as the platform stops. The sky is pink and the sun is hot. The air is humid and I can already feel sweat collecting at the back of my neck. My eyes begin to see and I realize I am standing in the middle of the ocean. The waves lapping up at my feet. I remember what I was told. The arena is a clock. I look around and I see it. The twelve victors and myself are standing on platforms surrounding the cornucopia. In front of me there is a trail of sand about fifty yards away wich leads to the small island holding the cornucopia. Behind me there is another trail about the same distance leading to a jungle. To my left about the same distance from the sand trail stand a tribute two on each side of me. They don't have sand trails in front of them but they are about fifty yards away from the island and the sand trail in front of me There is also one separating them and those lead all the way down to Forest. The victors will have a disadvantage because we are further away. Then I realize almost none of the tribute will be able to swim. Gale and I do but there is no way Parker can. I look around for them but the only one I see is Parker and he is almost on the other side of the cornucopia. I realize my time is ticking away and I only have a few seconds to make a decision. I need a weapon so when the bell goes off I don't hesitate and dive in to the water in front of me. I swim toward the strip and i quickly pull myself out of the water and run to the cornucopia. Inside all there is weapons. I Quickly grab a bow and a sheath of arrows. I load it just as I feel someone behind me. I turn around ready to shoot.

"It's me." Finnick say's laughing. I give him a small smile. I look through the supplies.

"Theres only weapons." I say horrified. There is no water how can we get it from the trees if there is nothing else.

"Grab what ever you want and let's get Gale and Parker before other tributes find a way to get here." He says grabbing three Tridents from the mess of weapons. I grab another bow and three sheaths of arrows. I find a case filled with knives and quickly strap it to my belt. I stuff it with a few spear heads and grab two spears for Parker. When I come across the only pair of axes I quickly pick them up.

"What do you want those for?" Finnick ask's confused.

"I don't but I know someone who might like them ."I say and I toss them into the ocean as far as I can. Just then gale shows up. I hand him the bow and two sheaths of arrows which he quickly grabs without a word he is breathless and soaking wet. He grabs a sword and straps it to his belt.

"Let's goes get Parker." I say and we all run. No one else seem's to be making their way here. they are searching the water. Probably looking for some sort of undersea dangers. When we run right in front of them though they cautiously jump in. They splash around but then they stop and they float to the top. Their belts ar holding them up. More start to figure it out as we pass by and I begin to panic. When we see Parker standing at his plate looking in the water I am relieved. We run down the strip of land and FInnick hands me his tridents.

"Watch my back." He say's before diving in and swimming out to him. My hands are full but Gale has his bow loaded. I look around and see the two girls from Finnicks district reaching the sand. They run away from the cornucopia and they both meet up at the front of the woods, before they disappear into it. Finnick was pulling Parker through the water. He let him and finally they made it to our strip of land. I hand them the weapons and they take it.

"You can swim?"Parker ask's Gale breathless.

"Let's go!" I say loading my bow. ALmost all the tributes were reaching the sand. I looked around for Beetee but I didn't see him. As we reach the sand in front of the jungle I turn around and I spot him. He was running into the forest to the left of us. We all run into the jungle. It was covered with vines and moss with tree's so high you can't see the end of some of them. We don't stop running though. Somehow I find myself in front since I run the fastest after all my training.

"We need water." I hear Finnick say behind me. I nod my head and pretend to look around but I know I wont find any. What I am doing is looking for somewhere far enough to be safe until the blood bath is over.

"Maybe I should climb a tree?" I say after we have been running for an hour. Parker looked tired and Gale behind him didn't look so great either. Even I could use a break. The heat and humidity were weighing down on me. We all stop and Parker takes a seat on the ground. Finnick and Gale look around to make sure it's safe. I pick a good tree and begin to pull myself up it's rubbery branches. I take my time because the branches grow thinner and they aren't firm as the ones in my woods. When I get high enough I remind myself not to look down. I look around for the cornucopia and when I spot it I gasp. Dead bodies flooded the ocean water staining it red. I counted there to be about eleven but from here I couldn't tell who. I look around for something else but all I see is canopy that the trees make with their leaves. I can't see into the forest. I look up into the sky and around for something else. Maybe a mountain of some sort but there is nothing but woods. I climb down the tree and Find Finnick and Gale with their weapons ready and Parker still leaning against the tree.

"Eleven are dead and their still fighting." I say. "I couldn't see into the forest the trees form a canopy. There is nothing else beyond the forest." I say breathless. I lean back against the tree for a second as they process my information.

"We need to keep moving." Finnick decides. Parker pulls him self off the ground and flexes his legs and arm's.

"We are far enough. We can walk." I say looking at Parker and knowing he is tired. With no way to get water we will exert ourselves to much to fast.

"Okay."Finnick say's also watching Parker. "I'll take the back."

Gale and I walk side by side weaving ourselves through the woods. I look around for some sort of meat but I find nothing. I am looking up at a tree when I see it. The small fuzzy square."

"Wait!"I yell placing my hand on Gale's chest to stop him from taking another step. "Nobody move."I say I slowly bend down and pick up a fallen unfamiliar nut. I chuck it with as much force as I can muster and just two feet away it stops mid air and blue electric veins spread around it before it bounces back black and burned.

"How did you know it was there." Finnick says stepping up and placing his hand on my shoulder. I want to tell him but what if the game makers find a way to change it then we will be blind.

"Dont you hear it Gale? It sounds like the fence in our district but quieter." I say and they all lean in. "It's very faint like a buzz."

"I don't hear anything." Finnick say's after a minute of listening.

"Neither do I." Gale say's.

"Maybe it's instinct?" I say confused. Then I lean in and pretend to listen again but I hear nothing. "I hear it!"

"Well it doesn't matter as long as you know it's there." Finnick say's giving up.

"I think we should stay here. We need to set up camp and it's getting late it will begin getting dark soon and we need to rest." I say even though I can keep going all night Parker and even Gale look tired.

"We need water." Finnick argues.

"he's right"Gale say's.

"You and I can go." I tell finnick. " We can go look and Gale and Parker can set up our camp." I know there is no use for all of us to exert ourselves looking for water that we will never find. They agree and Finnick shows Gale and Parker how to weave a mat for us to sleep on. Gale catches on quickly and he also teaches them how to weave a basket.

"Let's go before it get's dark." I urge. Finnick and I walk through the woods with our weapons ready.

"I don't think we will find water." I admit to him when we are far enough away.

"There has to be water or we would all die within a matter of hours in this heat."He urges.

"The tree's!" I say excitedly as if I just remembered. "I think these tree's have a way of collecting water."I say pressing my hand against the trunk of a tree and knock on it. It makes a hollow sound.

"How can we get into it?" He say's also knocking on the tree.

We walk around looking for some sort of opening in the trees or something that might give us a hint. The thirst is already slowing me down and my voice is becoming hoarse from the dryness. Just as I give up and lean against a tree. I hear a beeping sound. A gift! I look around for the parachute and I spot it clinging to a branch in the tree above me.

"Finnick!" I call him excited. I climb up the tree and unhook it from the branch. When i reach the floor he is waiting for me.

"It has to be something that can help."he say's "Something to get in the tree's." I open it slowly and inside I find a spile. Its silver and made of metal.

"What is it?" He says confused examining it. I laugh and throw my arms around his neck.

"It's a spile! For maple syrup!" I say excitedly."We can get the water with it it has to be for water!" When he hears that he wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up and spins me around. Even though I am excited I know this is all just a show. We quickly run back to the camp and when we get there we find Gale and Parker on the ground weaving a large mat.

We don't say a word to them despite their constant questions. Finnick uses one of my sharper knives to drill a hole into a nearby tree.

"What's going on?"Gale demands.

"We have a spile Gale." I say even though I don't think he knows what it is either. When the hole is deep enough I stick the spile in it and twist it around for a second until a thin stream of water pours out. We all gather around drinking our fill.

Finnick pulls me into a hug with relief and hugs me tight." You are amazing." He says and kisses me on the lips. I quickly pull away and pretend as though I need more water but the truth is was uncomfortable. We all fill ourselves with water, and relax against a tree. We havent had any food but I wasn't hungry yet and I was excited to just have water for now. When the first cannon goes off we listen carefully.

"Fifteen are dead." Gale say's when it's over. I lean into Finnicks side existed. He was weaving a basket. Parker and Gale leave to look for food and I sit with Finnick and watch him weave basket's and fill them with water.

"You okay?" he asks wrapping his arm around me. I should be on guard but I can't find it in me to get up. I lean into him and drink from the water he was collecting.

"Yeah I am just tired." I say but i am not. I can only think about is how to figure the arena out. Each hour causes something new. It's about six right now and so far nothing has happened.

He massages my shoulder and I relax into him. I take out the spile from the tree and secure it inside the case filled with my knives and spears. We sit leaning into each other not saying a word. A strange bug lands on my arm. It was a green color and resembled a fly only bigger. I swat it away and another comes and lands on Finnick's arm.

"What is it?" He says examining it. It walks along his arm for a second and suddenly it forms a small set of teeth and digs them into his arm. He swats it away quickly and I grab his arm examining the bite. It was swelling and turning red.

"How do you feel?" I ask him still examining it.

"I'm fine but it burns." He say's also staring at the bite. I hear a buzzing sound by my ear and swat away at it. More and more begin to appear and soon we are swatting away and jumping around like animals. Finnick gets the ide and grabs the uncompleted mat and starts swatting at them but the more we kill the more show up. Finnick is beginning to weaken and I realize he has been bitten a few times.

"Run!." I yell giving up and we both take off down the woods."Get to the water!" I say and we both run as fast as we can. Finnick begins to slow down soon and I grab him by the arm and pull him. Behind us I can hear a swarm gathering following us. They weren't very fast but they can navigate through the forest faster than we can. Suddenly I feel one bite me in the neck and I feel the sting begin to travel through my neck. It was cold yet it burned. It felt worse than getting burned. I catch a glimpse at Finnicks sting and see that blue veins were beginning to become noticable on his arm and they were spreading. I pulled him faster but he was slowing down. His hand was feeling cold. It was colder than snow and it was stiff as if it were frozen. I feel more sting my arms and legs. The suit was no protection at all. my muscles begin to tighten and It makes it harder to bend my arms and legs. I feel hot but Finnick feels cold so I know I must feel like him. The heat was spreading through my body as I felt more of them sting me. I was almost dragging Finnick through the woods and I was beginning to slow down too. We just barely break out of the woods and reach the sand When I feel my entire body tighten and contract. I feel Finnick drop to the ground behind me but I dont stop I pull him despite the pain and my swollen muscles. I just barely reach the edge of the water when I drop too. My body twitches and I feel no control. The pain of my muscles clenching and releasing in unbearable. My head is constricting and it feels as though my body will explode from the pressure. I roll over into the water and nearly scream from the pain of the water touching my hot swollen skin. I twitch away from it and look at the water. It was stained with purple from were I touched it. The heat was also reducing from my arm and leg that had touched the water. I drop my arm in the water and the pain is blinding. I want to scream but we are in enough danger laying in the sand twitching uncontrollably. I force myself to roll half way into the water and I bite my lip to keep from screaming. I let half of my body rest and watch the purple venom flow into the water. My body stops twitching and I decide to get it over with. I roll over until I am completely in the water. I almost black out and I feel as though my skin is exploding but when it's over and I roll back out to breath I feel my muscles loosen and my body completely relaxes. I manage to sit up and I look up into the forest The swarm is still there waiting as if we would go back in there. I pull myself up and turn to Finnick I crawl over to him and press my cold wet hands to his face. He flinches and pulls him self away.

"This is going to hurt but it will get better I promise." I say and kiss his cheek for the crowd. He has stopped twitching and he is is curled up. I grab his legs and pull him towards the water. I pull him in despite his screams until he is in the water up to his waist. I let him lay there and I take off my suit which is covered in holes from the bites. I set it a side and lay in the water with him. When he stops moaning I pull of his suit too and pull him in deeper. I wash my body with the water that still burns but I force myself to endure it. I dig my hands in the sand and find that it eases the pain. I take hand fulls of the sand and rub it all over my body. When it begins to feel normal again I do the same for Finnick.

"It's ok I will take care of you."I say and continue rubbing his body with the sand.

"Thank you." He say's exhausted and I am relieved to hear his voice.

"I am going to pull you in all the way okay?" I say and he nods and somehow helps me. His face is underwater and I watch his face of pain for a second and slowly it relaxes. I pull his head out of the water and lay it in my lap. "Close your eyes I say and he does. I take handfuls of sand and rub it in to his face, neck, and chest. He moans in pleasure and I smile. I continue massaging his skin with the sand until he finally pulls himself up. Without a word he dips his entire body back in the water and disappears under the water. I sigh in relief and turn around to look into the jungle. The swarm was gone and I relax. I look around the beach and find no one. I quickly dip under water and rub my face with sand and pull out again. I could see Finnick gliding through the water happily so I dress myself back in the torn up suit. It had already dried and while I felt better my skin felt thin and sensitive. I had managed to keep my bow and both sheaths of arrows and my case of knives were still strapped to my belt. Finnick had held onto two of his tridents. Then I realize what we are missing. Gale and Parker. Hopefully they didn't get attacked by the bugs. Finnick pulls himself out of the water and I help him into his suit.

"Were do you think they are?"He ask's.

"I don't know." I say ashamed. I had one job and now I lost them.

"Dont worry they will be fine. How are you feeling?" He asks braiding my hair.

"I'm fine just sore. You?" I ask not taking my eyes away from the jungle.

"Same. Should we go look for them?" He says letting go of my hair. I consider this.

"No we don't know if those things are in there waiting. I'm sure they are fine. They would have been far enough from us to be safe."I say turning around to face him. "We can't help them right now. I don't think our bodes would handle it." He pulls me into a hug and I bury my face in his chest. He rubs my back soothingly. When I pull away I look around. That is when I see them. Two figures dragging a body out of the jungle. I quickly grab my bow and load it.

"Katniss." I hear gale yell and I drop my bow and run to them without hesitation. He and Parker were carrying Beetee on the unfinished mat they had made earlier. They must had returned to were we were.

"What happened?" I say looking at Beetee. He was passed out.

"We found him like this when we were returning to camp. We carried him there and you two were gone." Parker say's.

"There was a swarm off some sort of bug they chased us out." I explain and then I see the bites on Beetee. He had the same problem.

"Get him in the water." I urge. He was bitten a lot more times than we were. "It's what helped us." I say and help them carry him in the water. We put him in all the way and he begins to twitch in pain. I pull his face out of the water and lay it on my lap. Finnick comes over and helps me take off his suit while Gale and Parker collapse exhausted. Together Finnick and I rub his body down with the sand and the water is soon filled with the purple venom which we both avoid. After twenty minutes of washing his body down with the soap he begins to regain conciousness.

"Hey Beetee how are you feeling?" I say as we pull him back out of the water and lay him down on the sand.

"Okay."He say's Parker had taken the spile and he and Gale had brought the baskets which we fill with water. I help Beetee drink slowly. Gale and Parker are now laying down tiredly on the sand. I have my bow ready incase anything happens and Finnick has his head in my lap. They are all so tired.

"Why don't you all go to sleep.I will take the first watch."I say and no one objects they pull the mat away from the water and they all lay down.

"I will stay with you." Finnick say's remaining on my lap. I continue stroking his hair. It's so soft. I begin to relax but I still have my bow ready.

"Are you tired?" I say watching his face.

"My body is tired but I'm not sleepy." He respond's. When the music plays and the capital sign appears in the sky he sit's up and we watch. It starts at district three. So all three from one and two are okay. Both tributes from district three are dead but of course Beetee is still alive. The two girls from District four had remained to stay alive. All three from five were gone also. The female victor from six was still alive while her tributes died. All from district seven are alive. The female from district eigh is gone. All three tributes from districts nine and ten are gone, and a man from district eleven is gone as well.

"Fifteen gone..." I say mindlessly.

"Theres twenty-one of us left."He responds. He wraps his arm around me, and I lean in to him.

"Why don't I teach you how to catch some clams. Maybe some oysters." He say's trying to lighten up the mood. I was beginning to feel hungry.

"Ok." I say giving him a small smile he pulls me up and I take off my suit and get in the cold water in only my underclothes. I let my body get used to the water before I dive in completely. I swim around and let my body glide easily through the waves. When I pop back out of the water Finnick is standing in a few feet deep watching me. He grins at me.

"What?" I say letting out a small laugh.

"You're beautiful."He answer's and walk's deeper into the water.

"Your very pretty too."I answer blushing and he laughs. I pull him in deeper. "Ok so teach me." I say holding up one of my knives. He laughs.

"You are not going to stab them you just need to pick them up."He say's still laughing."Watch get on my back." He say's turning around. I remember doing this in district four. I wrap my arm's around his neck and wrap my legs around his waist. "Uhh Kat.. Can you move your knife from my throat."He say's nervously and I realize I had it in my hand still. I laugh.

"Sorry." I toss it onto shore since I wont be needing it.

"Thanks. Hold your breath ok." He say's before he dives in the water. I feel him pull us deep into the water and after a few moments i feel hm fumbling around and then he places a clam in my hand. He pulls us up out of the water. He has his hands filled with clams and oysters.

"See?" He says as I jump off his back. I laugh I have no idea what you did how can you see? Doesn't the salt burn your eyes?" I ask grabbing them from his hands and walking over to the baskets and setting them inside.

"A little but you get used to it." I grab my bow off the sand.

"How about you get the clams and I will get us some fish." I say walking down the strip of land.

"you're going to shoot the fish?" He asks shocked.

"Yes unless you have a net of some sort?" I ask and load my arrow. The moonlight is so bright and the water is so clear that you can see right through it. I spot a fish and shoot it. Then U dive in the water and come up holding the arrow with the fish stuck on it.

"Alright but don't shoot me." He say's and I realize he is right.

"I will do it on this side of the sand. " I say getting back on the strip of land and turning to the other side. He places two baskets next to me.

"Let's see who can fill a basket quicker." He say's.

"Deal." I say and load my bow. There are more fish on this side since he is not disturbing them. I shoot two or three and dive in to retrieve them. Pretty soon my basket is full. I turn to see his basket and find it piled high.

"I won like ten minutes ago I just thought maybe you should finish."He say's laughing placing more oysters next to his basket.

"Shut up." I say grabbing both basket's and taking them over to were our clothes were. Just as I set it down I feel arms wrap around my waist. He picks me up and places his hand over my mouth and throws me back in to the water. When I resurface he is standing on the strip of land laughing. I grab his ankle and pull him in. I laugh at his .

"Your really strong for a little girl." he say's . We laughs and he picks me up again and spins me around. We laugh and play in the water just like we did in District four. He chases me and of course he always catches me and tickles me. When we get tired we sit at the edge of the water and watch the water glide over our toe and retrieve. After a few minutes I get bored and dive back into the water. I love the feeling of swimming. I love the way the water glides around your body. I feel him next to me and when I resurface he is standing right infront of me. He places his hands on my hips and stairs into my eyes.

"Kat... you make me feel different." He say's and I know exactly what he means. "I am a different person with you around."

"Finnick..." I say before he cuts me off.

"No listen. When I am with you I forget everything and I feel happy. I laugh and I play I feel like a child with you around and I love it. I never have fun unless you are there with me. Katniss I lo-" He begins to say but I cut him off by pressing my lips to him. I feel the same way but I don't know what it means. I don't want him to ruin things by claiming love. So I kiss him. His lips are warm compared to the cold water around us. His hands on my hips tighten and I rest my hands on his shoulders. I trace the dimples on his shoulder's while he runs his hand down the ridges of my spine and it send's a tingle coursing through my body. I just wrap my hand around his neck and he wraps his arm's around my waist and we both pull each other tighter when we hear thunder and we pull apart abruptly. I look up into the sky expecting ran but nothing comes. I run back to the shore and pick up my bow. I load it and look around to make sure no one was there. We were so caught up neither of us were even guarding anymore. Gale was awaken by the noise and he sit's up.

"What was that?" He ask's fully aware.

"Thunder. It sounded like it came from that direction." Finnick answers his hand on his trident.

"Why don't you two get some sleep. I can watch now I am no longer tired." He say's getting up. He looks at us curiously and I realize we are still only in our underclothes.

"We caught some fish and finnick got some clam's and oyster's." I say nodding to the pile while I grab my jump suit and toss Finnick his. We both pull them on. Gale nod's and walks along the shore. FInnick and I crawl onto the mat and he lay's out his hand and I use it as a pillow. I don't realize how tired I am until I lay down. I fall asleep almost instantly.

When I awake it's because there is someone wiggling around next to me. I open my eyes and find Finnick scratching himself in his sleep. I pull on his hand awakening him and he sit's up startled.

"You were scratching." I say holding up his hand that was covered in blood. "Your going to scar." I say but I become fully aware of my skin burning and itching. I sit up and rub my eyes. The sun was barely coming out but Parker was already gone while Beetee lays fast asleep.

"My skin is on fire." He say's through his teeth.

"Let's see if the water will help again." I say pulling him up. Gale is shooting fish and he nods at us and murmurs his good morning. I look around for Parker and find him carving a whole in a tree. We sit at the waters edge and take off our suits. I try rubbing the sand against my skin and I moan from the pleasure. I help Finnick rub it on his back and he helps me with mine. Finnick has a lot of bites on him and the are red and swollen. I think of all the plant's we learned about. I memorized the ones found in humid temperatures the best. I think of one and jump up.

"Wait here." I say and I jog into the woods were Parker is.

"Good morning." I say to him grabbing a knife and a basket from the case he had by his feet I look around the forest. I know its in here I remember seeing it. When I spot it I nearly laugh. It was a huge plant I cut off as many pieces as I can and I end up filing the basket. When I reach Parker's tree he has just filled the first basket of water He hands it to me and I gulp down the warm water. He hands me the next full one and I thank him and take it too Finnick who is desperately rubbing the sand on his skin. He takes the water and drinks it down like I did.

"What is that?" He say's when I sit next to him and start slicing off the skin of the plant.

"Aloe Vera." I respond I take the back of my knife and glide it across and the jelly collects underneath it.

"What is Aloe vera?" He asks when I don't respond. I crawl behind him and take the jelly and glide it across the skin of his back and he sighs in pleasure.

It's a plant its good for sun burns and abrasions and bug bites. It also helps soothe wounds and it moisturizes the skin." I say smiling proudly at the sounds he was making.

"It feels great." He says and he practically melts under my touch I scrape as much jelly from it as I can and spread it all over his back. I grab another piece and do the same with his neck and face and then his arms and legs and finally his chest and stomach.

"My turn." I say eagerly. This time I melt away in his arm's. The relief is instant and my skin stops itching and burning. He spreads it all over my body. When we are done we have used half of it and we are both shiny covered in all the jelly.

"How are you guys." Gale say's watching us carefully as he places another basket filled with fish next to us.

"Katniss saved my life with that weird little plant."He say's and I laugh. I grab one his fish and begin to clean it. I was so hungry at this point. Parker comes over to us and hands us another basket with water. I teach him to gut the fish and we all sit in a circle cleaning the fish meant and putting it all in a basket.

"So how are we going to cook it?" He asks and we all laugh.

"You don't need to cook it you can eat it raw."I say and take a chunk of meat and eat it to prove to him. Also because I am so hungry I can't wait, and it was a good excuse. He stair's at me like I am crazy.

"Can't you get sick from that?" He ask's.

"No why would we eat it if we can get sick."Gale say's.

"It's a delicacy in the capital to eat raw fish."Finnick answers as we finish all the fish. He teaches us how to open the clams and oysters next and we move onto that. When we finish Beetee finally gets up and I teach him how to cut the Aloe vera and he applies it to his skin while we eat. The fish is so good and while I do not like the clams and oysters very much they still taste good and I eat a few. We all sit with our stomachs full. My skin however had dried and turned hard from the jelly. So Finnick and I walk into the water to wash it off. We both feel better already and the swelling in our skin has gone down.

"What should we do now?" I ask when we return. We place our suits back on and we put all our stuff together.

"We need to move from here." Finnick say's.

"We should stay on the beach though." I say. "Here we have food and water. We can see if any attackers are coming. It's safe." I say thinking of the bugs in the woods. Every hour something new. I remind myself.

"Alright let's head down that way." Gale say's pointing to the right. "Let's see if we can figure out why there was thunder over there maybe something happened."He say's and we all agree. We collect our things and strap them to our belts tightly. As we walk down the beach we are all fully aware peering into the jungle and looking through the cornucopia but it doesn't seem like anyone is there hiding. We hear a canon go off and we all look around waiting for the hovercraft to appear. When it does it pulls out a body from the area in which we are headed. We stick close together our weapons ready for anything but nothing comes so we continue moving. We move fast and its about mid morning when we decide to rest.

"Can I have the spile I am going to get us somewater."Gale say's standing up. I reach to my belt and I am just about to undo the clasp when Fiinnick places his hand on my stomach to stop me.

"Wait." He say's not looking away from the ocean. I look at the ocean and I see it retrieving.

"What is it?" I say but it's too late because I see what he means it's a wave but it's much larger.

"Get up!" he urges us and we all stumble to get up but it's too late. he grips my hand in his when the wave comes crashing down us. His hand slips from mine from the force of the water. I feel someone else grip onto my arm desperately as I swim to the surface. I pull him up with me but the waves keep crashing down on us. I do my best to tread water but I am not a good enough swimmer and it's not easier when I have someone clinging to me. I feel someone pull me up and I manage to get a good breath of air before the next wave crashes over us knocking me back under. Neither hand has released me and I grab onto the hand helping me and place his hand around the others and he pulls him up. I manage to surface again without his weight on me. I gasp desperately and cough up water. I swim desperately to were the shore used to be and I see Finnick pulling Parker with him. I look around for Gale but I dont find him. There have been no canons so I know he's alive. Another wave crashes down on me but this time it didn't take me by surprise so I rise up easily. I look around for gale again and I see his hands splashing up from the water about ten yards away. I dive in and swim to him and grip his arm and push him up out of the water, before I pull myself up. I pat his back and he coughs out a bunch of water. The waves have stopped and the water is retrieving again. I see Finnick, Beetee and Parker on the little bit of sand were the water is just barely touching. I pull Gale and he does his best to help when we reach the sand I collapse my body was tired and my throaght was sore from all the water I choked on. I pat Gale's back as he coughs out more water.

"How's Parker?" I ask Finnick in hoarse voice.

"He's find just a little choked up. Are you alright?" He ask's in response. He sounds breathless and tired but his voice unlike mine is fine.

"I'm okay." I say and lay back on the sand. I check my arrows and while one had been closed and is safe the other is empty. I let out a sigh. My belt still has the case of knives attached.

"I lost my trident." Finnick states.

"I lost one of my sets of arrows." I sigh.

" I lost my sword. We are going to need to go to the cornucopia and see what we can find."Gale say's roughly. I sit up and brush the wet blond curls out of Parker's face.

"You ok?" I ask him.

"I'm fine." He say's in a raspy voice.

"Can you walk?" I ask him and he nods. I turn and find Finnick cutting a whole in a tree with a knife. I take out the spile and walk over to him. Our baskets were gone but I found a few shells to fill with water. I help him get the spile in the tree. I get down on my knees and gulp the water gushing out of the tree. It is warm and it soothes my throat. Beetee comes over and also drinks his share. I fill a few shells and take them over to Parker I pull his head in my lap and help him drink the water. He sit's up slowly.

"How you doing?" Finnick ask's coming over.

"I'm okay we can move just slowly."Parker say's and we help him up. He wraps his arm around finnick and I take the lead with Gale in the back. We take our time and when we reach the cornucopia Parker sit's down on the sand. Finnick stays with him while Gale and I look around. We don't find anyone and we begin looking through the weapons. I find two tridents for Finnick and another spear for Parker. Gale and I refill our arrows and he finds a new sword. I stuff more knives and more spear head in my case. When we step out Finnick and Parker are laughing about something and I can tell he feels better.

"These are the last tridents. So don't loose them."I say warning him. "Same with you Parker."

"We need to be careful. That wave came out of nowhere."Finnick says and then we hear the thunder again. We all turn to the direction it came from and caught a glimpse of lighting ]striking a tree Then it begins to rain in the area around the tree.

"Is that rain?"Parker ask's.

"It doesn't look right." Finnick say's taking a step closer. I look closely and I see what he means.

"The color is wrong its dark."I say.

"It's like mud or sand or something its kind of reddish." Beetee say's looking through his I realize it.

"It's blood." I whisper. Just as I say it two people come stumbling out of the Jungle covered in blood. We all duck behind the cornucopia. I peak over and watch as they fall into the water and it stains the water red.

"Who is it?" Finnick ask's me.

"The two tributes from District one." I say recognizing their blood stained faces. I can shoot them from here. I get down on one knee revealing my hiding spot but it doesn't matter they are too preoccupied to notice they were throwing up and crawling in the water. The woman stands up and I pull back my string. When I release it it flies and hits her right in her throat. More blood pours out of her and she drops to her knees before completely collapsing. The cannon goes off. The male turns and see's her then he turns around and just as he see's me I send my arrow flying. His reaction is too late and it hits him right in the stomach. It's not were I was aiming but it will kill him none the less. I stand up just as the cannon fires. I stand up and find Parker staring at me with shock.

"It had to be done. It's either them or one of us." I say forcefully but the reality is that I was beginning to feel awful about it. I look around at the arena. Its a clock I remind myself. As I look at the area were it's raining blood I realize what it ment. The arena was divided into twelve sections. Each section brings a new torture for an hour. I think of the wave and how it is directly next to the area raining blood. The bugs they disappeared we havent seen them since then. I wonder what else will happen. Should I tell them? If I do they might change things and that would make things worse.

"Let's move back to the beach." I say heading in the direction from which we came from. We have twelve hours until it happens again.

"What about the wave?"Parker ask's worried.

"We can teach you to swim but we can't stay here out in the open we are better off on the beach." I respond and I keep moving. The bodies are picked up and just as we reach the beach the blood rain stops. I look over to the next wedge of jungle. I don't see or hear anything so I just ignore it. Whatever it is we are safe here. Gale imediatly begins to make new basket's and a new mat and Parker helps him. Finnick dives into the water for clams and Beetee sit's on the sand with a cylinder he had picked up from the pile. I wasn't sure what it was but it must have something to do with electricity since that's really his only weapon. A cannon goes off and a body is retrieved from were the blood rain was. I walk over to a tree and begin to carve into it when I hear rustling in the bushes. I take a few steps back and load my bow I feel a hand on my back and turn to find Finnick with his trident ready. The rustling continues and a body covered in blood crawls out of the Jungle. The blood had dried and he hair was sticking together in a tangled mess. When she rolls over and I see her face I laugh. I pull back my string.

"Honestly Johanna I thought you would make it just a little harder to kill you." I say aiming for her heart. I am Just about to let go when Finnick places his hand on my arrow and Pulls it out of my bow.

"Katniss no."He say's tossing my arrow in the sand.

"Don't you dare do that again."I say pulling another arrow and aiming it at her. She was still breathing but she appeared to be passed out.

"That's enough Katniss!" He yells ripping the bow out of my hand's. The string cuts my finger from the force of him pulling it. A drop of blood oozes out.

"What is wrong with you!" I say sucking on my finger.

"Your not this person. She is my friend we are going to help her." He say's and picks her up. I pick up by bow and load it before pointing it at him.

"That's fine only one of us can win and it doesn't have to be you." I threaten. I wanted her dead.

"I dare you to release that arrow." He say's walking away from me. My skin was on fire and I felt the blood rush up to my face in anger. I throw my bow to the ground and pick up a knife. I begin to carve a whole but my finger is still sore. I unzip my suit instead and pick up my bow. I join Gale and help him catch fish.

"He was right."Gale say's suddenly.

"What are you talking about." i spit out shooting another fish. It wasn't really that I wanted to kill her that bad, but I don't like him feeling like he has control over me.

"You aren't this person. Remember what I told you the day you left for the games?"He ask's.

"How different can it be killing a human than killing an animal."I say before I dive in to the water.

"It wasn't until I got here that I realized it's much diferent."He says grabbing the full basket and taking it over to Parker who was now gutting the fish. I pull out the fish and set them on the land. I dive back in the water and glide through it. All I can think of is Prim. Dont forget who you really are. Her words repeat over and over. I rub the sand on my skin which had scabbed in the bites and were beginning to itch. I dive around the ocean and pull out a few oysters and clams and take them over to Parker. Gale was still catching Fish and Finnick was washing Johanna and helping her recover. I will still kill her. I just have to pick the right time. I gut the fish wordlessly with Parker and when we finnish we both nibble on a few pieces. My finger had become sore from the salt water and the fish blood but it felt better and we needed water. I go back to the tree I was carving. When I insert the spile water begins to gush out I fill baskets and take them over to gale and Parker and Beetee. When I am done I sit next to Beetee and look around at the arena. I wonder what horrors are happening beyond the jungles.

"You figured it out didn't you?" Beetee say's under his breath we were far enough away so no one would hear. I nod to him.

"We need to be careful were we step." He say's and we both remain quiet. Finnick eventually comes over to me.

"Can I have the spile and a knife Johanna needs water."He say's looking away from my face. I toss the wet spile and wet knife on the ground and they both get covered in sand. When he bends over to pick it up he sighs.

"Very mature Katniss." He say's. I just shrug and lay back in the sand. He struggles to carve a whole in the tree since I had given him a knife with a slightly round edge. Of course he eventually gets a thin he walks over to pick up the basket Beetee had drunk from he still doesn't look at me.

"Sorry I forgot to tell you I already carved a whole in that tree over there. A lot of water came out too. All you could have done was re-insert the spile."I say giving him a small smile. "Oops"

"Katniss look I'm sorry. I don't want you mad at me can you just help me?"He sighs and drops to his knees next to me but I look away. He sighs and grabs my hand in his. ""Please Katniss I love you." He kisses my hand but I rip it out of his.

"You defended her after she threatened me in front of all of Panem! You embarrassed me, and now you want my help? Do you think she would have even hesitated for one second to kill me if she had the chance I did? You chose a side and it wasn't mine." I say standing up and leaving him. I sit down next to Parker.

"You okay?" He ask's breaking open oysters.

"yeah I'm fine. It's been a long day."I sigh. "I'm tired and agravated."I say tears welling up in my eyes. "I want to go home."I admit and wipe away the tear that had escaped. i feel his arm wrap around me.

"You will get home." He say's and kisses my head.

"No I want to really go home. Back to the beginning. I want to go back past the games. I want to be home when my dad was alive."I admit and sob into his shoulder. He rubs my back and I crumble against him.

"I'm sorry Katniss. I really am."He whispers stroking my head. I wipe away my last tear and let out a small laugh.  
"I can assure you I didn't get my twelve by crying." I say and he laughs. We watch the sun set and we eat fish. Gale joins us and I end up with my head in Parkers lap and my legs on Gale's. I eventually fall asleep.

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Alright there it is. What's wrong with Finnick? I have the next five chapters all written so review! thanks for all the reviews so far you guys are sweet. I will take as many of your suggestions into consideration I promise. I still don't know if I want Katniss to be with Finnick or Peeta. I know the bio say's it's a Katniss and Finnick story but that's just because he is a major character. I did have the ending planned out but after reading all your reviews I have decided to switch it up.

Ten reviews andI will post the next chapter. I am also working on that Peeta chapter expect it soon!


	17. Chapter 17 Peeta and Johanna

Sorry this is late but here it is! Thank you so much for the reviews KEEP IT UP

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When I awoke it was night-time and the moon and stars were out. I was on a mat with Gale and Parker on either side of me. I slide out from under their protective arms that were draped over my torso. Finnick was on the sand weaving a mat. I walk over and sit next to him.

"I'm sorry Kat."he say's not looking up at me but setting the mat aside.

"It's ok. I exaggerated you were right."I say running my hand through his hair . It had become a habit of mine. "That wasn't me. I was trying to be ruthless. Or lethal. I was trying to live up to my score."I admit.

"You didn't get your score by being ruthless. You got it because you have more courage and more gut's than anyone I know." He say's looking up at me. I give him a small smile.

"Thank's." I say and I lay my head in his lap."What time is it." I say remembering the clock.

"Around ten why?"

"We need to move." I say sitting up.

"We already did Beetee convinced us. You don't remember? Gale woke you up but he ended up carrying you. They just barely went to sleep." He say's pulling me back down on his lap.

"Oh." I say confused but I relax anyways we have until morning to move again. Beetee would have made sure.

He stroked my cheek and I begin to drift off to sleep. "Wake me up if you get tired.' I say before I fall back asleep.

When I wake up again I am still in his lap and he is playing with my hair watching the sun rise. When I stir he gives me a big smile.

"Good Morning."He say's still smiling.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"You talk in your sleep sometimes." He say's still smiling.

"What did I say?" I said confused. No one ever told me that before.

"Well usually you say names. Most of the time it's Peeta sometimes its Prim or your mother even Gale now and then sometimes Rue. Tonight you said my name."He say's proudly. I remember my dream and it's not something he should be proud of. He doesn't need to know that though.

"Well maybe it's because you were supposed to wake me up and you never did now go take a nap or you will be tired all day."I say changing the subject and standing up.

"I didn't wake you up because you were sleeping so peacefully. Usually you stir a lot so I'm guessing you were having a nice dream about me." He say's standing up too. I give him a smile.

"Good night." I say and he gives me a kiss and lay's down next to Beetee.

I decide to have breakfast ready so I get busy since I slept the entire night. I catch a lot of fish since it is early. I get some water from a tree. I even get some oysters and clams. I sit down and begin to gut the fish. When a basket attached to a parachute lands in front of me. I jump up and open it. It's bread from district four and a pot of some sort of red sauce. I did my finger in it and taste it. It's spicy and salty it's perfect for the fish and oysters. The bread is also salty and slightly green from the seaweed. They will wake up to a nice meal. I continue getting the food ready and Gale is the first to wake up.

"We got a gift today." I say smiling up at him when he sits down next to me.

"Looks like you set up a good breakfast." He say's smiling back. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." I say and hand his a piece of fish and the sauce. We both eat begin to eat and soon Parker and Beetee wake up and join us. We eat and when we are done we are all so full. Johanna stirs awake and when she comes over to us she doesn't say a word to me and I don't even look at her. Parker offers her some fish which she gladly takes and Gale gives her water which she gulps down greedily. Beetee and I are the only ones that avoid her.I look around the arena and try to figure out were we are. Last night they must have moved around the entire arena because we are still in the noon spot. I look at Beetee and his look relaxes me it's only about eight right now. I tell them that we should move again. course Johanna speaks up.

"Who cares if they know let them come we can take them down. We don't need to move."She say's stubbornly.

"Last time I checked you aren't part of our group I never allied with you so you can stay here on the beach if you would like because I don't really care if you get killed. My only remorse would be that I didn't do it myself." I spit at her. I feel someone place their hand on my shoulder and I know Finnick is awake.

"Kat..." He say's rubbing circles on my back to calm me down.

"Look Kitty Kat your boyfriend is here to save me." She say's and Finnick grabs my wrist and forces the knife that I had begun to raise out of my hand. I stand up and rip my arm out of finnicks hand and storm out grabbing my bow on the way out. I rub my wrist that I know will bruise.

"Katniss!" I hear him yell but I ignore it and make my way into the jungle. I load my bow and walk around for a while. I feel something scurry up a tree and I shoot it without hesitation. It is some kind of Lizard but it's large and has green spots on his back. I open him up but when I do the smell is so vile that I drop it to the ground. It smelled acidic and rotten. I keep looking but I don't find anything else. I begin to toss a knife into a tree to calm my anger. A mockingjay lands on a branch above the tree I was sticking my knife into. I sing Rues song to her and she wait's a second and repeats it. I sit down on and lean against the tree it was on. We exchange tunes for a while and I sing a few songs. A few more mocking jays show up and soon we have a little group singing the song. I lay back into the tree and listen to them repeat the note's. I get so lost in the song that I don't even notice when Gale shows up.

"Come on Katnip. We need to move. Beetee explained everything." He offers me his hand and I take it. "You made some friends." He say's nodding at the birds that had stopped singing when he showed up. I play with the ring on my finger. I feel the engraved Mockingjay.

"Yeah." I say and sing Rue songs as we leave. They follow us through the jungle repeating the note and Gale laughs.

"Just like your Father." He say's nudging me and I laugh. We break through the tree's and step onto the sand. I turn and see the birds' perched on the tree and they are waiting to hear my next song. I smile at them but my smile fades when I hear Johannas voice behind me.

"Let's go Mother nature we don't have time for your stupid games."

"Johanna that is enough." Finnick say's but I don't care I shove right past both of them and continue walking down the beach. Gale catches up to me and I load my bow.

"We need to go back to the cornucopia. I want to see if you and Beetee were right. It is almost eleven." Gale say's and that's what we do. When we make it to the island Finnick and Gale inspect it while I and Beetee wait for the wave. When they secure the area they join us and we all wait. I can almost hear the ticking of the clock and we watch the wave go up and splash far into the jungle.

"What should we do?" Parker say's.

"We just need to keep moving as time passes we can't stay in one spot for more than a few hours." I say watching the waves repeat.

"We should stay here. It's safe here we can make trips for water, but we will be safe from the arena." Johanna suggests and just as she finished the island begins to spin. We are all thrown to the side and I dig my arms and legs into the sand as it continues to spin. Suddenly it stops and the force of the stop rips me out of the sand and rolls me over. Sand was in my eyes making it hard to see and we were all coughing up the sand.

"Nice job Johanna now we don't know were to go because they moved us." I say in my raw voice looking for the wave.,but all that's left is the shore going up further than usual and that's happening everywhere.

"We just need to wait for the Blood rain and we will be fine." Finnick reassures. So we all sit in the sand and wait. Johanna picks through the supplies she comes back with a sword in her hand.

"I don't understand they put every weapon you could think of but they don't put any axes." She complains angrily. I laugh. Finnick looks at me and he realizes now why I did that.

"Maybe they figured you would die anyways so why bother." I say shrugging and not looking away from the jungle. I feel the tip of a sword be placed at my throat. I don't Panic because just as fast as I feel it placed there I feel it ripped away without even touching my skin.

"Both of you that is enough."Finnick says throwing her sword in the sand. He sit's down next to me but I ignore him. We hear the thunder signaling twelve and we all look around.

"DId anyone see the lightning?" I demand looking around for the rain but nothing comes. Nobody speaks up.

"They must have changed the whole system." Beetee say's also looking for the rain.

"Since we figured it out they must have changed the order of how things happen." I say agreeing.

"We can't stay here they will just keep spinning us around. Probably in our sleep. Parker and Beetee and Johanna can't swim and Gale and I are barely good enough to hold up ourselves." I say looking around trying to get a clue of what is happening in the woods but I see nothing.

"We need to go." Finnick confirms and we all decide on a strip of land. We walk there cautiously but nothing happens. We reach the beach and Parker and I head into the Jungle to get water. We find a nice tree and begin to carve into it.

"You really hate her don't you?" He says as I dig my knife in.

"Not as much as I show but I just hate that Finnicks thinks he can control me." I say honestly digging the knife in deeper.

"She doesn't make it very easy to like her." He say's digging the spile into the tree and twisting it in. Water comes gushing out and we fill the baskets with water. I wash my face with the water which was surprisingly cool today and he does the same before we head back with our hands full with the baskets. we had so many that we had to return to grab the rest. We all sit in the sand drinking the cool water. It tastes better and cleaner then ever. We all drink our share except for Beetee who is to focused on the coil of wire in his hands. Finnnick get's up to bring more. As I sit on the beach watching the waves I begin to feel a little dizzy. My head was beginning to ache but I ignored it. The waves seemed to be becoming more violent and I begin to worry we will get washed away. Then the water starts to disappear.

"What's happening?" I say watching the water dry into the sand.

"What are you talking about?" Johanna say's annoyed.

"The water! Its drying up!" I say standing and crawling in the sand that used to be moist. Then I hear a scream and I turn and Find Parker rolling on the ground.

"Fire!" He yells and keeps rolling. Gale places his hand on him to stop him but he continues to freak out. My mind continues to fuzz and it makes it nearly impossible to focus on him. I stand up just as Finnick walks out of the forest tripping over thin air. His hands and knees were shaking. I look around and the sun begins to darken. There's a pounding side in my right ear and I touch it and it sends pain coursing through my body I drop to my knees and agony. I pull my hand away and find it covered in black liquid that was oozing down my neck. I look around but it is nearly impossible to focus on anything at this point.

"What's happening!"I yell stumbling around. Finnick drops to his knees in front of me and that's when I get a look at the water. It fuzzy and unclear.

"What's going on Katniss." Gale say's placing his shaky arm's on me to steady me but the weight is to much and I fall to the ground.

"It must have been the water." I hear Beetee say. I know he's right. I look around and find Them all crouched in pain except for him. Suddenly I know why they are screaming. A pain shoots through my stomach and up my throat. It's so strong that I collapse to the ground. I flinch and grasp at the sand underneath me as the world exploded into dust around me. I shut my eyes tight but I felt things crawling and dripping around me. I scream when I open my eyes. A bloody Peeta was standing over me dripping blood. I roll away. And try to crawl but something grabs my feet and pulls me back. I grip at the sand trying to pull my self away from whatever terrors were behind me. I try to scream but I end up spitting blood everywhere. I place my hands on my throat which was pouring blood. I cough up blood. Everything aches and the world spins around me in a bloody explosive mess. Then everything stops. I sit up startled waiting for something worse to happen but nothing comes. My mind stops blurring and I can focus on the world around me. I look around and find everyone collapsed on the ground their eyes wide with fear the way mine probably are. Beetee is watching us closely and inspecting the water Finnick had brought.

"What happened?" I ask trying to decipher what part of hat was real even though I'm sure none of it was.

"The water had something in it. It drove you all crazy. It was all an illusion. Why would you all drink this?" He asks showing me the water I crawl over to him shakily and look at the water. It was cloudy with purple streaks in it.

"It didn't look like that it was clear. I sware I washed my face in it. I saw it. " I say frantically startled by it's appearence.

"Well no wonder you and Parker had it worse. You two washed yourself in it." He say's. I look over at Parker and crawl over to his shaking form.

"You ok?" I ask him and push his curly hair out of his face it was drenched in sweat and he flinched away at my hand. "It's ok it's just me. It wasn't real. Whatever you saw it wasn't real so relax." I say and help him sit up. I pat his back awkwardly and he nods. I move over to Gale who was already sitting up staring at the waves. His eyes looked glossy and distant.

"How you doing?" I say sitting next to him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into a hug. I hug him back and rub his back lightly.

"I'm okay." He say's finally pulling away. "You should go talk to Finnick." He say's nodding behind me to Finnick who was facing in front of the jungle mumbling unintelligible words. I sigh and get up on my shaky legs. i walk over to him slowly and when I get there he stops walking and talking. He just looks at me.

"Can we talk?" I say and he nods. We walk down the beach side by side until we are far enough so that no one will hear.

"Katniss please stop being mad at me." He say's finally. "I can't take it."

"Stop trying to control me Finnick. I am not yours to control to prevent me from doing things you know I would regret later. I don't care I just I don't like the way it feels. I feel out of control already and I don't need you adding to it." I admit and we stop walking and he turns to look at me.

"I'm sorry I really am I will stop. Just please forgive me." He say's and I don't wait I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest. I listen to his heart beat and he wraps his arms around me tightly. I close my eyes and forget all the things I saw today. All the bloody faces of the people I love holding me back. I force myself to only think of him and his heart beat and the slow rise and fall of his chest against me. I focus on the way his hand plays with the tip of my braid. I wrap my arms around his neck and plays with his gold curls on his neck. We stand wrapped in each others arms for what seems like hours but neither of us pull away.

"We should move." He say's but doesn't let go.

"We should" I agree but don't pull away. We both laugh and finally move. We walk hand in hand to the spot were everyone else was. They were eating fish. We all eat and the sun begins to set.

"We better get going ." I say. "Lets find a spot far away from here. We need water and I don't trust these trees." No one not even Johanna disagreed. We all took our time. It had been about two hours since the water incident so when we passed two we waited an hour before moving to the next section. We continued doing this we wanted as much time as possible. It was dark around ten or eleven when we decided to stop and rest. We all drank water thirstily we couldn't have enough. It's as though the other water dried us out but we were all to scarred to drink even after we left the area.

"I can keep watch tonight." Parker says when we were setting out our mat.

"It's ok."I say. "I'm not tired you go to sleep."

"Katniss you have stayed up every night since we got here." He say's.

"It's only been two nights and I am used to it go to sleep." I say. The truth is that I don't trust him alone. He is not a cowered but I don't think he has it in him to kill someone. "I will stay up with you. I can teach you how to swim."

"Ok fine." He say's giving in.

"Good night Kat." Finnick say's pulling me in for a kiss.

"Goodnight and stop calling me that." I say when he pulls away. I turn to walk around but he wraps his arms around me and tickles my sides.

"Meow." He whispers in my ear and his hot breath sends chills down my spine. he tickles me again and I laugh. "What was that you said?"

"Take it back." He says tickling me harder.

"No!" I laugh and squirm. Some how I manage to pull myself out of his arms and make a run for it. I run splashing into the water. He catches up to me and picks me up from behind and spins me around. I scream and laugh and suddenly he tosses me into the water. When i cope up he has his back to me. I jump on his back and tickle him. He squirms and laugh and he throws himself in the water pulling me down with him. I let go and resurface. My hair was all over my face and I gasp for air. He pops up in front of me an laughs at my appearance. He pushes the hair out of my face and I do the same for you. He tickles my sides again and I laugh.

"Will you two shut up! None of us can sleep with all your squealing!" Johanna yells, I take a deep breath and Finnick rubs my shoulders.

"Wake me up if you two get tired." He say's and kisses my forehead and goes to lay down on the mat. Parker makes his way over to me.

"You ready?" I say pulling him in deeper. "Take off your suit."

"Why?" He say's confused.

"There is some sort of padding in the shoulders and chest I guess it is supposed to help."I say and he nods and slips his suit off. I try not to look at him because he was clearly uncomfortable.

"Now what?" He ask's as he tosses his suit back on the sand.

"Umm." I bite my lip trying to think of how to start. "Ok just try to swim on your own that way I can see what your doing wrong." I say and he nods. He takes a step further and begins paddling around awkwardly in the water. I give a small laugh. "Ok relax and just let your body flow. It should come natural." I swim over to him and help him. I place my hands on his back and I see something that makes me smile.

"What?" He says when he see's my smile.

"Nothing it's just that. Peeta had the same freckles on his back that you do." I say and run my finger along them. Then I realize what I'm doing and I pull my hand away quickly. I clear my throat and take a step back. " I'm sorry."

"It's ok." He say's and give me a sympathetic smile. I know I shouldnt have said that out loud. I stop talking to him unless I am giving him instructions. By the time we hear the thunder he is already swimming through the water on his own. We both head back to the shore and lay down. I have my bow in my hand and I sit up to keep watch. Parker begins to fall asleep. I manage to talk him into going to sleep. He leaves and I stare out into the ocean. I feel the sand shift next to me and find Gale. He sit's behind me and he presses his back against mine and we both lean back against each other. Neither of us say a word and I continue to watch the small waves form.

"Did you pick him?" He ask's suddenly.

"No." I say. His question could mean anything but I need to cover it up. "He picked me."

We remain silent and I begin to get tired.

"I'm falling asleep. Are you ok on your own?"I ask as I crawl over to face him. He nods. I pull him into a hug and whisper in his ear."I'm sorry. I love you." I say and get up. I crawl up next to finnick and he startles then pulls me against his chest. I lay my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around me. It doesn't take long before I fall asleep.

I awake to someone rubbing my back. I force my eyes to open to the hot sun shinning bright above me.

"Good morning." Finnick says smiling at me. He continues to rub my back.

"You look very tan." He says running hs hand on my bare shoulder. My skin was burning it felt so dry. I try to roll off him but his grip on me tightens and he only pulls me closer to him. "No don't leave."

"We need to get up Finnick." I say and look around the beach. "Were are they?"

"They went into the jungle. Gale saw some sort of animal and they went to go track some down. I think they are getting tired of fish." He says tracing circle on my back. I relax into his chest.

"I'm tired." I whine and close my eyes.

"Go back to sleep. I'll take care of you." He say's and continues rubbing my back. It almost brings me back to sleep but I force myself to get up. "Dont leave." he whines and tries to pull me back down but I get up.

"Why are you so lazy?" I ask and pull him up.

"I'm not I was comfortable. I like watching you sleep. You look so much nicer. You don't scowl." He say's and I turn away from him. I think of Peeta. I wonder if he is watching us right now. I walk towards the tree and carve a whole into it.

"Did I say something wrong? I was just kidding." He say's coming over to me.

"You didn't say anything wrong. I'm just thirsty." I lie. "Go get us some fish."

"Of course I need to be able to support you if I want to make you mine someday." He say's kissing my cheek and walking towards the beach. I sigh and dig my knife in deeper. When I get a good stream of water coming out I drink some and then I also put it on my skin. I'm sure the salt in the ocean is only making things worse for my skin. It doesn't do me any good. I bring a basket of water to Finnick and he pulls me in for a kiss as a thank you. I want to tell him to stop being so affectionate but I know I can't. Not since we are supposed to be in love. I grab my bow and head into the forest. I come across another bush of aloe vera and I break some off. I peel off the skin and rub the chunks directly on my skin. It helps and it feels much better. I apply some to Finnicks shoulders and back because he is also beginning to burn.

"Can you apply some on my chest?" He say's and I blush.

"Actually I am going to go get some more for Gale and Parker. Here." I say handing him the chunk and walking off before he can say anything else. I ut off some more pieces and take off the skin. I have just finished when they come out of the woods. They have a basket filled with meat.

"What kind of meat is it?" I ask grabbing a piece it was a bit charred but fully cooked. "Squirrel?"

"No it's some sort of rat that lives in the trees." He say's. "It's safe Parker tried a piece."

"How did you cook it?" I ask hesitantly putting a piece in my mouth it tasted just like a squirrel but it was more juicy.

"The force field." He say's. I ignore it since I have already eaten the piece. I look at Parker and find his skin bright red.

"Come here." I say and help him apply the Aloe vera to his skin. I cant help but to run my hand along his freckles. I help Gale do the same. His skin wasn't like Parkers. It was just very dark and his nose was a little red. I imagine that's also how I look. I use all of the Aloe on them and ignore Johanna.

We all eat the fish and the juicy meat as we walk. When we decide we have gone far enough we sit down.

"I'll go get some water."I say and grab the basket's. I walk into the jungle to look for a good tree. I find one and begin to carve the hole.

"Katniss." I hear a voice say and I drop the knife and the spile. It was right behind me. There was no one there. I take a deep breath it must have been my imagination. I pick up the knife and the spile and continue carving. "Katniss." I hear again and I turn.

"Parker?" I call out.

"Katniss." I hear and the voice is so clear so beautiful that I nearly faint.

"Peeta." I say and begin to run I look frantically around the thick tree's but there is no one. "Peeta!" I yell desperately. The vine's around me seem to be growing and they fall around me. I break through them but soon there are so many I have to start cutting through them.

"Katniss!" I hear him yell desperately. I begin to run frantically though the vines cutting through most of them. "Peeta!" I scream at the top of my lungs cutting through as many vines as possible but they only become thicker and they grow stronger. I end up falling to the ground. The vines begin to tangle around me and I become trapped.

"Katniss!" I head another voice yell frantically. I try to free myself from the vines but they only squeeze me tighter as I try to struggle out.

"Peeta!"I yell desperately trying to find my way out. I try using my knife but I only end up cutting myself.

"Katniss!" I hear a voice say and it was close but it wasn't the voice I wanted to here.

"Peeta!" I say with tears running through my eyes from pain and desperation. Finnick appears and Gale is right behind him cutting the vines with his sword.

"Katniss are you alright?" He says crouching by me and he begins cutting the vines that had trapped me.

"Stop you need to go get Peeta! Peeta!" I scream again. He doesn't stop and continues to cut me away. He picks me up and carry's me out as Gale cuts away the vines. "Peeta!" I cry and try to get out of his arms but he throws me over his shoulder and holds me tight. "No! He's out there! We need to get him! Peeta! I love you!"I try to yell but my voice cracks over my sobs. I give up trying to get out of Finnicks arm's and I collapse into a sobbing mess. "Peeta." I cry uncontrollably. "I'm sorry." I continue to cry even after they put me down. I turn and run flat into Parker and I crumble at the sight of him. I would have fallen to the ground if he didn't catch me.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't save him. I'm sorry." I cry. I sob in his arm's but it isn't until I feel a different hand on my back that i really get set off. " I turn and Find Finnick behind me.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FUALT I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM! NOW I HAVE LOST MY SECOND CHANCE IT'S ALL YOUR FUALT!" I scream at him and push him with all the strength I have. He stumbles back shocked for a second.

"Katniss it wasn't real! Whatever you heard or saw it was fake it was to get you weak! You would have died if Gale and I didn't come for you!" He say's but I don't want to hear it.

"HE'S GONE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FUALT I HATE YOU! YOU TOOK AWAY MY SECOND CHANCE!" I scream and push-off the hands that were trying to hold me back.

"YOU WOULD HAVE DIED!" He yells back growing angry as well.

"I DONT CARE IT WAS MY TURN TO DIE! I SHOULDN'T BE HERE! HE SHOULD HAVE LIVED IN THE FIRST GAMES! IT WASN'T SUPOSSED TO BE ME I DONT DESERVE IT! HE SHOULD BE HERE!"I yell at this point I am pretty much just yelling at myself. A hand grabs my shoulder and turns me around forcefully I stumble and suddenly I feel a hand strike my cheek. The hit is blinding and I stumble back.

"Shut Up! No one cares! He is dead!" Johanna yells at me. Her last words set me off. No one was prepared for what I did next.

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Tell me what you think will happen next chapter in six reviews!


	18. Chapter 18 Blood had to be shed

Ok stop begging I will give you another chapter. HERE IT IS. Ta da

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I grab her by the neck and jump on her. We were close enough to the shore that her head ended up a foot deep in the water. I shove her face under water and quickly twist the knife out of her hand. I could tell I used to much force and I snapped something in her hand. She screamed and I pushed her back down under water. i toss the knife to the side and catch a glimpse of Gale holding Finnick back. I press my knees into her shoulder the same way Clove did to me last year and I know there will be nothing she could do. I grab her hair and pull her out of the water she's gasping for air.

"COME ON JOHANNA FIGHT BACK! SHOW PANEM THAT YOU CAN FIGHT BACK!" I yell before I shove her head back under water. She is splashing water and scratching at my thighs. I press down more into her shoulders with my knees and she struggles more to try and get a grip on me. I pull her head out of the water again.

"COME ON FIGHT ME!" I yell and shove her back under. She tries to uses her legs to wrap them around me but I am to far up for her to reach. I press all the weight I have into her. I pull her back up.

"DO YOU WANT TO SEE HOW I GOT MY TWELVE!" I scream and I punch her in the face. I give her a second to feel the pain and then I shove her back under. She grabs at my ankles and tries to pull at them but I have adrenaline running through me and she can't. I pull her back out and her hair snaps and I am holding small bunches of her hair.

"DONT YOU DARE SAY PEETA'S NAME AGAIN! YOU DONT DESERVE TO EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!"I spit in her face and I shove her down one last time. I press my hands into her throat and this time she hardly fights back she is too weak. I feel her grip on my ankles loosen and I press down more into her throat. Suddenly I feel someone rip me off of her. I kick and scream and try to fight my way out of his arm's but his grip is too tight.

"LET ME GO! I'M GOING TO KILL HER! I WILL RIP HER TO SHREDS WITH MY BARE HANDS!" I scream and try shoving my elbow in his gut. He flinch's in pain but it doesn't stop him. I stop fighting because I know I wont win. He set's me down and I whip around to face Finnick.

"Keep her away from me or I will kill her!" I say with all the fire I feel. I shove him back and I walk off down the beach. No one follows me and I am grateful. I pull off my suit and I dive in the water. I glide in and continue swimming until I reach the stand were we all jumped off when we first arrived. I climb up on it and sit down. I watch the water rise up and wash off the blood from my legs. She had scratched me pretty good and I had also cut my self trying to get out of the vines. I pull the strands of hair that I had ripped out of her head. They were all tangled in my fingers. I pull them out and wash my hands. The more I think about what I did the more I regret it. I don't regret beating her up but I do regret hitting Finnick.

"Katniss." I hear someone call behind me. I turn and its Parker standing on the shore. "Are you ok?" He ask's and I smile. Gale and Finnick were both trying to help Johanna and he came to see if I was ok. I nod and a few tears escape my eyes. "Come here." He say's stepping in a few feet deep. I pull myself off the stand and swim towards him. When I reach him he pulls me into a hug and I cry.

"I want him back." I cry. He rubs my back.

"I know so do I but he's gone Katniss." He say's and I sob harder. I wish I could tell him the truth. He was out there somewhere waiting for me. When I finally calm down we both sit on the sand. He holds both of my hands in his. We watch the sun set.

"We should go back." I say finally. "I need to apologize."

"I think she deserved it." He say's and I laugh. We stand up and make our way to the beach where they are all sitting. My smile disappears when Finnick see's me and walks away. He walks over to were Johanna was laying. Her nose and her eyes were bruised. I had probably broken her nose. She had moss up her nostrils to stop the bleeding and her wrist and thumb were also bruised. She also had bruises around her neck were I had choked her. Even from were I was standing I could hear her having trouble breathing. I look away when Finnick catches me staring and he glares at me. Gale places his hand on my back and rubs it.

"Can we talk?" He asks and he pulls me down to the shore. We were far enough away from them to here and the waves were coming in strong so you could barely hear anything anyways.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask him sitting in the water. He sit's down next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders and I relax.

"I thought what you did was great." He say's and I look at his face to see him smiling.

"Now Finnick hates me." I sigh.

"He's not mad that you tried to kill her. He's upset. He thinks your still in love with Peeta. He's hurt." He says and squeezes my shoulder.

"It wasn't like that." I sigh looking down.

"Yes it was Katniss. We all know you still love Peeta. He doesn't care about that. He is just scared he wont be able to compete with someone like him. I don't think so either." I know what he ment. He felt the same way as he did.

"I just miss him. He knew me for maybe a month and it was like he understood me so well. I miss him. I don't love him like that." I lie." I just want my friend back. I love Finnick. I love you both. No one could compare to either of you because you are all so different. You three are the best men I know."

"I love you too Katnip. You're the best cousin anyone could ever ask for." He say's and I smile.

"Your my best friend Gale." I say and lean into him. We sit for a while and then Parker joins us. He hands me a basket of fish and we both eat.

"We should leave them." Finnick say's.

"Finnick doesn't want to leave her and she's injured and she will try to kill Katniss every time we go to sleep." Parker say's agreeing.

"We can't leave Finnick with an injured person. As much as I want her gone we will get him killed and I can't do that." I say.

"We can't all live Katniss and if it get's down to us four then what can we do." Gale say's trying to convince me.

"We are all going to fight to live until the last second. If it comes down to us then we will have to figure it out somehow but for now we will all live." I say firmly. I wont leave him.

"Let's kill her then." Parker say's and I turn to him wide-eyed.

"Finnick would definitely hate me if I finish her off." I say turning and watching him help her drink water. I didn't like it.

"I will do it. I don't care if he likes me. It's not like he ever did." Gale says shrugging.

"No he may hesitate to kill me but he wont think twice of killing you." I say thinking of how much he already dislikes him. "I will do it. He already wont talk to me. I don't care if he hates me at least we will be safe." I say I hope he will forgive me. "I need to somehow get her alone though." I say.

"We can help." Parker say's. Just as Finnick shows up.

"Help with what." He demands not looking at me.

"I want to go looking for Peeta in the Jungle tomorrow. I know he's in there and they will help me. You and Beetee can stay with Johanna." I say looking at him as I lie so he believes me but it doesn't matter because he wont look at me. "I can keep watch tonight."

"No I don't trust you I will keep watch." Johanna say's walking up. Beetee was on the mat staring up at the sky and fiddling with the wire in his hands.

"Well I don't trust you either." I say standing up. She takes a step closer to me and presses her chest against mine.

"Well then we can both keep watch." She say's pushing on my chest and forcing me back. I don't care if she is awake or asleep when I kill her.

"I don't trust either of you. I will stay up with you." Finnick says pulling me away from her. I push him off me and step closer to her. Parker grabs my shoulder and steps in between all three of us.

"All of you go to sleep it has been a long day today. Finnick you must be exhausted and I know your gut hurts from the hit Katniss gave you. Johanna you dont feel well either. All of you sleep Gale and I can keep watch. Finnick we will make sure nothing goes wrong." Parker say's. Finnick hesitates but since Parker said it he believed him.

"Come on Johanna." She takes one more look at me and Gale the she follows Finnick to the mat. Beetee get's off and sit on the sand and continues with what he was doing.

"Katniss go lay down on the other mat over there." Gale say's then pulls me into a hug."We will wake you up." He whispers in my ear.

"Goodnight." I say and grab the mat and pull it away from the other. I lay down on it and roll onto my side to watch Finnick. I wish he would just look at me. I sigh as he lays down next to her. Gale and Parker sit in between us. I roll over onto my other side and try to fall asleep. I lay awake for a while and just begin tracing shapes in the sand behind me. When I feel a shoulder in my hand I jump up in anticipation.

"Hold him down if he wakes up." I whisper and Gale nods. I take the knife out of my belt and walk over to their mat slowly to not wake them up. I take a deep breath and crouch down beside her carefully. Gale is next to Finnick and before I can think of anything else I slice her throaght open. He blood get's all over my hands and it splattesr on Finnick. He jumps up immediately and nearly tacke=les me to the ground but Gale grabs him by the shoulders and throws him back down. It scares me though and I fall back on my butt. I crawl away from him fast.

"KATNISS!" He yells furiously.

"I'm sorry I had to do it!" I say desperately crawling away from him as he furiously tries to grab at me. The cannon goes off and she's dead.

"She's write Finnick she could barely breathe she wouldn't last much longer!" Parker say's holding him back as well.

"THAT WASN'T A DECISION FOR HER TO MAKE!" He yells furiously. I wipe the tears from my eyes.

"She did you a favor. Johanna was dying and even before she was she created to much conflict. She wasn't here to help us." Beetee say's looking him in the eye. This calm's him down. He takes a deep breath and looks me in the eyes. I wish he was back to not looking at me because the look he gives me breaks my heart. I get off the ground and he snaps out of Gale and Parkers hold and crouches down by Johanna's lifeless body.

"I can't believe you lied to me Parker. I trusted you." He say's sadly. Parker looks away.

"It had to be done Finnick I'm sorry." He say's sadly. His face breaks my heart even more.

"Dont you dare make him feel like that!" I yell growing angry. "She had to go and I'm sorry we had to do it behind your back but you wouldn't listen! We had to do it! I don't care if you hate me but they did nothing wrong! Hate me! I don't care but I probably saved your life. She would have killed any of us in a heart beat because she didn't care for anyone other than herself!"

"Get away from me." He say's and this time I nearly crumble. "I don't want to look at you."

"Fine." I say bitterly even though I am shaking inside. "Sorry for the mess." I say and toss the bloody knife into the sand next to her and walk away. I walk to the shore and wash my hands from the blood. What I hear catches my attention.

"Dont you dare talk to her like that!" I hear Gale yell and I turn around to see him punch him across the face. I stay put but when Finnick gets back up with he knife I left on the ground I jump up and run to them. I grab Finnick arm and pull it back but I wish I hadn't. When he rips his hand out of mine he ends up slicing my abdomen open. I fall to my knee's and gasp. I place my hands on the blood coming out of my stomach. I cough up blood and everyone jumps down around me.

"Katniss I'm sorry are you alright!" Finnick say frantically and places his hands over my bloody ones. I push him off with the little force I have. Gale lunges at him and throws him to the ground. "

"Stop him." I gasp at Parker, my voice is barely audible. I unzip my suit and look at my wound as Parker jumps up and separates them.

"Enough!" I hear him yell. "Your not helping her!" He yells as I asses the damage. It wasn't deep, but there was still a lot of blood coming out and my head was beginning to spin.

I fall on my back and wince at the pain. They gather around me and look at my wound.

"I'm fine." I manage to say. Gale jumps up to get something that will help.

"Katniss I'm sorry I didn't mean to I sware." I hear Finnick say next to me but I can't focus on anything.

"It's ok I know." I say and feel him press his hand over mine that were dropped at my sides.

"Get away from her! Dont touch her!" I hear someone yell as I black out.

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"Is she alright?" I hear someone ask worried.

"I hope she slit's your throat open when she wakes up." I hear someone else say in anger.

"Maybe we shouldn't tell her the truth." I hear another sweet voice say.

"He's right it could cause problems." I hear a different voice say only his voice didn't have much emotion in it.

"We have to tell her! She has a right to know who did this to her!" I hear the angry voice say.

"If we tell her she might do something she will regret." I hear the sweet voice say.

"He's right." I hear the emotionless voice say. There's a long pause and I try to open my eyes but my body refuses to correspond.

"Maybe she will remember. It would be hard to forget who stabbed you." I hear the angry voice say but his tone was changing.

"If she remembers then there is nothing we can do. If she doesn't than we wont tell her anything." I hear the intelligent voice say. No one say's anything else. try to force my eyes open.

"Her eye moved." I hear the worried voice say. I try again and this time it opens but the light is too bright and I shut it closed again.

"She's waking up." I try again and this time when I open it I am under shade.

"What happened?" I say in my chocked up voice.

"Katniss take your time don't force yourself." I look around and find Beetee, Parker, Gale, and Finnick crouched around me.

"Were's Johanna?" I ask confused.

"What's the last thing you remember Katniss?"I hear Gale ask as he leans over me. Finnick was holding a basket over my eyes to block the sun.

"Peeta was here. I heard him. Then the vines tangled me up." I say. "What happened?" I demand and try to sit up but a sharp pain shoots from my stomach. I ignore it and continue trying to sit up.

"Katniss relax you will hurt yourself." I hear Parker say and he lightly places his hand on my shoulder and I drop back down. This time I end up with my head in Gale's lap. I try to clear my throat but I end up coughing.

"Drink some water love." Finnick say's and holds the basket to my lips. I drink thirstily. I relax back onto Gale's lap and he pushes the hair out of my face that was sticking from the sweat and humidty.

"What happened?" I ask again.

"You cut yourself when you got tangled up in the vines. Gale and Parker saved you." Beetee say's I realize I am only in a bra and shorts and I feel self conscious. I look at my stomach and find it stitched up. "Your sponsors sent in the supplies Finnick knew how to stich you up. Your going to be fine you just need to take it easy." I clear my throaght and cover my chest with my arms. Something in there story didn't click but right now I don't care.

"And Johanna?"

"She and Gale got into a fight. She stormed off and was killed in the jungle."Beetee answer's again.

"Okay." I say but I know it's a lie. The more he tells me the less sense it makes. Then I remember their conversation. I try to sit up and this time they help me.

"How are you feeling?" Finnick ask's.

"I'm okay. A little hungry. How long has it been?"

"You have been asleep for two days."Parker answer's. He brings over some fish and Gale feeds me small pieces and I drink more water.

"We need to move." I say remembering the arena.

"Things have changed Katniss. The clock no longer goes in order it goes clock wise then it reverses to counter clock wise. It has been going back and forth ever since the day you passed out. That is how you ended up in the jungle with them playing Games with you." Beetee say's.

"How many deaths?" I ask taking in all the information.

"There were two deaths today. We don't know who yet. So far We haven't run in to anybody." Finnick say's and strokes my cheek. I lean my hand in his palm and close my eyes. Then I remember and I flinch away from his hand.

"Are you in pain?" He say's alert by my sudden movement.

"It was you." I say before I can stop myself. I wish I hadn't said it because as the words leave my lips he cracks.

"I'm sorry Katniss I swear I never meant to hurt you I was mad but I would never hurt you on purpose you have to believe me." He begs. His hands were trembling at his sides.

"I know. Dont ever try to lie to me again." I say turning to face everyone else.

"I didn't want to they talked me into it." Gale say's looking guilty.

"I don't care just don't do it. I know you were trying to help, but I would never hurt Finnick." I say. I grab his hand. "I'm sorry about johanna."

"I think were even." He say's and squeezes my hand. I pull away quickly.

"Can I walk around?" I say and he and Gale jump up to help me stand. At first they put my arms around both of their shoulders but I feel embarrassed with no shirt on so I quickly cover my chest. Finnick laughs and pulls off his undershirt and helps me into it. I feel fine but it hurts to lift my arms.

"What happened to my clothes?" I ask as I place my arm around Gale's neck despite the pain and he helps me walk slowly.

"They were so drenched in blood that we set them out to dry and the tide washed them away. We still have your boots though" Gale say's. My muscle's are sore but my abdomen doesn't hurt very much. Only when I stretch. "How you feeling." He say's as we walk.

"I'm good." I say and eventually he pulls me back to sit. I lean against a tree as they all gather food and water. Beetee keeps me company and he fiddles with he wire while I run my finger along my red stitches. I know they will scar. I will never be able to forget.

"What is that for?" I ask him for the first time. He is always looking up into the sky searching for something and playing with the wire.

"It's a wire. I haven't figured out how to use it yet though."He say's and i know he is lying. That wire is going to get us out of here, but he's waiting for something.

"Well when you figure it out don't use it on me."I joke. He gives me a small smile but doesn't look at me. Suddenly another cannon goes off.

"Who do you think it was?" I say as we watch the body rise out of the jungle. It was dripping I am guessing it's blood. Then the claw drops down again and I realize what ever it was over there if left the body crumbling.

"Does it matter?" He say's. We don't talk anymore. I continue to trace my jagged stitches. Parker shows up with a basket filled with aloe vera. We all apply it to our skin and when we are done I rub a piece along my stitches. It soothes the itching that I had been trying to ignore. My nose and shoulders had burned and my skin was beginning to peel. We were all suffering from the effects of the sun. I wish we could stay in the Jungle under the canopy of tree's but it's too dangerous.

"Thirsty?" Finnick ask's walking up to me. His hair was all wet and dripping and his skin was glistening. He hand me a basket with water which I don't hesitate to drink. He leans against my tree but I scoot away from him. He doesn't question it.

"Hows the stitches?" He ask's as he watches me rub the aloe vera on it.

"Its fine. I wish your lines were a little straighter." I joke and he smiles. "The aloe vera is supposed to be good for scars. MAybe if I start now it wont scar at all."

"I hope it goes away. I don't want you to look at it and think of me."He say's sadly.

"You will be lucky if I remember you at all." I joke again and he laughs but his smile goes away soon. I pull his wet head onto my lap and he traces my scar with his finger.

"I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."He say's his voice cracking. "I love you so much Katniss."

"It's ok Finnick it was my fault. I shouldn't have come up from behind you like that." I say and twirl his curls in my finger.

"No it isn't I don't know why I cared so much if she died. I would kill her a million times over if I could take back what I did for you." He say's and sit's up to look in my eyes. "I am so in love with you. I have never felt the way I do when I am with you." I look down into my lap.

"I love you too, I feel different when I am with you too, but I don't know what that means. No matter what it means. I don't want to rush anything Finnick you need to slow down. I am seventeen years old. I don't want to get married and have children and even if someday I do want that, I don't want to think of any of it right now." I say and he nods and looks away at the beach. I lean into him and lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Dont be your right. I need to keep you safe that way someday you can find love and have kids with someone who deserves you. I will get you home safe." He says stroking my hair. I pause. I know I need to say it. Not just because all of panem is watching,but because he needs to hear it too. I take a deep breath and force the words out.

"It wouldn't be home if you aren't there." I say and he kisses me softly. It was soft and I almost didn't feel it but somehow I felt all the love he had for me through it. Beetee clears his throat next to me and I blush and quickly pull away. Finnick smiles brightly at me. I lean back on the tree and this time he scoots closer to me.

"Are you married Beetee." Finnick asks him as he grabs my hand and places with my fingers.

"I have my love waiting for me." He say's but he leaves it at that.

"Can I get up and do something?" I ask. " I can't just sit here any longer."

"You need to rest Katniss if you open your stitches we wont be able to stitch you up again. They barely sent enough to stitch you the first time." I sigh and go back to rubbing the aloe on my stitches.

"Shouldnt we be moving?" I ask when I get bored again.

"Your right we do need to move." He say's standing up. He helps me up and we walk over to Gale and Parker who were already gathering all our things.

"Which way should we move?" I ask happily sitting around is not something I enjoy. Not after I spent two days sleeping.

"The jungle." They all say.

"We are going a few sections down the beach to were the wave doesn't reach." Gale say's.

"It's safe there?" I ask confused.

"This is the first time we will try it. We didn't want to go in the jungle with you sleeping."Parker say's.

"Okay..." I say but I'm not sure.

"Don't worry I will take care of you." Finnick say's into my ear. He was standing behind me with his hands on my waist as if I would fall over. I give him a small smile. I hear Gale laugh and I wish I could do the same. It's not that it wasn't sweet because it is, but I don't care for that stuff. Not only that but it's funny since I was in more danger around him then I was away from him.

"I can carry all of stuff. " Parker say's.

"I got your back." Gale say's.

"I will carry the most important thing." Finnick say's and swoops me up in his arm's.

"Can I walk?" I ask but his smile disappears." At least until I get tired."

"Okay." He agree's.

"Do you want me to carry you. I understand if he makes you uncomfortable." Gale say's stepping up.

"It was an accident." Finnick say's also stepping up to him.

"I don't need to be carried I am not a baby. Parker if i get tired will YOU carry me." I say anoyed walking right inbetween them.

"Of course." He say's and I grab a few baskets from his arm's.

"Katniss." They both object but I ignore it and we begin walking. I don't get tired for a while despite the hot sun. We reach the section quickly and we head into the jungle without hesitation. I begin to have trouble steeping around the vines and Parker does end up carrying me. I have my arms wrapped around his neck. He had gained muscle here in the arena. He did have some when we first arrived but they are much more profound.

"When did you become so muscular." I joke trying to get over the awkwardness of being pressed against him. He laughs and his cheeks turn red.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I ask.

"No."He answers simply.

"Are you interested in anyone?" I ask.

"No. I guess I don't look at other women very often." He say's.

"What about me." I say running my finger along his chest. He had his suit slightly unzipped and I trace the skin there and wink at him seductively. We both laugh and I begin to relax.

"I can carry her if you are tired." Gale say's behind us and we ignore him.

"Do you miss home?"

"A little. I didn't have many friends but I do miss my family. "

"Me too." I say. I wonder what they are doing. Are they at the house with Gale's family. Are they all huddled around the tv waiting to see what happens next? Is Prim upset that Finnick cut me? I know it was an accident but it might not seem like that to them.

"I think I can walk now." I say.

"Are you sure?"He asks and they all stop.

"I'm fine." I assure him and he set's me down. I grab my bow off his back and load it.

"I don't think you will be able to use it without your stitches opening up." Finnick say's.

" Let's see." I say and before he can stop me I shoot and arrow at a Tree rat a few yards away. I hit him in the head and look down at my stitches. They are fine. I turn to smile at him but he looks annoyed. "I'm fine." I say and we all continue walking. I keep my eyes out for the little square but when I do see it Beetee beats me to it. He tosses a chunk of the rat meat to it and it comes back black.

"We should stay here." Finnick say's. I set out to draw a line in front of it and they begin to set up our stuff. When I make a line long enough I find a good tree.

"What are you doing?" Gale say's watching me closely.

"I wanna see how far the wave comes." I say and pull myself up the first branch.

"Katniss you are going to hurt yourself."Finnick say's.

"I have climbed tree's and shot arrows for a while now. I think I can handle it." I say and climb up the tree slowly. I feel the tree shake a bit and I look down. Gale was right behind me. I sigh but I know he wont leave. I climb up high enough and Gale follows me up all the way even though it is higher than he is used to. We both wait and watch the ocean. We wait a few minutes before the water begins to recede. We watch as it gather's and forms a large wave. It rushes forward and heads deep into the jungle about half way smaller waves form but they don't compare to the first.

"It doesn't go in more than half way." I yell down.

"Katniss stay up there don't move!" I hear faintly. I watch as they're tiny forms break out into a run.

"What's happening?" I ask Gale who is watching just as closely as I am. We wait for a figure to pass or maybe a wild animal but we don't see anything. We continue to watch for a long time and we don't see anything. We begin to head down.

"Wait!" Gale says and I stop. I look down and see what it is.

"Is it smoke?"Is something on fire? I think remembering the fire that chased me last time.

"they wouldn't have told us to stay here if it was." Gale say's. "It must be some sort of mist or maybe a fog?"

We continue watching and I begin to worry about Finnick and Parker and even Beetee.

"Are you alright are you hurting?" Gale ask's and I realize I am shaking. I take a deep breath.

"I'm fine." I say and we continue to watch. My hands begin to feel tired and my shaking wasn't helping.

"I think it's going down." Gale say's.

"I think so too." Soon enough it does begin to fade until its completely gone.

"Should we get down?" I say but I know no matter what we have to because my nerves are kicking in and I can't hold on much longer. We head down slowly and I relax the minute my feet touch the ground. Then the cannon goes off.

"Finnick." I say and I break out into a run. I head straight for the beach. I feel Gale right on my heel but I don't slow down. I feel a drop of blood oozing from my stitches but I don't slow down I keep running until I break out to the beach. I come to a halt just past the tree's and I relax when I see them standing over a body. I sigh and drop to my knees. I hear Gale break through the jungle.

"Katniss are you alright?" Finnick say's and walks over to me. His hands were bloody and he had a cut going down the right side of his face.

"I'm fine I just... I thought... I heard the cannon... I just." I stutter and try to catch my breath but the fact that I have tears running down my face doesn't help.

"She ran so fast I don't know how she did it I could barely keep up." Gale say's behind me. He was breathless. "What happened?" I grab finnicks face and look at his cut I was still gasping. It wasnt very deep. It barely broke the skin but it ran down almost his entire face.

"I'm fine Katniss it's just a scratch. We saw the fog coming. We ran it barely touched us. when we reached the jungle we were ambushed by Seeder. She had gone mad her eyes were wide and his hair was just everywhere. I don't know what they did to him. She came over to me and started slashing at me with the knife. Parker came from behind him and speared him in the back. As she fell her knife hit me but it's nothing I'm fine. Let me look at your stitches. " He helps me lay on my back and he inspects them.

"Your okay they opened just a little you just need to take it easy." He say's but I barely listen. I am still shaken up. "Katniss I'm fine I sware. please relax." I nod and I try to relax. I take a deep breath but it comes out shaky and broken. He rubs my back and I hug him. I run my hands all over him to make sure he's alright. I grab his face and look into his eyes.

"I'm ok Kat." He say's and I let out a shaky laugh. I stand up and put my shirt back on which he took off to view my stitches.

"Gale are you alright." I say and help him up.

"I'm good." He say's.

"Parker?" I ask turning to him. He gives me a small smile. He's upset. He killed Seeder.

"Thank you."I say and walk over to him I wrap my arm around his shoulder and he leans in to me. I don't know when I suddenly became an affectionate person but I'm glad. It's nice to feel someones warmth against you. The sun was descending and it was almost peaceful.

"They are changing the order of the arena. It's out of order and now they are doubling. The wave and the fog came at the same time." Beetee say's mindlessly. He was drawing a diagram in the sand. It was scribbled and the lines were jagged. Numbers were scattered. It made no sense to me at all. I continue to rub Parkers back and he begins to really relax against me. A cannon goes off and we all look around the arena. A body is picked up from the other side of the arena. Its dripping again but this time it looks red.

"The blood rain is over there even though we just had the wave and fog here." Beetee murmurs to himself and begins to write all new thing's on the ground. We all eat that night and we drink tons of water. We were all so tired.

"I can stay up I have been asleep for days." I say.

"No Kat you need your sleep. I can keep watch tonight." Finnick objects.

"I'll stay with you to make sure you don't fall asleep." I say because I can see how tired he is.

"Wake me up in a few hours." Gale say's because he is too tired to not go to sleep.

Finnick goes to sit in the sand with the water brushing his feet every few seconds. I crawl over to him and I lay my head in his lap. He is staring up at the moon while I stare up at his face. His cut wasn't bleeding and it didn't look infected so it was ok.

"Are you upset that your pretty face isn't so pretty anymore?"I ask him. He looks down at me and smiles.

"You don't think it will scar do you? I don't think I can live being an ugly person."He say's with fake worry. His big worry is going to be staying alive long enough to let it scar. I reach my hand up and rest my hand on his other cheek. He leans his hand into it the way I did. He closes his eyes as I brush my thumb along his cheek.

"Meow." he purrs and I laugh and slap his cheek lightly before pulling it away. He opens his eyes and stairs down at me. "Katniss I really love you." He say's not looking away from my eyes.

"Stop saying that." I say and look away from his eyes.

"I can't. I want to be able to tell you every second of everyday." He say's and I sit up.

"Finnick I can't do this you know I can't. I can't fall in love with you ar anybody." By anybody I meant ever I said didn't matter because somehow I already felt as though I had fallen in love. I hated myself for it. " Not now and not here." I continue." I fell in love with Peeta and he's gone. I cant risk losing the next person I fall in love with. I just cant." I say quietly. I was reassuring myself more than him.

"Katniss I know you love me too I need to hear it now. I need to hear it before something bad happens to one of us. I don't want to die not knowing for a fact that you love me to." He say's desperately. His grip on my hand is tight and it hurts but I don't pull it away.

"I'm sorry." I say after a while. "I just can't."

"Well I love you and I'm not afraid to say it. Not now when we have the chance."He say's angrily. I look up into his eyes. He was hurt, but there was nothing I could do and nothing else I can say. I cautiously rest my hand back on his cheek and he once again leans into it and closes his eye. When A tear escapes from his eyes my heart breaks. I know he's right. I do love him. I wipe it away with my thumb and I lean in and give him a kiss. I pour my heart into it. I only hope he can feel it. We don't say anything after. He pulls me back down to lay my head in his lap and he strokes my hair with one of his hand's.

"Sing me a song?" I whisper. He looks up at the ocean waves and pauses before he sings. I close my eyes and let his sweet voice fill my heart with love.

Love me tender, love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made my life complete

And I love you so

Love me tender, love me true

All my dreams fulfill

For my darling' , I love you

And I always will

Love me tender, love me long

Take me to your heart

For it's there that I belong

And we'll never part

Love me tender, love me true

All my dreams fulfil

For my darling', I love you

And I always will

Love me tender, love me dear

Tell me you are mine

I'll be yours through all the years

till the end of time

Love me tender, love me true

All my dreams fulfill

For my darling', I love you

And I always will

He doesn't look at me once while he sings but I feel as though he is looking right through me. He sighs and Finally looks down. I give him a small smile and my eyes water. I close my eyes to stop the tears from escaping but I am sure he noticed. I feel his hand on my cheek and he strokes it until I drift off.

"Katniss?" I hear and I open my eyes. "Gale is going to keep watch now." I sit up and look around. Gale is standing over us. "He helps me up and Finnick and I walk over to the mat's we lay down and we both fall asleep immediately.

* * *

Ok I am no song writer so I picked a song. Can anyone guess the name and singer ? I will give you a hint it's a man and he is one of my favorites. Don't cheat though.

Give me a hundred reviews and I will post the next chapter!

Just kidding fifteen is more than enough. I know its a lot buuuut I got writers block and while I do have the next four chapters already written I do want time before I post them all so that I can write more.

Was anyone disappointed with this chapter. I know you all want it to be Finniss but every relationship has problems and some one always ends up getting hurt. So a little blood had to be shed. Tell me what you think don't be shy.


	19. Chapter 19

Ok so it looks like someone posted half the reviews by themselves. Luckily I find that very flattering so here it is.

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I wake up startled and sweaty. I had a horrible dream and I couldn't even remember it. It was still dark out so I haven't been asleep for long. Finnick was next to me and he was fast asleep. I brush the hair out of his face and kiss his forehead. He looked so sweet. I know I wont go back to sleep so I carefully slide out of his arm's and make my way to the beach were Gale was sitting in the sand with his bow ready.

"Hey." I say and sit next to him. He doesn't look at me.

"How are the stitches." He murmurs.

"There ok." I mumbled as I lifted my shirt and inspected them. "They are healing fast."

"They sent some sort of oil to put on it. I guess that's what it was for." He explains without looking at me.

"I wish they had sent something for the itching. I don't want to scar but it hurts." I complain.

"Put some Aloe on it."

"Is something wrong?" I ask ignoring him.

"You love him don't you?" He whispers slowly. I almost didn't hear it. I know I didn't want to hear it.

"Love who?" I say acting confused even though I know exactly who he is talking about.

"Finnick. You love him." He states a bit louder this time.

"Gale..." I begin but he interrupts me.

"I can't compete with him and with Peeta. I can't win."

"It's not like that Gale." I say but I don't know how to tell him. I can't say anything without blowing everything up.

"I know you to tell me it's not real, but it is. You love him just admit it." He says louder. He was growing angry.

"I can't because he's not the only one. I think I love you too." I say weakly. I have ruined everything and I can almost hear Haymitch groaning.

"I know you love me, but it's not the same. It's not the way you love them." He say's. Maybe he is right but there's something more than that.

"Gale please just let me explain." I say even tough I don't know how to do that.

"What can you possibly say that will convince me other wise." He say's standing up and walking to the shore. He's right there is nothing I can say. So I stand up and walk behind him. I place my hand on his shoulder and whisper his name. Before I can convince myself how wrong it is I turn him around and kiss him. I wrap my arms around his neck. I almost expect him to push me away but he doesn't. He presses his hands on my hips and pulls me closer and I do the same. We couldn't be any closer. It was more than just his touch. It was him. His soul and mine became one in those moments and I didn't want it to end. He wraps his arm's around me completely and I pull him even closer. Our kisses were soft and urgent. Two things that don't seem like they can be combined but somehow he and I did the impossible. I know I should regret this. That I should feel bad and scarred about what I just did but at the moment I refuse to think of all the awful things I might be causing. I grasp at him tightly. I don't want to lose this moment. I'm not ready. I feel a fire burning in the pit of my stomach. I was hungry and I couldn't get enough. I feel his hands on my hips and he lifts me up easily. I wrap my legs around his body and I pull him even closer. I know we are moving but I don't care. I feel my back press up against something but I don't pay much attention. The only thing I can really focus on is him. My hands are frantically feeling him. His neck and his shoulders. His strong back and his dark hair. I knew everything from his body before but somehow it all feels new to me. The arc of his back and the muscles on his chest.

"Katniss." I hear someone say. If it wasn't for whatever was against my back I would have jumped back. I unwrap my self from his body and he also releases me without hesitation. I don't want to look up because I don't want to see his eyes.

"Finnick..." I whimper when I finally look up at him. He was hurt. His hair was messy from his sleep and his eyes were tired but they were wide open. The color was drained from his face. "Finnick I.." I stutter because I don't know were to begin.

"Just forget it." He say's and turns around. He walks away slowly but I can't find a way to make my legs move and I can't find my voice to apologize. I look up at Gale and he's looking away from me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to him before I find my legs running toward Finnick. "Finnick wait let me explain!" I say urgently and I place my hand on his shoulder. He stops walking but he doesn't turn. "Finnick I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking I shouldnt have done that." I say stuttering.

"I can't believe it. I honestly thought tonight was different. I thought tonight you understood how I felt. I though you loved me too. I'm so stupid. He say's but it's more to himself than to me.

"Your not I do love you Finnick. I love you. I just... I don't know what to tell you... I don't know what to tell Gale either. But I do love you." I say with tears running down my face.

"Dont." He whispers.

"'I do love you."I insist.

" Dont you dare say that now. It's to late. Dont tell me you love me after you break my heart." he say's and walks away. I want to follow him. I want to tell him I choose him. I want to say I love him more. But I don't. because I don't know if I would be telling the truth.

"Katniss..." I hear Gale say behind me. I lift up my palm to stop whatever it was that he was about to say.

"I can't Gale I'm sorry just please leave me alone right now." I manage to say in a my broken voice. "I'm sorry I just can't do this." I say again and I walk away. I want to forget. I want to go back in time. I want to rewind my life and return to the arena. I want to let myself before I had even found Peeta. I wish I had stayed in the blood bath to die. I don't want to be in the middle of this. I want to go back to the night Haymitch told me to have Finnick as my fake boyfriend. I want to go back to our first kiss. The day Gale and I kissed want that gone. I want every single moment of tonight gone,but it's not going anywhere. It's here. everywhere I look I have memories. I see Finnick and the ocean were we had laughed and kissed all those times. I see Gale in the tree's even though they are not the same I still see us perching around them waiting for game to come along. I see Peeta in the stars above me that are slowly fading. I don't know were I am going or how far I have gone but I don't care. I have never felt worse. Not just for Finnick and for Gale. But for Peeta and my sister and my mother and Gale's mother. I know they are all watching. I know they all saw. I cant bear the thought of what they might be saying right now. I spot a few boulders and climb on top of them. I let my tears out. I sob like a child. I hardly notice the world around me. None of this should be happening. I should be at home with my sister and my mother. We should all be huddled around the fire in our little house. I begin to grow angry. With myself and with the capital. This isn't right. I shouldn't be in this mess. I may not be the best person but I know I don't deserve to suffer like this.

The sky is orange and it makes the waves glow as they rise and fall in front of me. I look down the beach. I can see them from here. I know it's time to go back but I can barely find my legs to move. I step off the rock and walk around. I stop and stare at the waves for another moment to gather the courage to face them both. I feel the sand shift behind me and soon after I feel a knife at my throat. I place my hand on my belt but knife is missing. It must have slipped out somewhere. Or maybe I never had it at all I was to preoccupied to even check.

"Hello Katniss." I hear an unfamiliar voice whisper in my ear. I try to think of all the male tributes that are still alive but they have not been showing the casualties at night. "You have had quite a night." He purrs in my ear his hot breath disgusts me. I try to think of a way to escape but I can't because my mind is still fuzzy. "Why don't you give me a kiss too and I will let you live." He say's and I feel his other hand wrap around my waist. I try to pull away but the knife at my throat digs in.

"I would rather die." I spit.

"Your wish is my command." He say's and I feel him trace the knife up to chin. I take the chance to hit him with my elbow in the gut and I somehow force the knife out of his hand. I try to run but I feel him grab my hair and whip me back. I land on my back and he climbed on top of me. His hands are at my throat cutting off my air supply. I try to grab his throat but he forces me down. I can't wrap my legs around him but he is too heavy and he is sitting on my gut. I run my hands along the sand and I feel the tip of my knife on my finger. His grip on my throat tightens and I begin to squirm. I grip the knife and lift it to his throat and slice it open. His blood splatters my face and he collapses on top of me drenching me in more blood. I gasp for air but I can't really because he is too heavy. I try to push him off but I can't in my weaken state. His blood is gushing around me and the cannon goes off. I try to lift him off but I can't he must weigh two hundred pounds and he is cutting off my air supply. Just as I give up I feel him being lifted off of me and he falls to the ground next to me.

"Katniss are you alright?" Parker say's as he stairs at me wide-eyed. I am all covered in blood I can only imagine how bad that must look.

"I'm ok." I say and he helps me up.

"I came looking for you when I woke up. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner." He say's as I gasp for air.

"I'm fine. Just a few scrapes maybe a few bruises but I'm ok."

"Katniss!" I hear someone yell behind me I turn and find Gale running towards me. Finnick was only few yards behind him. "Katniss are you alright." He say's when he reaches me.

"I'm fine. He just came out of no were. I left my knife." I admit but I don't look at him. Finnick stops a few yards behind him. However he doesn't say anything. I look up at his face then I wish I hadn't. Parker clears his throat behind me and I turn to face him.

"We should move." He say's.

"Does it matter? It's all out-of-order. We might as well pick a spot and hope for the best." I reply.

"Let's go talk to Beetee he has been mumbling a bunch of things all morning. Maybe he has figured out a pattern." Gale say's. He tries to make eye contact with me but I avoid it.

"Let's go." I say and take a step forward but the sharp pain in my gut brings me too my knees.

"Katniss are you alright."Parker says and he drops down next to me. I place my hand under my shirt and when I pull it away its bloody.

"He was sitting on my stomach he must have opened up my stitches." I groan.

"Let me see them." Finnick say's stepping up. This time his face is emotionless.

"I'm fine lets just go." I urge.

"dammit Katniss let me see!" He yells and I stop trying to get up. Parker helps me onto my back and Finnick pulls up my shirt to inspect my stomach. "They havent opened completely but they are bleeding. Someone should carry you. Dont strain yourself if you strain yourself anymore they will open. You shouldnt have gotten into a fight." He mutters and stands up. I yank down my shirt and sit up despite the pain.

"Well it was either that or I die." I say and I ignore Parker and Gale trying to help me and I force my body to stand up.

"Well you shouldnt have run off in the first place." He say's staring me down.

"Well maybe I was upset." I say not backing down.

"Maybe you shouldnt go around kissing everyone." He say's and I take a step back. It hurt more than my gut.

"Maybe I made a mistake kissing you in the first place." I force out. I try to sound tough but my voice cracks and stutters. I once again force myself around him despite the blood running down my stomach.

"Kat stop your going to make things worse." I hear him whisper as he sets his hand on my waist. I push his hand away.

"I'm fine." I lie.

"Kat I'm sorry I said that just please stop." He begs quietly.

"Stop calling me that." I mutter as I limp away.

"Your unbelievable." He say's and I stop and whip around. I wipe away the tears from my face. "You have no right to be mad at me!" I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

"Parker can you..."I ask but I don't need to finish. He picks me up and carries me away.

"You ok?" He say's looking down at me. I give him a small smile. When we reach our camp he puts me down on the sand next to Beetee before he sit's next to me.

"What should we do?" I ask him.

"We should move. I havent figured out what they are doing. Everything is messed up. They aren't even showing the casualties." He state's.

"Maybe there are some technical difficulties?" I ask.

"Perhaps but it's not likely." He say's and we all get off the ground.

"Can you walk?" Parker asks pacing his hand on my shoulder as if I would fall over.

"Im better it has stopped bleeding. Something for the pain would be helpful." I say and look up at the sky. Just then a little parachute strapped to a small package falls in front of me. I pick it up and open the small back pack. I open it and inside I find some sort of cream. It was the color of honey but was very gooey. There was also a case filled with pain killers. "Thanks Haymitch." I say looking up at the sky.

"Let's go to a tree so you can wash off the blood. I don't think you should get in the salt water." Parker says I close the package and strap it to my belt as we walk over. My stomach is sore and my stitches are burning but we make it to a good tree a few yards into the jungle. He get's the spile in the tree for me and he even places it a foot over my head so that I can wash under it without having to bend over.

"Do you mind if I have a minute alone." I ask as he gets a thick stream coming out.

"Sure I will meet you back at the beach."He say's awkwardly and leaves.I look around to make sure no one is around before I take off my clothes carefully and step under the hot water naked. I keep my knife close just in case but I enjoy the hot water. I wash off the blood from my face and from the rest of my body. I was covered in bruises and scratches and scars. My skin looked horrid. When my entire body is washed. I had been covered in sand and my skin was beginning to get irritated but it felt good to be clean and my skin looked better. I wash out my hair and run my fingers through it under the water. I wash out the bloody clothes I was wearing and set them out on a branch to dry. The water had begun to slow so I fill the baskets with water before it runs out. My body had dried so I turned to grab my underwear when I saw him. It was Finnick he looked shocked and embarrassed. He immediately turned around.

"I'm sorry I sware I just got here. I just came to see what was taking so long." He stutters. I grab my under clothes and quickly put them on.

"It's fine just go." I say embarrassed and he quickly leaves. I was flushed but I tried my best not to let t bother me. It was an accident. I apply the cream to my swollen stitches and the relief is instant and it felt so good that I nearly forgot how embarrassing that was. He saw me all covered in bruises and scratches and stitches. No wonder he ran away so quickly. I take a pill and put my still moist clothes and boots before I gather everything and carry the baskets of water out to the beach. I don't look at Finnick and neither does he. I hand them all the baskets and we all drink water and eat the fish they had caught. When we finish we all gather all our things and make our way down the beach.

"Maybe we should try the jungle." Gale suggests as we walk.

"We are better off on the beach most of the tortures are contained in the Jungle."I reply.

"Katniss can we talk. I can't keep going without talking to you." He say's.

"You guys can keep going we'll catch up." I say to them and they leave without hesitation.

"Katniss are you alright?" He ask's when they are far enough away.

"Yeah my stitches are almost completely closed and I can't even feel the pain anymore."I say lifting my shirt to show him even though I know that's what he meant.

"Katniss..." He sighs. I pull my shirt back down.

"I'm fine I just I feel guilty Gale. I'm not saying it wasn't nice because it was and it felt good but it wasn't right. I can't do this right now I need you to understand. I need you to wait." I say.

"I'm sorry this happened Katniss. I understand. I can wait for you." He say's. I give him a small smile.

"Thank you. We should catch up to them now. " I say and we begin walking.

"It was nice wasn't it?" He say's and I smile as a blush creeps up to my cheeks. "Best I ever had" The blush goes away.

"How many were there?" I ask clearing my thoat.

"A few. I unlike you knew people." He say's.

"Who?" I ask.

" Does it matter Katniss? They didn't compare to you. " He say's and nudges me, I smile but I don't let it go. He sighs after a while. "Are you jealous?"

"No I just... I thought I knew you, but I guess I didn't. "I stutter and he laughs.

"You do know me I just never thought I had to tell you that I was making out with girls after school." He say's.

"You don't." I say.

"What about you how many have you kissed." He ask's and I blush.

"You know everyone I have kissed." I admit.

"Three?" He asks astonished. I feel my blush deepen. He lets out a small laugh.

"Shut up." I say as we catch up to everyone else.

"I just thought there would be more." He say's.

"More what?" Parker ask's.

"Nothing." I mutter.

"She has only kissed three people." Gale tells him.

"Shut up Gale." I say trying to sound tough but my blush probably ruined it.

"Well I just always heard guys talk about you. I can't believe none of them made a move." He say's. I roll my eyes.

"That's not true." I say glaring at him.

"Katniss, Peeta wasn't the only one. Gale's not kidding." Parker say's and I blush.

"Can we just stop talking about this. I already know I'm intimidating and hostile and that makes me unapproachable. I know that if peeta didn't make me sound so that desirable that night at the interviews I probably would have never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. I know all that so can we just stop talking. " I say and they do.

"That's not true Katniss. I thought you were beautiful and desirable even before Peeta announced his love for you." Finnick say's. I clear my throat.

"I thought you were very desirable." Gale agree's.

"Shh." I whisper under my breath as I look out into the jungle.

"I'm serious." He insists.

"Shut up." I mutter under my breath. I pull back my string and aim up into the tree's. It begins to rustle and I know I was right. There was someone there. I aim and let go when it reaches the tree's seconds later there a thud as the person hit's the floor. Then there's a scream.I wait with my bow loaded but no one comes out of the tree's.

"Let's go." I say and begin to walk. We walk cautiously and quietly but no one appears. The cannon goes off but by then we are already long gone.

"I wonder who it was." Gale say's. When we take a break to drink water.

"We will never know." I say and I'm glad. Their faces wont haunt me at night.

"Katniss can I ask you something?" Parker ask's.

"Yea."

"How do you do it? You kill so easily." He say's cautiously.

"I don't think about it. When I'm done I remind myself that if I didn't kill them when I had the chance then they would have killed one of us if they got the chance. I regret t the second it['s over but by then there's nothing I can do." I say looking down.

"She's right it isn't easy. I still see the faces of all those that I killed years ago. You never get over it." Finnick says and he places his hand on my lower back. I smile at him and he wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean in.

"I must seem like a horrible person to you." I say.

"Kat you know that's not what he meant." Finnick say's rubbing my back.

"But it's true." I sniff. I don't even want to count the amount of people I have killed here.

"it isn't Katniss. You probably just saved one of us. Thank you." Parker says smiling at me. I sigh and smile back.  
"let's get going before I begin to cry again." I say and we a;; stand up. This time Finnick stays close to me and I hope that means he has forgiven me. When the sun begins to make its way down we stop.

"Let's hope this is a good spot." Parker says as he set's down the mat's.

"I'll go get us some water." Beetee say's. It's surprising because he usually just sit's fiddling with his wire. Gale and I go to catch fish while Finnick dives for oysters. Surprisingly though Gale and I cant find any fish. We end up going down with Finnick. It's disappointing since I don't prefer oysters but we don't have very many options.

"I got something." Finnick says when he pops out of the water. He holds up a squirming lobster.

"How do you eat it. I say stepping up to get a closer look.

"You cook it." He states. "Tonight we can try to start a fire."

It wasn't working. The branches were rubbery and everything here seemed to be covered in a layer of sweat.

"This isn't going to work let's just eat the oyster's" I say tossing the rubbery log aside.

"No this will be so much better. " Finnick say's.

"Finnick we are all hungry and it's getting late." Parker say's.

"None of you like the oysters and there is no fish. I can start the fire." he say's frustrated. We all continue to work on the fire but none of can even start a spark. Gale is the first to give up and he begins cracking open oysters. I am just about to give in and helping him when Parker yells out a yell of glee. We turn and he has a small fire started.

"How did you do it!" I say as we all gather around to feed it the dry leaves we had found.

"I had found a dead piece of tree it worked perfectly." He say's excitedly. Finnick sticks the lobster on one of my arrows and begin to roast it in the fire. When we eat the juicy meat it tastes amazing.

"Your amazing Finnick! I love you!" I say biting int the delicious meat. I don't even realize what I say until I feel all there eyes on me. I clear my throat and shift around uncomfortably. "I ment that I love you like a friend." I stutter nervously. "I meant I love that you kept up going. "I clear my throat to try and regain the function of my brain." I meant to say thank you." I say finally.

"Your welcome Katniss." He say's back awkwardly.

"I made the fire don't I deserve an I love you?" Parker say's and we all laugh. I lean over and kiss his cheek.

"Thank you." I say as I pull away laughing.

"That was so delicious." I say sucking on the shell of the claw I ate. "I will take first watch tonight."

"Goodnight." They all say and stand up to go lay down on the mat's. I grab my bow and sit on the sand. I am sitting watching for like an hour when I feel the sand shift behind me. I lift my bow and turn to find Finnick with his hands up.

"Sorry did I scare you?" He say's sitting down.

"It's ok. Cant sleep?"

"No. We need to talk Katniss." He say's and I sigh. I thought maybe we would just avoid this whole talk.

"Ok." I say looking down.

"Katniss I didn't like what you did." He mutters.

"I'm sorry. " I manage to say before he stops me.

"Let me finish. I know we aren't really together." He clears his throat. "What I mean is we aren't exactly official. I know I don't have a right to be upset when you kiss someone else... but it bother's me. I don't want you kissing anyone else if you aren't kissing me." He say's cautiously. "I can't even imagine it. It hurts too much. If you aren't with me then I don't want you with anyone else."

"Finnick..." I begin but he stops me again.

"I know I sound crazy and possessive, but I love you." He say's I wait a moment to see if he will say something else but he doesn't.

"I don't know what to say." I say slowly.

"What are you thinking?" He asks.

"You need to stop Finnick. You aren't in love with me. It's too soon I cant rush into anything just please stop. You and I can only be friends... At least for now. Your suffocating me and I need to breathe. I'm sorry." I let out. He needed to know the truth but I felt so bad once the words left my mouth. His face looked as though I killed his mother.

"Your right I'm sorry. I take it back." He says standing up.

"Finn wait." I say and standing up also. "I don't want to sound harsh. What slipped put today. It's true. I do love you I just don't know what that means right now." I say grabbing his face and forcing him to look me in the eyes. I kiss his forehead gently. "I do love you." I whisper and he pulls me into a hug. I'm glad he does because if he didn't I wouldn't have seen the knife coming towards us. I push him to the ground and just barely move out of the way. The knife slices my left thigh just above the knee but it doesn't stop me. I load my bow quickly and aim. She dodges it and she comes closer throwing another knife at me. I jump out of the way and load my bow again. She comes close enough so that I can see her. Its one of the girls from District four. I release my arrow but she is too close and she knocks me to the ground.

"YOU KILLED HER!" She yells in my face while she presses a knife to my throat.

"Wait a few minutes and I will kill you too." I say throwing her small body off me and rolling on top of her. I force the knife out of her hand and hold it to her through this time. "What do you want." I demand pressing it into her chin.

"Revenge. You killed my friend the one from district four. You shot her while we were in the tree's." She admits with her eyes wide with terror.

"Get out of here." I say lifting my body off of her.

"What?" She ask's confused.

"Get out! If you come back I swear I wont hesitate next time." I say and she jumps up and runs into the jungle.

"Why did you do that?" Finnick asks astonished. He was still on the ground.

"I have a heart too Finnick. I killed a lot of people here. I killed her friend today. She's all alone. She wont make it anyways." I say quietly. Everyone had woken up. "Go back to sleep everything fine. She wont come back. At least not tonight while she's unarmed. I say and toss the knife on the ground.

"You ok?" Gale ask's looking at my bleeding leg.

"Yeah it's just a scratch Finnick can fix me up right?" I ask and he nods. I sit on the ground and he pulls my leg into his lap. and inspects the cut.

"It's not deep you will be fine. Give me your shirt." He say's and I take it off. I wrap my arms around my chest and stomach. " I've seen more than that." He say's winking and I blush a deep red. He cuts off a strip from the bottom of the shirt before he hands it back to me. I quickly put it back on but I still cover my now uncovered stomach. He takes the strip and wraps my cut with it.

"Thanks." I mutter.

"Go to sleep Katniss." He say's.

"No I'm fine." I object.

"Come here." He says and pulls my head into his lap. He rebriads my hair and I begin to drift off. "Your so beautiful. " He say's and I feel his fingers trace the bruises on my neck. I shiver under his soft touch. My eyes begin to drift off and eventually I completely fall asleep.

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Sooooo what do you think? Review! Get me to a hundred review s and I will post the next chapter!


	20. Chapter 20 Red eyes

Yaaaay a 100 reviews how exciting!

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"Katniss." I hear someone say softly. I roll onto my side and snuggle back into my pillow ignoring the voice. A few seconds pass and I guess they went away.

"Katniss." I hear the same voice sing.  
"Go away." I mutter. I hear someone chuckle and my pillow shakes. I force my eyes to open and I find myself on the beach with my head on Finnicks chest.

"Good morning sleepy head." He say's smiling.

"What happened?" I ask rubbing my eyes. Last I remembered I had my head on his lap.

"Parker woke up early this morning and offered to watch so I carried you here. I didn't place you on me I sware. You did that all on your own." He say's smiling proudly. I groan and sit up.

"What time is it?" I ask as I force my eyes to get used to the bright light.

"About three." He say's sitting up also.

"Were did they go?" I ask looking around. Beetee was sitting in the sand a few yards away.

"They left a while ago to go hunting." Finnick say's. "I would have gone but I didn't want to wake you." He says tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

"Why am I so tired?" I groan and lay my head on his shoulder.

"You have had it pretty rough lately." He says massaging my back. I moan and lean into him. I sigh and bring myself to stand up. I take a pill and he rubs the cream on my stitches and my new cut. I begin to feel more tired however and I end up leaning into his chest and closing my eyes. His arms wrap around me and he rubs my back. I begin to fall asleep and he has to hold me tighter to keep from falling.

"Katniss are you alright?" He say's as I begin to collapse in his hands. As I slip I catch a glimpse at Beetee he also had collapsed on the ground. I feel him set me down and I barely even catch a glimpse of him collapsing on the ground beside me. Then I black out.

I awake to something scratching my back. However I am so tired I can't even manage to open my eyes. I struggle to open them and I soon become more aware of my surrounding. I feel someone holding my hands pulling me. I know something is wrong so I stop trying to open my eyes. MY hands and legs were tied up. Something was in my mouth to keep me from screaming. It was wrapped around my entire head. I bite into it lightly and a bitter tastes floods my mouth. I want to spit but the vine was too tight around me. I end up swallowing it. I try to keep my face emotionless but it's so revolting I'm sure I flinch. I wait a moment before doing anything else. The person continues dragging me so I begin. Slowly and softly I begin chewing on the vine. It wasn't very thick but the tastes was awful and the vine was very fibris. I naw at it slowly and eventually I break through it but I resist the urge to spit it out. I open my eyes slowly and cautiously. It was her. The girl from district four. The one I let live. I couldn't see her face because she was dragging me. She was breathling in gasps and dragging me slowly through the jungle.

" I wish I killed you when I had the chance." I say she turns around shocked to hear my voice.

"shut-up." She say's. I ignore her.

"FINNICK! GALE! PARKER!" I begin screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Shut up!" She says and putting a knife to my throat. It was one of mine. The sharpest one I have. "Or I will kill you!"

"Aren't you already planning to do that? If I were you I would do it now while you have the chance. Or you can wait till I come up with a plan to kill you." I spit out at her. She keeps her face fearful but it doesn't matter because her eyes say it all. She contemplated what I had told her and she began pressing the knife into my throat but she pulled away just as it was about to break skin. "You don't have the guts." I laugh and receive a sharp slap on the face.

"shut up." She spits at me and continues to drag me. I begin to whistle which she ignores even though it annoys her. She doesn't realize what I am doing until it's too late and my melody is playing out of every Mockingjays mouth. "I told you to shut up!" She screams and kicks me in the side. I cough and blood comes out. She hadn't opened my stitches but I know she came close.

"You have no idea what you are doing." I say laughing as I trying to remain unfazed by the pain.

She turns quickly and continues dragging me. The birds continue singing and the melody over laps. I try to figure out a way to take the vines off my feet but it is too tight to even wiggle around and her sharp pulls are only making it harder. She was panting hard but she didn't stop. She must have somewhere specific in mind because she is determined to reach it. I find that as she pulls me if I scrape the vines on the ground they loosen and eventually they fall off completely without her noticing. I am about to find a way to pull myself up when I realize it wouldn't matter because my hands are tied and I have no weapon. She may be stupid but she still has a knife and both of her hands. I wait and allow her to drag me. I get tired and my back is sore so before she tugs me again I grip her hands and pull myself up. I Put my hands up in protest when she holds out a small dart gun to my head.

"I just want to walk. You can't drag me any longer anyways." I say and she grips my hands tightly and pulls me roughly. We walk for a few more yards. Until se finally throws me up against a thick tree. I wait patiently while she ties a thick vine from the tree around me and the tree. However the vine is too thick and it makes it nearly impossible for her to tie. When she manages to tie it it comes loose ... Loose enough for me to wiggle in.

"You may want a thinner rope." I suggest's.

"I'm not stupid." She say's and does her best to tighten it. If anything she loosened it. She gives up and leave it how it is. She proceeds to tie another around my neck and the tree. This one she doesn't try to tighten it at all. When she is done she steps back a few yards and examines it.

"Now it's time for you to die the way Rose did." She mutter's and pulls my bow and one of my arrows from her back. She places the arrow on the bow and aims at me and pulls back the string.

"What are you aiming for? My head? If you are your going to miss." I say.

"Shut up. "She say's but she fixes her aim anyways.

"Your elbow is too low, and you are pulling the string back much more than necessary. It will mess up your aim." I say.

"SHUT UP!" She screams frustrated. Her hands were shaking and she let the arrow fly. She would have hit me in the throat but I moved just in time. She ends up cutting the vine and it falls around me. She tries again but this time her hands are shaking uncontrollably and she completely misses.

"UGHH!"She groans and tosses the bow aside. She rips the knife out of her belt and approaches me with it tightly gripped.

"No one ever succeeds when they fight with anger." I say and she yells and swings the knife to stab me in the head. It sticks in the tree next to me and she manages to slice the side on my head. The knife was deep and she couldn't pull it back out. I take the chance and knee her in the stomach. She groans and falls back. I rip the knife easily out of the tree and jump on top of her.

"I told you to kill me!" I yell and she struggles underneath me. I quickly slice her neck open and she stops it takes a moment for her to drown in her own blood but soon enough the cannon fires. I sigh and roll off her. The pain in my stomach was hardly bearable at this point. I check and find the my stitches had once again pulled open in the corners but it was small. The skin had begun to heal and I would be fine but the pain was unbearable. I force my self up and begin stumbling down the path she had made. I continue stumbling from tree to tree before the path becomes undetectable. I have the knife gripped tightly in my hand and continue stumbling until finally a break through to the beach. I look around but at first I see no one. It's not until I look around the cornucopia that I make out two bodies standing over two that were laying on the floor. I step closer. It was them. I beginning running down the strip of land to the cornucopia. When I reach it I lean against it. My stitches had opened more and I was feeling sick to my stomach. I threw up into the sand. Some was blood some was the food we had eaten last night. When I regain myself I begin running again. I was breathless and the pain was making me twitch with each step. I fall to the ground a few times and it's not until I reach the shore that they see me.

"Katniss!" Gale yells in relief and I crumble to my knee's. I give in to the pain and pass out before he can reach me.

I awake startled to the feeling of water running across my skin.

"Katniss are you alright?"Finnick asks as he sit's over me his hands were on my stomach a sharp pain rips through my abdomen and I groan. "I'm sorry I am redoing your stitches. Clearly you have good spondors they sent it even before you got here."

" I make an interesting show." I mutter in between groans.

"I'm almost done. Just relax and stop fidgeting." Gale pushes the hair off my face that had stuck to my forehead in sweat and blood. He continues stroking my head and I try to focus on his touch but I still wiggle around every once in a while.

"I'm done." Finnick say's and I let out a sigh of relief that ends up cuasing more pain than actual relief. "just relax ok?" I nod because I know I wont be able to do anything else.

"Katniss do you know what happened?" Parker ask's. Beetee was still passed out. I'm sure they somehow woke Finnick up to stitch me up.

"We passed out. It must have been something in the air or maybe the water. I don't know but when I woke up the girl from district four. She was dragging me. She took me to the other side somehow and then she tied me to a tree. I killed her but she got a good kick in my side when I was tied up." I say.

"I thought it was you. We heard the cannon I was so sure it was you." Gale say's gripping my hand tightly.

"I'm fine. It was easy." I say shrugging but t hurts. I groan and Finnick pulls my head in his lap. I try to relax but I feel my heart pounding and my blood throbbing. A cannon goes off. Then another comes shortly after. Then another. I sigh. "How many of us are left?" I ask. It's hard to keep track when you don't know who is alive.

"I think six?" Gale say's I try to count in my head but it's hard to focus on even anything that has happened in the past few hours.

"I think there's only five of us." Finnick say's. I sit up slowly despite the pain in my stomach.

"I will get you some water so that you can take a pill." Parker say's standing up.

"Thank you." I say and lean against Gale. "How much longer. Until it's just us?"

"Maybe a few more nights. I don't know what we will do... Split up and see who lasts longer." Finnick say's mindlessly. I grip his hand in mine.

"We are staying together no matter what."I assure him and he squeezes my hand and gives me a sad smile. Parker shows up and I drink the water he gives me and take the pill.

"Go to sleep Kat we will wake you if anything happens."Finnicks say's. I nod and he picks me up and carries me to the mat under the shade of a tree. He set's me down and kisses my forehead.

"Stay?" I ask."At least until I fall asleep." He lays down and lies on his side while I lay on my back.

"Sweet dreams my love." He says and strokes my hair. It doesn't take long until I fall into a deep sleep.

The first thing I realized was that my arm was numb. I groan and I am about to roll over but something on my arm stops me. I open my eyes. It's late. The sun is already setting and it sets a beautiful orange haze over the beach. Finnick was asleep and his head was resting on my arm.

"Fin."I whisper and stroke the closed scratch on his face. His eyes flutter open and he smiles.

"Sorry I must have fallen asleep."He say's releasing my arm. I sit up cautiously but no pain comes. I check my stitches and I'm shocked to find them almost completely gone. I run my finger over the scarring tissue.

"It's gone." Finnick say's shocked. "How do you feel?" I pull myself up and walk around my body is sore and my arm is asleep but I am fine.

"I feel great." I say letting out a small laugh.

"We got a gift."Parker say's handing us water. "They sent bread and medicine for you."

"I feel great." I say letting out a sigh of relief.

"Come and eat." He say's and pulls us to the sand by Gale and Beetee.

"I have a plan." Beetee say's as we eat. He begins to explain the wire and the arena. The thunder had become the only constent thing in arena. It striked at twelve without a doubt. He planned to use the lighting and the wire to electrocute them. It didn't make much sense to anyone but he had put a lot of thought into this I know I can trust him. He wants us to go into the jungle wrap the wire from the tree and lead the rest of the wire into the ocean. We wont be able to eat fish anymore but there are other resources in the jungle and as long as we have water. If this works we wont be much long after anyways. Maybe that is what they are waiting for. For there to only be us left. We all agree avoid asking questions because it seemed as though the more he told me the less we understood. We made a plan to eave early tomorrow morning and head into the jungle so that we can get there by afternoon and watch the first strike of thunder and then have plenty of time to lead the wire into the beach. Finnick and I take the first watch since we slept for the majority of the day. It was early when they went to bed maybe around eight or so. They were so tired and they wanted to get as much sleep as possible. So Finnick and I sat on the sand with him facing the jungle while I watch the waves. He traces patterns on my hand that is laying on the sand between us. We hear music play. The capital anthem and the capital symbol appears in the sky in front of me we both watch eagerly as faces show. They weren't showing the deaths they were showing those that were alive. The victors from district one was alive. Finnick whispers Cashmere and I assume that was her name. Then ofcourse is Beetee and Finnick. Woof from district eight was also alive. After that it's just Gale Parker and Myself.

"Seven." I whisper. "There is only seven left."

"And five of them are us. Do you think they teamed up?" He says turning back to face the Jungle.

"Probably. I would. Even with both of them they wouldn't be able to stop all five of us." I mutter."Hopefully Beetee's plan works. I just don't know what we will do when it;s just us." I lie.

"We let nature take us. We can fight it but I refuse to let you die. You deserve to go home to you mother and to your sister. You still have family waiting for you. I don't." He say's. I pause. I want to say it but what effect will it have? Does it matter. I love him and he loves me back. Gale loves me too, but in some way I don't feel for him the way I feel for Finnick. Maybe we have been friends for too long. Perhaps it's because we both know too much about each other. I don't want to be with im but I don't want to lose him either. I know I have no choice though.

"I would be waiting for you." I finally say. He looks up into my eyes and leans in a few inches as if asking for permission. I push my thoughts aside and I don't hesitate when I press my lips to his. It couldn't have been more perfect. So firm and tender. Full of love and passion. It was nothing like kissing Gale. When we pull apart for a second I don't hesitate to say what I know now for sure is true. "I love you." I whisper so lightly that for a second I'm sure he missed it. He looks into my eyes searching for confirmation. His lips spread into a big smile and he grabs my face and pulls me in for another kiss as he lets out a small relieved laugh.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you." He say's laughing. I smile because I truly do love him.

"Let's go for a swim." I say and pull him up. He picks me up and carries me into the water. I giggle like a small child and when he tosses me in the water I scream. Only he can bring out this person in me. When I submerge I pull his dry body to my wet one. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a long kiss. I had my knife in my hand ready for anything but at this point I don't even realize what is happening around us. His hands are gripping my bare waist and I lean into him more and wrap my arms around him tired. One of my hands plays with his short curly hairs on his neck while the other feels the muscles on his back and shoulders.

"I love you so much." He murmurs against my lips in between kisses. I laugh and we keep kissing and I enjoy every second and every feeling that courses through my body. Goosebumps form on my skin and butterflies flutter in my stomach while heat courses through my veins. We pull away for air and I am almost positive he can hear my heart pounding in my chest.

"Don't ever let me go." I say and his grip on my waist tightens. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him he begins moving but I don't stop kissing him. His lips begin to trail away from my lips. Down my jaw and to my neck and I sigh in pleasure from the tingles it sends across my skin. I could feel the warm water rising above me until we are neck deep. I pull his lips back up to mine and we keep kissing. Suddenly he takes me underwater but his lips never stop. When he pulls me back up we laugh and wipe the wet hair from each others faces.

"I love everything about you." He say's staring at my face. I blush and laugh.

"Shut up." I laugh and dunk his head under the water. He tickles me and I jump back and he pulls me back out of the water. i laugh and he tickles me. I squirm away and run back to the shore. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. I laugh and he carries me a few yards away from where everyone was sleeping so that we don't wake them. He drops me on the floor and I immediately try to crawl away but he gets on top of me to stop me. He begins tickling me and I have tears running down my face at this point.

"Tell me you love me." He says and tickles me harder. I squirm and laugh.

"No!" I say laughing. He only tickles me harder. I'm sure my face is red at this point. "I can't breathe!" I force out. I wasn't even laughing anymore because I couldn't breathe. Starnge gasping noises were coming out. He slows and I gasp but I still can't breath completely.

"Say it!" He say's.

"I love you!" I say finally and he stops and laughs. I gasp for air and let out a small laugh. When I catch my breath He presses his lips to mine. I sigh and pull him closer.

"Say it again." He says against my lips.

"I love you." I whisper and his kisses become more urgent. "I love you." I say again and his kisses become even more amazing. I repeat again and run my fingers through his silky hair.

"Don't stop." He mutter's.

"I love you so much." I say again in between kisses. His lips begin to travel down my lips and to my jaw before making their way to my neck. I sigh in pleasure and grip his hair to hold him there. "I love you." I whisper and moan when I feel him suck on a sweet spot under my ear.

I feel one of his hands slide under my shirt and rest just under my ribs. His fingers massage my skin and I shiver in pleasure. I moan his name and run my hands down his back. He stops and pulls up to look me in the eyes. His eyes were dark and passionate and I'm sure mine looked the same.

"Say my name again." He whisper's.

"I love you Finnick." I say never looking away from his eyes. The words barely leave my lips before he crashes his lips against mine. His kisses were hungry and rough and I enjoyed every second of it.

"I love the way you pur my name." He groans and suddenly he rolls over so I'm on top and I panic a little because I'm not quite sure what to do. I place one knee in the sand of either side of him and he pulls be back to his lips. I feel his hands slide around me and slip under my shirt. His gentle fingers run along up my spine and it makes me shiver in delight. I'm positive my skin is covered in goosebumps. He pulls me down to him and our chests press against each other. He moans and grips my waist tightly. I begin to kiss his neck lightly and he groans under me. I moan his name again and trace my lips down his chest. A knife sticks in the sand right next to my face and I immediately jump off him. It was Woof and Cecilia. My hand goes for the knife on my belt and I sigh when I realize I left it behind somewhere. We both jump off the ground and I grab the knife they threw. Cecilia throws another knife and it misses my shoulder by half an inch. I toss the knife to her head but she had begun running to me and it missed. Finnic had his trident and was in a fight with woof and his sword. He was old but he was putting up a fight they were prepared. Her body crashes into mine and she pins me down. I groan at all her weight on top of me. Neither os us had a weapon anymore so she immediately tries to place her hands on my neck. I shove off her body with all the force I have and jump up to make a run for my bow sitting in the sand just a few yards away. about a yard away from my bow she grips my hair and pulls me back to the ground.

"GALE!" I screech as she places a steel pipe to my throat cutting of my air supply. I cough and try to shove her off but I was already breathless to begin with and now my breathing was cut off. I'm sure my face was turning purple fast. I grip at her hair and try to pull her off but she only applies more pressure to my throat. I try poking her eyes out but she once again shrugs me off. I was losing my force and my fight was becoming weaker. A cannon goes off and then I feel her body being ripped off me. I cough and gasp for air and pull myself up. Finnick tossed her on the sand and she ran off immediately. He didn't have his trident so he had no choice but to let her go.

"Are you alright?" He says and helps me up.

"I'm fine." I say in my raw voice.

"Your throat is bruised." He says viewing it he lift's up my braid and smiles.

"What is it?" I ask self consciously putting my hand on my neck.

"You have a hickey." He says removing my hand and kissing my neck.

"Seriously!" I say pulling away and placing my hand on my neck. I quickly cover it with my hair. "Is it noticable?"

"No." He sighs. "You can't tell it looks like a bruise. But I know the truth." He say's pulling me in. His lips barely touch mine when I realize something. I quickly pull away.

"Gale!" I say and run over to there bodies on the ground I drop down beside him on my knees. There was a dart in his neck and I quickly pull it out. I press my ear to his chest and try to listen for a heart beat.

"Katniss no cannon went off there fine it must have been some sort of sleeping dart. " He say's and drops down next to me. His voice was quiet and slightly disappointed but right now that didn't matter. I place my hands on Gale's face and lower my ear in front of his mouth.

"You right he is breathing." I say and sigh with relief. We pull the darts out of them and sit back on the sand. This time we were prepared. "How long do you think it will last?" I ask.

"Maybe until morning maybe longer. Probably less for Gale since he is bigger." He say's bitterly.

"Are you ok?" I ask confused.

"You love him." He say's after a long pause his voice is so broken.

"Finnick he's my life. Of course I love him he's family no matter what happens. That wont change just because I told you I loved you." I say also growing upset.

"Me or him?" he say's.

"Don't do that." I say immediately. "Dont you dare give me an ultimatum! I wont do it Finnick. I love you but you're not the only one In my life! Gale has been there for me from the beginning. I love you but I love him too." I say firmly so that he understands.

"Your right I'm sorry I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry." He says immediately. I feel my face soften.

"I love you ok." I say but it sounds more like a question he smiles and nods and I give a single kiss.

"Ok." He says' and holds my hand. We watch the sun rise for a while before he goes for clams. I stay to guard but I drift off a few times so I begin opening the clams and oysters Finnick brings and we both eat and set aside the rest of the meat for the boys.

"What should we tell them?" I say as we drink water.

"Why would we tell them anything other than the truth?" He ask's confused. I clear my throat awkwardly before I continue.

""because of what we were doing. They would get upset..." I say cautiously.

"By they do you mean Gale?" He ask's looking into my eyes but I quickly look away.

"Yes. specifically because of him." I admit.

"Why don't you tell him the truth about... about us?" He ask's.

"because even I don't understand the truth about us." I admit.

"What do you mean? I love you and you love me. You're my girlfriend... is that ok?" I know his words should make my heart flutter but the truth is all I can picture right now is Peeta's face.

"i don't know if now is the best time to do that because of the situation we are in." I lie. He nods and looks away. "Can we just deal with all of this when it's all over. If something happens I don't want to lose you like that." I say and he nods in understatement. He is about to say something when we hear a moan We both get up and sit by gale who was now stirring.

"What happened?" He groans and places his hand on his forehead.

"We were attacked. They shot you with some sort of dart before we could stop them. it put you to sleep." I say quickly.

"Are you alright?" he asks taking in the bruises on my skin. I had bruised on my neck and collar-bone and even on my arms and stomach.

"I'm fine. Finnick killed Woof and Cecelia was choking me but Finnick pulled her off in time but she got away." I explain. He nods and I help him sit up. "Can you get him some water?" I ask Finnick and he nods and gets up. I pull his head to my lap and he closes his eyes.

"My head aches." He groans. I place my fingers on his temple and rub small soothing circles to help. I feel his body relax into mine and I continue rubbing. When Finnick appears he puases at the sight of us for a moment but then he hands me the water. Gale had begun to doze off and I arouse him away and make him drink the water. Soon after Parker awakes and Finnick helps him drink lots of water also. Beetee is still asleep so we all head to the beac h and they eat hungerly. We are all on the beach when a cannon fires. Finnick and I look at eachother and when a c;aw comes and picks Beetee's body off the sand I panic.

"It must have been to much for him and his age. His heart gave out." Finnick say's thoughtfully.

"Should we still carry on with the plan?" Parker ask's.

"No There's only one left and theres four of us still. All we would do was eliminate our main soource of food." I say. It's true but it's mostly becuase I dont think any of us wpuld know what to do without Beettee there to guide us. "We can take her down." I say but I hope we wont have to. We are sappposed to be saved. Why are we still here.

"What should we do until then?" Parker ask's.

"Stay here. There is no point in moving when we do not know when the clock will strike. if we stay here we will have less to worry about. As long as we check the water and stay out of the forest as much as possible we should be fine." I say Gale leans into my side and rests his head on my shoulder. They were both still tired. I place my hand on his back and massage it and his body becomes heavier against me as he releases the tension in his body.

"Your heavy." I joke and he smiles and put's more weight on me. I laugh and shrug him off my shoulder but then he just collapses on my lap. I lean back and dig my toes into the sand. I run my hands through his hair as I watch the sun begin to make its slow descent.

"Those bruises look pretty bad Katniss." Parker say's and he lifts my braid a little to inspect them. I rip my hands out of Gale's hair and quickly place my braid back on my neck. I clear my throat.

"I'm fine just a little sore." I say and run my hand a long my neck. It did hurt but I didn't have a mirror to check it. I yawn and lay back on the sand. Gale moves his head from my lap to my stomach. At first its uncomfortable because my stomach is bare but I relax and soak in the orange glow of the sun. His finger traces my stitches and I close my eyes. I was also beginning to feel tired. I have been up all night and day and I was beginning to be the exuastion.

"Sleep for a little while Kat. Parker and I can stay up first and you and Gale can go sleep." I hear Finnick say. I feel Gale's head lift off my stomach and I feel a pair of lips at my forehead. I sit up and smile at Finnick.

"Two hours ok? Then I will come and we can switch." I say and follow Gale to the mats. I lay down and Gale lays next too me. His head rest's on my arm and I allow it. i rest easily and fall asleep listening to his soft breathing.

I roll on my side and I feel a hand playing with my braid. My eyes flutter open and it's Gale still on my arm. His eyes were still tired and I can tell he just woke up as I did. I smile at him and he continues playing with my braid. It was dark out and he stars were out while the full moon shines brightly above me. His eyes begin to drift close again and Finally his breathing slows. I slide out from under him and walk over to the sand were Finnick and Parker were. Parker was drifting off and barely noticed when I approached him.

"Go to sleep." I say placing my hand on his shoulder he startles then nods and crawls over to a mat and collapses. "You didn't wake me." I say to Finnick and sit next to him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his side.

"You needed your sleep."He yawns and I sigh.

"Come on Fin you need to rest." I say and pull his head into my lap. He relaxes and I massage his head lightly. He begins drifting off and I continue to massage his head. I do my best to pay attention to my surroundings but somehow I can't keep my eyes away from his face. His features look so childlike and peaceful. I trace his nose and his lips with the tip of my finger. His eyes flutter open when I trace his eyebrows. He smiles up at me tiredly and purses his lips for a kiss. I lean down and give him a soft one but when I pull away he comes up with me and kisses me again.

"Lets continue what we started earlier." He purrs in my ear. I blush and he kisses that sweet spot on my neck that makes me shiver. I still push him away softly however.

"You need to rest Finnick." I object and he pouts. I kiss his pout and it turns to a smile.

"Only if I can sleep in your lap." He say's and lays his head down on my lap. I lean back with my bow ready in my hand and he falls asleep shortly after.

Nothing happens that night and I officially give up by the time the sun begins to rise. I just st and play with Finnicks hair for a long time and feel the water rise up to my feet and then slowly drift away. When Finnick stirs and finally wakes up I am relieved.

"Hey." He say's smiling up at me.

"Hello." I say and smile back.

"Did anything happen?" He asks and sits up.

"absolutely nothing." I sigh.

"Are you tired? I can keep watch now."

"I'm fine." I say and he nods. "You going to scar." I say and place my hand on his cheek were he got cut.

"Atleast we are equal." He say's and grabs my hand and kisses it.

"That's not fair you cut me. I should get to cut you." I say smiling and I pull my knife from the floor next to me. He gets on top of me and grabs my hands and places them above my head and holds them tightly in one of his. I laugh and release the knife.

"I love you." He say's suddenly turning serious and looking me right in the eyes. His sea green eyes were piercing into my grey ones and I couldn't look away.

"I " I manage to say before he presses our lips together. I melt under him and wrap my arms around his neck. His lips once again trail off and end up on my neck. He lightly kisses all the spots where I suspect to have bruises before he trails back under my braid and to were I know he left his mark on me. I sigh when I feel his lips suck on my sweet spot once again and my fingers intertwine in his hair and hold him tightly. When he leaves the spot I almost pull him back up but I let him travel. I was fascinated by the way he made me feel and it only made me want to know more of what he was capable of. I open my eyes and stare up at the glowing sky around us. The orange glow was making his bronze hair glow and it only made me grip it tighter. His lips travel down my collar bone and I feel his hand release mine but I don't dare move it. He trails kisses back up to my neck while his hands travel down to the hem of my shirt. He slowly begins to lift it off and I allow him. I arch my back and raise my body of the ground so that he can pull it off all the way. His lips trail down my bare skin and he places gentle kisses along the way. When he reaches the scar just below my belly button he stops. He places a kiss on it so gentle I am almost not sure if it even happened. He kisses my stomach back above my belly button and then ever so slowly he runs his tongue up my skin to my rip cage and I groan from the pleasures it sends coursing across my skin. His hands were on my skin and he slowly lifts me up while he kisses and lick and sucks on the delicate skin of my stomach. I arch my back and he slides his hands under and the clasp of the bra I was wearing. When I feel him grab it I open my eyes to look down at him. He stops and looks up to me with his dark eyes pleading for permission. I nod and lay my head back on the sand as I feel him unclasp it. I hear someone clear their throat next to us and it makes me jump. I open my eyes and find Parker watching us only two yards away. Finnick quickly climbs of me and my hands fly to my back to reclip my bra. I'm sure my face is a deep red as I search on the ground for my shirt but don't find it. I give up and stand.

"Good morning." I mutter and look at Finnick for help. He was still on the ground and was smirking at my mortified state. I clear my throat and say to him. "What did you do to my shirt?" He smiles at me and glances to the water. I glance at it until I finally spot it floating as the waves push it further back. I sigh and jog to the water and I don't hesitate when I plunge in. When I grip onto it and pull it on I notice my skin I had reddish-purple marks trailed along my skin. I had tree on my stomach and two on my collar bone and I am sure I had a few on my neck. I quickly pull my shirt on and it is high enough to cover the one on my collar bone but it doesn't cover the one just above my belly button. I turn around and swim back to the shore. They were laughing about something and I was sure it was me. When I reach them they stop and look at me. I wrap my arms around myself self consciously but that only draws the attention to the mark on my stomach. I tug on my shirt to cover it but I end up on covering the other two. I blush again and Finnick chuckles next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders which only makes my blush deepen and kisses my cheek.

"Come on." He say's and pulls me to the jungle. He takes the spile off my belt and a knife and begins to work it in.

"Dont do that again." I say as I try to stretch my shirt to make it cover them. He just chuckles.

"I will help you get rid of them come here." He says as he gets a thin stream of water coming out of the tree. I stand in front of him and he dips his fingers in the water and presses it onto the hickey on my stomach. He kneels in front of me and begins to blow on it. It was cold and sent shivers down my spine and he smiles at my reaction. He takes his thumb and begins to rub circles on my skin. He repeats it for all the marks on my skin and when he is done it is no longer red but a light pink color. I sigh because they will still be impossible to cover.

"You didn't do the one under my ear." I say and lift my braid. He stands up and pushes my braid aside.

"I like that one." He says and presses his lips to it.

"Fin..." I sigh and he wraps his arms around my waist from behind and pulls me closer. I melt back against him as i feel his tongue run over it. I get so distracted that I almost miss the parachute that falls in front of me. I push of his hands and pick it up. When I stand back up he once again wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my shoulder to see as I open it. It's a small container and when I open it I smile.

"What is it?" He asks.

"I think it's to cover them." I say and dip my finger in the butter like substance. It's a olive color similar to my skin and I quickly apply it. It sends minty tingles to my skin and I shiver,

"It's cold." I mutter and he helps me put it on my skin.

"The cold helps get rid of them." He sighs and rubs it in. By the time he finishes they are completely unnoticeable.

"There gone!" I smile but he seems disappointed. It nearly makes me laugh.

"It's not enough that all of panem saw you give me them but now even Gale has to know?" I say and wrap my arm;s around him.

"It's the fact that you are hiding them at all that bothers me. Your mine I want everyone to know it." He sighs.

"I am not your's." I object.

"Yes you are." He says and pushes my braid off my shoulder and places his lips to my neck. "Only I am allowed to do this to you." He say's in between kisses. I am about to reply some witty remark but I bite my tongue and let his lips dance along my skin.

"Stop this is what got us in trouble in the first place" I force out as he presses me up against a tree.

"I like trouble." He mutters and presses his lips to mine. I almost give in but somehow I find the strength to push him off.

"We are in enough trouble." I say and kiss his nose. I fill the baskets with water and we head back over to the beach were Gale and Parker are already eating fish they caught.

"What took you so long?" Gale asks taking the water from me and drinking thirstily.

"We couldn't get the spile in." I lie and begin to gut a fish. I avoid eyes with all of them but I can feel Parker's curios eyes burning into me.

"What should we do today?"I ask and eat a chunk of the raw fish.

"Enjoy the beach and try to stay alive. There isn't much we can do." Finnick say's. He's right all we can do is wait for something to go wrong.

"We can go hunting for District one." Gale suggests.

"If we do we might end up in a trap of hers or maybe even into one of the arena tricks." Parker say's.

"Our best chance is to wait for something to kill her. Or for her to attack. She is probably watching us. She is waiting for one of us to wander off alone so that she can make her kill because she knows she can't come at us when we are all together so as long as we stick together we shouldnt expect her anytime soon."I reply.

"Kat is right. Let's wait we can get prepared and try to enjoy life while we still have it." Finnick says and I feel his hand on my back. However I wiggle away from his touch.

"We need more water Catnip will you come with me?" I hear Gale say after a while.

"Ok." I say and clear my throat I stand and we gather the baskets and head into the jungle. We find a good tree and he begins to dig his knife in while I sharpen my knife.

"Can you hand me the spile?" Gale ask's.

"I forgot it. I'm sorry let me go get it real quick." I say and turn to run to the beach.

"No I will go with you." Gale says pulling his knife from the tree.

"Its three yards away. You can watch me from here if you would like." I say and make my way to the beach. I am just about to step on the sand when I hear a scream that stops me. I don't hesitate for a second before I break out into a run. I do my best to dodge trees and hop over the vines under me but I end up tripping and falling through the jungle.

"Katniss!" I hear Gale yell behind me but I don't slow down. I needed to get to Peeta and no one would stop me this time. I could hear thunder roaring around me but it didn't stop me. I could hear him yelling my name repeatedly and It only made me speed up. When I reached the spot from were I his voice sounded so clear I stopped. I looked around but his voice was gone. I could hear Gale yelling my name but it wasn't the voice I wanted to hear. He was gone again. When Gale reached me I had given up. I was sure he was gone.

"Katniss it wasn't him." He say's breathless. I knew he was right. I nod and avoid his eyes. The ground beneath us begins to tremble and I grip onto him tightly. When the ground begins to crack open beneath us we break into a run. We run straight to the beach. The cracking of the ground was just inches behind us and we were losing our energy fast. When I hear Prim's scream I almost stop and turn around to head towards the voice but Gale grips my hand tighter and pulls me forward. When we hear Posy's sweet little voice yelling Gale's name so desperately it's my turn to make sure he kept his grip on reality but it was harder because I almost believed it too. We run straight towards the beach and just as we are about to reach it the ground begins to crumble in front of us. We stop just in time but I almost tip over and fall right down. The ground around us falls and soon we are standing on a small circle pressed against each other to keep from falling. The thunder goes off again.

"What do we do?" I ask him as I try to figure out if we could jump. It was too far.

"do you think we can make it?" He asks referring to jumping.

"Maybe if we could get a running start but it's too small." A bolt of lightning strikes in front of us and illuminates the glass that was blocking us to get to the beach.

"Even if we manage to make the jump we can't get to the beach." I mutter. Then it starts to rain. The water was as cold as snow and the second it touched my skin I flinched from the cold and almost fell over if it wasn't for Gale's grip on me. Soon it was pouring and we were soaked in seconds. The deep cracks around us began to fill with water and soon they were flooding.

"Maybe we can swim?" I suggest when the cracks are filled.

"Do you think there is something in there?" Gale asks and bends down to look into it.

"Do you see anything?" I ask and grip onto him to make sure he doesn't fall over.

"Its turning muddy." He say's looking at it. He dips his sand in and pulls it out filled with mud.

"I'm going to try. I am a better swimmer than you. " I say and help him back up. The rain had slowed and it was barely sprinkling now. I get down to the ground and cautiously lower myself into the freezing water. The edge of the beach was ten feet away I was sure i could make it. The water was very thick and muddy and it weighed down on me but I swam through it anyways. I was half way there when it really started pulling me in. I felt something grip my ankle and I scream.

"Katniss!"I hear Gale behind me as he searches through the water to try to see whats wrong. The hand on my ankle pulls me down and it pulls itself up. I kick and squirm but it was difficult because I was almost swimming in mud. When rue's mud covered face appeared in front of me I screamed and struggled to swim again. She wasn't fighting me but she was trying to save herself and she was pulling me down in the process. Her eyes weren't hers however they were red and I knew it wasn't her.

"Katniss!" Hold on I'm coming." I hear Gale say.

"No! I'm fine stay right there you will only make it worse!" I yell and shove her off. she begins to sink and I begin swimming through the mud which only begins to thicken. I feel another hand grasp at me but it was bigger this time. Then another hand and another. Soon I had what felt like dozens of hands on me pulling me back. It had begun to rain again and it while it was making the water lighter it was also making it harder to see and breath. It was o=pouring and I had bodies gripping onto me but I didn't dare look back to see the faces of those trying to kill me. I imagine it was all the people I killed or let die. I imagine Peeta and my father all trying to kill me and I didn't want to confirm it. I know Gale was shooting at them with his arrows because their grip would loosen but another hand would soon take its place. When My fingers touch the edge of land I some how pull myself up. I feel something dig into my leg and I finally allow myself to look back. A hand was attached to my now bleeding leg. Gale had shot an arrow and it went right through my father's hand and into my skin. I scream and pull it out and shove him off. I pull myself up all the way but the bodies soon begin to join me. I grip the knife in my hand and begin shoving the bodies of those I love and those I killed. they weren't fighting much but they would throw themselves on top of me and cut off my air supply. After a long time of fighting them they stop multiplying and soon enough I toss the last body into the crack in front of me that had been drained of the water. It began to close slowly and I know the glass I had pressed myself against was rising. I drop down to the ground in exhaustion.

"Katniss are you alright?" Gale say's next to me. He grabs my hand and I flinch away at his touch.

"I'm ok." I assure him and sit up. I was covered in scratches and bruises even a few bites. What was really hurting was a deep bite on my shoulder.

"Let me see." He say's pushing my messy braid off my shoulder and lowering the edge of my shirt to inspect it. "It's not too deep. You should be fine as long as we clean it." He mutters. "Katniss what is that?" He say's wiping away some mud from my neck.

"It must be a bruise." I lie quickly. " from when district one tried to choke me."

"Ok." He says and help me up. "Lets wash you off." He pulls me slowly because my muscles were sore and I think I may have twisted my ankle. He leads me to the tree and get's it gushing with water. He helps me wash the mud and blood off my skin and takes extra care of my bites.

"Katniss what is that? Thats not a bruise." He says getting a closer look at my neck. "Your covered in them."He say's realizing the ones on my color bone and stomach. I can't help the blood that rushes to my face. Then he realizes my face and looks back at the mark then the blood drains from his face.

"Gale..." I begin to say but he cuts me off.

"You let him do this to you?" He say's angrily. I pull my shirt back on quickly.

"Does it matter Gale? How is it any different then when you kissed me?" I say defensively.

"Do you know what that means Katniss? Your letting him mark you as his?" He says disapointedly.

"I'm not his and that's not what it means."I object.

"Maybe not to you. Katniss don't let him fool you. There's something wrong with him. He's hiding something." He say's gripping my shoulders to force me to look at him.

"Dont talk about him like that." I say growing angry.

"Katniss don't give up on me. Give me a chance to prove to you why I am better than him for you. I know everything about you. You know everything about me. You and I correspond like no body else. We are the same person. We were made for each other." He say's looking at me directly in the eyes. His grey eyes were so dark and passionate that I couldn't look away. It was as though smoke was filing his irises and it was absolutely fascinating. I wonder if mine were smoldering the way his were.

"Gale please I'm sorry. I don't want this. I don't want a boyfriend that I know I will lose. I'm sorry Gale. Can we please just not do this." I say and pull myself out of his grip. I turn around to leave but his hand grips my hand and twirls me around so that I am pressed up against him. "Gale..." I begin to object but then his lips press against mine. I want to push him away but I can't force myself to do it. because the way he did it was unlike every other kiss I have had. It was powerful. He had taken control and I was trapped in his arms. I surrendered myself to him and he took control. I knew it was wrong and I knew I shouldn't enjoy it as much as I was but I can't stop my arms as they glide up his firm chest and wrap around his neck. I sigh his name against his lips and it only forces his grip on my hips to tighten. I moan against his lips and press myself into him even more. Then faces begin to flash through my mind. The first is Peeta which slows me down and makes me hesitate. He is most certainly watching. Then I picture prim and that's what wills me to push him off. I can't let my sister see anymore of this.

"I can't do this Gale. Not with everyone watching." I say and look into his eyes. He looks into me for a moment and then he nods his understanding. We make our way to the beach in silence he helps me gently. I can feel my lips swollen from his brutal kisses and I hope it's not as noticable as it feels. Finnick and Parker are both laying on the ground.. They hardly even notice us. They were covered in blood with their eyes closed. A cannon fires and I drop down to my knees next to them immediately. I grab Finnicks face and I sigh when He opens his eyes and smiles at me. Parker also looks up at me and I smile until I know what it means. We are the only ones left.

"Fin are you alright?" I ask him while I try to find were the blood originated from.

"I'm fine just tired. There was some sort of animal. Some kind of bear or wolf it came out of no were. We killed it but it kept coming back to life. We won though." He say's smiling. i cant help but to smile back. "Are you ok?" He asks taking in my appearance.

"I'm fine. There was a... Its hard to explain." I say unsure of how to explain what had happened when I am not even sure if I understand it yet. I drop down to the sand next to him and close my eyes. I feel him grip my hand in his and I squeeze his back before my head starts aching. I give into the pain and let it drift me off to sleep.

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OKaaay how was it? Review and let me know! I still have writers block so if you got any suggestions let me know!

FYI this is not a Finniss attleast not for sure. Maybe it is for now but I dont know if that will change. Especially if someone dies.

REVIEW!

-love marely


	21. Chapter 21 final days

Sorry this is long over due and the spelling is probably worse than usual but better late than never.

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I feel the grip on my hand loosen and I wake up. I search desperately for the hand that was keeping me from floating away. My hands glide through the sand for the warm fingers that I had been gripping so tightly.

"Fin?" I say finally opening my eyes. he was sitting next to me watching me curiously. He was massaging his hand.

"Having a bad dream?" He asked and placed his hand in my sore one. I guess I had been gripping it to tightly, but it doesn't stop me from holding it again and laying my head on his lap. I hold his hand in both of mine and hold it to my chest.

"Kinda." I mutter and close my eyes again. I feel his hand brushing back my hair.

"Don't worry I'm here." He whispers to me and I grip his hand tighter.

"However it would be a lot easier to protect you if you didn't squeeze my hand off." He say's and I let out a small laugh and loosen my grip on his hand. I sit up and look at him with my tired eyes. "You look like you got run over by a train." He say's brushing my tangled hair behind my ear. I let out another small laugh because I know he is right. I have sand stuck to my cheek and tangled into my hair which was still full of mud that had dried. I know my eyes must be red and I was covered in scratches and bruises and love marks. I can only imagine how I looked. While he was messy and covered in dried blood with his hair tangled with sand and blood and his clothes torn and ragged somehow he still looked dazzling.

"Come on O'dair lets wash all this dirt of us." I say and pull him up and to the ocean. "Where did Parker and Gale go?" I ask looking around.

"They went to get water." He says as I wash out his hair. My skin was burning from the salt in the water but I did my best to ignore it. He helps me wash out my hair and I help him make sure he gets off all the blood.

"You look beautiful again. You were really starting to freak me out." He say's playfully.

"Shut up you looked just as scary all covered in blood. You look like you went on a killing soree."I say and he laughs He tosses me over his shoulder and carries me to the beach with me kicking and laughing. This time I wasn't worried about anyone who would hear me because there was no one else left. When he set's me down he is about to place his hands on my side to tickle me but I slip out of his grip and make a run for it. I am tripping along the shore with the water splashing around me. He catches up to me and picks me up and spins me around and I laugh. He lightly places me on the ground and begins tickling me again. I scream and laugh and beg him to stop.

"Please!" I yell laughing with tears running down my cheeks. He stops suddenly and I gasp for air. He places his lips at my stomach and blows raspberries on my skin. I laugh and wiggle under him but he doesn't stop. Somehow I manage to squirm out from underneath him and I quickly flip over and try to crawl away but he catches my leg and pulls me back to him gently. I laugh and he begins tickling me again.

"Why are you trying to get away! Your my toy! I will play with you however I want!" He jokes and tickles me. I squeal and somehow manage to flip us over. I pin him down and begin to tickle him. He tries to lift me off him but I only dig into him with my fingers harder.

"Now I get to play with you!" I laugh and mess with his hair. He laughs but when tears start running down his face I stop and collapse on his chest. I press my ear to his chest and listen to his rapidly beating heart. We are both still laughing and I feel his hands playing with the tips of my hairs. Neither of us can stop laughing and I roll off his vibrating body. Gale and Parker were standing over us. Parker was smiling but Gale's face was unreadable. I still can't stop laughing however and I pull my once again sand covered body off the ground and pull a still laughing Finnick up with me.

"Did you bring water?" I giggle.

"The trees are dried." Parker says and we all grow serious.

"Do you think they will try to kill us of dehydration?" I ask confused. I try to think of the last one of us that drank water.

"A storm is coming in." Finnick say's as he stares up at the sky.

"How can you tell?" I ask looking up at the blue sky.

"The breeze is stringer than usual and its the middle of the day but it look as though its already five or six, The waves are also stronger today. Couldn't you tell?" He asks me. To be honest all I could think about was him when I was in there. I lie anyways.

"Yeah your right." I say and take a step away. We weren't doing anything wrong but Gale's gaze hasn't left me for one second. Finnick steps behind and begins brushing my hair with his fingers and he starts braiding it. I look down at the ground until he places it over my shoulder.

"I don't like seeing you without it." He say's and I give him a small smile.

"Thanks." I say but he only made things worse.

"We should look for a good place to stay in before the storm comes in." Gale say's finally letting his eyes drift away from me.

"What do you think would be the best place?" I ask turning to Finnick.

"Not on the beach with the sand blowing and the tide is coming in higher. Maybe some sort of cave if we can find one and if not the jungle at least. " He say's.

"We need to gather food also. Not fish because it will go bad. I wish there was something other than meat here. Maybe there are some roots." I say wandering off and trying to remember what I learned in training.

"We better get working than." Parker say's. We gather our few belongings while Finnick goes hunting for our last set of oysters. When he finishes and he had a whole bunch of clams and oysters for tonight we headed off into the jungle. We walked through the jungle with Gale in front and I right behind him. Together we caught a dozen rats. After an hour of not seeing anything but trees I decided to climb a tree. I found a cave of some sort only a hundred yards away and when we reached it it was very dark inside. so dark we couldn't see anything inside. Gale and Finnick went in to make sure there weren't any wilds animals. Parker and I began starting a fire for them to see and this time we got it started in a matter of minutes. They both went in and we waited.

The cave was actually not very large. From the outside and you had to bend over to get in. You couldn't really see into it but from what we saw it seemed so small that we might have to all be squished together. The cave was actually built in to a large boulder that was pressed into the force field. They had been inside for what seemed like hours and I wanted to call in to make sure they are ok but I am scared I will only make things worse. When they finally appear I let out the breath I had been holding in.

"Its filled with tunnels we couldn't figure out what it led to but if there is anything in there it's probably very small because they only get smaller the further you go in." Gale say's and wipes the sweat from his forehead.

"It's really hot and stuffy inside." Finnick say's. They were both covered in sweat. Perhaps it's because of the fire but we can't put it out in there or we won't be able to see..

They lead us inside the cave and they are right it's very stuffy and hot. The ground was covered in mud and small pieces of stone. we set up the mat's on the ground and Gale leaves to fill our baskets with water. We are cracking the clams open and eating them as we go because they are going bad. It's so hot in the cave and sweat beads down all our faces. We had placed the fire as close the entrance as possible but a light rain had begun and it was hard to keep it from getting wet.

"It's so hot. What is taking Gale so long." I whine and lean against Finnicks side. He continues cracking oysters while I rest my head on his shoulder and trace patterns on his arm.

"Hey look what I found!" He say's laughing. He shows me the clam he opened and inside it held a large pearl that glimmers brightly under the flickering fire.

"It's very big." I say staring at it. He pulls it out and wipes it off.

"For you my love." He says and places it in my palm. I smile a little at him and roll it around.

"Thanks I say and he wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean in and continue playing with it.

"Its beautiful." I mutter and watch the glittery surface shine.

"Not as beautiful as you." He mutters and kisses my head. I laugh and give him a playful push. I hear someone clear their throat and I quickly scoot away. It was Parker letting me know Gale was coming.

"Katniss I found you something." Gale say's excitedly as he steps in.

"What is it?" I ask confused. He hands me something and I have to lean in to the fire to see it. It takes me a second to realize what it is.

"Oh Gale you got me Katniss!" I say laughing a little.

"Katniss?" Finnick ask's confused and tries to get a closer look. I laugh and hand him the pearl so that I can cut off the skin.

"It's the root I was named after. It's the poor mans potatoes." I say delightfully. Memories of my father flood my mind. "Thank you so much Gale." I say laughing. I stick an arrow through it and roast it over the fire.

"You were named after a root?" Finnick ask's confused and Gale and I turn to stare at him.

"You were named after a fish." I say.

"No I wasn't." He say's confused.

"FIN" Gale say's.

"As long as I can find myself I will never go hungry." I say ignoring them as I cut off a piece of the Katniss and eat it.

"How is it?" Gale asks sitting beside me.

"It tastes great. Thank you Gale." I say and smile brightly at him. I cut off a piece of it and offer it to him. He leans down and bites it out of my hand. The gesture was strange but humorous and I laugh. I cut off another piece and place it in Finnicks hand. Gale scoots closer to me and our sides are touching and opens his mouth for another piece. I feed him another but I am watching as Finnick takes a bite of the Katniss but he doesn't take his eyes off Gale. I think Gale can sense it because feel him hold my hand tighten.

"It tastes almost as good as you." Finnick say's when he finishes the piece and I blush a deep red. My eyes widen from the shock of him saying that I don't even have time to be angry before Gale grabs my chin and pulls me in for a kiss. I pull away quickly but the damage is done.

"Your right." He say's to Finnick. His are mischievous but threatening.

"Enough!" I yell and it echos throughout the cave. "You two are acting like children."

"Well it's hard not to act like children when you are playing with us." Finnick say's. Fire burns through my veins and I turn to him and slap him across the face with as much strength as I have.

"Kat.." He say's behind me but I am already out of the cave. I am steaming and even the rain pouring down on me can't put out my steam. I hear arguing behind me but I ignore it. I choose a good tree and begin to climb up it. When I am about ten yards up I sit on a thick branch and watch the world around me. I had tears running down my face but it was hard to tell with all the rain. I can hear them calling my name beneath me but I ignore it. The rain was cold on my skin and I began cooling off. I know he didn't mean it. They were both angry and they had every right to be because he was right. I was playing with them. When it begins to get to cold and I feel all my anger turn to sorrow. I climb down the tree and make my way to the cave. Finnick was leaning against it waiting for me. His cheek was red and under his eye it was beginning to turn purple.

"Katniss I'm sorry." He say's looking up at me. He couldn't look anymore guilty. I can't stop myself I run to him and pull him in for a hug. It takes him a second but he finally squeezes me tightly. "I'm so sorry." He mutters into my hair.

"It's ok. I understand you were upset I know you didn't mean it like that. " I say and pull away a little but his grip on my waist keeps me close. I look at his face and I feel even worse. "I'm sorry I ruined your pretty face." I say and place light little kisses all over his face and neck. He lets out a small laugh and holds me tightly to him. I pull away and we climb back into the cave.

"Catnip..." Gale begins to say when I sit next to him. I hold his hand and kiss the back of it. He lets out a sigh and gives me a small smile. He hands me a roasted Katniss which I gladly take and we all eat.

"I will go get more water." Finnick say's and steps out into the rain.

"Who knew Katniss could taste so delicious.' Parker jokes as he takes a large bite. I laugh and blush.

"Just dont get them mixed up. We don't want you to take a bite out of Catnip."Gale jokes.

We fool around for a while and they joke at my expense before I realize something.

"Where is Finnick?" I ask and step out of the cave. I look around and yell his name. I find the baskets with water on the ground and that's when I really freak out.

"FINNiCK!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I am about to break out into a run when someones grips my waist and pulls me back. "LET ME GO I NEED TO FIND HIM!"I yell as I frantically try to release myself from his tight grip.

"Katniss please take a deep breath you will never find him like this. You need to relax and we need to be rational and think this through." He whispers soothingly in my ear. I nod and try to take a deep breath but it comes out shaky and my body was trembling. "Katniss he is going to be fine he is still alive. No cannon has gone off." He say's and I continue taking deep breaths as I listen to his soothing words and finally the shaking dies down and I relax. He releases his grip on me and leads me back to the baskets. I hadn't noticed before but there were footsteps leading to the left side of the jungle. I take another deep breath and he hands me my bow and we mae our way following the tracks. It wasn't hard to follow even under the rain. He had clearly been in distress and panic. I listen closely for a cannon and I am relieved when none is fired. When we reach the end of the trails I begin to panic again but Gale places his hands on my shoulders. I take a deep breath and stop my now once again trembling hands.

"Do you see anything else?" He say's and we all look around until i spot it. Even in the pouring it shined brightly against the viney ground. I drop to my knees and pick it up very delicately as though it were made out of glass.

"A pearl?" Gale asks confused.

"He had given it to her right before you came in earlier." I hear Parker mutter to him. I pull myself off the ground and continue in that direction. I found his knife stuck to a tree and soon we ended up on the beach. While the pouring rain washed away most of the remains on the beach his steps were clearly fresh and I began runnng quickly. When I spot him I stop. It was now dark out and he was on his knees looking towards the jungle.

"Fin." I call out to him. He turns around at me and I flinch from his appearance. His eyes were red and swollen his cheekbone was slightly bruised from my slap but he had cuts everywhere on his body.

"Katniss." He whispers and steps off the ground. i take a step back from him because something in his eyes didn't seem right. "You killed her!" He screams before he lunges at me and knocks me to the ground. all the other times he had been on top of me he had never put all his weight on me but this time he had and it knocked the wind out of me. I grunt and he is about to place his hands around my neck when I shove him off and crawl away. He pulls me back roughly but then Gale lunges at him and pulls him off. They roll on the ground each one trying to get the upper hand. Gale punches him straight in the jaw and he blacks out. I cough and sit up slowly. There's a sharp pain in my side but I ignore it and crawl over to him.

"Your crushing him." I say worried and push Gale off lightly. I flinch from the pain in my side but I quickly lean to check his heart beat. It was still going strong. I checked his breathing end everything seemed fine. I give up and finally I sit back and lift my shirt. My side was already showing the sighs of bruising and I groan. The pain wasn't sharp enough for me to have broken anything so for that I am glad.

"Are you alright?" Gale asks crawling over to me.

"I'm fine." I say and quickly pull my shirt back down. "Lets get back to the cave. Will you help me carry him?" I ask them Gale sighs and agrees. When I try to stand up I end up falling back down in pain. I groan and roll onto my back.

"Katniss let me see." Gale says and lifts my shirt. "Lets get you to the cave." He mutters and picks me up.

"No get Finnick I can walk." I object. He ignores me and I am about to freak when Parker picks him off the floor. When we get to the cave they set me and him down on the floor. Parker get's working on the fire while Gale steps out. I take off my shirt and soak it in water and use it to wipe the blood off Finnick. His lip was now swollen and I take extra care of him. Gale comes back with a thick vine and sit's next to me and grabs Finnicks hands.

"What are you doing." I demand as he fastens it around his wrists tightly.

"Katniss he tried to kill you." He say's and I nod. I sigh and slowly he begins to awaken.

"Finnick." I whisper and he looks up at me with horror.

"You killed her." He say's and tears run down his face.

"Finnick I don't understand what happened?" I ask desperately and hold his tied up hands in mine. At my touch he relaxes a bit. Then his relaxation soon turns back to confusion.

"I don't know." He say's and his brow furrows.

"It's ok." I say with tears running down my face. I understand now.

"No it isn't Katniss! This is the second time he has almost killed you! There is something wrong with him!" He yells furious. I flinch as his voice echos against the stone walls around us.

"You don't know him like I do. You don't understand the way I do. Don't act like you know him!" I yell furiously.

"Katniss he is right..." I hear Finnick say underneath me. His grip on my hands loosen but it only makes me grip them tighter.

"No he isn't Finnick. I know there's something wrong with you but that's ok there's something wrong with me too. I don't care I don't want you out of my life. I don't care how many times you try to kill me. I will still come right back to you. " I say gripping onto him tightly. "Your not getting rid of me that easily. I..." I hesitate for a moment because Gale is there but all of this has only made things more clear to me. "I love you." I say firmly. I grip his hands tightly in mine and look down at them. His grip tightens on me and I lean back against the cave wall.  
"Katniss." Gale objects but I stop him.

"I love him and I don't care what happens. I will not leave him. I don't care if he kills me in the process. " I say looking him dead in the eyes.

"Fine he can stay, but if anything else happens I will kill him." He say's and turns out to leave the cave. I force myself to follow him.

"Gale." I say when I step out into the rain and he turns. "I'm sorry."

"DOnt be. I know you and I are meant to be." He reply's.

"Gale your my best friend. That will never change." I object.

"No Katniss."He says stepping closer and placing his hand on my waist to stop me from moving away. "I know that's how it seems most of the time. I know I don't make you laugh the way he does and I am not playful and romantic like he is... but you and I have something different. Say what you want but I know you feel it too." He say's and lightly presses his lips to mine. He's right. When he kisses me and holds me like this I do feel passion burning through me.

"Your right Gale." I admit. "But the way I feel when you kiss me. I feel every second that I am with him."

"I can make you feel like that Katniss. Dont give up on me. I can make you feel ten times better than he does." He say's and leans in for another kiss but I turn my head.

"Gale please don't ruin our friendship. Not now when its something I need so desperately." I say and place my hands on his chest. He nods.

"I can wait for you. I know we are meant to be." He say's. He takes one of my hands and kisses my palm before he presses it to his cheek. "I know you will come along. I dont care how long it takes."

With that said we both head back to the cave soaking wet. Finnick is watching me closely. He was leaning against the wall and I sit next to him. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean in and invite the warmth of the fire and of him. His hand plays with my braid and I close my eyes and rest my head on his chest.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. I squeeze him tighter and at some point I fall asleep wrapped in his embrace.

"Kat." I hear Finnick whisper into my ear. I moan and wiggle myself closer. He chuckles and his arms tighten around me. "It's morning already." He says and that catches my attention.

"Are you tired?' I ask as I see that everyone else is still asleep.

"No I just wanted to see your smile." He say's and of course it brings out another smile from me. He gives me a gentle kiss. I pull him closer for more but he gently pushes me back and nods to the sleeping bodies only inches away. "I don't want to start something we can't finish." He say's and I lay my head back onto his chest. I run my hand along his muscles and trace his healing scrapes. "it's flooding outside." He say's and I don't turn to check. I keep running my hands along his chest. I refuse to rejoin reality.

"I love you." I mutter and kiss his chest.

"I love you." He says back and we continue caressing each other until Gale awakes and I sit up slowly because my side still hurts. If anything it hurts worse.

"Let me see." Gale say's when he see's me flinch. I slowly lift up my shirt but I quickly pull it back down because the sight is hideous.

"It's fine." I say and shrug but even that slight movement sends a rush of pain.

"Katniss you need to let me see." Gale insist's and crawls over to me. I sigh and lift up my shirt showing him the left side. It was bruised from top to bottom but the bruising was originating from the top left side. He Gasps and leans in to get a closer look.

"I know what it is." I say pulling my shirt back down and avoiding Finnick.

"What is it?" Finnick ask's his voice trembled.

"A bruise." I lie.  
"Katniss tell me the truth. I know its more than a bruise."Gale says lifting my shirt up.

"My spleen is ruptured." I admit because suddenly I am feeling scared for my own life. I know I could die from internal bleeding but my pain doesn't seem as bad as it should be and I know that whenever my mother had a patient with a ruptured spleen all she could do was wait and see if the bleeding would stop on its own. In the capital I am sure that they take it out but I don't have that choice at this point. "I just need to rest." I say.

"Katniss we need to do something." Parker say's. I didn't even notice when he woke up.

"Theres nothing we can do. She is bleeding internally. We have to wait and hope for the best. It could stop on its own." Gale says his voice quiet as he realizes what I know. I could be dead in a matter of hours and there's nothing we can do. I lay back down slowly. My left shoulder was absolutely useless to me. The slightest movement sent pain through my side. gale steps out of the cave without another word. Parker mutters something about getting water and soon follows after him. Finnick scoots closer to me and places a cool cloth on my forehead.

"Katniss I'm so.. " He get's out before I stop him.

"Dont. I'm fine. I will be up and running by noon. I'm a tough girl. I can tie my own boot with all the laces and everything." I joke and he gives me a small smile. I lay my head in his lap. "It doesn't change anything. I still love you."

"Katniss..."

"Stop it Finnick. There are only good things that can come of this." I say and hold his hand.

"Like?" He ask's.

"Maybe the capital will decide I suffered enough and they will end the games and we can all go home. Or if I die... You wont have to worry about me anymore. If you win... You will get to be with her again." I finally say even though the thought of him with anyone else makes me sick to my stomach. However the thought of him not being happy only makes me feel worse.

"Katniss I love you." He say's looking down at me.

"I know... but you love her more. " I reply sadly.

"No." He say's gripping my hand. "I don't."

"It was her. You thought I killed her and that's why you tried to kill me. Finnick I don't care that you love her. If I can't be with you. Than I don't want that to hold you back."

"I don't want to lose you." He say's and his eyes water.

"You wont I promise." I say and kiss his hand. I hold it to my chest and he strokes my fingers.

"I love you so much." I say and press my cheek into his palm. But I am so tired that I begin to drift off.

When I awake I am alone. I relax when I hear rustling outside.

"Fin?" I call out.

"He went hunting with Gale."Parker say's and pokes his head in. He places a basket of Katniss on the ground. "You ok?" He ask's and hands me a small basket of water.

"I'm fine." I say and take small sips of the water.

"I will be right outside call me if you need anything." He say's before he steps out. I sigh and slowly pull myself up and sit against the wall. It wasn't very comfortable but I was tired of laying down on the hard surface. I sit watching the world outside. A mockingjay perches itself on a branch next to the cave and I whistle to it. It listens curiously and then approaches the cave entrance and whistles back. We exchange tunes for a few minutes. I enjoy its company in a way I felt reassuring. Like as if it were telling me that I was I would live.

The feeling disappeared just as quickly as it came. When she quickly fluttered away in mid tune I knew something was wrong. The flickering fire in front of me was small because the rain was pouring outside and it was putting it out little by little. However I didn't need to see it to know it was there. I could hear it's breathing. I didn't even want to turn to look for it. I was sure it hadn't seen me yet. I placed my hand on my belt but my knife was gone. They must have taken it out so that it didn't bother me at night. I could hear it's claws scratching the cave floor as it walked. I held in my breath and prayed it couldn't hear my rapidly beating heart. My hands felt the ground for my knife. When My fingers grazed across the blade I quickly gripped it tightly. It was right in front of me now. I nearly laughed. It was small. Probably no bigger than Prim's cat. It had large viscous teeth and long claws but even with that it looked innocent. It had black fur and large red eyes. If it were any bigger I would be terrified but at this point it was all I could do to not burst out laughing at myself for being so terrified. It continued walking. It hadn't even noticed my presence. When it stepped out of the cave I decided to kill it now while I had the chance. Maybe it had good meat. I lifted up my right arm that was gripping my knife tightly. I flinched as I threw it and I let out a groan. It stuck into the animals back because it was sitting in its hind legs. It flinched at the knife. Then it became more terrifying.

It started to grow. Inch by inch it grew larger my knife was still stuck in it but the wound that had once covered his entire back was now just a tiny scratch compared to its massive body. I couldn't see above his shoulders until it bent back on all fours. It turned to stare at me and now I was shaking. His red eyes and large teeth were absolutely terrifying. It looked me right in the eyes. I refused to move an inch at this point scarred that it would make a move. then like a human he reached his paw back and slid the knife out of his massive back. He set t on the ground. What it did next absolutely shocked me. He pushed it and it slid across the cave floor and stopped just a few feet from me. Then it turned and walked away.

I let out the breath I had been holding in. I wanted to scream but I was scarred it would come back. Then I remembered I wasn't here alone. I somehow pulled myself off the ground. I leaned against the wall for a second to catch my breath than I made my way out of the cave as fast as I could.

"Parker!" I scream as I step out into the heavy rain. I could hardly see a thing over the buckets of water. The weight of the water was pushing down on my week body but I forced myself to stumble through the woods leaning from tree to tree. I scream out all there names but I never got an anser. There were no cannons no wild animal roars. No screaming or thunder. Just the sounds of the rain falling around me. I screamed and fell from tree to tree. I was waiting for any sound at this point. When I head the mockingjay give a warning cry I feared maybe they stopped playing cannons because it was over. At this point I would believe anything. I look up for the plain and spot it just a few yards away from me. A ladder drops and instead of the claw to pick up the remains of a body. Peacekeepers come down. They come to me. They were saving us! District thirteen was here. They pick me up easily and carry me to the ladder. I go willingly because I know there has to be another helicopter coming for Gale and Finnick and Parker. They help me to the ladder and it quickly pulls me up. A set of nurses and doctors were waiting for me and they quickly helped me onto a bed. I layed willingly and looked around eagerly for Finnick and Gale to appear but the face I find isn't one I thought I would ever see again.

President Snow.

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OK how was it? Don't forget to review!


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